You are what you eat? I say you are as what you dress up as! And let's get one thing straight. I was a normal person before all of this magic shit, but now... I’m Malus and this world is just waiting for the taking.
Nice to see the story being updated so quickly. It was a nice detail to see Malus tricking Celestia into paying the ransom while lowering the cred of Twilight Sparkle. Still, I do wonder why is Spike being such a sarcastic ass to the guards.
It was a nice detail to see Malus tricking Celestia into paying the ransom while lowering the cred of Twilight Sparkle.
More to come, more to come my friend.
Still, I do wonder why is Spike being such a sarcastic ass to the guards.
He hit puberty. My god... Is everyone oblivious to that? Sorry, it just that everyone asks that and I feel like I explained it pretty well. Hell, he even asked what it was. Sorry if I seem like an ass, I just don't understand how people didn't catch that. I guess I'll briefly elaborate on that then in future chapters...
7287851 It really depends... My family is going to a theme park soon and that will tire me out. I honestly don't know. I'm no prophet on seeing the future, anything is possible with the fact that A person like Donald Trump being consider america's future savor just baffles me. So again, anything is possible, but I will write when I can.
A small figure stepped out of the shadows to revile a little dragon. The dragon had a black leather jacket with stylish green and purple trims. He had a black and white bandanna over his his mouth and was adored with a rusted pot over his head. He also had a black belt with silver spike on it that held an old wooden sword sheathed tightly under the belt. He had a homemade quiver that hung on his back that held multiple types of blunt kitchen utensils in it. He held a heavily modified toy crossbow in one claw and held his trusty hard iron frying pan in the other.
I'm actually almost impressed. Even by the standards of this kind of story, this is utterly awful. The protagonist is every bit as childish, petty and unlikable as you'd expect a self-important 16 year old with a chip on his shoulder to be. Congrats on adjusting the average downward.
7288245 That's about as much as you can reasonably say about a badly-spelled power fantasy that's not even 20,000 words long. Don't blame people for not being able to give you more when that's about all the effort you actually put into writing it, too.
Before I do anything else, I have to do this. IT'S ALIVE! now, I love sarcastic, puberty, horomone filled spike. He's so funny. Also, Twilight just got owned, and celly is an ass for trying to go back on her word. It's called karma bitch. Do you recognize it?
7308712 yeah it's a trope i recently read about and it makes some of the most relatable and some of the funniest characters and stories that i have come across so far.
Well spelling could use a check through but haven't read much on celestial being this uncaring, though it is fun to see the 'villain' get one over on her. I do hope this continues maybe with a spell checker in future, but otherwise so long as his turn around and tricks aren't so badly simple I don't have a problem. As for others complaints on villains personality ... Really could you see someone happy and reasonable in a land they hate with some influence to who you are meant to be completely changing?.... Plus sadly certain characters can be flagged slightly unstable at least.
So far it seems that celestia has given up and going through the motions while used to getting her way, which is not unexpected...still not clear if she really is an uncaring ruler or just worn down from the century's and losted loved ones.
Celestia looked at him with anger, not liking to being tricked into his game. She hadn't planned on paying a single bit on whoever caught or sighted him, only hoping that such a price would help find Malus.
Wow. So we have an uncaring Celestia here? That seems interesting, but also explains why she just looked as a desperate pony was arrested. So she spouts always about protecting ponies, but doesn't necessarily follow that all too well.
wow, this is awful... its just full of grammatical errors. mostly its the wrong word used, such as Latter instead of Later in this chapter. it makes it somewhat painful to read, and occasionally confusing as well. in a previous chapter i saw Foul was used instead of Foal. most of them, i can tell what the right word is from the context, but it happens way too much.
7856256 This story seems to be defying one of the "rules" of fan fiction. The rule is: the worse the grammar, the worse the plot. The grammar in this IS god-awful, but I love this plot, It's one of the best that I've seen on this website.
8336008 7897472 I agree with you two and it's a unique situation for me. On one hand the grammar mistakes are kicking me out and on the other the plot is pulling me in. Dude just needs a better editor and just keep up the story cause he definitely makes a good story regardless of grammatical errors.
7287773 Thank you, same to you.
Oh my god i LOVED this chapter and i especially loved how Mallus tricked Celestia, please i beg you keep writing this story
7287801 I will, I explained what was going on in my blogs...
Nice to see the story being updated so quickly. It was a nice detail to see Malus tricking Celestia into paying the ransom while lowering the cred of Twilight Sparkle. Still, I do wonder why is Spike being such a sarcastic ass to the guards.
7287830
More to come, more to come my friend.
He hit puberty. My god... Is everyone oblivious to that? Sorry, it just that everyone asks that and I feel like I explained it pretty well. Hell, he even asked what it was. Sorry if I seem like an ass, I just don't understand how people didn't catch that. I guess I'll briefly elaborate on that then in future chapters...
7287824 cool i love this story, sorry if i am unintentionally pressuring you but when can we expect the next chapter?
7287851 It really depends... My family is going to a theme park soon and that will tire me out. I honestly don't know. I'm no prophet on seeing the future, anything is possible with the fact that A person like Donald Trump being consider america's future savor just baffles me. So again, anything is possible, but I will write when I can.
7287863 hope u have fun in the park and i hope 4 great things 4 u n ur stories
Ere' we go boyz
I'm actually almost impressed. Even by the standards of this kind of story, this is utterly awful. The protagonist is every bit as childish, petty and unlikable as you'd expect a self-important 16 year old with a chip on his shoulder to be. Congrats on adjusting the average downward.
7288167 Thanks for being the first one to tell why they didn't like this story. Even if it was vague and useless.
7288245
That's about as much as you can reasonably say about a badly-spelled power fantasy that's not even 20,000 words long. Don't blame people for not being able to give you more when that's about all the effort you actually put into writing it, too.
Before I do anything else, I have to do this. IT'S ALIVE! now, I love sarcastic, puberty, horomone filled spike. He's so funny. Also, Twilight just got owned, and celly is an ass for trying to go back on her word. It's called karma bitch. Do you recognize it?
Human politics celly
You've seen nothing yet of our game >:)
Great chapter man keep it up
Something tells me that Twilight is going to be in a lot of trouble from Celestia or the ponies of Ponyville.
7288840 Thank you, I will.
Ha ponys are easy to minipulate
7299173 Indeed.
to best way to sum up his personality so far,
Jackass with a heart of gold
7308659 truly accurate.
7308712 yeah it's a trope i recently read about and it makes some of the most relatable and some of the funniest characters and stories that i have come across so far.
Well spelling could use a check through but haven't read much on celestial being this uncaring, though it is fun to see the 'villain' get one over on her. I do hope this continues maybe with a spell checker in future, but otherwise so long as his turn around and tricks aren't so badly simple I don't have a problem. As for others complaints on villains personality ... Really could you see someone happy and reasonable in a land they hate with some influence to who you are meant to be completely changing?.... Plus sadly certain characters can be flagged slightly unstable at least.
So far it seems that celestia has given up and going through the motions while used to getting her way, which is not unexpected...still not clear if she really is an uncaring ruler or just worn down from the century's and losted loved ones.
Damn Son, This is Good Shit Can't believe you made this from scratch man, good work.
7379134 ??? Um... Okay?
7380722 yay i confused him. but yes i like your story it is good.
YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES
I need more.
I LOVE THIS STORY!!!
Plz update whenever you can and I'm sorry if it seems like Im pressuring you into writing
7435696 I like that Idea.
7435893 I'm writing it right now, don't worry. I'll have it out soon. BTW Halfway Done with it.
7511706 YAAAYYYYYYY!!!!!
Nice story we should crossover our displaced sometime
7519973 Maybe... You want to see the newest chapter?
7520066 sure
7520087 Here ya go!
Wow. So we have an uncaring Celestia here? That seems interesting, but also explains why she just looked as a desperate pony was arrested. So she spouts always about protecting ponies, but doesn't necessarily follow that all too well.
wow, this is awful... its just full of grammatical errors. mostly its the wrong word used, such as Latter instead of Later in this chapter. it makes it somewhat painful to read, and occasionally confusing as well. in a previous chapter i saw Foul was used instead of Foal. most of them, i can tell what the right word is from the context, but it happens way too much.
7856256 This story seems to be defying one of the "rules" of fan fiction. The rule is: the worse the grammar, the worse the plot. The grammar in this IS god-awful, but I love this plot, It's one of the best that I've seen on this website.
7897472
Yeah if the grammar was half as good as the plot it would be near perfect
8336008
7897472
I agree with you two and it's a unique situation for me. On one hand the grammar mistakes are kicking me out and on the other the plot is pulling me in. Dude just needs a better editor and just keep up the story cause he definitely makes a good story regardless of grammatical errors.
9207284
Again, this is my old work that I actually think and is pretty bad. I only keep it up on this site is because people somehow like it.
7897472
I unironically don't like it either.
God damn, this shit is getting good. Malus l celestia 0
This just gets better and better.