• Member Since 3rd Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Sunday

Piece Bot


I'm just a normal guy who likes ponies and video games.

Comments ( 124 )

My name is Skye Rip.

Really? :trixieshiftright:

Anyone ever introduces him/herself to me like that, I'm gonna ask to see some ID.

6762750 Not too unbeliveable, there's a cartoon producer named Rip Torn, not sure if that's an alias or for real, but odd name like Skye Rip could happen. :twilightsheepish:

6762880
6762750
Names are usually odd anyway, especially surnames.

Okay, there's some interesting displacements but this one is F&^#ED UP!
Looking forward to more.

Not gonna lie. First time I've seen a displacement via actual death.....interesting so far. Favorited.

First, HOLY SHIT, a female Grimm Reaper. Never thought I'd see that.

Everything's good in the first chapter. You've come a long way from the bumbling buffoon you used to be, didn't you?

Thine

Mine. 'Thine' is basically 'yours'.

6807575 I have some other names for this story if you wanna hear them.

6807504 I know, kinda defeats the purpose of the symbolism but oh well :applejackconfused: . Who needs symbolism when you're Death itself?

Why would Death use undead? Why not just use dead spirits as servants? Seems to defeat the point if Death uses things that aren't in its field, you know, of death.

Also female skeleton XD must have bombalicious hips if it's so noticeable that a member of another species can tell your gender from a glance XD.

... What a shit personification of Death. Last time I checked, it was the job of the Grim Reaper to Shepard the dead to the afterlife. It wasn't to stop people dying.

Death as a personification is meant to be calm, polite and near to indifferent. It's a guide. It had business with the living and should not be able to communicate with them. I'd give it to you if you only allowed Granny Smith to be able to perceive that Death is there because she's so old. But no, you have everyone and their dog able to see Death itself just wander and have a chat with their gran.

Also too emotional. Too reactive. It's Death. Walls can't stop it, hiding can't stop and polite conversation and offers of tea and bisuits can't stop it. If Granny is so late, why does Death not just force the issue? Reap the soul and be on her way.

I get the feeling you just wanted a fic about the Grim Reaper in Equestria and didn't really care about the execution. Just for that, I'm going to go through all you've written. And I am going to BITCH about everything that's wrong! It is time, to BITCH my friends! Good day madam/sir!

A scythe is not a weapon, it is a farming implement. If you try to stab someone with it, it'll get stuck. If you try to cut someone with it you'd have to get it behind them and awkwardly move it to the side. You can move the blade to the point up so that it's more like a Halberd but even then it's still complete garbage.

General phrases

Who are you?
Who art thou?

What is your name?
What is thine name?

Just try to use logic to figure out what to replace. If that doesn't work just imagine it being said in your head.

6807559 I think it's more of a word to describe ownership. Like "what is thine name?" would mean "what is your name?" whereas "what art thou's name?" would be "what are you's name?"

“Actually yes, I will take the day off. Actually, I’ll take an entire year off because I really need to clear my head.” I agreed with a literally lipless smile and sped up my floating, leaving the zombie behind. Excited about having the rest of the year off, I passed by the inner gates, waved to the gatekeepers and stopped just short of the first set of the gates leading to Equestria. I could see Cerberus panting as he held a gigantic rubber ball in his mouth.

And this works? Does Death has a replacement to take vacation that long all of a sudden? :rainbowhuh: This is probably hell on all of the staff. I mean, the boss suddenly taking off a year, and they have to do her work? Can this even work out? Especially since Death never took vacation. I'm wondering if they even know what to do! :twilightoops:

“APPLE BLOOM! GRAB THE HANDLE!” I shouted at her, finally noticing that her eyes were closed. Once I realised that, I dropped my arm, immediately jumped down and caught the little filly, stopping our descent almost immediately. I slowly fell back to the earth and crouched, letting the filly slide out of my grasp. She slumped like a ragdoll once she hit the floor, breathing slowly.

Quite ironic that Death just saved her instead of watching or waiting to collect her soul! :rainbowlaugh:

6812729
What symbolism?

6812738
I didn't think of using dead spirits. Also, she told them what gender she was before taking up the job. It's one of the requirements considering she's a skeleton and all.

6812758

... What a shit personification of Death. Last time I checked, it was the job of the Grim Reaper to Shepard the dead to the afterlife. It wasn't to stop people dying.

This is my version of Death and how I think they deal with stuff.

Death as a personification is meant to be calm, polite and near to indifferent. It's a guide. It had business with the living and should not be able to communicate with them. I'd give it to you if you only allowed Granny Smith to be able to perceive that Death is there because she's so old. But no, you have everyone and their dog able to see Death itself just wander and have a chat with their gran.

I'm surprised I didn't have Winona see Death but, how else can I have a story if Death doesn't talk to others and let itself be seen by others?

Also too emotional. Too reactive. It's Death. Walls can't stop it, hiding can't stop and polite conversation and offers of tea and bisuits can't stop it. If Granny is so late, why does Death not just force the issue? Reap the soul and be on her way.

Death was originally a human so she's kept some of her humanity, such as letting things get done in their own time and such.

I get the feeling you just wanted a fic about the Grim Reaper in Equestria and didn't really care about the execution. Just for that, I'm going to go through all you've written. And I am going to BITCH about everything that's wrong! It is time, to BITCH my friends! Good day madam/sir!

Yes. Yes I did and I gladly welcoming your bitching, sir/madam!

6812767
I know it's a farming tool but with every Death personification I've seen, it has a scythe with it.

6812779
Thanks for that, I'll keep it in mind for the next few chapters.

6813592
There are measurements in place from the higher-ups in case anything like this happens, such as a sudden vacation, or if they're having trouble trying to find a new Grim Reaper.

6815706 If my frothing, anger filled bitching helps then I can rest easy at night ^.^

6812767
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/dnd4/images/6/6f/Kerr-4-WarScythe.gif/revision/latest?cb=20150119140553
This is called a War Scythe.

Obviously farm-tool bred, this weapon was a scythe on the end of a pole, and looked similar to a fauchard. The scythe-blade was rotated ninety degrees from the agricultural version, however, extending the length somewhat.

6829091 That was my point. I just couldn't describe it properly because I'm bad at words :applejackconfused:

Honestly I thought of the Demon's Souls one. Basically the same but dat bleed damage :ajsmug:

And once again tia goes all, all Non-pony are the enemy of creation.
THIS is why I am anti-superman and tia. Their power and durability keep them alive but their stupidity will one day doom everyone.

6831770
I completely agree with you.

This is why Luna is the human's favorite princess.

6813592

Okay, one thing, death is neither omnipresent or all powerful, so of course he has additional staff to help him out. That also explains why there are differant depictions of him from differant cultures. The second thing is that this is his year off, so he does not have to be so much "By-the-book" as he was. That means he is just, y'know, taking a break from reaping souls.

Pretty good story,but I a just wondering when we are going to fully get to the present?

6903565 Oh, okay then. Have a great day mate.

somebody just rip tia's wings off and beat her to death with them, do us all a favor

6903565 This looks like something I'd like to cross with, maybe.

6903930
You still thinking about that one?
6903677
I wish somone would.
6903598
You have a great day too.

Thee woulds’t not fly in daylight …

Thou instead of Thee.

How did thou get both of us here quickly?

add 'so' between here and quickly.

‘thee woulds’t not fly in daylight’?

same as the first, thou not thee. Get rid of the apostrophe in wouldst

meant to pass as Bunsen Burner.

put 'a' between as and Bunsen.

“Whatever do you mean?

'Whatever dost thou mean?'

Clover, did thou try their hoof at necromancy again?

change 'their' to 'thy'.

“Clover, can thee get prepared for an attack?”

'canst thou'

my bones so that

delete one space between my and bones.

“We do not expect thou to do a thing.”

change 'thou' to 'thee'

Thee and thou are both used for you. The difference is placement in a sentence. 'Thou art to do nothing. We shouldst have no need of thee. Thou shouldst know that thine services art not required. Our strength is sufficient that we should not have to have thee aid us.' Thee is typically used in the latter part of a sentence where as thou is used in the beginning. Flow of the sentence is also something to keep in mind since using older english can throw it off.

“I doth what I must to protect mine subjects.”

doeth instead of doth.

why thou still have magic going through thy horn.

'thy' to 'thine'

anything untoward us since.

'untoward to us since'. Untoward means inappropriate so you have to add 'to'.

“I doth remember mine sister imprisoning you.” Luna told me, interrupting what I hoped was a convincing tale. I hoped that by telling them of who I was before I took up this job, they would remember how I knew them and not seem so shocked. Which they still do.
“Oh no, she imprisoned me alright. I think it was a few days before you became Nightmare Moon, if I remember rightly. Now will you let me finish?” I asked before they both gave a nod to continue.

Add a 'not' between doth and remember in Luna's dialogue. Right now it's saying that she does remember that happening while Skye's reply makes it seem as though Luna said she doesn't remember.

I noticed there curious looks

Their not there

I expected to be at least one more plan.

'expected there to be'

I stared at Celestia, who appeared to interpret my stare correctly. She simply smiled and opened her mouth to speak, “We want thou to go out into the Everfree and locate the monsters in any way thou thinks will get the job done quickly.”
“You want me to risk myself out there … why?” I asked, forgetting about how I reassembled myself when the Jersey Devil rugby-tackled me into the wall.

Put a space between the two paragraphs.

finally realising that i had no choice in this.

Captial I instead of 'i'

“No, I didn’t. I thought that Tia would be disinclined to acquiesce your request.”

Can't tell if accidental or intentional semi-obscure reference, awesome either way.

Why doesn't this story have a human tag?

question, if the wind goes right through her, wouldn't that mean she's very aerodynamic and the wind wouldn't effect her at all? with the cloak, sure, that could act like a sail, being non aerodynamic and catching the wind, but just a skeleton? i mean, that's why in skyrim the Fusrodah shout doesn't work on skeletons, it goes right through them

6944190
It does now. Thanks for the reminder.

6944546
To be honest, I didn't really give it much thought. I'll see if I can correct it though.

6944611

eh, just wanted to know if you'd thought about that. didnt want her to have a weakness that didnt make sense. thanks for actually paying attention to my comment, you didnt need to change anything for me

6944710
That makes sense. I like people pointing out mistakes in my story without making a big thing out of it.

when do we go back to present time? i wanna see the mane 6's reactions to meeting death

6944751
About five more chapters. We have two more in the past and two that take place before Skye gets back to Equestria. The chapter after those ones will be in the actual present (finally) and that will have Pinkie, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Rarity and Twilight reacting to Death.

Well someone has played or at least watched a lets play of fran bow.

OH MY GOD IT'S FRAN BOW. REMEMBER THE MARKIPLIER

Who’s Derrick?” I asked

ME!!!:pinkiehappy:

Where's the Grim Ripper?

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