You are what you eat? I say you are as what you dress up as! And let's get one thing straight. I was a normal person before all of this magic shit, but now... I’m Malus and this world is just waiting for the taking.
Wonder who else will join the blood pack. I'm hoping for more like maybe the Griffin Emperor or King, the leader of some Dragon clans, maybe more Diamond Dog packs, Zebras, Minotaurs, etc.
7536489 The Sin Preacher Pine Paper is has a quality to see others sins with their blood. It's not a "blood pack", but a dealing between whoever sighs it. This way, both parties will know that bothfulfilled and honestly did their part in the deals on the paper. It is not a pack anyone can join. But merely a dealing that keeps both sides bound and honest to the deal. It is going to be a tactic he uses a lot on trading and possible alliances.
7537154 Ah, I'm just curious on what alliances he will make. I'm interested in stories where Human leaders makes alliances, raises armies, defeats enemies politically, economically, or militarily.
7543536 I may from time to time but i want... What was it again... Oh yeah... Sliver armor "Yes Alpha Rook. Four Diamond dogs in... Um... Sliver armor?"
Edit: "he gasped dryly, his eye wind like that of a child" What's an eye wind?
Edit 2.5: "He then, in a glimpsing moment, looked like a child on Christmas morning." I think 'He looked like a child on Christmas morning for a split second.' would make more sense
Edit 2: "Rook then demeaned he be allowed to pet them and get a 'closer look'. "Why did Rook demean himself? How does one demean?
Edit 3: "He would supple the ores and materials I needed and he would allow the Draugr Empire to keep a quarter of all ores they sent for us to make as payment." How does one 'supple' ores and materials? And why the random underlining? the underlined parts are like that in the story
Edit 4: "You are the vial being that bring death upon our ponies and crippled The Element of Loyalty!" Nuff said
Edit 5: "The land turned into sinders of the what was once life and reeked the air with death." Dafuq? 'the air reeked of death' maybe?
Edit 6: "The world around us was empty field of barren land as the sky darkened the sun by clouds of ash and burning embers." 'was an empty' perhaps, 'sun with clouds of ash' might work better
Edit 7: "Music began to play in the area as it set a hunted feel as we could taste the damnation in the air. All hope of life was gone, no signs of the beauty to ever return again." You mean haunted? It flows better to me if 'the' is removed
...............
Edit 8: that's all Stupid found, mastah. Fix mitsakes so The Others canz enjoy story moar!
i love this Malus, he reminds me of the guy from the Anime Overlord, also when will you exit hiatus on this story? you still have many patient followers, licking your boots as it were
as he said "Princess Luna, this is the Valley of the Devoid. Welcome to the Equestrian future." i imagined him talking about how this is the one thing humanity was built for, destroying all life, how by even having one human in Equestria they have been damned to the greatest hell of all time. this is our purpose and you cannot escape, for death is only the beginning when it comes to humanity
we have come and death is our veiled cloak, whispers of the end fill your ears as we pass by, we will not just kill you, we will kill your existence, history will forget you, the planet will have no marks left behind by you, you way of life will be forgotton as your culture is burned away, goodbye ponies.
7535140 Fine.
7521676 What the hell is your profile picture XD
7535308 I question the same thing.
7535138
I thought he wanted a better future?
7535869 He dose. It was merely a cliffhanger.
7535879 Oh ok.
Loved the blood pact
7535985 Thanks
Well...
It seems that equestria is about to meet it's end sooner than I anticipated.,..
Lord malus please burn their paradise
7536159 Don't get ahead of yourself in that subject my friend. For I have plans for this story.
Wonder who else will join the blood pack. I'm hoping for more like maybe the Griffin Emperor or King, the leader of some Dragon clans, maybe more Diamond Dog packs, Zebras, Minotaurs, etc.
7536489 The Sin Preacher Pine Paper is has a quality to see others sins with their blood. It's not a "blood pack", but a dealing between whoever sighs it. This way, both parties will know that both fulfilled and honestly did their part in the deals on the paper. It is not a pack anyone can join. But merely a dealing that keeps both sides bound and honest to the deal. It is going to be a tactic he uses a lot on trading and possible alliances.
7537154 Ah, I'm just curious on what alliances he will make. I'm interested in stories where Human leaders makes alliances, raises armies, defeats enemies politically, economically, or militarily.
No need to PM me spoil it for me. I'll wait.
7537212 I wasn't planing spoiling it for any of you.
7537219 Ok, just making sure because I know there are authors in this website who will do that shit.
Cinders, not sinders
Vile, not a vial
JUST REALIZED NEW CHAPTER OMFL!!!
7543525 Lol, you fail.
7543536 I may from time to time but i want... What was it again... Oh yeah... Sliver armor
"Yes Alpha Rook. Four Diamond dogs in... Um... Sliver armor?"
Edit: "he gasped dryly, his eye wind like that of a child" What's an eye wind?
Edit 2.5: "He then, in a glimpsing moment, looked like a child on Christmas morning." I think 'He looked like a child on Christmas morning for a split second.' would make more sense
Edit 2: "Rook then demeaned he be allowed to pet them and get a 'closer look'. "Why did Rook demean himself? How does one demean?
Edit 3: "He would supple the ores and materials I needed and he would allow the Draugr Empire to keep a quarter of all ores they sent for us to make as payment." How does one 'supple' ores and materials? And why the random underlining? the underlined parts are like that in the story
Edit 4: "You are the vial being that bring death upon our ponies and crippled The Element of Loyalty!" Nuff said
Edit 5: "The land turned into sinders of the what was once life and reeked the air with death." Dafuq? 'the air reeked of death' maybe?
Edit 6: "The world around us was empty field of barren land as the sky darkened the sun by clouds of ash and burning embers." 'was an empty' perhaps, 'sun with clouds of ash' might work better
Edit 7: "Music began to play in the area as it set a hunted feel as we could taste the damnation in the air. All hope of life was gone, no signs of the beauty to ever return again." You mean haunted? It flows better to me if 'the' is removed
...............
Edit 8: that's all Stupid found, mastah. Fix mitsakes so The Others canz enjoy story moar!
i love this Malus, he reminds me of the guy from the Anime Overlord, also when will you exit hiatus on this story? you still have many patient followers, licking your boots as it were
7543542 Edits have been made.
7590357 I know. I've been having bad streak of bad luck as of late... But I hope I can get back on my feet and start writing again....
7682816 Nice to know I'm helping this story become better. Get well soon, I miss you and your stories!
7682919 .... Okay... Thanks?
7682959 You're welcome!
Wow! amazing work so far, I can't wait till the next chapter!
Any idea when it will be out?
7725503 Indeeds. :D
7725555 Maybe sometime yet not be today?
7736001
7736023 Here ya GO! Another Chapter!
as he said "Princess Luna, this is the Valley of the Devoid. Welcome to the Equestrian future." i imagined him talking about how this is the one thing humanity was built for, destroying all life, how by even having one human in Equestria they have been damned to the greatest hell of all time. this is our purpose and you cannot escape, for death is only the beginning when it comes to humanity
we have come and death is our veiled cloak, whispers of the end fill your ears as we pass by, we will not just kill you, we will kill your existence, history will forget you, the planet will have no marks left behind by you, you way of life will be forgotton as your culture is burned away, goodbye ponies.