I'm older than your average brony, but then I've always enjoyed cartoons. I'm an experienced reviewer, EqD pre-reader, and occasional author.
Twilight Sparkle has asked Rarity over to the castle to help with... something. She wouldn't say what. And Rainbow Dash is sure going out of her way to make certain Rarity gets there. Finally time to deal with this, it seems.
Expanded version of the 17th-place finisher in the /fic/ mini write-off "Just Over the Horizon."
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Another one of those stories where I would like to expect more. I enjoyed this very much.
6318528
I agree that Twilight wouldn't try to break anypony up, but I don't think that was her goal. Even if Rarity wasn't with Blueblood, it's likely that she's straight, and Twilight knows that she's unattainable. She just needed Rarity to know how she felt, and by doing it in such a roundabout way, perhaps soften the blow.
Good, but it feels like it should be the start of a longer story. I'm left wanting to know what happens next, and hoping for it not to be the obvious "and they all suffered in silence miserably ever after" implied by cutting off here without any apparent prospect of changing their unsatisfying status quo.
I'm glad to know that a 3,204 word chapter brings the total word count of this fic to an outstanding 0.
MORE OR AT LEAST ONE MORE CHAPTER! YOU CAN'T JUST END IT LIKE THAT!
Bro ...
This was a superb story in the most bittersweet, "I know them feels" way. I cannot - and will not - fault the storytelling, or narrative.
But please, please ... Please do something about the melancholy finality of this. You've captured a situation that plays out too many times around the world, in the real world ... Can't we have a happy ending with our happy make-belief world? Wouldn't you consider sacrificing the story's integrity, from an artistic point of view, to give us the sweetness and happiness that sort of makes MLP:FiM so beloved?
I am so sad having read this. Masterfully done, but it leaves a hollow feeling in the heart. I need some chicken soup for my soul.
Ya know, I like this. It's kind of sobering. Not every story has a happy ending.
But the ones that kill Rarilight are the saddestAnyway, great work. Everyone seemed in character, and I loved how Twilight confessed.
6320073
I certainly agree. This story, good as it is, certainly suffers from a nasty case of Teathercatting
6322068
6322819
It seems that rather than a happy or even a dark ending this story's ending is in some sort of Schrödinger's plot undefined, unresolved state.
I think this piece is well written but the situation strikes me as strange. Rainbow has kids so presumably its been many years since the Mane 6 met. So twilight has been crushing on rarity for what, 10 years? It just seems like such a long time. I guess that the purpose of Bluebood in the story? For that line, reflecting Rarity and Twi's situation of still loving someone all these years.
I really don't know how to view this one.
Happy to find RariLight. Sad it had to end like this. But now I'm going to imagine some continuation where Twilight gets Rarity away from Blueblood and they make it work, damn it, so... I don't know, happy in the end I guess? Isn't that the point of sad stories, to make you imagine ways things could work out better?
6329145 Sure. Rarity's clearly becoming less enamored with Blueblood all the time, so she may well find herself available in the near future.
Loved this just as much as the first time I read it. I remember, in the original, having the impression that Rarity knew the whole time who the letter was for, but here it doesn't seem like she realizes it until she goes to leave--maybe I just interpreted the original wrongly? Either way, it's great stuff. It has one of the story elements which nearly always draws immediate investment from me, for all that it's bittersweet, and that's the mane six having become full adults and moved on with their individual lives. I both love and hate it in stories--hate because, you know, it's sad, it's not what you want. You want them to stay close together forever. At least I do. But in life that is rarely what happens. When applied to the mane six it's very poignant, because of the nature of their relationship and how much they've been through. And it reminds me just how "normal" they really are.
So, a sad and somewhat tragic story, though both parties are resigned to their present fates and have presumably found a way to draw happiness from their lives despite the circumstances--which is, I think, what makes it more believable. Had Rarity hated everything about Blueblood yet still refused to leave him, choosing to drown herself in complete sorrow, it would have made the ending a bit difficult to swallow, I think, unless you went into the reasons why she stayed with him (and you could easily invent good reasons). But the way you have it is how it usually goes in life. People are in unhappy circumstances, and they either find a source of happiness or invent one. In either case, the happiness is either a truly good reason to stay or an excuse because one is afraid of change (assuming change could happen). It's hard to tell which it is for Rarity, and there is no choice for Twilight other than find contentment or be miserable.
6354260 It's a little ambiguous here whether Rarity knows what's going on at first. I would have actually expected the opposite reaction, that the original showed Rarity as oblivious, since she doesn't really have any thoughts about the matter, and that she knows in this one, since there's a clue to such, but it's in the synopsis, so it's easily forgotten. She definitely at least knows something's up, since she already knew Dash had an ulterior motive in walking her to the train station and somehow already knew what her errand was. But it's vague enough that it's possible to take it either way.
I was also hoping readers would notice the theme of how Rarity keeps comparing things to kinds of cloth.
6355453
Yeah, see, I think in the original I simply thought Rarity knew all along, since it was clear to me who Twilight loved, and so I assumed it was clear to Rarity. I view her as one of the most intelligent characters on the show--not book smart or good with abstract theory or getting the Big Picture, like Twilight, but in perceiving social behavior and deducing the source. I feel like she's too sharp to miss the obvious hints Twilight gives, namely citing memories that all had to do with Rarity. Even so, I thought that Rarity's surprised reaction to Twilight saying she won't finish the letter, how she cries alone in the hallway, and then stops Rainbow from giving away the identity of who Twilight loves (which any other time she would strangle Dash for not telling her) were all clear hints that she finally understood the situation.
Oh yeah, she does compare things to cloth, doesn't she? I didn't fully make that connection the first time. It's a nice, Rarity-like touch. I remember noticing 'crinoline' but was too lazy to look it up at first :p
6357236
Oh, I think I misinterpreted your original comment, then. Yes, there is a difference between the two stories in how Rarity reacts. In the original, she doesn't show much change before or after, so you could really go either way, thinking she must have come into this already knowing about it or going away still oblivious. The expanded one could also be taken either way. Rarity certainly knows something's up from the start, but it's arguable whether or not she actually knew what. Her reaction to Twilight slipping up a bit and using "she" could mean it finally dawned on her there or that it was merely confirmation of what she already suspected. By the time she leaves the castle, she definitely knows, both because of the last thing she says to Twilight, crying in the hall, and basically not allowing Dash to bring up the subject. It's just not perfectly clear whether she knew before the story starts (and the synopsis gives away my personal view of that).
6358512
Ahh okay I see what you meant. Yeah, I agree completely. And personally, I like to think Rarity knew beforehand, too. It lends a greater level of character to both her and Twilight, I feel, heightening the meaning of their detachment to the topic. They discuss it like a writeoff entry. But you know on the inside they must feel emotions difficult to contain, and yet they contain them. They're communicating entirely beneath the surface, despite being alone together, and it says a lot about them both.
6360672 I didn't even plan any subtext while they're working on the letter but you could certainly interpret it as Rarity not knowing who the letter's about until they're finished with it, or that Rarity knows all along and is deliberately sounding oblivious because it complicates things if Twilight knows that she gets it. But then she drops the pretense at the last minute.
It's very interesting to see the things that readers come up with that I hadn't even intended.
6362333
I actually like to think Twilight knows Rarity knows, at least from the time Rarity first reads the letter. There's not really any evidence for this, but I like it because it enhances the drama.
Yeah, it's fascinating to see what others read into your stories. Apparently, I ship ponies without ever actually intending to ship them :p
I reviewed this story!
My review can be found here.
It felt like a typical love story bit that wham line at the end about Blueblood was definitely worth it. Rereading the story after that ends up changing your perspective of the story. Though Rainbow was sadly underused here.