• Published 8th Jul 2015
  • 2,933 Views, 52 Comments

The Formula - Daedalus Aegle



Twilight Sparkle makes a discovery that explains everything.

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By Any Other Name

It was Wednesday the week after the two-day long Ponyville mayoral election campaign of 2015 had ended with the abrupt collapse of the Apple Muffin Party, and Princess Twilight was engaged in high-stakes royal negotiations in Canterlot.

“And that, Twilight,” Celestia concluded, “is why I can't allow you to publish your article. I'm very sorry, but I'm sure you'll agree that my reasons are sound.”

“Oh, absolutely, Celestia,” Twilight conceded. “You presented your arguments in comprehensive detail, and your reasoning is absolutely flawless. You also listened very patiently to my counterarguments, as well as my concerns about the implications of your decision for academic freedom and scientific inquiry, and answered them all to my satisfaction. I may regret it, but I completely accept your decision.”

Celestia nodded with a smile, and sipped her tea. “I'm very happy to hear that, Twilight. I'm sure there won't be any more unpleasant surprises like this, but next time you're going unveil some deep mystery of magic, do give me a heads up first, alright?”

“Yes, Celestia. Well, there are still so many other mysteries of pony magic that nopony has ever explained,” Twilight said. “Like – names, for example. Why do so many ponies have names that just happen to perfectly fit their special talents? Even their destinies? Like me, for instance. What are the odds that a pony named 'Twilight' would bridge the divide between you and Princess Luna, between night and day? There must be something buried deep in the fabric of magic itself that creates concurrences like that.”

Celestia coughed and nodded a little too quickly.

“And come to think of it,” Twilight continued, oblivious to the strained smile of her mentor, “Isn't it funny that your personal student before me was named Sunset Shimmer? I mean, Sunset, Twilight, Shimmer, Sparkle, Celestia, Luna. Isn't that strange? I mean – hah! - what are the odds, right?”

“Hrm – yes! What are the odds indeed. Ha ha – ha!”

Twilight tilted her head to the side and looked suspiciously at her old mentor. “You're acting kind of strangely, Princess. Is something wrong? Is there something you're not telling me?”

Celestia hesitated, and turned her face away. “It's – it's a touchy subject for me, Twilight.”

Twilight looked at her old mentor with large, insecure eyes. “I don't understand, Princess. You know I'd never betray your confidence. I thought there were no secrets between us anymore?”

“Okay… look… the truth is...” Celestia sighed. “The truth is that many years before I met you, Twilight, I got the idea of looking for unicorns whose names suggested the transition between night and day. I knew that the prophecy of Nightmare Moon was going to come true, and I needed to be ready. I hoped to find the pony who would help reunite me and my sister, and the first thing I looked at was their names. I already knew you were taking the entry exam for my school in Canterlot that day, Twilight, and when I saw the rainboom, and your magic surge immediately after, I knew you had to be the one. And you were.” She smiled, not the glorious smile of the sun, but the private smile of a pony who had seen her greatest fears banished, and had found again that which had been lost. A soft dewdrop of tears nestled in the corner of Celestia's eye.

“Oh princess...” Twilight got out of her seat and went around the table to nuzzle her teacher, pressing tight against her side.

They stood like that for a while in comfortable, intimate silence before Twilight raised her head. “...But what about Sunset?”

“...Ah. Yes. Her.” Celestia glanced around her, as if avoiding Twilight's eyes. “Well...”

“What's the matter, Princess?”

“Please don't call me that, Twilight.”

“Sorry!”

“The thing is… You weren't the first unicorn pony I found who had a name that made me think of Luna. I trained Sunset Shimmer when you were just a filly, because at the time I believed that she would be the one who would reconcile us. Time was beginning to run short before Nightmare Moon's return, and you know that a proper education takes many years. So… I took a chance on a filly before I could be completely certain about her, and I paid the price. I taught Sunset Shimmer more than she was prepared for, skills she was not able or willing to wield responsibly.” Celestia gazed off into the distance. “She wanted me to raise her up to princesshood. But she did not understand what that meant. She thought she deserved it only because of her magical power and her ambition. I still remember the last conversation I had with her, when I finally gave up on her and sent her away.”

“That's so sad,” Twilight said, and nuzzled gently into her mentor's side. “At least you got it right on the second try.”

An awkward silence ensued.

“...I wasn't your second try either, was I?”

“You know what, it might be easier if I just show you the list.”

– – –

“So this is…?”

Dusk Gleam. Midnight Sun. Aurora Dance.

Celestia nodded. “Every unicorn I took on as my private student before you, hoping to find the one who would bring Luna back to me, yes.”

Starry Summer. Dawn Song. Shining Morning.

“That's a lot of names.”

“Yes.”

Sunrise Glimmer. Sunset Sparkle. Sunrise Snowfall. Sunset Snowfall.

“The Snowfalls were twins. I had a good feeling about those two.”

Moonrise Sunbeam. Shady Days. Eclipse Blossom.

“This is… different.”

Evening Star. Misty Morning. Starlight Glimmer.

“Starlight Glimmer?!”

“Well, where did you think she learned self-levitation?”

And finally, at the bottom of the list, Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle.

The two of them stood looking at the list in deafening silence while the moments ticked by, until Celestia cleared her throat. “Well, the upshot of it is that by now Equestria is full of extremely powerful unicorns with themed names who have gone mad with power.”

“I had wondered about that...”

“Yes. So…”

Celestia moved to place a hoof gently on Twilight's shoulder, but the smaller alicorn stepped away. “You know, this is really a lot to take in all at once. I think I'm gonna need some time to process this.”

Celestia looked at her sadly. “You know you're very special to me, right, Twilight?”

“…Yeah. I know.”

“Alright,” Celestia nodded. “I understand… Just do me one favor, if you would, Twilight? Please don't ever ask me about Lightbringer Morningstar.”

– – –

Sunset frowned in confusion as she read the note that had just popped up in the magical book.

Dear Sunset Shimmer,

You are hereby invited to attend the first meeting of the Troubled Unicorn Redemption Network, TURN.

TURN is a new support group for unicorns who left or were expelled from Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns due to irreconcilable philosophical differences with Princess Celestia. It is my hope that TURN will help rehabilitate unicorns who would otherwise be drawn into unhealthy behaviors like 'world domination' or 'becoming a cult leader', and instead help them along the path to becoming happy, healthy members of society.

As a former Most Faithful Student of Princess Celestia who has turned your life around after dabbling with dark powers, you have a lot to contribute to TURN and I hope you are interested in joining this exciting new project of friendship.

The first meeting will take place at the Castle of Friendship in Ponyville next Saturday at noon, and I would very much like it if you could come. Just step through the portal and ring the bell, and I will be there in a jiffy.

You can TURN your life around!

Sincerely,

Princess Twilight Sparkle.

(Hi Sunset! Spike here. Twilight had me write this message but I have no idea what it's about. She's just pacing in a circle muttering something about how it was “just her turn”. Any idea what's going on?)

Comments ( 16 )

Oh god. Lightbringer Morningstar. In other words, the two meanings of the name Lucifer. She taught the devil.

What. The. Fuck?

I approve.

Lightbringer Morningstar.

:facehoof:

6754432
I hear he managed to get 1/3 of the unicorns in Equestria to join him...

:twilightoops: Lightbringer Morningstar, huh? If Lucifer is a fallen angel, then are unicorns angels?
:trollestia: That's right. Of course, I couldn't let him trouble my little ponies, so I took care of it.
:twilightoops: I'm gonna regret asking this. Took care of it how?
:trollestia: In about the same way I took care of Discord.
:twilightoops: Discord? Let's see, you transformed him into stone and then sent him off to live with Fluttershy to redeem him. ... Wait a minute ... transforming the villain ... a fallen angel ... living with Fluttershy .... :facehoof: Please tell me you didn't.
:trollestia: I did.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/9/21/984775__safe_fluttershy_screencap_angel+bunny_evil+grin_scare-dash-master_spoiler-colon-s05e21.png
I always knew Angel Bunny was the devil.

6754809
The WTF Approval is the best approval.

6754432 6755213
He seemed ideal on paper. There was both great light, and great shadow in him. He had such a fitting name! I didn't know what he would become! :raritydespair:

6756117
That is by far the best explanation for Angel Bunny yet. Nightmare Angel from "Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep" was totally his true form.

But this also reveals Celestia's short-sightedness: someday Fluttershy is going to command an army of the most powerful beings in Equestria, redeemed but slavishly loyal to her, and then all the world will become a nature reserve and ponies will once more have to skulk in the shadows to hide from predators.

Well, I hope someone knows a spell that can drain the crazy out of twilight. I don't take kindly to those who illegally own insanity.

The two of them stood looking at the list in deafening silence while the moments ticked by, until Celestia cleared her throat. “Well, the upshot of it is that by now Equestria is full of extremely powerful unicorns with themed names who have gone mad with power.”

Kind of makes Celestia calling Twilight "my most faithful student" sound like damning with faint praise, doesn't it?

6759645
"Well done, my one student who hasn't yet betrayed me!"

6759645
So... Twilight is now going to act completely out of character and Celestia is going to learn something?

“Starlight Glimmer?!”
“Well, where did you think she learned self-levitation?”

Point taken.

“Alright,” Celestia nodded. “I understand… Just do me one favor, if you would, Twilight? Please don't ever ask me about Lightbringer Morningstar.”

Considering what that's probably a reference to, I shall not.

oh Celestia

on the other hand, Celestia would have been left really embarrassed if in the end it was an Earth Pony or Pegasus who stopped Nightmare Moon

Huh. I accidentally never moved this out of Read it Later, so I missed this chapter. Whoops.

Still, a very amusing chapter. Not the first time I've seen this idea proposed, but definitely an entertaining presentation of it. (Funnily enough, Lightbringer Morningstar just went on to study bioluminescence; Celestia banished him when he tried to perform biomantic mutations on himself for, quote, "awesome glowing racing stripes." Up until then, she'd hoped that all those pegasus friends he'd been making were a promising sign...)

Meanwhile, the interaction of name and cutie mark is rather interesting, especially since most examples tend to confuse the causality. After all, a lot of them are background ponies named by the fanbase, who had little more to go on than cutie mark and coloration. Of course, the later canonization of some of those names didn't help matters. :applejackunsure:

In any case, I'm glad I finally got around to reading this. :twilightsmile:

7461244
Oh, cool. Glad you enjoyed it :pinkiesmile: This story was admittedly tagged Complete from the first chapter, so it was understandable that even people who enjoyed it might not have noticed that I added a second chapter months later.

Lightbringer Morningstar also approached the Batponies, but they slammed the door on him. They assumed he was just another goth fanpony, and were sick and tired of dealing with them.


I was also inspired to write a third chapter last Christmas, which was distinctly short on snow. In it, Twilight, Sunset, Rainbow and Starlight would meet to discuss why all the snow Cloudsdale had allotted to Ponyville melted in the first week of winter. Starlight Glimmer would propose that since Twilight's ascension, new friendships were forming across Equestria at an unprecedented rate, and the magical waste product of this core Equestrian industry, the Fire of Friendship, was raising the average global temperature. She would propose bringing back a controlled population of windigos to counteract the damage, or switch over to "clean friendship" that doesn't have a magical byproduct. Twilight would not be very happy with this.

Sadly, when I tried writing the chapter it turned into an actual discussion of global warming, and wasn't very funny :unsuresweetie:

Oh dear, this is what happens when one tampers with the universe n_n

THIS is comedy [for me]. :rainbowlaugh:

goddamn it sunbutt

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