Something something it's alive. The joke is overused. Moving on.

Dusk didn’t know if it was because he was now male, or because he had never experienced copulation as a mare and thus had no idea what he had been missing, but next to researching a brand new spell, intercourse was now his most favorite thing in the world.

Bit of both.

“Ouch,” Dusk cried out as he stepped on the rake he been warned about and the handle flew up and hit him on the tip of his tender muzzle.

Ah the rake to the face. I love that gag. Also, I feel like the comma after Ouch should be an exclamation mark.

plumb

No b.

see how you’re making out

Not sure that's the phrase you're looking for, Dusk.

Just as Dusk was wondering if he should go and apologize to Applejack, Big Mac answered his question. “Enope. Not getting involved. You and Applejack are going to have to figure this out your ownselves.”

On your own, not our ownselves. But that's a smart move.

McIntosh’s

Macintosh.

Which is why this is the last chapter of Dusk Shine Rising. I hope you will join me in a short little bit, I hope, to try out the first chapter of "Dusk Shine and the Mysterious Society." Working title.

And much like always, I'm more than happy to help.

Carridoon; Project Clocktower

7569862

McIntosh’s

Macintosh

Actually, McIntosh is the correct spelling. But you can find sources that say it is Macintosh, but the apple variety for sure is McIntosh, so that is the one I use.

Thanks for pointing out the other typos.

7569880

Not bad, though I do want to get Dusk Shine in the title. So maybe "Dusk Shine: Project Clocktower"?

Everyone get your votes and suggestions in.

7569919 hhmmn... Damn i wish there was a chancellor pudding head emoticon that looked spectical.

Carridoon, Dusk shines saga; project Clocktower

7570477

Well, the description of the story will contain the fact that it is a Caridoon story.

7571077 mayhaps that one will do, it rings clear to me.

7574002
Thanks I think. I find myself more comfortable with her being Dusk Shine, and doing the things he is going to be doing, if she had that repressed feeling that being a Stallion was more natural for her.

7746049 My Big Mac has total confidence in himself. That means he does not have to put on a tough guy facade to prove he is bad ass.
He has no problem displaying his emotions, well, in his own way. He's still laconic as hell for the most part.

He's fully capable of being gentle and considerate if that is what his partner wants. And even if they want it hard and rough he still feels affection and love for them.

7867551 The series is Anthro. Meaning he has hands. I try not to make an issue of it in the story so people who hate Anthro can enjoy it more, but sometimes there is no getting around it.

This story was...okish. A lot of the sexual scenes in skimmed because it wasn't the pairing for me and I'm not a big Dusk fan to tell you the truth. I also feel like you missed a big opportunity but it's far too late.

Before I read this, what is the Dark tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?

8130387
Dark is not the primary aspect of the story.
There are certain elements that some people might find dark, so it's a warning in that regard. But my main goal was to try and create a situation with Kinky BDSM elements, but with a light touch.

I won't say I succeeded, but I was more intent on leaning more toward comedy than dark.

The pre-equal to this. "Applejacked" is for sure dark.

8785733
Right, I feel ya.

If you haven't gotten anyone to look over this story specifically, I could probably go back over it some time.

8785889

Thank you for the offer. I might take you up on that sometime. Would you be interested in looking at new material?

To tell the truth I'm having a hard enough time focusing on continuing the storyline without diving into a full-blown edit.

I recently downloaded an add-on called Grammarly I'm going to give it a try when going over my rough drafts. With any luck, it will spot the most glaring errors.

8786018
I would be interested in seeing new stuff, but preferably I'd like to finish reading what I've got to get through right now.

And Grammarly is great, it'll catch a LOT of stuff (I use it just in case) but it's not perfect. They've got Grammarly for Chrome (as an extension) and MS Word as a separate *thing* so you can get both for free if you want.

8786047

my problem is that I use word perfect, and I'm not sure if it works with that. I have it as an add-on to Firefox. But it tends to glitch a bit. The red line is usually several lines above the actual mistake.

Is my intent to load the story into the Grammarly text engine? and do the proofing there before transferring it to my google doc.

8787244
Ah, I can't help you there. I don't use either of Word Perfect or Firefox. Good luck in any case my dude.