• Member Since 9th May, 2012
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

Godzillawolf


E

Rainbow Dash is having a bad day. She's received a letter from the Wonderbolts that left her very upset...oh, and she's now on the run from the guard thanks to a mysterious impostor.

Now Rainbow Dash has to uncover the fake's identity from the shadows...and a masked mare is very good at that.

Commission and Preview Pic by GrimWolf001

MLP belongs to Hasbro!

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 31 )

“...Not fair to her, or not fair to yah?” Applejack asked. “Is it not fair that Rainbow Dash got hurt too or is it not fair because yah can't be jealous of her anymore since she got the raw end of the deal just like ya?”

Not sure how much the second part was needed. But this was truly a wonderful baby to read!

Eventually, the masked mare left and she carefully slipped in through the window (thankfully it'd been a hot day and she'd kept it open). “Alright, let's see what we have here...”

Shouldn't it be Storm Raver in that first sentence?

Nice little story, I liked it. Are you planning on writing more? I liked this Mare-Do-Well.

Rainbow Dash wearing THAT suit... Sadistically awesome. I approve. :trollestia:

This is a very enjoyable Mare-Do-Well story.... more please.

Ri2

The most incredible thing about this is Rainbowshine's work ethic. That mare deserves a promotion!

Ri2

Mare-Do-Well returns!
Also, I want to see more of Discord's pet slime.

Ri2

LIghtning Dust, is that you?

Great to see this one here! I love this one, and am glad for a reason/excuse to read it again.

Double reference to a certain crossover coming right up! :trollestia:

Comment posted by Magicdolphin30 deleted Dec 24th, 2015

You need a sequel this story was like a love letter to my childhood hero Batman

6856213 who was it can I commission a sequel do I have to pay since its a commission

6856945 Yes, I'd ask for payment to do a sequel. I'd also like to ask the original commissioner if he MINDS but I'd be willing to.

6856976 dang no sequel then I'm broke as dirt at the moment

7481971 no way I have no money

I think I may have an idea who the culprit is, considering the pattern I'm seeing between Rainbow Dash and the wonderbolts. Only SHE has the motive and the means to pull off these kinds of crimes. Let's see if I'm right.

It feels so good to know that Twilight and the others are giving Rainbow Dash plenty of support in her quest to clear her name and catch the culprit.

You threw me off a couple times, thinking the culprit was Storm. But it looks like I was right about...ahem....s certain selfish Pegasus.

That sure was an awesome fight between Mare-Do-Well and the Rainbow Menace.

Where do I begin?

First: This is probably one of the few times Pinkie Pie legitimately annoyed me with her meta humor. Everytime she opened her mouth concerning mystery cliches, I kept screaming "PINKIE! WOULD YOU JUST SHUT THE F*CK UP ALREADY?! SHEESH!"

Second: I was having strong amounts o hatred for Storm Raver for what she did to RD and Lighning. While I approve of Fluttershy's kindness towards the villain, I will say the latter's jail time and loss of a good reputation brought a lot of satisfaction for me.

Third: Lightning Dust.............when I finally learned that she legitimately tried to change and was rejected, which caused her to snap and commit these horrible crimes, and now realized that she went on a rampage for no good reason whatsoever and has to face consequences for it............................it made me very emotional and teary. I really felt Lightning's rejection, anger, sorrow, guilt, shame, and despair. I was very much torn apart as I continued to read.

I am very happy that Lightning is given a chance to redeem herself and earn her way back to the wonderbolts. I have faith that she will succeed this time.

And I am very happy with RD's resolution and closure as the story ends. Every stone has been turned and every loose end has been wrapped up to a satisfying conclusion.

I enjoyed this story was very entertained by it. And you did manage to get me guess wrong a few times in this mystery story, which is a good thing because that meant your writing was excellent. Just needs work on grammar though.

O give this my David Crespo stamp of approval. :rainbowdetermined2::pinkiehappy::yay:

This has the makings of a good fic. However, there are a lot of errors here. Most, if not all, of the times you put "it's", the word is supposed to be "its" (no apostrophe). There are also spots where either mispunctuation or missing words make the sentence hard to parse.

A reader should never have to make mental edits to understand what is being written.

However, your story is good enough so far that you haven't thrown me off. For now, I'll keep reading.

This chapter makes up for the faults of the previous one quite well (but the errors should still be fixed nonetheless). Now let's see where this mystery will go...

So far, so good. And of course Pinkie would be genre savvy! :pinkiecrazy:

There were a few homophone errors, though ("peaked" for "peeked", "who's" for "whose").

Awesome fight. However, IIRC, Private Eye did not have an accent in the earlier chapters. The unexplained change in speaking style is jarring.

7557755 basically said everything I intended to say and then some. Good job, Godzillawolf. I was looking for a mystery story that did NOT have Twilight Sparkle as the main protagonist, and you did not disappoint.

This story deserves more views, but first, PLEASE fix the spelling errors holding it back. Here's a few

Are we mad yah framed are friend?

our friend

Lightning Dust set in her cell at Cloudsdale's (very underused) prison

sat in her cell

7649006 I apologize for that.

The accent came about with some back and forth with discussion with the commissioner. Nothing major, just he was always INTENDED to have an accent, but whether it should be included as informed or actually in his dialog was a bit up in the air.

OBJECTION! THAT WAS THE WRIGHT REFERENCE

I regret you don't do story commissions anymore.

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