Mare-Do-Well vs the Rainbow Menace

by Godzillawolf

Chapter 2

Rainbow Dash coughed, clamping her wings over her nose, her hooves inconveniently being too busy being hoofcuffed. The odor assaulting her nose was something akin to burning cotton candy and spoiled chocolate milk.

The rainbow maned pegasus groaned and looked around as the odor cleared, finding herself in what looked like the lair of a Con Mane villain. There was even a shark pit the pegasus was pleasantly surprised she wasn't currently hanging upside down over.

“So we meet again, Miss Rainbow Dash...”

A light came on from above to reveal a big black chair. The chair then spun around to reveal...

“Discord!”

The Draconequus chuckled, now inexplicably in a rocking chair. A tiny white kitten that Rainbow Dash couldn't help feeling she recognized on his lap, being stroked by the monocle wearing Chaos Spirit.

“Did you miss me?” Discord asked, putting his pinkie claw to his mouth with a chuckle.

“No, and I don't know why you expected me to.”

“No, Miss Dash, I expected you to-”

“Um...excuse me?”

Both blinked, looking to the side as a door opened, letting a shaft of light fall on the two and revealing a cream colored pegasus, looking around in confusion. Rainbow Dash gave a sign of relief.

“Discord, could you please...um, turn my cottage back to normal? If it's not too much trouble...Please?”

The embodiment of Chaos sighed in annoyance, crossing his arms over his chest like a spoiled child. “Fine...”

He snapped his fingers and the lair befitting of a cackling supervillain was replaced by the quiet, humble cottage that Fluttershy called home, though notably the curtains, rugs, and so on remained somewhat mismatched and a little garish. Discord then sat Fluttershy's 'puddy tat' down, allowing the little animal to nuzzle its owner with a soft purr. “I was just having a little bit of fun, Fluttershy, that's all.”

“Did that fun involve framing me?!” their guest spat at the Draconequus with a glare, struggling in her bindings.

Fluttershy blinked in confusion. “Framed y-”

Discord gasped, putting his eagle claw to his chest in fake shock. “Me? Oh Rainbow Dash, how could you accuse me of such a thing?”

“Why? Because 'we're friends' and I should 'trust you?'”

“Oh goodness no! I mean accuse me of something so trite and cliché!” the Spirit of Chaos admitted, turning his nose up in a snooty fashion. “I mean really, frame you? Not only would it upset Fluttershy, it'd be painfully predictable! I'd never do the predictable thing when it's predictable! I only do the predictable thing when it's UNpredictable!”

“That makes no sense.”

Discord gave a flat look. “And at what point did I give the impression I cared if I make sense or not?”

Rainbow Dash gave an annoyed snarl, looking about ready to try and choke the annoying Draconequus with the cuffs linking her front hooves. Impressively, that involved getting them out from behind her back without unlocking them.

“Um...” Fluttershy interjected, the shy pegasus quickly coming between her friends. “Sorry, Rainbow Dash but...Discord is really telling the truth this time...um...I was visiting him at his house last night; his pet caught a cold...”

Discord nodded, giving a concerned expression that Rainbow Dash was honestly uncertain if it was genuine or not, though Fluttershy seemed convinced. He also produced a framed, heart shaped picture of a strange green cube with animane style eyes. “Indeed, poor Fluffy the Slime Cube was very ill! I needed my good friend Fluttershy to pay a visit and make him well again!”

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. “You have a pet slime cube?”

“Yes, you see I was playing Manecraft, sneezed, and there he was.”

“Yes...And this morning Ditzy told me what happened and the guards asked me...um...if you were here,” their cream colored friend explained with her typical timid manner. Rainbow Dash always found it weird when she and Discord were together. Every time the other started talking gave her whiplash. “I asked Discord to help me and the girls find you since he'd already come home for breakfast,” she replied, giving a smile that Discord seemed to return.

The rainbow maned pegasus gave an annoyed sigh. “Then if you didn't do it, can you make yourself useful and tell me who did?!”

Discord shrugged his shoulders as if he didn't know the answer to a trivia question rather than who framed an innocent pony. “Don't know.”

“What do you mean you don't know?!” Rainbow Dash spat, using her unbound wings to get in his face. “You sure found out a ton about us easy enough, ya high and mighty stalker!”

Discord merely put a finger on the pegasus' head and pushed her lightly back down with a cartoony sound effect. “I could waste your time explaining the fine nuances of chaos magic, but even assuming I could just snap my figures and get you the name, it wouldn't be of much help.”

“And what is THAT supposed to mean?!”

Discord cleared his throat, suddenly dressed in female teacher's attire. He also produced a screen and an old fashion projector. Though the only thing it was presently being used for was projecting cute pictures of himself and Fluttershy on a picnic.

“Quite simple, my dear Rainbow Dash. I'm Discord, as you are aware.”

The rainbow maned pegasus rolled her eyes in annoyance. “Yeah, I know.”

“As in the Spirit of Chaos, who most of Equestria's reaction to finding out was free was 'what the Tartarus was Celestia thinking?!'”

“Can't say I blame them.”

Discord smirked. “And that is exactly my point. Ponies. Don't. Trust. Me.”

Rainbow Dash blinked, feeling like she'd just bitten a hook. “Yeah...so?”

“That means that any evidence I got you would automatically be untrustworthy because it came from someone who the entirety of Equestria, to quote dear Applejack, 'trusts as much as a fox in the hen house,'” the personification of Chaos explained, vanishing and reappearing as a fox with its head poking out of a comically tiny hen house. “So my help would be counterproductive at best.”

Rainbow Dash raised her bound hooves to retort...then grumbled. As much as she hated to admit it...Discord was right. Fluttershy was probably the only pony in the entire country that actually trusted the lunatic. Rainbow Dash personally thought her old friend was putting WAY too much trust in the guy who emotionally broke and brainwashed them then conquered and tormented Equestria.

The mare's reaction to this was what one would expect of her: introducing the floor to her forehead in the loudest fashion she could.

“Um...” Fluttershy said politely, fluttering up to her friend. “Discord, can at least get rid of the hoofcuffs? Please?”

The former evil overlord looked into his best friend's puppy dog eyes. 'Great, now I have to cure myself of diabetes...again...I really need to filter which puns I choose to do literally...'

“Alright, Fluttershy, only because you asked,” Discord replied, snapping his fingers and causing Rainbow Dash's hoofcuffs to turn to zap apple flavored rock candy and shatter.

The rainbow maned pegasus suddenly found herself facing Fluttershy's cuteness, and likewise gave a sigh. “...Thank you, Discord...” she muttered begrudgingly.

“You're quite welcome Rainbow Dash, always a pleasure to help out,” Discord stated, creating a fez for the sole purpose of tipping it. He then filled it with cheese and ate it. “Well I have to go, it's time to feed Fluffy,” he said, stretching his arm into the kitchen and grabbing a filled trash bag. “Toodles!” he said, giving Fluttershy a hug before riding out the window on a wireless vacuum.

The moment Discord was out of the room, the closet door swung open.

Rainbow Dash jumped a couple hooves in the air, half expecting a platoon of Guard Ponies to come marching out with spears drawn given how her luck had been going, but to her surprise it wasn't an entirely unpleasant.

“Applejack, can you be a dear and remove your posterior from my neck?”

“Oh, sorry Rare!”

“Can you BOTH get off of me? You're hurting my wings!”

“Dog Pile!”

“Oof!”

“Girls?” Rainbow Dash asked, blinking in surprise at the four ponies piled up in front of her. “Uh...why were you in the closet?”

Twilight gave an annoyed sigh. “When Fluttershy asked Discord to help find you, we ended up on a beach outside of an ice cream factory, and then we were somehow in here.”

“Where is that sidewinder anyway?” Applejack asked in annoyance, the orange Earth Pony looking around nervously as she forced her way out of the pony dogpile.

“He left because apparently he's too untrustworthy for anypony to believe us if we use anything he got,” Rainbow complained with a sigh.

“...Can't say he ain't right...” the orange Earth Pony admitted, rubbing her head. Rarity politely floated her back her hat, which had been knocked off in the fall out of the closet.

“Yeah...” the Rainbow maned Pegasus replied with a sigh, pinning her ears as it finally sunk in what had happened and the adrenaline rush faded. “...But what now?! My life is practically ruined!”

“Rainbow, darling,” Rarity replied, giving her downtrodden friend a sympathetic look. “Can you please explain what is going on? All we know is that the guard is was looking for you and were quite upset last night...”

The pegasus mare gave sad sigh. “...Fine, I guess I can explain...”

---

“You what?!” everypony in the room who wasn't named Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

“Uh...ran from the Guard Detective...I'm guessing that wasn't the brightest idea...” Rainbow Dash replied sheepishly.

“About as bright as a black cat at midnight,” Applejack said bluntly, raising an eyebrow. “Why did ya-”

“You girls ran when Trixie got framed by Rough Diamonds! Why am I getting grief for doing the same thing?!”

“Yeah, but that was different,” the farmer replied. “We knew it wouldn't be long before Rough Diamonds moved on and we had to get out of there and look for the truth before it was too late...This isn't the same thing...”

“...Then do you think I actually did this?” the hurting pegasus asked, looking down sadly.

“Of course not!” Fluttershy gasped in shock.

“Yes, darling you might be brash, a little abrasive, and have a large ego, but you're no vandal,” Rarity replied. “If you say you didn't do it, then we trust you.”

Applejack gave a nod. “Darn right. Ah was just sayin' we can't help ya in the same way we helped Trix. Not that we didn't believe yah or want tah help.”

Rainbow Dash couldn't help giving a smile. “T-Thanks girls...”

Twilight's smile turned to a concerned look. “But still, Rainbow what were you thinking? You're reckless, but you're smarter than this.”

The poor mare's face fell. She looked around at the concerned looks of her friends and realized they weren't going to let this go. She'd spent a lot of brainpower leaving out that little detail, but there was no hiding it now. “I was...I was thinking...That I didn't want to be arrested on top of...” the rainbow maned pegasus looked down sadly. “...The news I got...”

“Rainbow Dash, if something is wrong...well, something other than the fact you've been framed, you need to tell us darling...” Rarity replied carefully, putting a hoof on her shoulder. “Especially if it might be connected to this mess.”

“It's...I...” The mare finally gave a sad almost broken sigh. “I...I got a letter from the Wonderbolts...” she produced the letter and hoofed it over to the group. “It...it...” the pegasus' eyes teared up a little. “It said I wasn't allowed in the Wonderbolts because of I'm the stupid Element of Loyalty!” she spat out, the events she'd been through in the past day finally proving too much. It took all the will power she had left not to break down crying. “They 'don't want to risk me' or some horseapples!”

The thing she'd worked for her entire life and she gets a letter banning her from it? For something that was in no way her fault? No one in the room blamed her for shedding some tears and showing some anger.

Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie being...Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, hugged their friend as her ordeal took their toll on her.

“Why?! Why is my bucking life going to Tartarus today?! What did I do wrong?!”

The rest of the group joined in the hug...

“...What did I do wrong?”

Twilight gave her friend a sympathetic nuzzle. “You didn't do anything wrong, this is just bad luck, you didn't ask to be a Bearer,” she consoled...then blinked. “Wait a minute...” she muttered, taking a look at the letter. “Rainbow...this letter makes no sense.”

The mare blinked. “It doesn't?...I mean of course it doesn't!” Rainbow Dash quickly rubbed her eyes to try and reclaim her tough girl appearance. “I'm too awesome for them to turn me down like that!”

Twilight sighed, rolling her eyes. “What I meant is it makes no sense logically. Spitfire has known from day one that you're an Element of Harmony. If there was any problem with you being Element of Loyalty and a Wonderbolt, why would she have even let you into the Wonderbolts Academy? And the Equestria Guard isn't sheltering the rest of us or making Fluttershy move from the edge of the most dangerous place in Equestria. I think Celestia DISCOURAGES that. It makes no sense.”

Rainbow Dash blinked, letting what her friend just said sink in. “...Yeah...you're right!”

Twilight was about to reply when Pinkie Pie peaked over her shoulder and snatched the letter. “Pinkie!”

“Huh...this isn't Spitfire's writing...”

The lavender Alicorn blinked. “What?”

Pinkie Pie pulled a Wonderbolts' poster from behind her back. At the bottom was written 'To Rainbow Dash, keep flying!' with Spitfire's signature below it.

Rainbow Dash blinked, looking at the poster for a second before her eyes went wide. “Is that one of the posters from my house?!”

The pink party pony gave a happy grin. “Yep!”

Equestria's fourth Princess, however, took the poster and compared the two signatures. “You're right Pinkie! This isn't Spitfire's signature! It's forged! You can tell because-”

“Twili, don't go into lecture mode right now, we don't have time tah waste,” Applejack interjected before a soapbox summoning lecture could start.

Twilight blushed a little. “Short version, Pinkie's correct, this signature IS a fake...Pinkie, how did you...”

“Oh! I saw that poster at Dashie's house and remembered what it looked like!”

“...You remembered the writing on a poster that you'd only seen a few times so accurately that you can tell a forgery from the real thing?”

“Yep! I remember everything about my friends!”

Applejack gave a somewhat disturbed look. “...Sugarcube...do ya remember all our houses like that?”

The pink Earth Pony gave an entirely innocent grin. “Yep!”

“Okay, enough about Pinkie's freaky photographic memory!” Rainbow Dash interrupted, flying over. “If Spitfire never signed that, who did?! Am I still able to be a Wonderbolt?!” she asked Twilight frantically.

Twilight gave a comforting smile. “If this isn't Spitfire's signature, then there's nothing stopping you.”

Rainbow Dash gave a relieved sigh, wiping her brow. “Thank Celestia...”

The lavender Alicorn scratched her chin. “But that doesn't answer the question of who actually forged this.”

“Ah bet whatever snake framed ya is the same one who wrote this,” Applejack replied, giving a glare at the letter. If there was one thing an Apple couldn't tolerate, it was hurting her family. And her friends were honorary family.

“Oh!” their pink party pony interjected. “Maybe it's an evil twin of you named Wob Niar!” she stated, completely and utterly seriously.

Rainbow Dash raised her eyebrow. “...Or it could be Changelings...”

“...Nah, that's WAY too simple.”

“Chrysalis and her Changelings are still locked up tight in their own castle,” Twilight replied, resting her chin on her hoof in thought. “And Chrysalis is normally much more...grandiose in her plans. She's a vindictive psychopath, but her last revenge plan was to lure us literally to the edge of Equestria to kill us all during the passing of a magic boosting comet. This seems too petty, even for her.”

“...I hate it when the easy answers aren't the right ones...What about-”

“King Sombra's dead.”

“Oh yeah, right...The Flim Flam Brothers?”

“They don't really hate ya so much as meh, Rainbow.”

“Dang it!...We're out of enemies!”

“Um, darlings,” Rarity interjected, daintily clearing her throat. “Perhaps we should actually investigate before we jump to conclusions?”

“Oh yeah...Twilight, pardon me or something so I can go track down this jerk!” the pegasus pleaded with the fourth Princess of Equestria.

“I could have gotten you a respite to do that, if you hadn't ran from the guard,” the lavender Alicorn replied, flatly. “And if Discord decided to be...Discord and teleport you to us instead of us to you, so I'm a suspect. Princess Celestia made it so royalty are not given special privilege in matters like this so royals can't abuse the system. Considering how snooty some royals can be, I can't blame her.”

“Oh...can you get your brother to-”

“Shining isn't Captain of the Guard anymore, it'd have been too much of a hassle for him to do the job all the way from the Crystal Empire.”

“Buck!” Rainbow Dash gave a downtrodden, frustrated sigh. “What CAN we do?”

“I'd suggest you hide while we search, but...if they're fast enough to pose as you, you're the only one who could reliably catch them...” she looked at her wings. “I'm still learning to fly.”

“Oh! Maybe Twilight could use a spell to summon the best lawyer in the universe to defend you?” Pinkie Pie asked in a cheerful, but entirely sincere tone.

“Sorry, I don't know a spell for that Pinkie.”

“Oh...”

“I believe the obvious solution,” Rarity interjected. “Is a disguise. That way she can go about freely to solve this horrid mystery. And look fabulous doing it.”

“Hmm...alright, I'm down with that...but I'm NOT dressing all froufrou and fancy, okay?” Rainbow Dash grumbled. There were no objections.

Their fashionable friend gave a smile. “Good, now let's see...” she muttered, peering around. She then gave a horrified gasp. “Oh no! Every type of fabric here clashes horribly with her fur and mane! I thought you had more design sense than this, Fluttershy!”

“Um...I wanted to make Discord more comfortable when he visited so I let him do a little redecorating...”

“...That explains it...” the mare replied flatly.

“What's the big deal?” Applejack questioned. “So she clashes, the point ain't for her tah look pretty, Rare.”

“Oh but you don't understand, darling! If it clashes with her fur or mane, then it makes those traits STAND OUT! Which works with certain looks, but in this case is the LAST thing we want!”

“...That...kinda makes sense.”

Twilight facehoofed. “And our houses are probably going to be staked out because somepony helped Rainbow and we're the main suspects, so getting to the boutique isn't an option...”

“Can't Discord even help me without making me miserable?!” Rainbow Dash complained bitterly.

“Um...excuse me?”

Fluttershy looked to the rest of the group. “Um...so...the disguise...it should be something that covers up anything that looks like Rainbow Dash?”

“Yes.”

“And it should be something no pony would think is her?”

Twilight nodded. “That's the idea of a disguise.”

“Well...I-I might have something...but I don't think Rainbow Dash is going to like it...”

The cream colored Pegasus trotted timidly over to a closet and rummaged a bit, emerging with a sight that made Rainbow give a small growl.

The familiar suit was primarily purple, with a dark blue mask, cape, and boots. There was also a purple and dark blue hat, the mask having light blue lenses to hide the eyes. The part were the cape was hooked up had a large blue M insignia.

“Fluttershy! Why do you still have that?!”

The Pegasus whimpered. “Um...well...Rarity worked so very hard on the costumes...I thought it'd be mean to throw it out, even if we didn't use it anymore...”

Rarity gave a touched smile. “Why Fluttershy, that's so sweet of you...” The fashion savvy pony blinked at Rainbow's resulting expression. “What? I did put a lot of hard work into those suits. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find a breathable fabric that's this fashionable but can withstand super-heroics without tearing? Or worse, stretching out of place?!”

“Uh...”

“Very!...But I made it work.”

“Fine, it was hard work, look,” Rainbow snarled, giving a glare. “I know I screwed up letting my ego get the better of me. I bucking needed a reality check to wake me up, I get it.”

“Not everybrony agrees with that...” Pinkie Pie muttered, several stories that only made sense to her flashing in her mind.

“But you know how I feel about the bucking Mare-Do-Well!”

“Rainbow...I hate to say it, but Fluttershy's idea is actually brilliant...” Twilight suggested thoughtfully.

“What?!”

“It is?” Fluttershy asked in humble confusion.

“Hear me out! Everypony knows that you and the 'Mare-Do-Well' were NOT the same pony and that you did NOT get along with 'her'. The idea that you would put on the suit for ANY reason is ridiculous.”

“You got that right!”

“But that's why it's brilliant. No pony would suspect it. It's a perfect disguise. That and Mare-Do-Well was well a superhero, so 'her' investigating a crime wouldn't make anypony bat an eye.”

Rainbow raised a hoof to try and give a counterargument...but found herself stumped. “That...actually makes a ton of sense...But I still don't like it...”

“'But you get to be a superhero, isn't that awesome?!” asked Pinkie Pie, giving a smile.

“Okay...I kinda like the sound of that...”

Before the conversation could continue, Angel bunny jumped on Fluttershy's back, pointing out the window. The group looked out the window and saw several golden armored guards trotting up towards the cottage.

“See?! I told you they'd stake out our houses!”

Applejack threw the Mare-Do-Well costume to Rainbow Dash. “Twilight can teleport you out of here, get the costume on and we'll meet ya in Cloudsdale afterward, okay?!”

“Uh, okay...I guess...”

“Good!”

In a flash of light, Rainbow Dash was teleported away.

“Alright, Rarity, you tell the guards a cover story,” Twilight commanded. She took the letter and hid it under her wings. “I'll go cross reference this signature and see if I can find out who wrote it. Pinkie, can you go inflate my balloon?”

“Yay! Balloons!”

“Alright girls, let's do this!”

To be Continued

Comments

[lord Martiya]

Rainbow Dash wearing THAT suit... Sadistically awesome. I approve.

[Ri2]

Mare-Do-Well returns!
Also, I want to see more of Discord's pet slime.

[Timmy]

Double reference to a certain crossover coming right up!

[Godiswithus3]

It feels so good to know that Twilight and the others are giving Rainbow Dash plenty of support in her quest to clear her name and catch the culprit.

[son_of_heaven176]

This chapter makes up for the faults of the previous one quite well (but the errors should still be fixed nonetheless). Now let's see where this mystery will go...

[Ughlee]

OBJECTION! THAT WAS THE WRIGHT REFERENCE