Mare-Do-Well vs the Rainbow Menace

by Godzillawolf

Chapter 4

Rainbow Dash watched closely as Private Eye give an annoyed sigh at their quarry's escape. She cursed to herself, hoping that this nightmare would have been over already.

The masked mare took a defensive stance as the detective came over. 'This again?'

“Relax,” the detective replied, holding up a hoof. “'Guard protocol: if on an case ya end up working with a superhero, pith helmet wearing adventurer, or so on treat 'em with respect if ya can confirm they're actually that and not hurtin' any pony for no reason.' You just helped save a gal from the gal I'm huntin', so we're on the same team.”

“That's...oddly specific...” Mare-Do-Well replied in the 'ominous superhero voice'.

“Princess Celestia wrote the guard manual, what can I say?”

“That explains a lot,” the masked mare added, unsure if such a rule was an example of Celestia's being crazy prepared or a troll. 'Well at least that explains why Mayor Mare took Mare-Do-Well so well...'

“Yeah, the Princess had a couple thousand years to think on the rule books I guess...Mare-Do-Well, right?”

Rainbow wasn't sure what to think about that one. “Uh...yeah. How do you...”

“Simple really, Guard keeps tabs on superhero sightings. Makes the whole 'is this pony on our side?' jazz easier. That whole 'fight between heroes' horseapples just gets in the way, least that's Princess Celestia's explanation for it.”

“...Huh...you are admittedly a lot more competent than you seem sometimes...”

“Hey, just cause we can't kick Nightmare moon's flank doesn't mean the Guard ain't competent! Who do ya think is responsible for Equestria's low crime rate?”

“Sorry...”

Private Eye gave a growl. “Anyway, point is we're after the same perp so why should I go after you? I'm after Rainbow Dash, not Mare-Do-Well.”

“...Good point.”

“Now, got any clues that I might be able to use?”

The masked pony rubbed her chin, remembered something. She raised a hoof, showing the blue on the bottom. “I think this came off her when I introduced her face to my hoof.”

Private Eye looked closely at her hoof. “Blue fur dye?...Hmm...”

“And I knocked her glasses off with that punch, her eyes are orange.”

The detective produced his note pad and scribbled it down. “I see...Thank ya...Something that might be helpful to ya is there's been robberies at stories around Cloudsdale by our rainbow menace. She stole a lot of paint, probably for more vandalism. She seemed to be looking for cloud adhering paint specifically, so we're guessin' her target will be in Cloudsdale unless she feels like flyin' tah Las Pegasus. And so far all the attacks seem to be targetin' Wonderbolts related stuff.”

“Huh...that might be useful.”

The masked Rainbow Dash looked over her shoulder at Storm Raver as she got up shakily. She was glad she was wearing a mask to cover her smirk.

“Also, she's not the one who did this, but...”

Mare-Do-Well produced the letter she'd received. “Rainbow Dash got this letter from the academy a few days ago, the signature is fake. I suggest talking to Princess Twilight Sparkle about it, she's already did the research...” she whispered. She looked back to Storm Raver. “And I suggest getting a search warrant of her room.”

Private Eye narrowed his eyes, taking the letter and looking at it. He then shot a subtle glare at Storm Raver. “...I see. Alright, will do. Thanks for the help.”

Mare-Do-Well did a salute and flew out the window without another word. “...Why do superhero types always do that?” Private Eye sighed. “...Oh well, got some more clues...And maybe caught a dirty cop.”

The detective put trotted over to Storm Raver and helped her up. “Ya okay?”

“Yeah, that rainbow maned menace gave me some licks, but this old mare's tough...” the Wonderbolt said, giving a smirk and trying to look tough.

Private Eye gave a quick look over the mare. Eyes falling on the wrinkles on her face. The gray hairs dotting her mane. “Ya sure?” he asked, keeping an analytical eye on her face and posture.

“Yeah, just a little sore,” Storm Raver replied, stretching her wings and back, several cracks sounding. She gave an irritated sigh.

Private Eye noticed her groan and rub her wings, rolling it with a crack. “...Did your wings get hit?”

“Oh! Yeah! That's right, I believe so...”

The Guard Detective noticed an eye twitch at his question. “...Alright then...need help to the infirmary?”

“No, I'll be fine.”

“Then mind if I follow ya to keep an eye on ya?”
---

Twilight looked up at Rainbow and waved her in. “What happened?!”

“I fought the fake, she got away but I figured a few things out,” she explained landing with a pride her friends were admittedly happy to see back on her after her breakdown at the cottage.

“Well?” Applejack questioned, cocking her head. “What is it?”

Mare-Do-Well showed the blue dye on her hoof. “Looks like Miss Fake isn't a natural cyan. And she doesn't have my epic rose colored eyes. They're orange.”

“Orange eyes?” asked Pinkie Pie with a gasp. “Is it Tic Tac Toe?”

“Who?”

“What about Parasol?”

“I...Don't know who that is...”

“Hula Hula?!”

“Pinkie Pi-”

“Derpy?!”

“Okay, her I know, but no...though she was looking at me weird yesterday...”

“What about-”

Applejack put a hoof to Pinkie's mouth but the pink pony just kept listing off names in a mumbling fashion. “Uh, Sugarcube, Derpy kinda looks at everypony weird...”

“Wait, so different fur color and different eye color? So it's not Storm Raver?” Twilight asked, the lavender Alicorn lifting an eyebrow. After all, Storm Raver was the same color as Rainbow...

“No, the faker attacked Storm Raver,” Rainbow Dash snarled. “But she was the one that screwed me over with the letter. And it looks like she screwed Lightning Dust over too.”

“Lightning Dust?” Rarity asked. “That brute that nearly killed us all?”

“Uh, Rainbow kinda made the tornado with her,” Applejack politely added.

“...Thanks for reminding me about that, AJ,” Rainbow snarked, giving a deadpan look beneath her mask.

“...Are you being serious or not, Dashie? It's kinda hard to tell with that mask on,” Pinkie asked, hopping over and looking over the featureless face mask intently.

“...Can we get back to the whole 'I'm framed thing?'” the Mare-Do-Well asked flatly.

“Still can't tell.”

“UGH!” the circle of friends were treated to the rare sight of a superhero facehoofing.

“Oh! Now I get it!”

Twilight put a contemplative hoof to her chin. “So...the impostor Rainbow Dash isn't naturally cyan furred and has orange eyes...”

“If nothing else this confirms who the imposter isn't,” Rarity pointed out. “The question now is how we go about ending this dreadful mess?”

“Well I chatted with that Guard Detective, he said Miss Fake snatched some paint that you use on clouds, so her next target has to be in Cloudsdale, and her targets are all Wonderbolts stuff,” Rainbow explained. “So I say we figure out where she'll strike next and set an ambush for that phony!”

Twilight blinked as she found everypony's eyes on her. “What?”

“You're Twilight, we need a plan...” Rainbow replied simply.

“...Valid point.”

Rainbow Dash nodded, then noticed something. “Oh! And I also kinda told him to talk to you about Storm Raver.”

“Okay, that makes sense...Wait, what?!”

“Here he comes! I'll take a look around!” Mare-Do-Well replied, practically throwing her the folder with Storm Raver's profile and taking off.

Twilight groaned, facehoofing. “Why didn't she think to actually ask me first?!”

“Because she's Rainbow Dash?” Applejack remarked.

“...I guess we'll just roll with it...”

Private Eye tipped his fedora as he trotted over with a couple pegasus guards flanking him now. “Princess, glad to see ya again. A bit better terms this time I hope.”

“Hello...Detective Private Eye, was it?”

“That's me,” the detective replied, showing the letter that Mare-Do-Well had shown him. “The Mare-Do-Well handed me this and said you already did the leg work. Mind telling me what ya figured out?”

Twilight calmed herself. “Yes,” she replied, showing the folder. “She showed me the letter earlier as well and I cross referenced the signature,” she compared the sample of Storm Raver's signature to that on the letter. “Look here, it's not Spitfire's writing.”

Private Eye analyzed the two, looking back and forth. “Yeah, it is. The t, r, and e are almost identical to Storm Raver's.”

“Yeah...how did you notice so quick?”

The guard detective pointed to his Cutie Mark. “Special talent. I'm good at pickin' up little details.”

Twilight nodded carefully, though felt a little nervous. 'Like tells...' she thought, admittedly nervous about that.

“Well, if nothin' else this'll get Storm Raver on a count of forgery and impersonating a higher ranked officer,” Private Eye remarked, putting the evidence in his pocket. He snorted hot air out his nose. “I hate ponies who abuse their authority. Give the rest of us a bad name.”

“My brother isn't too fond of them either,” the Princess replied. “Prince Shining Armor, heard of him?”

“Ah yeah, lucky stallion. Princess Cadence is quite the catch,” the detective gave a smirk. “Anyway, now Mare-Do-Well also told me to go search Storm Raver's room for evidence, but I need a search warrant for that...now if only there was a Princess conveniently nearby to give me one here and now instead of me needin' to go find a judge...”

Rarity blinked. “Twilight can do that?”

“...Yes, I can, so long as I have enough proof to justify it,” said Twilight, teleporting in a paper and filling it out before passing it to Private Eye. “You have my full permission to search her office, Guard Detective Private Eye.”

“Welcome Princess,” the detective replied. “Now...technically speakin', this doesn't absolve Rainbow Dash. If anything, it gives her a motive. And unfortunately what evidence I do have supporting her bein' framed is second hoof from somepony I can't contact easily.”

“...Ah thought that was bein' too easily,” Applejack sighed in annoyance.

“But that don't mean I gotta hold you five prisoner, or stop ya from investigatin' on your own. Keep up the good work and have a good day,” Private Eye replied, tipping his hat.

Pinkie Pie blinked in confusion. “Wait, you're actually being reasonable?!”

The detective titled his head in confusion. “Uh...yeah...”

“But you're the investigator in a mystery story involving framing! That's not how it works!”

He simply stared for a few moments before shaking his head. For some reason this pony tended to make his brain want to crash trying to figure her out. “Uh...I think ya may have read too many mystery novels...though given I like to dress up like Bit Tracy, I'm probably the pot callin' the kettle black...Anyway, see ya later.”

Pinkie watched the detective and the guards leave. She took out a book called 'List of Mystery Cliches.' “But it says right here 'any non-protagonist investigator on the case the protagonist is the prime suspect for must be unreasonable and a hindrance to the protagonist's attempts to clear their name!'”

The pink party pony blinked, having attracted a lot of stares. “What, it's in the rulebook!”

“...Where did yah even get a book like that?”

“Oh...well...that's a surprise...” Pinkie Pie put the book back in wrapping paper that she'd seemingly ripped it out of, put a 'Happy Hearth's Warming Twilight' tag back on it, and somehow made it vanish behind her back.

“Right...Moving on...” Twilight said, raising an eyebrow. “We need to find out a way to catch the impostor or at least get enough proof to show it is a fake...Even if I have a good idea who the impostor is now-”

“Oh! Is it Ditzy Do?!”

“...Pinkie, that's just Derpy's other name.”

“Oh...right...”

“Did somepony call me?” asked the gray colored pegasus, standing on a cloud nearby....upside down for some reason.

“Um...nothing Derpy...” Twilight replied.

“Okay Princess Twilight!” the wall eyed pegasus replied, flying off.

“As I was sayi-” Twilight continued, but was interrupted by a crash nearby.

“I'm okay!” Derpy's voice called.

“...Did yah ever notice how Derpy seems to be everywhere we go?” Applejack asked, rubbing her head. “Just kinda...there? It's kinda weird...”

Twilight Sparkle cleared her throat. “...As I was saying, even if I have a decent idea who the fake Rainbow Dash is now, we need a plan to catch her.” Twilight put a hoof to her chin thoughtfully. “...The targets have so far have been Cloudsdale itself, then the Wonderbolts Academy itself, and according to the Detective, targeting the Wonderbolts in particular...The question is why...”

“...This is Rainbow's hometown,” Fluttershy volunteered. “Um...is that helpful?”

“Perhaps...Fluttershy, was that main street Cloudsdale where the first vandalism happened?”

“Um...yes...”

“...So major landmarks of Cloudsdale...And Rainbow Dash did say that they were all Wonderbolts related targets so that elminates any non-Wonderbolt related ones...But where will they hit next?”

Pinkie tapped her chin. “Hmm...if I were a meanie pants vandal, where would I go next?”

The purple Alicorn blinked, gears turning in her head. “...Wait...Pinkie that's it!”

“Thank you!...What'd I do?”

“You already gave the answer earlier!” Twilight replied. “Come on, I need to go talk to Spitfire.”

---

Private Eye searched through the desks in Storm Raver's office, his guards still with him. “What's this?” he asked, picking up the letters Rainbow had seen before from there. “...Well that seals it...”

His eyes scanned the room and fell on the awards on the wall.

“What the Tartarus?” asked a voice.

Private Eye turned to see Storm Raver glaring at him, bandaged up from the attack she'd received. “Hello, Storm Raver. Guard Detective Private Eye,” he replied, tipping his hat. “Remember me?”

“Yes, now what are you doing in my office?” the Bolt demanded, giving a glare.

“I think the better question Miss, is what are these is doin' in your office,” the guard detective smirked, holding up the letters.

Storm Raver's eyes widened and she took a step back. “Well...it's my department.”

“True, but,” Private Eye held up the letter Rainbow had received. “If this letter from Spitfire was already sent, that means ya shoulda sent 'em on to her by now.”

Storm Raver started to sweat. “Uh...well...those are...copies...”

“Really? Then how about we trot down to Spitfire's office and ask her face to face?”

Storm Raver's ears pinned. “I...uh...Well...I...You see...”

“...You were the previous holder those records those two broke, weren't ya? And those wings of yours, they didn't get roughed up in that fight, am I right? That's old age doin' a number on your joints. When your records got broken, you got bitter. You got jealous. You couldn't take the new girls throwing you out of your spot. So you decided to get a little payback...”

The pegasus sweated much more heavily before she finally spread her wings to run for it, but the Guards with Private Eye caught her by the tail and pulled her into a restraining hold.

“Storm Raver, you're under arrest for forgery and impersonatin' a higher ranked officer than yourself,” the Guard Detective replied, pulling out hoof cuffs.

“Uh, sir, was the dramatic summation thing necessary?” one of the guards questioned. "All you had to do was tell her why she's being arrested..."

“...Probably not...but it's fun.”

---

“Those records were mine! What was I supposed to do? Let some stupid brats have them? No way!” Storm Raver asked as they trotted through the building to the front entrance.

“Sorry, Raver, I work in the shadows so that ain't mah thing. The judge might understand ya better,” Private Eye retorted. “All I know is you gave a couple rookies a rough deal they didn't deserve, so I'm taking you in.”

“...You don't know what old age is like...you wouldn't understand...”

“...No, I guess I wouldn't...but I know these young kids probably looked up to ya. Keyword is LOOKED. Ya still had their respect, now ya lost it...and any I mighta had for ya as another member of Equestria's defense forces.”

Storm Raver actually looked down at that.

Mare-Do-Well chuckled, watching from a nearby cloud as Storm Raver was lead out of the place. True, she wasn't the fake Rainbow Dash...but she'd still tried to screw Rainbow over and try to ruin her dreams after all.

She noticed Storm Raver's gaze happen to land on her. Rainbow Dash gave it a little thought and a sly thought formed in her mind.

Mare-Do-Well thought back to the last time she'd seen Storm Waver before today, took the best approximation of the pose she'd had that day and did a simple, quick wave with one hoof.

Storm Raver seemed confused for a moment...before her eyes widened in recognition.

The dirty bolt had been rescued by the Mare-Do-Well and saw the impostor at the same exact time, with lots of witnesses. It didn't take Twilight Sparkle to figure out that meant she couldn't reveal Mare-Do-Well was Rainbow Dash without absolving the rainbow mared pegasus of being the vandal. If she told, then Rainbow was absolved, if she didn't, Rainbow got a last laugh on the mare who tried to hurt her. And since when had Rainbow not been one to brag when she thought she could get away with it?

With that, Rainbow Dash spread her wings and took off to go rendezvous with Twilight.

---

Cloudsdale Stadium was most well known for being the place that held the Best Young Flyer's Competition every year with the Wonderbolts themselves overseeing it. But it was also a frequent spot for Wonderbolt performances. One had been a show planned for later this week, which was set to go on even with the vandalism and mutterings it'd be canceled. But the Wonderbolts weren't known for being quitters and announced they'd carry on.

A rainbow colored blur flew by overhead late at night, giving a growl as she stared down at the stadium. She looked back to her saddle bags, opening them to reveal several cans of paint.

In a flash, the blur flew down to the stadium itself, looking around carefully. No guards. No anything. Just the birds roosting here and there. It was utterly silent.

The fake Rainbow Dash sped down to the floor below, pulling out one of the paint cans and throwing it on the stadium wall leaving a line of red as she flew past it. She pulled out the other colors of the rainbow from her bag and got ready to continue.

Suddenly, a spotlight-like beam fell on her, forcing her to turn. “What?!”

Twilight stood in the stands, a spotlight spell emitting from her horn. “Caught you red hoofed.”

The impostor looked around, seeing Applejack standing nearby with a lasso in hoof. Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity stood nearby. While Rarity projected a spotlight from her own horn, Pinkie snapped a few pictures with a pink camera...that for some reason was modeled after prank novelty glasses.

“Now the Guard can see your Rainbow Dash costume! Isn't that cool!” Pinkie announced, looking closely and making note of the differences herself. Photographic memories came in handy. “Wow, that Cutie Mark is sloppy!”

Rarity blinked. “Where did you get a camera again?”

“I keep them stashed in case of camera emergencies!”

“...In Cloudsdale?”

“Yep!”

A purple and blue blur sped down and landed on one of the pillars in the middle of the stadium, using a hoof to curl her cape in front of her. “Alright, impostor! We've got you now! Give up!” she warned in a deep threatening voice.

Applejack facehoofed. “That voice of hers still sounds dumb...”

The fake seemed to shake with rage. “...You...you...Give me that camera!” she screamed, dashing straight at Pinkie Pie.

Mare-Do-Well intercepted and hit her with a flying kick, knocking her away. “Uh uh, this is between me and you, you faker!”

The imposter snarled in fury. “Get out of my way!”

Twilight used her horn to project a copy of her brother's shield spell around the stadium. “Hurry up! I might be an Alicorn but I'm not my BBBFF!” she exclaimed, cringing. Her brother was Celestia's go to stallion whenever she needed a barrier put up against world threatening calamities.

“Gotcha!” the masked mare replied, doing a backflip and kicking the impostor over her in midair.

The fake Rainbow did a u-turn and slammed into her back, knocking her down until she caught herself with her wings.

“Why are you even doing this?!” Twilight called. “It's over! We caught you in the act!”

“It's all I have!” the imposter yelled, sending a bolt of lightning at Twilight, who managed to shield herself.

Rarity looked to her. “Why don't you just use a spell on her?”

“I'd have to split my magic between the shield and that spell. And Rainbow's fake wouldn't be very good at pretending to be her if she wasn't fast; with them so close I might miss and hit the wrong pony,” Twilight replied. "'Mare-Do-Well' is the only one here fast enough to keep up with her fake.”

Mare-Do-Well cracked her neck. “Fine, if I have to give you a few lumps before you'll cut it out, that's fine by me.”

The two charged one another at breakneck speed. Like two deranged pinballs, they dashed through the sizable stadium, crossing paths again and again at lightning speed. Each pass, one tried to hit the other with a punch, kick, or headbutt, and was either blocked or dodged by their opponent.

Finally, Mare-Do-Well managed to catch her opponent with a punch to the jaw, then a kick to the ribs, but received a knee to the stomach and an overhead blow to the back knocking her down.

She looked up to see the impostor diving down at her with a stomp down on her back and rolled out of the way, industrial clouds stretching from impact but holding.

The masked mare flew up and did a spinning buck, but the other mare ducked it and retaliated with a headbutt she just barely dodged.

The two took off again, flying side by side and trying to punch and kick the other. Rainbow noticed her imposter seemed to not be so much skilled as berserk. 'So she's not a martial artist, doesn't mean she can't hurt me.'

The two veered upwards along the wall, continuing their brawl, both taking punches and kicks from the other. Rainbow's were more well placed, given she had more skill, but her rival seemed to be throwing her's more furiously and rapidly, and with more force.

As the raced along the top of Twilight's shield dome, the two finally connected with the punch to the other's jaw. The fake's glasses went flying to reveal her orange eyes and Rainbow was fairly certain she got a black eye under a cracked visor.

“Just leave me alone!” the fake yelled, flying around Mare-Do-Well and generating lightning clouds in her wake. The masked hero had to rapidly dodge the bolts, no easy feat, and was thankful the suit was durable when a few gave her a nasty shock. “They deserve it! She deserves it!”

The masked mare countered by diving straight down, her opponent following her. 'Okay, she's definitely not playing nice, time for some good old fashion tricks,' Rainbow Dash thought.

She suddenly did a loop, planting her hind legs into the poster's back and knocking her into the wall of the arena.

The impostor countered by snatching some clouds used in stunts and charging them with lightning, giving her superhero opponent a few bad burns. Thankfully Twilight was able to spare some magic and force her to abandon them with a magic beam thanks to the two having some space between them.

The fake dove back down, tackling Mare-Do-Well into the balcony where the Princess would normally sit. “I just want some payback, is that too much to ask?!” she screamed, trying to punch Rainbow's face in.

After a punch put a few more cracks in her visor. The masked hero countered by kicking her in the back and sending her face first into Celestia's throne. “You have serious issues!”

The two took off again, trading blows as they darted through the sky.

“Wow! It's like watching fire flies!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed cheerfully, the two moving so fast all the ponies saw were two colored blurs. Finally both combatants' punches collided and the two jumped backwards again.

The fake snarled and began flying around in a circle, generating a sizable tornado and sending it flying towards the stands.

“Oh not again!” Applejack yelled, using a rope to tie herself and her friends down, but given the building was MADE of clouds, she wasn't sure how well that'd work.

“Girls!” Mare-Do-Well yelled, diving down in front of them. “Here's hoping this works!”

She did her own circular motion and sent a tornado heading the opposite direction, the two colliding.

“Twilight! Hold me in one place!”

Twilight raised a brow but nodded, using her telekinesis to hold Rainbow in place. Rainbow flew forwards against Twilight's telekinesis, flapping her wings faster and faster until it built up completely. “Now!”

Twilight let go and Mare-Do-Well launched forwards at high speed, generating a small Rainboom. The masked mare went straight through the dissipating tornadoes and slammed into her surprised double full speed. The two left an impression in the wall on the other side.

“Ugh...momma I don't want to go to school today...” Rainbow Dash muttered dizzily, seeing stars from the impact as managed to hang on, her now unconscious double falling out of the pony shaped hole in the wall of the building.

“Got her!” Applejack called, using a lasso to catch the defeated impostor and leave her hanging like a caught fish. “And that's why Ah always bring lots of rope.”

Rarity got several banners in her telekinesis to further restrain the impostor, Pinkie Pie using streamers for the same purpose.

Fluttershy flew down and stared intently at the defeated villain's eyes for when they open...and also started treating her wounds.

Rainbow Dash sighed, hanging from the wall of the stadium. “Looks like she crashed and burned!” she snarked...and then collapsed in the stands. “And I am bucking tired...”

Comments

[Godiswithus3]

That sure was an awesome fight between Mare-Do-Well and the Rainbow Menace.

[son_of_heaven176]

Awesome fight. However, IIRC, Private Eye did not have an accent in the earlier chapters. The unexplained change in speaking style is jarring.