- Member Since 4th Dec, 2014
- offline last seen April 5th
YakkoMLP10
You may know me as YakkoWarner20 from Youtube and DeaviantArt. Hope to have fun and hear from all you other broines and pegasisters soon.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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You have my interest in this story so, and I hope that I wont be dissappointed in it.
If you need helpful advice or anything of that sort, feel free to ask me!!!
i wonder if this has sex?
6366421 Why the hell would you think it has sex?
6366449 idk had a funny feeling it would hbu
6366535 I'm still not convinced TBH.
Wait, this has sex in it! Why the hell didn't you warn us?!
pre15.deviantart.net/e9f3/th/pre/i/2015/235/4/2/spike_2_by_hillbe-d96v5np.jpg
Lets get started!
6366421
6367030
Can someone tell me if there's sex in this?
6368222 no sex here
6368222 Who said anything about sex?
6368414
Dunno. Saw it somewhere.
Yes, you did. Seven times, actually.
I vote Pinkie.
6569818 Did you NOT read WHEN you are supposed to vote?
Ah crap. I wanna vote now, since internet at my house will be dead at October 28 to November 2 for me.
Thanks for the chapter btw!
6366113 If I could get your help making the other chapters that would be great.
6570160
You will suffer Yakko's wrath.
Nice knowing yal
6571214 What did he say? I couldn't tell.
6571667
He voted for Applejack.
GAAAHHH!!!
I can't wait two more days!!!
But I wanna respect you, so...
Okay so the concept of Spike getting a month off way down the line and use it to reconnect his friends is something I like, and as long as the sex is well written and given good reason also great. The big immediate concern is that the first actual line for a sexual act is "Spike went in his room and began to beat the meat." You picked one of the least sexy and frankly just generally immature way to describe a guy getting off. I'm a straight guy, and here's the thing, if a guy's gonna get off there's no reason it should be treated differently than a women. Give him a detailed fantasy, show the effect of the pleasure before the orgasm, make his body heat up, deeper breathes, increased heart rate, make it more intense as the fantasy plays out, and finally, there's a reason they call it a climax, it's the most intense and exciting part so make it so. Show the electricity shooting through his body, the pleasure rocking his core, and everything else.
Another serious issue is you have Spike cum to Rarity, and then you jump from him saying they'll only ever be friends to jumping up as he wakes up with a sudden date with Rarity and an intense burning to tell her. This is a massive shift in thinking and needs some emotional conflict and resolution. We need to see what really makes Spike change his mind and why, otherwise you just give us all whiplash.
6574052 Well as I said, it's my first time writing clop, so bare with me. I will study other stories and go back and fix it later.
My vote for Rainbow Dash
I vote for Fluttershy.
I vote applejack
Applejack
Ok everypony. With a whopping 3 votes, Applejack is the next mare.
The next chapter may take some time because I have to help set up a friends wedding. Well, to be more accurate, I have to help their mother set up the wedding.
I promise you will see it before November ends.
I'm so sorry that this story is taking so long to finish guys. Things have been rough for me lately and I haven,t had the time to continue this as much as I would like to. Rest assured, this story will be finished! We've just recently lost 3 co-workers where I work and I have to work later now than I normally would until we get more people to help. I'll still make an effort to have this as my second priority, the first being my job. Once again, I'm sorry, but the next chapter will be done very soon.
What in tarnation ? I gained 20 pounds. . .
Big Mac go get Grannys scatter gun- We're getting hitched.....
After moi after all I saw him first....
me me me me me me me me
the Flutters is going to sing!
I vote Applejack
Pinkie
fluttershy is next
fluttershy
Rainbow Dash
People! Read my notes thoroughly!!!! It says voting isn't until May 20th! Your votes WILL NOT COUNT!
Well to me right now is May 20th so.... Rainbow Dash.
Pinkie
Voting for Fluttershy
Fluttershy
I say fluttershy
fluttershy please
So.............update?
I am in the middle of making the newest chapter as I type this. And yes, Fluttershy got the most votes. I'm surprised that she wasn't the first one chosen though. But I go by the majority of votes. Glad you all like this story for my first sex based one.
7359464 so how's that fluttershy chapter coming?
7572984 It's slowly coming along. I have other things I need to focus on right now. I'm taking classes and working, I try to add more to this story when I get free time. This is not something I'm just not going to ditch.