• Member Since 1st Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Jun 21st, 2016

The Descendant


Thanks, but please don't send me cash "tips." Instead, support this charity: The Fletcher Street Urban Riding Club.

E

Pony Joe awakens before the dawn each morning, readies himself for his day, and then walks through Canterlot's cold and silent streets to his doughnut shop.

Life has become pretty mundane for Joe, but as he serves his customers and chats with his regulars he realizes that he has come to rely on that repetition...he relies on it to keep from remembering.

As a casual utterance by a new customer sends Joe into a spiral of haunting memories we learn about his life...and what he must give up if he wishes to move beyond his past.

Chapters (3)
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Comments ( 357 )

Great story. All I can say really.

Grammar mistakes early on. Other than that, it's not too bad. I like this idea.

Finally i found this story again have to say its one of the reasons i created my account on FIM :pinkiehappy:

I listened to Dark side of the moon while reading this...

BRILLIANT! :pinkiehappy:

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And I thank you for saying it!:pinkiesmile:

25159
Oh, really...I had hoped I'd caught them all.:raritydespair:
I'm glad you liked the idea behind the story. Thank you for reading and commenting.

25183
I'm very happy that I was able to get you interested in fan fiction. Thank you for reading and commenting!:twilightsmile:

25196
Thank you so much!:pinkiesmile:

This was very well written and engaging. This is a prime example of some of the crap that goes on in this fandom. I know, "give the people what they want," but this is brilliantly written, and didn't attract much attention, while some half-assed piece gets thousands of hits because it uses a shipping couple at the height of their popularity. Oh, well. At least know that you've created real literature here.

25941
I thank you very much for you compliment. In the end I can only write the stories that going running around and screaming in my head, and try my hardest to make them work...I'm very glad that you feel that it turned out for the best.:twilightsmile:

As the son of a vet(USMC) a vet (USCG) and the father of a vet (USMC) the only words I can find for this story are. THANK YOU

To any Vet that reads this. THANK YOU !!

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Thank you, sir, for your service...and my thoughts and prayers are with your son and all our Veterans!

I've really, really got to hand it to you. Pardon the pun, but I after reading Tangled up in Blues, i was worried you were going to come off as a one trick pony. Didn't think there was any way to measure up to that level of awesome, i guess. Allow me to swallow my fears and congratulate you though, your consistently amazing stuff continues to draw me in.

I really feel a particular need to mention that I am enamored with your military sense. I've yet to come across someone that manages to sum up all the right parts of the military as well as you do. I've got six years and three tours in, and you absolutely have it pegged. I usually come across any kind of militia or military in a fanfic and groan, because it's predestined to be a parade of hokey tropes, leftover vietnam movie cliches, or piles of overly patriotic drivel. Thanks for filling the void by having characters serving in the military, as opposed to "military characters."

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I can only thank you for your wonderful comments! Actually, no...I can thank you for your years of service to our country. That's probably a lot more important.

I can only say that I do my best, and I try my hardest with each story...I've never "mailed one in". Each is the end result of weeks of planning and pre-writing.

Without getting too specific, even though I myself have never served I come in contact with the personal narratives of those who have on a constant basis. I have so much empathy for those who have chosen to serve, and I chose to give light to that in this story. You can't know how much it means to me that so many service personnel have responded to this story positively. Thank you so much!:twilightsmile:

The climax of the story reminds me powerfully of Harlan Ellison's "Paladin of the Lost Hour", which I intend as the highest of praise. That story is one of the most crushingly emotional I've ever read, and your story touches that same depth of feeling.

I'll be reading the rest of your work, for certain. I hope you keep publishing for a long time to come.

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Thank you so much! I'm very glad that it evocated another powerful work for you, and I of course take it as a compliment.:twilightsheepish:

Oh, don't worry, I'll be writing for some time to come! Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

So glad this is here on FIMfiction so I can favorite it. This story pushed me over the edge and into writing.

Your take on the Guard made me want to explore my own take on Equestria's armed services. Had I not read this over Thanksgiving, there would be no Wild Sky Yonder, and I wouldn't have experienced the joy of reaching out and moving people with my words. Heartfelt thanks, from me and from all of my readers.

War of the Witches? Would those be the Smooze Witches?

305540
You have no idea how much it means to me that my story inspired you to begin writing. I can hardly think of a higher compliment. I hope that you have as much fun and experience as mucg growth in the fan-fic writing hobby as I have! Thank you so much!:twilightsheepish:

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Yup!:raritywink:

Goodness. Cold in Gardez had repeatedly dropped hints for me to read this story, but I didn't until he was off on his deployment. Foolish me.

I'm never going to be able to read about a character named Beanie in the same way again. Joe's collapse was just staggeringly powerful, but I don't want to imply that the enormity of that scene in any way diminished the quieter scenes--the drip drip of the faucet, the brief surge of shame as, covered in powdered sugar, he realized what a fool he had made of himself, and the various ghosts of his past.

I'll admit, the princesses and sugar scene was a bizarre tonal shift in the story, but it was a nice break in the tension at the same time.

Overall, amazing work, and I wish we'd see more stories of this caliber published.

419716
That an author as incredibly talented as Cold in Gardez suggested this story means a lot to me, and I'm especially glad that you found it worthwhile to take his advice!

I had to walk a very fine line, and the tone shifts were all intentional and set up as attempts to draw the story back one way when I had begun to go too far in another direction. Thank you for picking up on that!

Thank you for taking the time to read and reply, I appreciate it!:twilightsmile:

This fic has 75 votes cast upon it. None of them are negative.

I approve, and feel that no one who truly reads this will be able to click the down-vote button in good conscience. You're going on my watch list, damn you.

Good piece, keep the peace.

...Make that 76, as well.

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Thank you very much. I hope I can keep earning such accolades.:twilightsmile:

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Nah, thank you. You're the writer here, after all.

You seem to do pretty well in terms of psychology, though it is a tad on the heavy-handed side every so often. Also, you need a bit of work when it comes to commas, and where to use them. Aside from that, I don't have too much to complain about.

Of course, I'd think that's rather obvious. ^_^

I can only give you applause for adding so much emotion into a background character. It always seems that the ones running the cafes have more stories to tell. Still, that story had a lot of feel to it. Excellent writing. I would favorite it, but I can't be teary eyed all the time. :eeyup:

Who am I kidding. I'll favorite it anyway. :eeyup:

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Writing the stories of background characters kinda became my "thing" here in the fandom. If you liked this story I'd like to suggest Tangled Up in Blues to you as well.

Thank you for saying that my writing was excellent. A lot of people are turned off by my style, and I'm glad you liked it. Thanks for the Fave!:twilightsmile:

560210
I'm crying because he's crying!:raritydespair:

Seriously though, I'm very glad it resonated with you. Thanks for reading and commenting!:twilightsmile:

Well, I bumped this up on my 'to read' list and I am not disappointed in the decision. This is totally not what I expected and am so eternally thankful for it. I don't think I'll look at doughnuts the same ever again.

I do believe I'm going to pause my reading list for a time and slowly make my way through your archives, giving each piece it's due, because clearly it is warranted. Again, thank you for being awesome at what you do.

I had hoped that you would enjoy it! I hope that you find things that you have equally as strong feelings about as you peruse my works. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!:twilightsmile:

Well out of the stories of yours I have read, this is my 2nd favourite, it's nice to see some fics
about characters other than the main 6/ The Princesses.

611063
Thanks! Giving background characters lives of their own is one of my "things", so I'm glad it worked!:twilightsmile:

This is rather well written, and it gives an appropriate and touching treatment to an unquestionably delicate and difficult subject.

You did well.

630857
I'm very glad that you feel I found and appropriate balance. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment!:twilightsmile:

Out of the multitude of stories that I have read, this is the one that has brought tears to my eyes every time that I read it. You have exceptional talent and are a brilliant author.

652635
Thank you so much for the compliments! I try my best, and am very glad that people mostly enjoy my works. I'm very happy that the story is emotionally telling for you. An appropriate read for Memorial Day weekend, eh? Thanks for leaving a comment!:twilightsmile:

Oh wow... this is basically beautiful.

750322
Thank you so much for saying so!:twilightsmile:

Wasn't able to comment on this when I fav'd it earlier as I was reading it on my phone. This story was incredibly well done and it was an interesting take on Pony/Doughnut Joe in general but more than that, the psychological aspect was very intense. A great read and please do keep up the good work!

782986
Thank you! I'm very glad that you enjoyed the take on Joe, as his development was crucial to me. I intend to keep doing my best!:twilightsmile:

"one he was is not sure he recognized entirely"
Possible error, sentence doesn't really make sense.

Good story by the way.

Fantastic, just fantastic.
Your execution was just marvelous and your story just profound.
I thank you for this.

I've been meaning to read your stuff for a while now, T.D., and grammatical issues aside, this was the rare sadfic that actually inspired emotions from me. Great work.

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Thank you for the grammar catch, I'm very appreciative. I'm glad that you feel that the story was well executed, that means a lot to me. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment!:pinkiesmile:

809361

Coming from you, Vim, that means a lot!:twilightsmile:

Brilliant. Simply brilliant. :moustache:

Great story, had me very teary eyed when he talked to the ghost, memory or whatever it was. Really good fic, just the right amount of sad.
And all those small heart warming moments just made the fic so much better, especially the ending with Call.

816379
Thank you so much for saying so. I really wanted this to turn out well, and I'm glad that you feel it pulled all of the right heartstrings. Thanks for reading and commenting!:twilightsmile:

This story's fantastic at getting into the character's head, and making him a reasonable and interesting chap. First rate, deserves to sell a million copies. If you were selling it. In which case it would totally sell that many. On account of it being top-notch.

:fluttercry: honestly, I think I cried hardest when Celestia told him to give her his pain though... I'm not sure why.

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