When they began to read the ancient book Twilight and Spike only had the slightest of ideas what it could possibly be about. As the illuminated inks revealed to them an image of Princess Celestia locked in combat with a massive dragon and his sons they realized that the song written upon the aged pages was telling of a long forgotten battle...
... and that the Celestia they know and love is capable of things they dare not imagine.
Inspired by the image "By Celestia's Might" by John Joseco.
Chapters (1)
DAYUM! Well Done. This is an extremely well written story and I really enjoyed the style. I heartily commend you for this fine piece of writing
Wow, amazing. Though i'm not one who is musically aligned or good at interpereting this format of writing i can appreciate, understand and enjoy what you've made here.
It was powerful, emotive and effective. A few points i had a shiver go down my spine.
Very well done! 5/5
Keep up the good work!
-Melon of Honour
A great story, and something i could really consider to be made by someone of the creators of FiM.
You sir are a great author and prove it again and again with every story you make.
great shit man i loved it and you can have my trees and stuff
gj
5/5
That was great.
Wow. That was incredible. Five stars, without a doubt.
Listen to this while reading story, it add to it i think
ht tp://www.youtube com/watch?v=2dQ5c5SIYnc&feature=related
I like the part where it's suggested the dragons were previously afraid of Luna. Also, possible sequel where they ask either sister about it?
That was amazing. I've said that about all your fics under a few names and realized I never give any feedback.
So here's where you can improve: accounting should be reckoning imo.
That's it.
Damn... please give me a moment while I figure out what to say about how epic this is.
This is probably one of the best characterizations of Her Serene Majesty that I have seen. You showed how powerful she truly is, but that power is tempered by her duty and kindness. She is no tyrant, no dictator, she is protector, a guardian. Epona help you if you harm her little ponies, but will recognize the finial wishes her fallen foes. Thank you for writing and sharing this.
In the Name of Her Serene Majesy,
Celestia's Paladin, For Honor and Duty, For the Sun and Moon
161732
Thank you so much! I really wanted to try something new. I'm s glad that you feel that it worked!
161743
I'm very glad that you understood what I was trying to do with the piece. I really appreciate the compliments!
161768
I'm very glad that you continue to enjoy my stories! I don't know if they're "show creator good", but I appreciate the praise!
161769
Thank you! I'll be sure to take good care of them!
161781
Thank you so much!
161783
I appreciate that, thanks so much!
161840
...
That was a frickin' awesome animated movie. That Smaug was the way I've pictured dragons ever since...
161848
No immediate plans for a sequel, but anything is possible!
161947
That was an excellent suggestion, thank you so much!
It's now "reckoning" both here and on D.A. Now you can say you've co-written a story with me!
162145
I'm very glad that you found my portrayal of Procer Celestia Invictus so appealing. I've always see her as a motherly figure. I do so hope that we get to see her portrayed as a powerful yet loving figure before the series ends (or this Princess Cadence arc destroys the importance of the alicorns). I amvery glad to have shared this story, and thank you for reading and commenting!
That was amazing...I...wow
This makes so much sense
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Their pretty much building it as it goes i would say from all the comments i read from Lauren Faust and heard other say.
So something like this they could have come up with as history of Equestria, just more little kids appropriate
...WOW... that's one epic story!
This is EPIC! LOTR EPIC!
Holy shit !
I saw some good fics before, but this looks more like the kind of thing you would see coming from J. R. R. Tolkien or Arthur C. Clarke books.
Five stars.
That was... wow. An actual, honest-to-Celestia Pony epic. I... am not sure what to say, save that I love it. You've written a great many awesome fics in this fandom, and you're never afraid to try new and sometimes weird things with your writing - and in this case, old and unfashionable, but absolutely amazing. There were a few word choices that bothered me, and a few times where I struggle to fit it to rhythm, but as I am currently hip-deep in Old English, the same goes for Beowulf.
Now that you have managed to compose epic poetry about ponies and make Celestia badass (always a big plus in my book), what will you do next? Revolutionise limericks? An epistolary novel? Oh wait, you kinda already did that. In any case, I am looking forward to your next work.
Five stars. Five, because that's the largest amount the site lets me give.
Not just for the style of writing, though certainly that's deserving of nearly all of them by itself. And not just for the excellent shout outs to the earlier series (my significant other had me watching the original MLP movie just the other day, and I actually laughed out loud the first time you referenced the Witches, nevermind the kind of heartstring wrench that came from the Hydia as Godmother line).
No, five stars because you touched upon the characterization of Celestia that many of us in the fandom seem to be picking up on, despite it only being hinted at in the vaguest sense in the show. And you did it in a way that was vicious and awful, yet beautiful and clean. The divine creature of two sides, so much like the sun herself.
"Beautiful and terrible as the dawn."
Thank you. I had forgotten I could cry from reading things not inherently sad.
i only posted this comment because this story was amazing, and i wanted to try out this face.
I like how you were able to do it in a format similar to Beowulf or other Anglo-Saxon poems. I can imagine it to be a challenge to do it in an Old English format yet still keep it detailed. Well done.
Wow. This is fantastic. I love the resemblance of the saga to old Anglo-Saxon heraldic poetry, and there seems to be a touch of Longfellow in there as well. I also love the theme that Celestia is in fact astonishingly powerful and dangerous, and it is only her innate goodness and empathy that conceals that from her ponies - most of the time. Eeep, poor Spike, reading about that... very scary stuff for a young dragon who very recently went on his own rampage. Twilight must also have a few questions for her mentor. Wonderful work! All my stars!
It was funny how it sounded a lot like a bedtime story for Spike, but ended up being about dragon death. Twilight didn't seem to care either. Poor spike. Dragabuse.
162270
I am very glad you liked it!
162299
Oh good! Ummm... could you explain it to me?
162308
I'd love for them to hire me to do just that!
162356
I'm glad you enjoyed it!
162377
I'm very happy that you put it in such a category as the LOTR. That means a lot to me!
162428
Oh wow, that is some very impressive company to put my humble fic in! Thank you so much!
162765
Thank you so much! The truth is that if I wasn't trying new things I'd probably go insane... or get bored and quit the fandom, which would be far worse.
I'm very glad that you found the outcome of this experiment so satisfying! As for what comes next? Well, I have a big old stack of index cards with ideas here on my desk and stacks of pre-writing to go with them, so one of them. Then again whatever is running around in my brain at any moment may explode as a fic so, in reality, who knows? I'll just keep trying my best!
162999
Thank you. These comments meant a lot to me. My personal fanon has been beaten up by the second season, but I am desperately trying to hold on to my portrayal as Celestia as the loving mother-figure who will do anything to protect her children... even if it involves revealing a far more awesome and terrible (in all meanings of those words) form. As you so deftly quoted, "As beautiful and terrible as the dawn."
I'm glad it caused you to have an emotional response, thank you so much for reading and commenting!
163049
And I'm only replying to your comment here to say "You're awesome!"!
163335
That is exactly what I was going for. It wasn't easy to try to mimic those older forms of verse while keeping this comprehensible. I'm very glad that you feel I pulled it off! Thanks so much!
163386
Yes, those old stories definitely played their part in the formatting and structure of this work. I actually read 'Layamon" by Brut before I wrote this to try to get myself into the right frame of mind!
Thank you so much! I really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment!
163438
Heh, I certainly didn't mean for it to sound that way. Spike certainly relates more to Twilight and Celestia than he does to other dragons, so I don't think he probably felt that way.
Thanks for taking the time to read and comment!
this was epic you need to write more stories
I can't help but ask
Is the name of this taken from The Song of Solomon? Just curious
Man, after reading this bein sent to the moon is the least of my worries.(even though i never relly beleived in the trollestia stuff
)
But seriously, this is an amazing personality history.... whATever thing you put for the princess and her land! i got to say i really liked it. I was planing a quick read at forst... then i was simply drawn in
Once again, you do not disappoint, Descendant of Keh An. Your style of writing is unique and powerful, and very well used in writing an epic. I am very impressed with the depth of mythology you built your stories around, and look forward to watching it grow deeper with each new tale.
Goddesses watch over you,
I'm a sucker for pre-FiM stories. This rings true & would be so cool to see the pages of manuscript.
This is amazing!! I loved the song in that tome-- it had a real authentic feel to it. Question though, did you get this song from anywhere, or did you actually manage to make it up? You write great work, so I honestly wouldn't be surprised if you actually make it from scratch...
163463Because it answers a lot of questions about celestia that I have asked myself. Namely how does she keep other nations at bay, now I know, there all to scared to attack her
Oh man, Witches? And now Hydia? Does this mean that Celestia knew Megan?
Reading this I could only think of the Epic of Gilgamesh and perhaps the tale told of the monster known as Grendel. This tale fits the old epic style perfectly. I loved every moment of this. You are gifted.
163484
Hey, I've already spammed the fandom with 16 stories in 11 months! What more do you want from me!?
Seriously though, I'm glad you liked the story, and I promise to keep doing my best!
163677
Not directly, no, but like the psalms most ancient stories were meant to be told to music. So, like The Song of Solomon I was looking for an alliterative way to capture the title. Nicely interpreted though! Thanks for reading and commenting!
163678
I'm very glad that you found yourself drawn into the work. It means a lot to me! Thanks so much!
163740
Your comment is deeply appreciated. I have a vision, as most writers do, of what I think Equestria looked like in "the times before" and I've been trying ever since Heart of the Mountain to keep it safe as the canon has changed. I promise to keep doing my best and offerring my wonderful readers glimpses of that world!
163767
I am very glad that it works for you. I too love the stories of pre-series Equestria, and I'm glad you found this one so convincing!
163842
Thank you so much! No, I actually wrote the story/song from scratch. I basically determined that each stanza would have seven lines and a central idea and then poured my concept into each. I kept Layamon by Brut (the 15th century account that we know as King Arthur) open on my desktop to refer to stylistically, but it is no way a direct parody or satire.
Thank you so much for the praise of my writing style! I really appreciate you reading and commenting!
163845
...
Aha! Well explained! As others noted above, my vision of Celestia is close to Galadriel from The Lord of the Rings. Very good reasons not to enter her lands unwelcomed indeed...
163948
Heh, no...interesting concept though. I don't see it as a 1-to-1 step from the G1 series, but I began making my fanon back when the series had no good villains outside of Nightmare Moon. I imported the witches more as "earth mothers" than as the humans in G1. I don't know fully what that looks like so I can't explain more, but the Witches in my stories are more a nod to G1 than a direct step. Thanks for reading, I really appreciate it!
164388
John, my friend, it is always good to hear from you. You know, of course, that I have said that the relationship between Twilight and Spike is the most important in the series to me. I'm glad that you feel that I've done it justice once more!
I'm also very glad that you seem to feel that I avoided a lot of the raps I could have fallen in with the story. My early influences were Victorian and Elizabethan stories and epics. Writing from this background has gotten me in trouble at times (The Talk has been accused of being "purple prose")so it makes me very happy that it worked for you here!
I never fail to disappoint! High praise sir, for which I thank you!
164392
I certainly did mean to call back to such epics of old. I'm glad you feel I captured that. Gifted? Well, thank you!
164476
Thank you for writing it and responding to my comments
This story made me a happier person
wow, fantastic job man. too many people underestimate celestia. its a tragedy, really. you've really captured everything she could be and i applaud you for it. especially for this crazy stanza song thing. you rock. take every star that i own. you deserve them.
This was... well.... epic! :D
Another 5, and well-deserved. I've always liked the concept of the earlier MLP series as whitewashed parts of a much darker history, so that's fun, and the vision of that darker history through the lens of an epic poem is perfect.
First stanza: Is reminded of Milton....
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. It was nice to see Celestia being as powerful as I imagine her to be, and after a short while I did get into the style of writing as well, I must admit I can't see how this could ever be sung in any way that I'm familiar with, but it was a rather old way of doing prose so that's not terribly strange.
This time around I have no real criticism, nothing jumped at me. It was, in fact, paced very well and the lore fit. I suppose killing the dragon lord by spearing him with Celestias horn seemed a bit silly, considering not long before you had described it in a sense that made me think her alicorn form is just for show, while her real being is more ethereal. (Or at least that's how I envisioned the "dropped her pretense of flesh" bit. Mind you, I can find plenty of ways to explain that bit anyway, so it's not a big deal at all.)
I can't help but hope that you'll someday describe Twilights power in a more real sense as well, where she have a reason to go all out, and show what it means to be Celestias personal student, you always manage to put a sense of drama into your writing in a way that few others do. I don't always think it fits, I didn't particularly enjoy "The Talk" for example, but when it does fit the overall narrative, it enhances it immensely.
But, I'm mostly rambling now. Lovely store, a perfect five from me.
Oh, right. I'm also Swinter on Deviant Art, if you remember my comment to the rocket sled story.
That isn't a clan of dragons, it is a hydra.
Woohoo! It's fixed!
This was a fantastically-written story. The use of a medieval story-telling style was pure genius, and the descriptive language you used helped to make the story come to life. Every word of the story was drenched in immaculately-detailed imagery that told the story to me in a very believable manner. Even the most bloody scenes seemed immensely beautiful from the way you told them.
On top of this, I actually found myself reading the poem in the voice of Dennis Hopper, with the appropriate backing music to go along with it, which made the story just sound even better.
Overall, this fic had so many descriptive language, imagery, and framing devices that it would make an English teacher faint. Well done. Five stars.
This was a delightful work to read, very reminiscent of the old classics (Rime of the Ancient Mariner, etc.) Truly a masterful blend of storyteling and metrical verse. Massive respect to you, my friend, and one more watcher.
Quite masterful in the art of storytelling. This is something I did not expect to find on here, much less anything else I have been reading so far. I loved your use of the lyrical way of telling a tale, instead of a long drawn out boring story many would have done with the premise. Kudos to you.
Very, very impressive. I won't rant on about the uniqueness of your chosen style (others have done that enough), but rest assured I thought it was done very well and was very effective.
No, what I want to talk about is just how epic you made this. The potential depth of Celestia's character (and just plain awesomeness, if you will excuse the term), is unfathomable. As a result, it leaves me with goosebumps to see fics exploit this wealth of possibility and to see it done well. The little we know about the princesses' pasts leaves a lot to be imagined, and you have woven a fantastic story completing just that.
...Even if it is just a small piece to a much, much larger tapestry.
In short, I loved this story, so thank you. Keep up the amazing work.
D'oh! I forgot to reply to all of these messages!
164588
I'm very glad it did!
165031
Yes, Celestia is awesome! I'm glad you feel I captured her innate awesomeness! Thanks for the stars!
165062
Thank you for saying so!
165336
While I don't know if I'd say "darker" I agree that there's much more going on that we can hint at. Thanks for taking the time to write!
165338
I use a lot of influences. Glad you feel it was "at that level"!
165415
Thanks for taking the time to write such a great message!
I actually didn't write this to be sung as such, but more as an epic poem. I'm glad that you felt it worked either way!
The bit with the horn was meant to be some epic imagery. Sorry if it came off silly. As for her "pretense of flesh" all that I meant to imply is that an alicorn is so far beyond a regular pony that at times they seem supernatural, but I didn't mean to imply true divinity in that sense. I'm glad you're so willing to look at a variety of options when it comes to written ideas. I think that's a sign of an involved reader, thank you so much!
I'd very much like to do a story about how Twilight is special to Celestia. An interesting idea. Thanks for taking the time to write!
165652
John Joseco names them as dragons in the image description, my friend.
166940
Yeah, that was... interesting.
169332
Thank you so much!
I tried very hard to balance the different elements that you mentioned. I'm very glad that you found that they worked well in concert with one another.
The Gorillaz are awesome!
166940
Yeah, that was... interesting.
171324
I'm very glad that you enjoyed it! I did call upon my rather amateur love of such classic literature, and I'm glad that you feel that it "worked". Thanks for the Watch!
182049
I get bored with writing long narratives very easily, so I often try new things. I'm glad you feel that it worked out well! Thanks for reading and commenting!
199503
I am very glad that you feel that I captured something of the "unseen" side of Celestia. From a mythological/ historical perspective she's very important, and I hope we get to see more of her story revealed. I'm glad that you enjoyed the way it was captured her. Thanks so much for reading and commenting!
235927
You're welcome. Please, continue writing. I think I may have to watch you.
It's actually somewhat similar to the opening of one of Milton's sonnets, on his 23rd year. (I think?)
As a poet, I delight when people do things I hadn't anticipated with verse. Verse based off of ponies a strange idea, but the way you've done it, it makes total sense. It's like a ballad I might expect to find in Tolkien or something. :)
235927
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