• Member Since 2nd Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen Jun 21st, 2016

The Descendant

Thanks, but please don't send me cash "tips." Instead, support this charity: The Fletcher Street Urban Riding Club.


After his defeat at the hooves of the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony the stony figure of Discord was dragged far, far, far out of Ponyville where the good ponies could eventually forget the name of their tormentor...


But, it seems, as the months have passed some creature in Ponyville has not been able to put aside what had happened. Now, that creature approaches, and it seems as though he'd like a word with the immortal spirit of chaos...

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 175 )
#1 · Nov 5th, 2011 · · ·

loved it dude. seriously it's pretty rad :rainbowkiss:

I remember reading this when it was featured on EqD.

I was amazed. It was an interesting idea, and the emotions that went through made the story captivating. And the ending...Well. It made me smile all day.

Oh yes, this story. Brilliant. Nothing more I can really say.

Thank you very much for saying so! I'm glad you enjoyed it...:pinkiesmile:...

I am glad that you remember it. I am glad that you appreciated the way I built the emotions...I really wanted to show that Spike is still just a kid, still himself, struggling with something beyond himself. I'm glad you liked the ending as well!:twilightsmile:

Thank you for saying so!:pinkiesmile:

Holy Crap!!! Spike's monologue was beautiful about how he has no ill will toward Discord and how he has nothing but respect for the chaos demon, but at the same time his need to protect his friends and family weigh heavily on his heart. I like the idea of Spike being wise beyond his years and contemplating an out of character murder powered by wrath and logic only to be stopped by the voices of his friends and loved ones. Then there was his final solution to put the god of chaos under the control of chaos and I'm like sold. My god this was wonderful. I imagined Spike as Edward Norton from The 25th Hour, giving his fuck you speech mixed with his tone from The People vs. Larry Fynt.

Oh, wow! I'm very gad you liked it!:pinkiehappy:

I did try very hard to make Spike remain himself while still wrestling with what he feels he needed to do, and how in the end he was stopped from becoming something he is not by the idea of those he loved fearing him. I'm very glad you caught that whole theme. Thank you so much for reading and replying!:twilightsmile:

This is an amazing story. The emotion is great and the ending was perfect :pinkiehappy: . Thats all that i can say for this thats how awed i am.

#8 · Nov 13th, 2011 · · ·

some of the best writing i have seen in quite a while, you really get sucked into
the emotions.

Good job :rainbowkiss:

Thank you so much for saying so!:pinkiesmile:

I tried my best, as I do with all my stories. I'm glad the emotions came through!:twilightsmile:

We can always count on you for at least one semi-obscure, often nautical metaphor can't we? S'cool. I dig it.:eeyup:


Someone award you some epic f***ing reward alright? Alright!

I'm a creature of habit!:twilightsheepish:

Heh...I'll take cash! I'm very glad you've been enjoying my stories.:twilightsmile:

This is a fascinating looks . . . solid four stars.

How you consistently transform a show for little girls into a deep and thought provoking tale is beyond me. This and "The Talk" are two of my favorites, so I would say you have a knack for writing Spike. I respect a lot of authors within the FiM community, but you are someone I would rather like to meet. You seem like a kindred spirit.

I've long believed that there's a touch of the epic in everything, and with this show there's just so much "hidden" below the surface that we can work with. I appreciate that you feel I use Spike well, as I feel that too many people try to make him much older than he is in the series.

Thanks for calling me a "kindred spirit"! Oh, and I'm a jerk in real life...:raritywink:...


I hated the way spike stuttered but I was necessary as for as I can see.

Nothing bad I can really say about this, I hope it gets passed around and others see it.

Thank you for taking the time to read and comment, I really appreciate it!:pinkiesmile:

I was expected Spike:moustache: to be corrupted, but this great too

Just reread this. It's one of my favourite pieces of fiction, and I've read a lot of books. It's the first of your stories I read, and it firmly established you as my favourite author of pony fiction. I'm in the process of reading all your stories, and just wanted to stop and comment to say how awesome you are. The image of Discord, in his stone prison, standing by the pond and with the hammer at his feet. I couldn't get it out of my mind, so I paid for a commission for it, that's how much it caught me. I already showed it to you, but others might want to see it linked to the story: derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/1/24/1994.png
(It's supposed to be some time later, with trees grown around and moss on him)

Thank you for writing beautiful stories.

I think it turned out oaky this way, though I can see why you'd think that. Thanks so much for reading and commenting!:twilightsmile:

That image was my desktop for a good period of time last autumn. I'm very glad that it resonated with you... both way back when and that it still does. I promise to keep doing my best!:pinkiesmile:

Hello, I am a fan of this fic

It was very deep and when I read it a few months back, it actually brought some tears to my eyes. I never thought I would see it here on this site other than EqD. Keep up the good work, Descendant. Your literary pieces are amazing! :pinkiehappy:


Well hello! I'm very glad that you're a fan of this fic!:twilightsheepish:

I'm glad that it was just as good as you remember it being! All of my stories are found here on FIMFiction now and I'd be glad to have your feedback on all of them. Thanks so much for taking the time to read and comment!:twilightsmile::twilightsmile:

That was very powerful. I love the journey of Spike's mind and emotions and how no one is entirely certain if Discord is actually interacting with him. The twist of what seemed to me some sort of ancestral dragon memories was also an excellent storytelling tool. Very nice work!

Thank you so much. I'm happy that I was able to write something that you were able to find so powerful!:twilightsmile:

This just... ugh. I can't get myself into this. Concept is great, but the flow just isn't there. The entire thing feels disjointed to me, and Spike's stuttering does nothing to help the matter. Your description of the scene is amazing, don't get me wrong, but the rest was simply lacking.

Looks like today you're learning that The Descendant isn't the great and flawless author you've been lead to believe he is, huh?:raritywink:

Oh, no, not at all. Pretty much nobody writes amazing stories every single time. Not even Device Heretic can do that (Nocturne, for example). I just didn't like this particular story as much as your others is all.

Dude... this is DEEP :rainbowderp:
and awesome:rainbowkiss:

I'm glad that you saw it as something so worthy of reflection. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment!:twilightsmile:

As usual, the writing style is brilliant. There's enough description for every scene to give the reader a vivid picture of what's currently happening in the story yet it doesn't go overboard to the point where there's too much setup and not enough action. I've always appreciated that about your style and hope I can get myself to do the same... someday... eventually.

What got me here is how dark the story was. It wasn't dark to the point where blood and gore were present at all times but it was more of a psychological dark. The early portion of Spike's one-sided conversation gave him an opportunity to reflect on his viewpoint to how the opening of Season 2 went, something the audience could only guess at considering his presence in that two-parter. Where things turned was when he contemplated about what he was about to do and decided that his guilt wouldn't let him go through with it. Pre-meditated murder is a difficult thing for most characters to engage in, no matter how young or old they are. Whether he should have gone through with it or not, performing the act itself would have been a game-changer for him and seeing him wrestle with the idea made him a bit more grown up than what his age would lead him to believe. It is dark for the sake of character progression as opposed to shock value and it could have easily backfired if not handled carefully. Thankfully, this was as carefully as one could be even if the outcome would have been somewhat predictable.

Looking forward to eventually getting through your library of work.

I've been writing fan-fics for over a decade, so I had a lot of practice before I joined the Pony fandom. You can get to my level (though I suggest you actually try to emulate worthwhile writers, instead) just by being open to criticism and trying to grow with each new experience.

I am very, very happy that you saw the internal conflict that Spike was going through. I'm especially pleased that you felt that I handled it carefully. I'm very intrigued by your idea of "dark", and I shall try to keep my works at that level of engagement. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and comment!:twilightsmile:

Wow, I can tell you I did not expect that for an ending, it turned out FAR better than if he would have simply gone through with it, although that would have been cool too. I do find myself wondering what the consequences of doing so would have been, would it simply have ended Discord's threat, would it have freed him, would it have destroyed all of life as ponies know it... we will never know. I am glad I read Heart of the Mountain before this, just to get some sense of the mythos behind your stories, otherwise I would have been pretty confused. The only thing that still gets me are all the references to these witches, I haven't found that story yet.

A couple of other observations, over a decade writing fanfics, that is impressive, and your experience really shows, and what is with the cover art for this, what is all that gunk on Spike's face? Is it supposed to be some metaphor for the confusion and questions he is facing, because if it is it didn't really work for me, Spike with Thor's hammer is pretty cool, but Spike with Thor's hammer and a skin disease on his face is a bit less cool, but that's just me.

I'd expect Spike to dragon up and take a swing with that hammer :moustache:

Ooops! Sorry it took me so long to respond to your comment! My bad.

The thing on his face is the grapevine wreath... it's too big for him if it fit on Discord's head, so it slid down over his eyes, keeping us from seeing him cry.
I'm glad that you found the story so engaging! I'm not going to say that it's maljinor, but the hammer will be explained as to where it fits in my mythos in the future.:twilightsmile:

Perhaps, but then he wouldn't be the dragon that we love then...

Anywho, thanks for reading and commenting!:pinkiesmile:

Wow. Just wow. Congratulations, Descendant. I've been lurking FIMFiction for over half a year. This story literally forced me to create an account so I could like, favorite and comment on it.

I've been going through your stories, and I find your characterization of the various characters highly fascinating and highly within the realm of their cannon portrayals. This story, however, takes the cake. Spike going to commit a deed he absolutely dreaded, but felt necessary to protect the ones he loved, and then not only stopping himself but choosing a solution that is probably the wisest of all. Gods fear not the frailty of man, for they are immortal and above such base needs. However, when they are put into that mortal coil, then a true test of character is broached upon them.

So, uh. Yeah. This is now officially apart of my head cannon. Alongside with Celestia and Luna having silently watched the entire scene (at the very least) (He is the hero Equestria needs, though not the one it deserves).

Thanks for taking the time to write such a great comment!

I'm glad that you found some of the subtext so moving. I'm also intrigued by the idea that Celestia and/or Luna may have been watching, ready to interscede before anything happened... or just watching to see "which way the fates moved". An intriguing concept!

I'm glad that you've decided to join up, and I'm glad it's my works that have given you the impetus to do so!:twilightsmile:

I remember this...
Still as attention grabbing and thought provoking as before.

... I knew that forget was related to something!

I'm glad the story lingered with you. Thanks for re-reading!:twilightsmile:

No problem!
BTW, the comment about 'Forget'... this is related to your first story, isn't it?

Oh yes, very much related indeed!:twilightsheepish:

This would make for an interesting story hook. Mind if I use it?

Feel free! Could I ask for a link and/or shout out to this story in the header of yours?

When I (eventually) get around to writing it, sure!

I remember having a conversation with you on the consistency of your fanon and how Discord's appearance ruined it a little. Having said that, I wonder if Spike's thoughts portrayed in this story are something more personal than what they seem... :pinkiecrazy: Because, let's be fair here, there's not much of the story-telling done here, rather you're trying to explain a dilemma I find difficult to believe Spike himself would have. :twilightblush:

Hmmm... really? I'd like to think that the difficult Spike is having is that he wants to defend his friends, but he knows he's far too little to be useful (I haven't seen today's episode yet, but everyone seems to have said that he was able to help out. Yay!).

So, no, I wasn't trying to use Spike as my personal mouthpiece. I'm very, very, very sorry if this story comes across as me doing just that, and I hope that you found it enjoyable otherwise.

Oh. Then I'm terribly sorry to have misinterpreted it like that. :twilightblush: It's just that in one your earlier blogs you mentioned how Discord was a tough challenge to your head-canon and then BAM!, I read Variables. Coincidence much? :pinkiecrazy:

Anyway, have no worries. All of your stories have been enjoyable so far and honestly, I don't expect it to change. :twilightsmile:

EDIT: Oh, and yes, Spike did show how much he can accomplish in the opener. :yay:

you are the reason why there no other alicorns, at least not until Princess Cadence came back, right?

You must have added that little tidbit this summer since I am fairly positive that you didn't know about Cadence a year and 2 months ago.

You are old, and smart, and maybe the only thing in the world other than The Witches that worries the Sisters.

Does this mean that the Witches are still alive?

that one chaotic chance

Which is quite possible since Chance is dead and all.

As I was reading this, I couldn't help but think that I have already read this story before, even though I didn't. Hm, not exactly sure what I was thinking at that time. Probably just completely out of my mind. Oh well.

I feel that this is a very interesting take on what happened after Discord's fall to the current elements. I honestly half expected Spike to actually smash DIscord's face to get vengence to what he did to Twi. Though I am quite pleased that I was wrong in this instance. I believe that since you had Spike not commit such an act, you kept him true to himself. Will Discord view this as an act of mercy? Of weakness? *shrugs* Who really knows? I just know that he shouldn't underestimate the power of love and what that kind of power can control.

Those things that Spike saw... I find myself wondering if they were caused by that hammer itself or if the Sisters Sovereigns planted those images into his mind to make him into a known variable so that he places the hammer in Discord's paws. Then again the sisters didn't need to be the one to implant those images for Spike to be a variable in their experiment. He could have just been destined to be one and the sisters already knew about it and planned on it.

All-in-all, I loved the story!

By the way, I liked the reference to Heart of the Mountain. :twilightsmile:

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