• Published 8th Aug 2014
  • 4,162 Views, 55 Comments

The Butterfly's Burden - Titanium Dragon



What should be done about Discord? Luna and Celestia have called Fluttershy in to render judgement. Could Fluttershy ever forgive herself if she condemned her friend to be imprisoned in stone? Could she forgive herself if she didn't?

  • ...
6
 55
 4,162

The Butterfly's Burden

Fluttershy smiled and took a deep breath, filling her lungs with the scent of flowers and freshly cut grass. Even though it was not as perfect as it was the night of the gala, a night that seemed so long ago, it really was a lovely garden. Birds called to one another, their musical voices flowing over the greenery and echoing off the castle walls. Butterflies floated through the air, their delicate kisses carrying pollen from one fragrant flower to another. The Sun shone down over the castle walls, bringing a gentle breeze that rustled through the leaves and carried with it the taste of spring.

It really was a lovely garden. It was too bad she couldn’t enjoy it.

"Hello, Fluttershy."

"Hello, Princess." Fluttershy sighed quietly as she rose to her hooves, lifting her head up high to meet Celestia’s gaze. The Princess towered over her; she always did. She didn’t mean to, of course; Princess Celestia would never try to make her feel small. But it was hard not to; so many ponies depended on her for everything, every day, but Celestia wasn’t scared, she never hid or backed away from her responsibilities. And she was so understanding; the only time Fluttershy had ever seen her lose her temper was when someone was trying to hurt her “little ponies.”

She could never be so strong.

“I’m sorry to interrupt your time in the garden,” Celestia said softly.

“Oh, it’s alright.”

Celestia smiled down at her. It was a warm smile, a smile that told her that everything was alright, that it was okay to speak with her, the physical representation of the Sun in Equestria. To anyone else, it would have been a priceless sign of approval; the once in a lifetime knowledge that Princess Celestia was happy to see them, specifically. But Fluttershy had seen Celestia's real smile. She had seen the light in her eyes when she looked to her sister, or when her favorite student spoke to her; the slight lift of her cheek, the warmth in her voice that she reserved for the ones she loved. This was not a smile for a beloved friend, but one meant to soothe a frightened animal.

She did her best to smile back; it was only polite to pretend like it worked.

"Tell me, Fluttershy, how were the breezies?"

Fluttershy’s dark thoughts evaporated at the question. "Oh, they were wonderful!" Her voice rose, her eyes squinting. "I'd read about them, but seeing them is a whole different experience! They're so friendly and adorable, you just want to hug them all!" Her face fell for a moment. "Oh, but you can't, because their wings are so delicate. You have to be very careful."

"I know." Celestia chuckled good-naturedly, the musical sound driving Fluttershy on.

"They were afraid of me at first, but once they got used to me, they were so happy to have a pony to play with instead of run away from! They're so very scared of almost everything. But oh! They are so sweet. I remember, the first time they actually let me approach—"

"I'm glad you enjoyed your time with them," Celestia said smoothly. "I would love to hear all about your experiences, but I'm afraid the royal garden might not be the best place for such an important meeting."

Fluttershy's face fell as the cool breeze seemed to turn cold around her, shivering in spite of the sun beaming down on her. "Of course," she said, ducking her head. How could she have forgotten so quickly? That smile must work even better than she had believed.

The pair walked in silence for a minute, slowly strolling through the gardens towards the side of the castle. Celestia continued to wear her smile, but Fluttershy could see it was starting to fade, just a little, the warmth draining from the expression. "Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have gotten so quiet."

"It's quite alright," Celestia said, her horn glowing the same color as the Sun as the doors swung open. "But I would like to hear about the breezies. There aren't many ponies who can speak with them."

"Oh, of course." Fluttershy sighed as she stepped into the hall. Gone was the natural light of the sun, replaced by a kaleidoscope of colors as muted light filtered in through the windows, the colors of all the ponies of Equestria separated out and cast on the stone floor, creating beautiful patterns where it fell. The scent of nature was foreign to this monument of stone and glass, the sound of hooves tapping against the stone floor replacing the calls of birds and the rustle of wind-blown leaves.

"Do you have any thoughts?" Celestia prompted gently.

Fluttershy's ears fell. "Well…The breezies are very scared of the big wide world. Things we don't even think about are dangerous to them. Even falling leaves can send them off course!"

Celestia nodded as she slowly walked down the hall, the colors of the stained glass flowing over her alabaster coat. "There is a reason that they all dwell in their little kingdom and keep it closed to the outside eleven months of the year."

Fluttershy turned away from the Princess, but that only meant her vision was dominated by victory in stained glass; Luna and Celestia, circling Discord as they turned him to stone. She closed her eyes and sighed, bowing her head. "Yes. Some of them were afraid even of flying back to their home; they wanted to stay with me, because they thought I could keep them safe." Her ears fell. "But they really are delicate. They never could survive in Ponyville."

"Do you truly think so?"

Fluttershy paused mid step, slowly lowering her hoof to the floor as she thought. "I don't know. They must have sometime, before they built their kingdom, but... it is so hard to believe. Even a little acorn scares them."

Celestia shook her head. "There was a time when the breezies lived out in the forests, before ponies came to Equestria. It was a hard time for them; harder still, when the terrible winter came with the first pony settlers, for they had never seen so much snow, or known such cold existed."

Fluttershy put her hoof to her mouth. "That's awful!"

"Yes. That is why Clover the Clever enchanted their kingdom for them; without it, she feared they might vanish entirely."

"I see." Fluttershy's head rose as she began walking again, looking up at Celestia. "But wait. If they lived outside before the ponies came here, they must have been able to deal with leaves and acorns before."

"Indeed. That is why I wanted your thoughts on the matter." Celestia lifted her head, her many-colored mane billowing behind her, the filtered light of the stained glass at odds with its pastel hues. "The breezies cannot hide away from the world forever, but I fear that they believe that they can."

Fluttershy's heart sank in her chest as they walked down the hall, moving between broken light and shadow as they strode by the great deeds of the past. "Oh no! Is the magic going to go away? Oh, maybe Twilight could help? She's very good at magic. Or is it impossible to fix? Will they lose their homes?"

Celestia shook her head slowly. "No, Fluttershy, nothing so dramatic. I simply mean that they cannot hope to go unnoticed forever."

"What do you mean? Almost everypony knows about the breezies."

"Fewer ponies than you'd think." Fluttershy shrank in on herself at Celestia's soft words, eliciting a reassuring smile from the Princess. "However, that is not what I intended to say. Before your time with the breezies, how many of them had you seen?"

"Uhm, none," Fluttershy said as they stepped past the next pane of glass, shattered blue light streaming down onto her, a parody of a clear blue sky. "They're very rare, you know."

"And how many ponies have your interest in such things?"

Fluttershy ducked her head, hiding her eyes behind her mane; why was Celestia asking her? She wasn't good with ponies. She hadn't ever asked anyone. But she knew the answer that was expected of her. "Uhm... not many?"

"Indeed. And they have little cause to. But the breezies have great need of the help of ponies if the winds fail them; without Rainbow Dash and the other pegasi in Ponyville, they would have had a very hard time getting home. What would they have done if you hadn't been there to help guide them?"

"I'm sure they would have found a way home."

"Do you really think so?"

Fluttershy hesitated, her ears falling back into her mane as she sensed a trap. The Princess doubted her; Celestia knew almost everything. How dare she stand up to her? She knew better. But how could she make up for it? The Princess seemed to know about everything before it happened. Nightmare Moon, Discord, the changelings...

"Yes," Fluttershy said, planting her hooves and straightening herself as she forced the words out. "Seabreeze would never abandon them; he would have found help so that they could get home. I'm sorry to disagree with you, but that's just how I feel."

Celestia laughed quietly, the corners of her eyes crinkling as she smiled. "Not at all. I am glad that you believe so strongly in them. I was very happy to receive your report on everything that you and your friends did for the breezies, but I was even more happy to know that one of their own had stepped up to the challenge."

Fluttershy only barely kept her balance; this wasn't how it was supposed to go at all. She had been bracing herself for a terrible storm, but all she had gotten was tailwind. "But... I thought..."

"Nopony is an island, Fluttershy – and no breezie is either." Celestia stopped before the next stained glass window, lifting her hoof to point up towards the blue ponies perched at the top of the frame. "Tell me, my little pony, what did you think of the Crystal Empire?"

Fluttershy blinked, turning her head to look at the window. "The Crystal Empire? Oh, it was very nice. I mean, it is a teensy bit old-fashioned, but the ponies there seemed very friendly. So many smiles on their faces, especially when they found out they were going to host the Equestria Games!"

Celestia nodded her head, turning back towards the window, standing tall, her great frame casting a long shadow across the room. "Do you think the breezies would be ready to host the Equestria Games next year?"

"The Equestria Games?" Fluttershy fell flat on her tail, feeling the conversation spinning away from her. "Why would they host the Equestria Games? I don't think they would even want to."

"That is what I fear," the Princess said, still gazing up at the stained glass window. "I have seen many crystal ponies come to Canterlot to explore the world around them and to see all that the last thousand years have to offer, but I have never seen a single breezie do the same, not once since I left the Palace of the Two Sisters."

Fluttershy turned to look at the stained glass window; at Spike, his purple scales scintillating in the broken sunlight; at Cadance, smiling in the center of the crystal ponies, who had all turned to face her; at the crystal heart, shining in the center of it all, and she knew. "I see. You think the breezies should be more like the crystal ponies."

"I sense a hint of doubt in your voice. Do you disagree?"

She shook her head, then hesitated for a moment before nodding slightly. "No... well, yes. It's different."

"How is it different?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Fluttershy pawed at the carpet with her hoof. "To a breezie, the world is a big, scary place full of dangerous creatures just waiting to hurt them."

"Isn't it?" Celestia turned back towards her, her reassuring smile having returned in full force; Fluttershy wished she understood how the Princess could smile like that without seeming patronizing. "You of all ponies should know how scary the world can be."

Fluttershy tried to return Celestia's smile, but her heart wasn't in it; a smile like that couldn't fool a stranger, let alone the princess. "Oh, many creatures seem scary and dangerous, but when you know how to speak to them, most of them are just like ponies, just a little different."

"That is not quite what I mean," Celestia said, stepping over to rest a gold-shod hoof on Fluttershy's shoulder, making her flinch. "From what Twilight Sparkle has told me, you are a very shy pony, and don't like attention." She laughed softly. "I'm certain that the time you spent being a model for Photo Finish was very hard for you."

"Oh, it was. But I would do anything to make my friends happy. I felt so silly when I found out that Rarity was jealous of me, and that I had made her sad."

"So you would say that even if something is a little bit frightening, it still is worth doing if it is important enough?"

Fluttershy nodded her head solemnly, and, for just a moment, she could see the smile on Celestia's lips creep into her eyes, and in that moment, she could feel the weight of the world falling away from her.

"Come. We shouldn't keep my sister waiting."

Celestia's hoof left her shoulder, and with it, the relief, the leaden weight returning to her wings and withers as she moved to follow the Princess towards the great doors at the end of the hallway.

"Is she in there?"

The great pony turned her head back towards her to regard her for a moment, nodding. "Indeed."

"But... that's where you kept the Elements of Harmony."

"It is. But now it serves a new purpose: a private meeting room. No pony but Luna and myself can enter without permission." A dull light enveloped Celestia's horn as she lowered her head, slipping its tip into the hole in the center of the door. Fluttershy shivered slightly; she had seen Celestia's magic before, brilliant and golden, burning with all the brilliance of the noonday Sun, but this was something different, akin to the dull blue of the evening sky as the Sun slipped beyond the horizon. The light spread across the door, creeping down the lines as the door slowly slid open with the sound of stone grinding against stone.

Fluttershy lifted her head, peering between the doors at the space beyond. The haze of blue magic completely filled the room, giving its sole inhabitant the appearance of floating in space, the floor all but indistinguishable beneath her hooves; were it not for the runes glistening on the walls, one could almost believe that it wasn't a room at all, but a magical space, apart from the palace, too big to fit inside the castle walls.

"You have arrived; good. I was beginning to wonder if you had encountered difficulties on your way here."

Celestia chuckled. "Do not worry, sister; the guards have been told to inform you should another army invade Canterlot."

Luna scowled, narrowing her eyes at the joke as Fluttershy shrank away from Celestia's side, trying to avoid Luna's gaze; as usual, it didn't work, though her severe expression lightened at the sight of her. "Ah, fair Fluttershy. We apologize for requiring your presence, but it is a grave matter of state with which we are concerned."

Fluttershy stepped into the room slowly; it was larger than she remembered it being, more open, with a small table set up in the middle of the room behind which Luna was sitting, her starry mane glimmering in the low blue light. Gone were not only the scents of nature, but even the dust and carpet of the great hall she had just left; the small room was unnaturally sterile, the only smell the faint scent of magic in the air, somewhere between that of ash and ozone. She squeaked as she felt something brush against her tail and scooted over against the wall to let Celestia enter behind her.

"Fluttershy and I were just having the most wonderful conversation about the breezies."

"Pah!" Luna's horn glowed with light the color of her mane as the door swung shut behind them, eliminating the last vestiges of natural light; all that remained was the eerie blue glow and the strange runes shining on the walls. "I see little reason to discuss those who have chosen to banish themselves from the face of Equestria."

Celestia's smile faded. "No matter how little they venture out into Equestria, they reside within our borders and remain our subjects, and the well-being of all of our subjects are of the utmost importance to me. The breezies remain a matter of great import, which is why I wrote of them in our letter."

"Um, it's alright," Fluttershy said quietly. "I know you didn't really invite me here to discuss the breezies." She shrank as she felt the gazes of the two most powerful ponies in all of Equestria fall upon her, only for Luna to flash her a smile.

"See, sister, not all of our subjects are incapable of subtlety." The smile faded as quickly as it had formed as a piece of paper floated up onto the table. "It is good that you understand the seriousness of the task which has been set to you, and we are both most grateful for your service to the crown. We have read your reports with great interest, but also great concern, and after conferring with our niece, we were—"

Celestia cleared her throat, earning a dark look from Luna.

"Is there something you wished to say, sister? Do you feel I unfairly represent your point of view in this matter? I thought I was not the only one with grave concerns after hearing about how Princess Twilight and Princess Cadance were faced with deadly danger simply because Discord had grown bored, but perhaps I was mistaken."

Fluttershy shrank in on herself as the princesses bickered. They could just talk things out quietly; there was no reason to fight. Especially the princesses; why did they have to argue? It was only after several seconds of silence that Fluttershy peered out cautiously over the table, in time to see Celestia tip her head slightly, a frown on her face.

"Good." Luna turned back to Fluttershy, her face as stern as she had ever seen it; Fluttershy wished she could be anywhere else but here as she crouched back down. "As I was saying, the stories we have heard are of great concern to us, so tell us, fair Fluttershy: what is your progress on the reformation of Discord?" Luna blinked. "Fluttershy?"

Fluttershy squeaked, lifting her head to look at the princess, but meeting Luna's gaze only seemed to increase her anger.

"What is it? Do you still fear us, after all that has been done?"

Fluttershy shook her head. "No."

"What did you say?"

"No," she said, a little louder.

"Then why do you hide under the table? Did we—" Celestia cleared her throat again, making Luna grimace slightly before speaking again, more softly. "Did I drop something under the table? I see nothing there."

"No."

"Then why—"

"Sister." Celestia leaned across the table to set her hoof on Luna's shoulder, leaning forward to look into her eyes. "I think she is afraid you are angry with her."

"It is not towards her my anger is directed," Luna said, shrugging off her hoof before leaning over the table, extending her hoof. "I do not mean you harm, dear Fluttershy. I merely wish to know of your progress. I fear that he may be planning to wreak chaos across Equestria as we speak."

"What my sister means is: you know Discord better than anyone. You are his only friend, and the only link we have to what he truly thinks."

"Indeed. Your friendship is of great importance to all of Equestria, second only to that which you hold with the other bearers of the Elements of Harmony. We wish to know whether you believe he is making progress, or if we need to retrieve the Elements from the Tree of Harmony to once more return him to stone."

Fluttershy's ears lifted slightly. "Oh, he's doing much better now," she said, forcing herself to give her very best, most genuine smile. "We write to each other twice a week, and while he sometimes is a teensy bit late in writing back, he always does. Uhm. He hasn't brainwashed any ponies or animals since what he did to poor Mr. Beaverton Beaver; he still hasn't forgiven him, by the way. He caught some terrible illness from the tatzlwurm, it laid him up for weeks! Oh, but he got better, though. It is a good thing that Twilight and Princess Cadance had their magic; I wouldn't want to imagine what it would do to a pony. Uhm, before he left he said he was going to talk to somepony who makes lamps about—"

Luna waved a silvery hoof, gesturing for silence, making Fluttershy realize just how straight she was sitting; she immediately hunched her shoulders, letting her head fall down towards the table as Luna spoke once more.

"’Tis the incident with Princess Twilight and Princess Cadance of which I wish to speak. You say he is improving, but my sister had to deploy a section of the royal guard to retrieve several houses which were floating into Cloudsdale's airspace."

"Oh, I'm sure Discord just forgot about those; he's normally so good about putting things back where he found them."

"Is he?" Luna gave her a sidelong look. "Because that was hardly an isolated incident. We also had to retrieve a lamppost which disrupted a ball in Canterlot, attempting to dance with several members of the nobility."

"Oh dear. Well, at least nopony was injured, right?" Fluttershy leaned forward earnestly, only to sink back at Luna's response.

"Discord does not break his toys. That does not mean he does not make life insufferable for them." She grimaced. "And this is hardly the whole of what he has done. Hats had to be rounded up and disenchanted. Several strange trees the likes of which we have not seen in all our years were found and removed in order to prevent a recurrence of the incident with the vines. And we have not forgotten that Discord was the one who laid the seeds down which destroyed many buildings and ponynapped my sister and myself. And what did he do when asked for his aid? Cavort about in Ponyville during the ensuing chaos!"

Fluttershy looked at her hooves, but the familiar sight gave her no comfort; the dim blue glow of the room gave her yellow coat a sickly sheen, reflecting the feeling in her gut all too well. "Um, well, we did accuse him of being responsible without any evidence."

Luna's hoof slammed into the stone floor with a crack loud as thunder, making Fluttershy jump; she wished she could duck beneath the table once more, but Luna's gaze held her fast. "Your suspicions were correct; he was responsible, and forced the six of you to brave mortal peril in order to defeat the vines and free myself and my sister. Worse still, your victory came at a great cost. You should have returned him to stone while you had the chance; now, the Elements are trapped once more within the Tree of Harmony. No doubt it was all part of his plan."

"Uhm, couldn't we just take the Elements out of the tree?" As Luna's steely gaze held, Fluttershy lowered herself towards the ground until she was only barely peeking over the table. "I mean, if we really needed to, that is."

Celestia shook her head. "I'm afraid it is not so simple. The Tree of Harmony is in a delicate state; if we were to remove the Elements from the Tree, it might succumb to the damage which has already been done to it."

"Oh, I see." Fluttershy looked away from Princess Luna, her eyes on the wall, examining the oddly uniform surface; it may have resembled the color of the sky, but no one could mistake it for such. No birds would ever fly in such an unnatural place, no butterflies glide on gossamer wings. She wished she was back out there with them, instead of here, trapped inside with an angry pony. But sometimes, you had to do something, even though you didn't like doing it. Sometimes, especially because you didn't like doing it. "Well, then it is a good thing Discord hasn't made us use them on him."

Luna snorted. Fluttershy could feel Luna's scowl on the back of her neck, the glow in the room dimming towards dusk. "Hasn't he? This is merely the latest in a long string of mischief. I fear he has long since forced our hooves, but we, in our pity for his condition, stayed them, allowing him to create further mischief without punishment or recrimination. I say, 'No more!' Let him be stone once again; the castle gardens could use additional decoration."

"The reason I called you here," Celestia said, lifting her head, "is because my sister fears that your friendship may not be enough to keep Discord from returning to his former ways."

"Indeed. The mischief he has caused is small thus far, but I fear he may simply be biding his time until the opportune moment to strike."

"Uhm, he is."

The two larger ponies both started, gilded hooves scraping loudly against the stone floor. "What?"

Fluttershy ducked her head. She had said too much. But she couldn't just stop there. Screwing up her courage, she closed her eyes and turned back towards them, straightening up as she forced the words out. "He is. Or at least, I think he is." She slowly cracked open one eye. Celestia was good at hiding her emotions; if Fluttershy hadn't heard her voice, she would never have known how surprised the Princess was.

"How? When will he strike? We must send a letter to Twilight to bid her to fetch the Elements at once!" Luna wheeled around, turning back towards the door, lowering her head. Oh, how Fluttershy wished she could let her go, open that door and allow her to return to the garden. But...

"No."

Luna stopped, turning her head to look back over her shoulder at Fluttershy; her gaze was intense. Was that how Celestia was feeling as well? The elder sister showed no sign of it.

"And why not?"

"Uhm, because he doesn't mean it."

Celestia gazed down at her serenely, lifting her head, erasing all signs of concern from her face as she spoke gently, obviously trying not to frighten her; Fluttershy was glad for it, but it would have been nice to know what she was thinking. "What makes you say that, Fluttershy?"

"Because he's lonely." She took a deep breath, filling her lungs with the air of the room; the taste of magic was strong on her tongue, and the touch of the unnatural air made her chest tingle slightly, but she forced herself to hold it for several seconds before letting it out slowly. "He doesn't want to be alone again."

"And he is afraid of losing you as a friend?" Luna spoke from the door, slowly turning back towards her. "Are you certain?"

Fluttershy shook her head slightly, biting her lip. "No. I'm not his friend."

She could hear Celestia’s hooves moving, the larger alicorn shifting her weight as she leaned forward. "Do you not enjoy his company? I had hoped that you might befriend him, regardless of the difficulty." Her words were soft, but carried the weight of disappointment behind them; the weight of failure.

"Would a friend go have a secret meeting with ponies who don't like their friend and are thinking of locking them away forever?"

Did they flinch? "No, I suppose not," Celestia said slowly. "But these are unusual circumstances."

Fluttershy braced herself, her hooves sliding across the smooth floor, her wings spreading out slightly, as if they could keep her in place against the storm to come. "Oh, I want to be his friend. But what kind of friend goes behind their friend's back and talks about turning him to stone? He can be a very nice draconequis when he tries, but friends have to trust each other. And I can't. How can I ask for his trust when I don't give him the same in return?" Fluttershy sighed. "I want him to be happy, but he doesn't know how to be happy when he isn't causing trouble. Oh, he feels bad when he upsets me, but he doesn't understand why. We have tea, and we write letters, but... oh, I don't know."

"And what makes you think he will change?" Luna stepped forward. "If you are not his friend, then there is nothing keeping him from wreaking havoc on Equestria once again."

"Well..." Fluttershy fidgeted. "Maybe if we showed him a little extra kindness, it would help. Actually try to be friends with him because of who he is, instead of trying to change him into who we want him to be."

"Wise words, Fluttershy. But I think you underestimate yourself," Celestia said quietly, and as Fluttershy looked up, she stifled a gasp; Celestia was smiling at her, really smiling, not that fake princess smile she usually wore. Was what she said really so special? But she was leaning down now, her voice dropping. "I think you are more special to Discord than you give yourself credit for. And that he means more to you than you believe."

"What do you mean?"

"Simply that you are defending him from us. Few ponies disagree with my sister and I on matters of great import. "

Fluttershy blinked at Celestia's words. "But I would do that for anypony."

"But Discord isn't anypony. He has performed a great deal of mischief, much of it at the expense of you and your friends. And yet, you still seek his friendship and defend his freedom, and he in turn seeks your approval, judging by your letter."

Well, he did seem happy to see her and for her to take care of him. "I guess you're right."

Luna snorted. "Do you truly think that one such as Discord can make friends? Are you certain he is not simply using you? Exploiting your trust and kindness so that he may remain free?"

"Uhm, well... I think he's a little lonely. Maybe if he made more friends, he would be a little nicer?"

Luna bowed her head silently; it was strange to see one of the rulers of Equestria so hesitant. "I do not like the idea, but I can see its merits," she said finally.

"Did he take interest in somepony else?" Celestia asked quietly. "If so, perhaps we can speak with them and see—"

"Oh no, you mustn't!" Fluttershy shook her head vehemently. "Don't you see? If you tell somepony that they have to be friends with him, then they can never really be friends at all, because he can't ever really trust them."

Celestia's facade held, but Fluttershy thought she could sense the strain in her voice, the worry for the unnamed pony. "Discord is dangerous. He may not cause anypony physical pain, but we both know just how much of a danger he can be."

"Who is this pony?" Luna's confidence had returned, her voice calm; it was strange to see her more sanguine than her sister. But Fluttershy could tell Luna wasn't confident because she trusted her; she was confident because she was resigned to the answer.

Fluttershy winced as she spoke, squeezing her eyes shut. "It's Twilight."

"I should have guessed. He did show great interest in her." Celestia sighed, before a touch of levity entered her voice. "Though, she does have a tendency to make friends with those who have been banished for a thousand years."

"That is not funny, sister."

Celestia laughed quietly, and when Fluttershy dared look at her, she could see a smile on the elder princess's face. It wasn't a real smile, though; she just wanted to make her comfortable. It almost worked. Almost. Still, Fluttershy smiled; it was the polite thing to do, pretend that she fooled her, even though Celestia would know better.

"It is an interesting thought, and if anypony besides you could befriend Discord, it would be Princess Twilight. But I am not sure she desires his friendship."

"I don't think anyone really wants his friendship, your majesty," Fluttershy said, stepping towards the solar matriarch. "But if he wants to have friends, he has to treat them nicely. I think the reason he tricked Princess Cadance was because he was jealous."

Luna's eyes narrowed as she spoke. "The hope of pony's friendship is a slender hope on which to rest the fate of Equestria."

Fluttershy shifted uncomfortably. "Uhm, well, maybe it would help if we were a bit nicer to him?"

"You said that already," Luna said dismissively, waving her hoof.

The room fell eerily quiet as the two sisters watched Fluttershy, waiting for some reaction, but what could she say? Her head fell; she was like a child talking to her mother. Luna might hear her words, but she would never listen.

Fluttershy started at the sound of Celestia's voice breaking the silence. "I think she was speaking of us, sister."

Luna narrowed her eyes.

"Uhm, well..." Fluttershy slowly drug her hoof along the floor, the blue glow unmuted by its passage; it seemed whatever magic was held fast deep inside. There was no escape there. "Yes."

"You cannot be serious."

"Oh, but I am," she said, looking up at Luna with the best eyes she could muster; they were her best defense against threats like this. But Luna was unmoved, the princess's dark form silhouetted by the strange blue light.

"And how, pray tell, are we to do that?"

"Trust him. Tell him to do something important."

Luna tossed her head imperiously. "That would be unwise. If we could trust Discord with such a task, we would need not call you here in secret. If we gave him some task of great import, he would seize his chance to do his worst, and throw all of Equestria into chaos."

Fluttershy winced, lowering her head and averting her gaze; she wasn't going to listen.

"You disagree? You do not think he would take it as a chance to cause chaos once more, to bend all the land to his whim?"

Had she thought she was shaking her head? Maybe she did, just a little. She didn't mean to. But, still, she had to understand. Summoning her resolve, Fluttershy managed to meet Luna's gaze. "Yes. He, uhm, doesn't like disappointing ponies."

Luna stared at her as if she had sprouted another head; Fluttershy could only barely resist glancing over to check. "He has no trouble disappointing us with his ill behavior."

What was she thinking? Of course he disappointed them. Still... "It's not the same. If you ask him to be nice, he thinks it is some kind of game, but if you ask him to do something, and he doesn't do it..." She lifted her hoof an inch off the ground, "He feels a little guilty."

"A little guilty," Luna said flatly. "And you think that will stop him?"

"I think so?"

The Princess of the Night snorted, stomping her hoof. "And you think it is worth risking the fate of all of Equestria on your thought?" Her voice rose as she spoke, until she was shouting, the almost deafening roar of her voice rebounding off the walls of the tiny space, echoing loudly as Luna glared, her wings rising from her back, only to drop them at the touch of Celestia's hoof.

"Why?" the older sister asked gently.

Fluttershy wasn't sure how she was still standing after that, but somehow, her legs held, even as her knees wobbled beneath her. "Uhm... because he does." She swallowed, licking her lips. "Feel guilty, I mean." She lifted her head, letting her mane fall out of her eyes. Celestia's gaze was serene, benevolent, non-judgmental. "He... doesn't like letting ponies down. He may really like causing trouble, but if you really trust him, he..." She sighed. "He said it makes it too easy."

"Then it is worse than I thought. He does not even pretend to be reformed." Luna shook her head.

"Oh, I know. He says he is reformed, but, uhm, he isn't a very good liar."

"Indeed." The light in the room seemed to dim as Luna turned towards Celestia, her ears and eyes focusing on her sister; Fluttershy could sense the dismissal even before she spoke. "I think we have heard enough. It is clear that Discord has not changed his ways, despite our best efforts. I do not pretend to understand what you sought to accomplish with Discord, sister, but it has failed. Now it only remains to determine what needs be done with him."

"Sister," Celestia said, stepping forward and setting a gold-shod hoof on Luna's shoulder, the gold seeming tarnished in the unnatural light, "I did not expect Fluttershy to succeed in reforming Discord in a day, or even in a year."

Fluttershy's ears fell. How much of her life had Celestia been planning?

"This is folly, sister. Discord may possess great magic, and be capable of things we are not, but that does not excuse putting our subjects in danger!"

"Are we to be as the breezies, then, forever hiding from that which we are afraid?"

Fluttershy recoiled at the crack of Luna’s hoof on the floor. "They are not breezies, sister. They have nothing in common."

"Then what of their behavior towards you, my sister? Do you not remember your difficulty on Nightmare Night?" Fluttershy wished she could sink into the ground at Celestia's words, but the floor did not seem interested in heeding her wishes; it never did.

Luna took a step back. "That is different. I was simply being... overenthusiastic. I did not understand how things had changed."

"And if Twilight had not intervened?"

"Then..." Luna scowled. "It is not the same! Their fear was justified!"

"Is the breezies' fear of the world not justified? Is it not dangerous to them?"

"Not in the same way! They fear acorns and leaves; silly things, not Nightmares and Chaos!"

Celestia lifted her chin. “How do you think the breezies see us?”

"As portable fans."

Fluttershy tried to suppress her giggle, but failed, earning a look and an arched eyebrow from Princess Luna.

"I do not find this particularly funny."

She shrank down. Of course Luna wasn't joking; she was always serious. "I'm sorry."

Celestia giggled musically. "It is not nice to tease our subjects, Luna."

"You are hardly one to talk. I almost think you enjoyed the appearance of Discord’s ‘friend’ at the ball."

Celestia’s eyes gleamed. “I must admit it did make things more lively.”

“The nobles were terrified!”

“Just as they were terrified of you when you returned, despite the danger having passed.” Celestia stepped forward, setting her hoof on her sister's shoulder. "You now seek to protect our subjects. Do you think Discord could not be brought to do the same?"

"Those are two very different things!" Luna shook her head. "I am a princess, a guardian of Equestria. He has done naught but bring chaos to this world!"

“We all know full well the trouble he can cause, but we cannot let our fear of what he is capable of blind us to the good he can do for Equestria. Don’t you agree, Fluttershy?”

All eyes were on her again, expectant eyes, as if she had some say in this. Did she? Were they really expecting her to tell them what to do? But they were the princesses!

Fluttershy sat back on her haunches, looking down at her hooves. Was this why Celestia had invited her here after helping the breezies? Did Celestia really see ponies as being like the breezies? She looked up at the princess, face half-hidden behind her mane, but the benevolent smile on Celestia's face held no answers; she wished it did.

"Uhm..."

"Yes?" Celestia prompted gently.

Fluttershy shuddered, struggling to keep her head and shoulders up under the weight the princess had placed on them. Why were they asking her? She was just a normal pony. Was this a test, like with Twilight? Were they going to be angry if she disagreed? Oh, but they didn't agree; she would have to disagree with one of them. Her eyes flicked over to the door, but there was no escape there; sealed by magic, the runes pulsing slowly in the unnatural light, only the Princesses could open them. Her guts twisted as her shoulders slumped under the weight. She shouldn't lie. But...

"Princess Luna is right. It isn't like the breezies at all."

She could see Princess Celestia take a step back, her golden hoof leaving the edge of her vision as she stared at the floor, wishing that it was grass, or even stone, not an endless sea of blue. It was like falling into the sky, with no ground in sight, plummeting forever.

Fluttershy closed her eyes, turning her head away. "I'm sorry. But the breezies have to come to Equestria. We don't have to fix Discord. We could have just turned him to stone and left him in your garden." She took a shuddering breath, trying to steady herself, lifting her head and opening her eyes, the two alicorns blurring into the sea of blue as tears filled her eyes. Shaking her head, she rubbed at her face with her hooves, words tumbling out of her mouth as Luna opened her mouth to respond. "But that doesn't mean we shouldn't try! I think he can be good. He likes tea and cucumber sandwiches and laughing and smiling and I think he can be good. You just have to give him a chance."

The younger princess scowled. "This is foolishness. Both of you refuse to act, even as Discord tests the bars of his prison, waiting for the opportunity to escape. But you will not act, not until Discord has rendered this world a mockery of all that we hold dear! And you!" The swift movement of Luna's hoof made Fluttershy flinch, but her eyes opened to reveal a silvery hoof hanging several inches in front of her face, pointing at her. "You would make excuses even then, about how the hills need be more colorful and the grass more interesting!"

"Sister," Celestia said, taking a step forward and setting her hoof on her sister's, slowly lowering it to the floor as Luna growled.

"No."

The two princesses both swiveled their head towards Fluttershy at the sound of her voice; she hesitated, falling back for a moment before rallying her courage. "No. I wouldn't let him do that."

"Oh? Given his behavior thus far, and your encouragement of it, I have my doubts."

Fluttershy closed her eyes, trying to keep the tears back, but it didn't work; she could feel the warm liquid flowing down her cheeks. "I don't want to, but if he really did something like that, I would. That's why I'm not a real friend." She trembled. "When we first tried to help him, he turned all of Applejack's farm into a lake. And when I asked him to fix it, he froze it."

Celestia nodded, smiling at her encouragingly while Luna continued to glower. She wasn't going to listen. Fluttershy's ears fell back; no, it didn't matter. She couldn't think like that.

"He... I said he wasn't my friend, and he said he didn't care, but then he felt bad and fixed things. But, if he hadn't..." Fluttershy sniffed. "I would have broken my promise and turned him back to stone."

Celestia stepped forward to place her hoof on Fluttershy's shoulder, the chill of the golden hoof shoe sending a shiver through her body. "Just because you are willing to protect others from those you love does not make you any less of a friend." She leaned in close, her voice low. "Do you think I love my sister any less for having banished her to the Moon for a thousand years?"

Fluttershy looked away, but there was no refuge there, either, only another princess, though Luna's face had softened, the steel in her eyes replaced with sorrow. Fluttershy quickly averted her eyes; Luna deserved that much. She hadn't even been thinking of that. She couldn't say it, not now.

Even if it was true.

"I'm sorry," she finally managed, staring at the floor once more; unsettling as it was, it was far safer than meeting Celestia's gaze. She didn't lift her eyes, not even when Celestia removed her hoof from her shoulder and stepped away to speak with Luna, their voices low. Fluttershy tucked her ears back against her mane; she didn't want to hear what they were saying. But she could feel her gut dropping as their conversation trailed off into silence, the two having apparently reached some sort of agreement without further argument.

"Fluttershy. After some deliberation, my sister and I have come to a decision."

Celestia's voice was cool, carrying behind it the power of great authority, and of grave danger. There was only one thing that could mean. Fluttershy's head sank lower as she closed her eyes; she didn't want to hear this.

"You are correct," Luna said, and as Fluttershy's eyes shot open, she realized that she had come to stand right in front of her. "I am fortunate that my sister's mercy runs so deep, that she would forgive me after what I did so long ago." She closed her mouth, her lips tightening, before continuing. "It is only just that we extend the same courtesy to Discord, troubled though he may be."

Celestia nodded her head gravely. "You were wise to see that so long as we held so little faith in Discord, he could hardly hold faith in us in return."

"We shall see if we can find some matter of state for which his talents are well-suited, and grant it to him. But—"

Oh, it didn't matter what else there was. Discord wasn't going to be turned to stone! Fluttershy just couldn't hold it back anymore, and smiled up at the startled Princess before realizing what she had just done. She squeaked and took a step back, removing her hooves from around Luna's shoulders. "I'm sorry!"

Luna blinked, then smiled, lowering her head. "You need not feel sorrow, fair Fluttershy. It has been some time since one not of my blood has seen fit to gift me with their embrace." Her smile faded, her voice taking on additional gravity. "But know this. We are extending this courtesy to Discord, but we do not extend our faith blindly. We cannot watch ourselves, thus it falls to you to observe him, and see him for what he truly is." Luna locked her eyes onto Fluttershy's, leaning forward. "You must inform us immediately if you feel that we must act."

Fluttershy gulped, doing her best to keep her breathing steady. She could do this. It wasn't like she was spying on the most powerful creature in Equestria to see if he was evil again or anything. Licking her lips, she nodded her head, keeping her eyes on Luna's. "I will."

Luna returned her nod gravely. "I only hope that there is no need. I do not wish to be correct, for your sake as well as his." Luna lifted her head, breaking the hold of her eyes as she turned away from Fluttershy, her horn lighting once more, the runes on the door and walls fading as the door began to crack open, light – real light – entering the room as she stepped through the open portal, not looking back.

"Is it over?" Fluttershy looked to Celestia, who nodded her head slightly, her placating smile plastered back on her snout. It was such a beautiful thing; Celestia must have spent many hours practicing to smile like that. She wondered what it must have been like, before Celestia could smile like that; was she like Luna? Was she scary? Or did she do something else?

"Come. I need to lower the sun, but I do have enough time to return you to the garden."

Fluttershy realized Celestia was already leaving the room and that she was still rooted to the spot where Luna had left her. Shaking her head, she trotted off after her, slowing her gait as she drew even with the Princess. She didn't even mind the strangely colored sunlight filtering in through the windows, or the stone and carpet beneath her hooves; anything was better than that room. Glancing back over her shoulder, she saw that the great golden doors had already been sealed tight, hiding that place from view. She shivered slightly; she hadn’t heard them close.

"I am glad the Equestrian Society for the Preservation of Rare Creatures asked you to look after the breezies; they would be hard pressed to find a better advocate than you."

The breezies? "Uhm, I don't think I did much, Princess."

Celestia shook her head slightly, her horn lighting up to open the door to the garden. "Your expertise was invaluable, and your recommendation was something we had not been contemplating."

"Uhm... I don't..." Looking up, she met the Princess's gaze for a moment before her eyes widened. "Oh! The breezies!" Stupid Fluttershy. No one cares about the breezies, not really. Her ears drooped. "Well, I think everypony deserves a chance." She paused for a moment. "Even if they're not a pony." She lowered her head as she paused on the threshold. "I'm sorry if I made Luna angry."

"You did not." Celestia paused for a moment; was that hesitation? Did she really need to think, or was it just to make her feel comfortable, like she was more like her? "When Luna and I ruled alone, we did not have others to trust to accomplish great deeds; I fear my sister is restless. She wishes to do more. But at times, the greatest kindness you can give is to allow others to shine." Another pause. It had to be on purpose. "A lesson I learned all too late."

"I'm sorry." That was really personal. Why was she telling her these things? The floor held no answers, nor did Celestia's hooves. Fluttershy thought she heard a sigh, but by the time she looked up, Celestia's Princess smile had returned; she must have been imagining things.

"There is nothing to be sorry about. I have done my best to take that lesson to heart, over these last thousand years. But perhaps I had not extended it far enough." Celestia inclined her head towards the open door. "You may remain here as long as you would like."

The garden! Fluttershy smiled gratefully, stepping outside, back out onto the grass, feeling it flatten out beneath her hooves. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, the smell of flowers filling her lungs, replacing the muted scent of the great hall. Birds chirped their songs in the trees, and Fluttershy's thoughts turned towards her bird friends back at home.

But she couldn't pretend, not anymore. The garden felt smaller, somehow, more artificial than it had before. The butterfly which passed her by was no breezie, and Mister Blue Jay wasn't singing; it was some stranger. The walls, which had seemed so far away before, felt close, and even as she stepped out further into the open space, it made no difference; she knew that she wasn't outside, not really. It was a wonderful place, but it wasn't home.

Lifting her head towards the sky, she realized that the Sun had sunk too low to peek over the castle walls; even with her eyes closed, she should have been able to sense the sun's light beaming down onto her, but there was nothing, just dull sky above, unable to pierce her eyelids. It was kind of funny, looking towards the sky for the Sun when she had just been walking alongside Princess Celestia, but in that room, there had been no sun, despite her presence.

She slowly slid to the ground, her legs bending underneath her. She was outside; why did she still feel cornered? Did that room do something to her? Even out here, she felt like she could almost sense that dull blue glow, trapped in her guts, unable to escape. It wasn't as bad as it was, but it ruined everything. She couldn't even imagine she was home anymore, not like this.

Her ears drooped as she opened her eyes. The fences and hedges, the neatly-trimmed trees and carefully cut grass; it was beautiful, but it wasn't nature, not really. Maybe it wasn't even meant to be; maybe Princess Celestia kept the garden because she liked plants and animals, but didn't like nature, not in her castle. Glancing back towards the doorway, she jumped as she realized that Princess Celestia was still standing there, watching her quietly.

"I'm sorry. I did not mean to startle you."

"Oh, it's alright," Fluttershy said quickly, bowing her head.

The Princess's smile was still there, but there was a certain look in her eyes which didn't quite match it. It wasn't what it had been earlier, though; it wasn't the falseness that she wore for the councilors and noblemen, but something real, some emotion that she didn't let touch her lips. Maybe, if Fluttershy knew her better, she could tell what she was feeling.

Or maybe she did.

"Princess?" she ventured softly. When Celestia didn't answer, Fluttershy stepped forwards, but as she opened her mouth to repeat her question, Celestia met her eyes.

"Yes?"

Fluttershy smiled gently, then, like she would for a wounded animal. Maybe she was hurting like she was hurting. Maybe she had spent so much time in rooms like that, she had forgotten what nature was like. Maybe the garden was the way it was because even that was better than those rooms.

"Uhm... I was wondering. That room had a lot of magic, and even though I'm outside, it doesn't feel right." She licked her lips nervously. "I was wondering, does it...?" She trailed off, unable to complete her thought. Fluttershy didn't know anything about magic, not really. If only Twilight was here, then maybe she could ask the question right, and not sound silly. Her eyes slid off of Celestia's face, focusing on the grass between her hooves.

"No."

Fluttershy blinked, raising her head. Did she know what she was asking? "No?"

Celestia met her gaze once more, and Fluttershy realized what it was she was seeing in those eyes: pity. No, that wasn't right. It was better than that; warmer.

"No. The room's magic exists only to keep our meetings private; it does not linger beyond its walls."

Fluttershy realized that Celestia was walking over towards her, and lifted her hoof to take a step back before realizing that there was no reason to retreat, nothing to be afraid of; the Princess wasn't scary, not really. But the Princess had seen her movement and stopped, her golden hooves gleaming amongst the grass.

"So, why do I feel so strange, then?"

Celestia lowered her head slightly. "When you make a decision like this one, it is like a weight is lifted from your shoulders. Sometimes, you have truly shed the weight. But often, you have merely placed it somewhere else, where it can be carried more easily."

"It feels awful." Fluttershy couldn't look at her anymore; she didn't want to see those pitying eyes.

"I know."

"Does it ever go away?"

The garden had grown quiet, as if every creature in it was holding its breath, waiting for Celestia to respond. They were so polite. Fluttershy wished they weren't; the silence was terrible.

"Eventually. But until it is done, you bring some small part of it with you wherever you go."

Fluttershy lifted her head slowly; usually, it surprised her how big the princess was, how tall she was, but right now, she didn't seem so large. Maybe she was getting used to her, but she couldn't help but feel like it was because she knew she wasn't really there. Fluttershy could still feel a piece of that room inside her; if she did that every day...

Celestia chuckled quietly. "Do not worry about me, my little pony. I'll be alright."

Had she said something? Still, it was polite to nod and smile. That was the right thing to do. She had no place worrying about the Princess. She was a big pony, she could take care of herself.

"I'm afraid I must go; it is much easier to lower the Sun with the help of another. I would hate to leave my sister to do it alone."

"Oh, alright."

Celestia closed her eyes, tilting her head. "Thank you for coming, Fluttershy. You were a great help."

"Thank you, Princess, for letting me spend time in your garden."

Celestia smiled as she opened her eyes and lifted her head, turning around and striding confidently out of the garden, leaving Fluttershy alone with her thoughts, the pegasus sighing as she laid down on her back, her wings spread out on the grass, looking up at the sky. She could hear some of the birds moving around in the trees, now, the squirrels and bunnies moving through the hedges. And maybe, just maybe, she could hear the wallaby hopping along.

She remembered when she had been so excited to come to the garden; it really had been beautiful at the gala, and even when all the flowers weren't in bloom, it was still a wonderful place. But staring up at the sky, she could see the walls in all directions, closing it in, boxing it off from the rest of the world; it wasn't really real. It wasn't like her animal friends; this was their home, but it was a small home, a home they couldn't really leave, even if they wanted to go out into the big scary world.

Fluttershy wanted to talk to them, but she couldn't; the animals deserved soft voices and smiles, not complaints about her problems. So didn't call to them again, she didn't ask them how they were doing. She just watched the sky.

A yellow glow came from one of the towers, high above. As the sky faded, she closed her eyes. She didn't need to see it anymore. But she knew it wasn't going to do her any good.

Fluttershy wondered if the Princess was reminded of that room every night when she lowered the sun. If she tried, really hard, she could convince herself that she was crying because she felt sorry for the princess, that she had to put herself inside that room to do her job every day.

But if she was telling the truth, she knew she was crying because she didn't need to see the sky to know what color it was; all she had to do was look inside.

Author's Note:

If you enjoyed this story, you might enjoy my other stories about Celestia and Luna, especially The Stars Ascendant, a story set shortly after the end of Season 4.

You might also enjoy Dawn and Dusk, my historical fiction stories about Luna and Celestia raising the Sun and the Moon for the first time.


I would like to thank Bad Horse, Bribri, HoofBitingActionOverload, and Pearple Prose for their help in reading over and editing this story.

Comments ( 55 )

*Gulps*
That's a lot of words. Luckily I have time on my hands.
*Puts on shades*
Let's do this.

I'm about a quarter of the way through, and I'm envious of how well you are able to create an interesting conversation between characters. I'll upvote for now and I'll probably favorite it once I've finished reading it.

4820709
The word document is exactly 10,000 words long. :rainbowdetermined2:

Alas, FIMFiction's odd word counting rules mean that it ends up several hundred words longer, so it isn't a nice, even number.

4820752
I'm glad you're enjoying it! That's the core of the story, so it had better be good if I'm doing my job. :twilightsmile:

It would be cool to see an aftermath conversation, after the finale.

I absolutely adore this :twilightsmile:

4825835
Glad to hear it! Always nice to hear it was enjoyed. :twilightsmile:

4822412
I'm glad to hear you'd like to see more, though I'm not sure if I'll ever visit that particular conversation in a story. I do have some plans for stories involving Luna and Celestia post-season 4, but they're more concerning Twilight, Cadance, and Shining Armor. But who knows, maybe I'll find a story where it would have a place. I do have an idea for a story about Celestia entrusting the rest of the mane six with more responsibility, but we shall see.

So, it is the fault of FlutterShy that Discord went after Tirek on a a solo-mission, thus allowing Tirek to pretend to be his friend and manipulating him into helping Tirek steal the magic of Equestria.

4826567
Well, you know what they say; the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

4826570

My take on Discord is that he is chaotic neutral and emotionally immature:

He likes chaos. He does not intend to make life difficult for ponies, but that is a side effect. He is prone to emotional outbursts.

If he would have a lawful good friend influencing him, he could he a force for good. If somecentaur who is evil pretends to be his friend, he could be manipulated int extremely destructive acts, even if he refuses to kill and prevents the evil centaur from killing.

Given that he is emotionally immature, prone to outbursts, and easily manipulated by entities pretending to be his friend, it was a bad idea to send Discord solo against Tirek.

The Princesses should have paired him with a chaperone. They can tell him that the chaperone is his partner in case Tirek has the ability to drain Draconequi.

Although he trusts FlutterShy, the mission is to dangerous for her. The chaperone should be an AliCorn. The AliCorn should not be an Head of State, because her disappearance might cause panic. That eliminates Princesses Mi Amore Cadenza and Celestia. Because ponies are diurnal, Princess Luna could accompany Discord without her absence being noted.

Either Princess Twilight Sparkle or Princess Luna should have accompanied Discord.

4826719

He likes chaos. He does not intend to make life difficult for ponies, but that is a side effect. He is prone to emotional outbursts.

Sometimes, but he's also the spirit of Disharmony; sometimes he does, in fact, enjoy making life difficult for ponies. That being said, if he had more emotional connections to ponies... like most trolls, he doesn't like making the ones he cares about suffer, not really. A bit of teasing but not any real pain. If he cared about more ponies, he'd be more likely to want to control this aspect of his behavior.

Given that he is emotionally immature, prone to outbursts, and easily manipulated by entities pretending to be his friend, it was a bad idea to send Discord solo against Tirek.

No one knew he was easily manipulated by entities pretending to be his friend. Fluttershy's intentions toward him were good; she wasn't pretending to be his friend, she was genuinely trying as hard as she could to befriend him. It's understandable that Celestia didn't realize that Discord can't actually tell the difference between a sincere offer of friendship and an attempt at manipulation. In the past, it is likely that attempts to manipulate Discord with apparent friendship failed miserably, because Discord thought he didn't need or want friends; a thousand years in the loneliness of stone may have changed him, made him recognize that he is lonely.

Either Princess Twilight Sparkle or Princess Luna should have accompanied Discord.

This would indeed have been a much better idea. But I don't think Discord is dumb; in my story "Traitor", Celestia actually tried this, and Discord shot her down, seeing her attempt to pair him with Twilight as a vote of no confidence in his ability. (He didn't assume she thought he'd fall for Tirek; he assumed she thought he'd get distracted and fail to do the job, but it's the same thing.) So he manipulated Celestia into fearing for what would happen to Twilight if Tirek got her, while at the same time overplaying his own invulnerability. Celestia's a pony like any other; Discord used her love of Twilight to get what he wanted, a chance to prove himself on his own, and then he spectacularly failed that chance.

Although, now I want to see an AU where Twilight does accompany Discord. It would be fun to see the two of them working together on a project... kind of like your classic cop buddy show. She's a morally upright young Alicorn who plays by the rules! He's a rogue Draconequus who does things his own way! They fight crime!

4828860
It is entirely believable that Discord would play Celestia, and in any case, Discord was actually more than capable of dealing with Tirek; in all fairness to Celestia, she probably didn't think that Tirek would even be capable of manipulating Discord, given that Tirek himself had been unable to even keep his own brother on his side. When your track record is "everyone abandoned you because you're a jerk", people don't expect you to develop charisma - or expect you to have possessed it all along.

Discord was played because he didn't understand what friendship was; he saw it as something which benefited him, rather than as a two-way road.

4829563
4826570
4826567
4828860
4826719

I agree that Traitor is a good story exploring the motives, thought, and emotions of Discord.

To be completely honest, this story really confused me. :rainbowhuh: It almost seemed like Fluttershy didn't even care about Discord. She cares, we know that. And then the thing with the breezies thrown in--that in itself just made me stop and retread portions over again. Took me forever to finish this because I was still trying to understand what was going on. And the magic? I have absolutely no clue what that was about. :unsuresweetie: Maybe I'm just dumb? :fluttercry: I usually really get into these kind of a stories, with Fluttershy talking about Discord. But this one just left me confused and a bit upset over the emotions of the characters. None of them seemed. . . right. :applejackunsure:

It was still an amazing story. You have great writing skills, and just because I didn't get the meaning of this, I hope that doesn't bring your mood down. :scootangel:

4836405
I was warned that it might confuse people by my editors.

But did I remove the bit about the breezies at the end? Nooooo.

For the record: after the meeting, they weren't talking about the breezies; they were talking about Discord. That's why Fluttershy was calling herself stupid and noting that no one really cared about the breezies; Celestia was speaking of Fluttershy's defense of Discord. They were "speaking in code", as it were.

As for how Fluttershy feels, there's a reason she says she isn't his friend. I think you might want to look for "what kind of friend" and look at the text around there, as she explains why she doesn't feel like she is truly his friend.

I'm glad you enjoyed my writing, even if it was confusing; you might enjoy some of my more straightforward works, like The Stars Ascendant a bit more, if you haven't read that already. Temptation also takes a very close look at a character's thoughts and is also more straightforward than this story, if you're into shipping.

This is a very compact story, even if a 10,000 word one-shot is considered "long" by certain standards. The words that are there are used to great effect, and say far more than what is on the surface.

By the way, while there were parts that I did reread several times, I didn't mind doing so. I often speed read my way through fanfics, but this one I had to slow down and really absorb. Overall, it was a pleasure. :twilightsmile:

4877687
This story was something of an experiment with "thick writing"; I was deliberately trying to make it feel like it was a heavier read than a lot of other things I've written, and I tried to put a lot into it. It actually lost more than a thousand words in editing, so it actually got more compact rather than less compact in editing, which is usually a good thing.

I'm glad you found it a good, enjoyable read!

If you enjoyed this, you might also enjoy The Stars Ascendant, which also features a conversation between Luna and Celestia about important things.

Trust by Bad Horse is another really great story, if you haven't read it already, which also features Celestia, and which also deals with the burden of responsibility.

We wish to know whether you believe he is making progress, or if we need to retrieve the Elements from the Tree of Harmony to once more return him to stone."

It seems I found a contradiction. Why would she say this if they both said that taking the Elements out of the tree would be out of the question? It happens once again here:

"How? When will he strike? We must send a letter to Twilight to bid her to fetch the Elements at once!"

Now, one could easily assume that the reason for the contradiction is statements is because it is implicit they would only use it if they are in dire need of them, but wouldn't that be counterproductive in the long run? I don't know.

Anyway, the story overall was very, very interesting. It's like The Stars Ascendant except with Fluttershy. You do a very good job of taking unresolved conflicts within the show (I would call this one, since it was just glazed over in those episodes). Besides that, I really don't have much to say about the story. It's just . . . solid. Once again, I find a story that is hard to make any comment on besides it being good because there isn't anything in here that really is worth discussing. It's all been discussed in the story.

Keep on being awesome, my friend!

4887890
Well, you more or less got the gist of it; only if the situation was dire would they risk removing the Elements from the Tree, or at least that was the idea behind it.

I'm glad you enjoyed my story (again) and that the story mostly covered its own bases.

Now to write like four more Luna and Celestia stories. I now have two in editing and two outlined. :pinkiecrazy:

But next up is probably me returning to my roots and writing a shipfic. Or more accurately, finishing the story I started writing before Crepes. :trixieshiftright:

4888047
And I'm over here, with my stories waiting to be either written or finished. I wish I was as dedicated to writing as some on this site. XD

4888058
Well, I have a set of short stories that will be published after the write-off judging has ended. So that will definitely be going up Sunday, barring me going crazy and deciding I need to heavily edit any of them. So most likely THAT will actually be the next thing I publish, unless I finish this story (which I'm guessing will clock in around 10-14k words) in the interim, which is, I think, unlikely (but not impossible; I've been known to write 6k words in a day).

But those stories have already been written; it is just that no one knows which ones are mine.

4888067
I'm looking forward to it! Also, another thing that I forgot to mention: semicolons. There are A LOT of them. While semicolons are useful punctuation, in bulk they become distracting and annoying in many instances. I'd tone down the usage of them. They should be used sparingly. Especially in this case. :rainbowlaugh: I've never seen someone use so many in a story. Your sentences hold more power if they have periods anyway.

Unless you were using them for a legitimate reason. Unfortunately, I don't see one here.

4888086
Lemme give you the feedback I got on my semicolon use in this story from my editors:

-Why do you like semicolons so much?

-You use so many semicolons.

-So many semicolons.

The sheer number of times you use semicolons rustles my jimmies for some reason. :P

You use so many semicolons.

I was going to disagree, because they didn't bother me. But I counted:

F's Night Out: 1 in 7200 words
Burning Man Brony: 10 in 9400 words
Moments: 10 in 11,000 words
D&Magician: 25 in 14,000 words
This story: 108 in 11,000 words

I will note that there are now only 105 semicolons in the piece... and it is more than a thousand words shorter than it was, so the semicolon density actually went up during editing. :rainbowderp: I used about 4-5x the average density of semicolons in this piece.

The primary reason for this is Fluttershy's thought process. I used semicolons in a lot of Fluttershy's thoughts, the reason being that I see Fluttershy as being very self-correcting; when she notices that Celestia is towering over her, and making her feel small, she immediately amends that thought with the idea that Celestia isn't doing it on purpose. Even in her own head, she doesn't want to be mean, or sound like she is slighting someone, even though she isn't.

I think that this ended up getting carried over to the descriptions.

It doesn't help that I think of Luna and Celestia as using a lot of semicolons in their speech, which ended up further increasing the numbers.

I also tend to find that semicolons, because they make sentences feel bulkier, make a story feel denser, so I may have been subconsciously using them frequently for that reason as well.

I also really, really love semicolons, though not all of my stories have so many of them; The Legend of Falling Rocks, Buffalo Brave boasts a mere 3 in 3k words. This story, with 105 in 10k words, has literally ten times as many semicolons per unit text (though Falling Rocks has an unusually low semicolon density).

I think the real issue is repetitive sentence structure more than anything else; there were a few points where I used semicolons in adjacent sentences, and the sentences were either too similar, or the text was repetitive and the semicolons drew attention to the repetition. I actually just went back through and removed a few issues that I found; were there any spots that you remember bothering you off the top of your head? Or was it just a general issue?

4888322
Well, I noticed extensive use of commas, so much so that many were comma splices, but if semicolons were for a reason, I know that commas must be.

It's rare for me to read a story that slots into the show so perfectly that I feel it must have happened, even though we never saw it.
Awesome, awesome story.

4913146
Amazing, all those things that the writers left out. Shame on them. Good thing we're here to shed light on things, eh? :raritywink:

I'm glad you enjoyed it. :heart:

That was... intense :twilightoops:. Have a like, a fav, a ribbon, and a feature recommendation
i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png

And disregard that addition to the adventure folder. Y tu fat fingers :facehoof:

4963839
Oh, wow, thank you for the feature rec! :twilightsmile:

I'm glad you've been enjoying my stories.

4964390
You are quire welcome. I am glad that you are writing enjoyable stories :raritywink:

This was an extremely good read. Your characterizations of Fluttershy and the Princesses are really well done; I've noticed Fluttershy, in particular, is hard to get "real", with her combination of often unreasonable shyness, kindness and quiet strength. She's wiser than she seems to allow for herself. The whole story fit nicely in place, giving a plausible and believable reason for Celestia and Luna to trust Discord in the finale.

Also, semicolons are possibly my favorite punctuation; I tend to indulge in them overmuch. So take heart that you're not the only one! :twilightblush:

4982968
Yeah, its kind of funny; a lot of folks are totally okay with the semicolons, but a few people are really bugged by the fact that I use them about four times as often as normal people do in this story. I think it might just be that there are a few sections where it is especially noticeable.

I'm glad you enjoyed it!

You might also enjoy The Stars Ascendant, if you haven't read it already; it also focuses very heavily on Luna and Celestia.

Holy crap, this was beautiful. Deep, thoughtful, had me jumping back and forth trying to comprehend everything, and feeling a wave of understanding and awe as I finally did. This story deserves every upvote and fave it's earned, and far more.

5079719
I'm glad you enjoyed it. That was the feeling I was going for with the story; that it had some sort of real significance to it, that it was actually meaty and no fleeting thing. I'm glad it worked so well for you.

I gotta admit that, when I wrote this, I was hoping it would recieve the same sort of response as The Stars Ascendant did, but I then realized afterwards that that was a wholly unreasonable and unrealistic expectation. :twilightblush:

Incidentally, I thought I recognized your name; I read your only story a while ago and enjoyed it, and was a bit sad today to see you haven't written anything else since.

Not that I'm, you know, implying anything with that observation. Just, you know, observing. With italics.

Hint hint. :trixieshiftright:

5079977
derpicdn.net/img/2013/4/24/306907/thumb.gif
Oh, um, yeah, about that. I've been writing, err, trying to write. it's just kind of difficult deciding where you want to go and wondering how you'll be on par with the last piece of work your produced and other writing stuff. Don't worry though, I'm trying my best to- heylookamoose

derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/12/1/169203__safe_animated_trixie_plot_cute_upvotes+galore_adorable_magic+duel_adorable+as+fuck_spoiler-colon-s03e05.gif

Well, it took me a very a long time to read the finished version. Reads pretty similarly, but the prose and dialogue are definitely are a lot tidier towards the beginning and middle than I remember. I still really love this characterization for Discord, that he wasn't really friends with any of them, and and he and Fluttershy both knew it. And also that he knew all along that he would eventually betray them, but was lonely and didn't really want to. It fits well into canon and adds a very believable extra dimension to his character, at least up to the last season finale. I also still think this fic goes on a little longer than it should and that the resolution would have been much stronger if it had ended a few paragraphs sooner. But your fic, your call.

I'm a little disappointed this didn't get more attention, though. It's quite good.

4888322
Semicolons make me feel like vomiting.

5275512
I'm glad that you found it to read more cleanly, and that you enjoyed my ideas as far as Discord went here. I'm rather fond of the story, too, and I was quite disappointed it did not fare better in the wilds of FIMFiction, but alas, such is life. I actually sent it to Equestria Daily a while back, and they gave me some feedback:

-Avoid use of comma splices
-Watch out for “talking heads”; some scenes have too much dialogue without a break to describe how the characters move or what’s happening in the surroundings.
-Fluttershy mentions loneliness as the reason for Discord’s behavior, and sounds less sure of her theory the second time than the first.
-The discussion with the princesses gets a little redundant.

Thematically, the story is good, and the characters are well written. Do a little polishing and it should be postable.

I would like to fix it so that it could go up there and get some more eyes on it, but we shall see, I suppose (and I have another story, We Can't Turn Back Time, which has less wrong with it according to them, so I'm planning on fixing that first).

I always have these grand visions for things I would like to do, but I don't always carry through on them, so we shall see. Still, it would be a pity to simply disregard their feedback utterly when they were nice enough to give feedback when they don't have to anymore.

Your editing (and the feedback of others) was a big help with polishing the story, and it wouldn't flow nearly as well as it does without the help you gave me.

This felt almost like a character study of Fluttershy, and I wholly approve. I've always considered Fluttershy one of the hardest of the Mane 6 to write for, but you managed it quite well.

I also approve of Celestia. I usually see her unintentionally written in a way that is frustratingly incompetent, but here she was respectable. And while I've never approved of the diplomatic 'snow queen' manner she puts on 95% of the time, you give a sense of purpose and unintended habit to it that I really like as a characterization.

Luna was just her usual Best Pony self. Not a thing to complain about with her.

The only annoying thing is that this probably leads to Celestia's colossal mistakes of "Twilight's Kingdom," which I continue to bemoan. Still, at least you gave it a plausible background reason.

5467088
I'm glad you found the characterization of Celestia and Fluttershy here believable; I really liked writing about them, and while the piece is an exploration of Fluttershy's character, it is meant to explore Celestia's character as well from a different view, and I liked the overall shape of the piece.

I really need to get on top of writing a couple other stories in this vein; I have a Luna-centric story, No One Will Notice, which is about Twilight asking Luna if she can borrow the Moon to practice on because, well, no one will notice; that one focuses on Luna, Celestia, and Twilight, and like this one is intended to slot into canon (in that case, prior to the season 4 premier). I also have another one which is Celestia-focused, Moving Heaven and Earth, which is set after season 4 and is about Celestia helping Twilight (and Cadance) practice moving the Sun and the Moon so that if something happens to Luna and Celestia... again... the day/night cycle will go on. But there are other reasons for wanting Twilight's company as well (and no, it isn't a shipfic, which I'm sure will terribly disappoint the Twilestia shippers. Not that I won't have published a Twilestia story before then, as I have one of those nearly done, too...).

Ah well. We'll see.

Anyway, thank you for the praise and feedback, I appreciate it. :twilightsmile:

5468327
No one will notice? Ouch. I think I'd really like that one in particular.

As a rule (and means of keeping control), I only permit one story per author in my RiL, but I look forward to reading more of yours.

5468386
Thanks, that's always nice to hear. :twilightsmile:

I probably should follow a rule like that. It would keep my Read it Later list from being four digits worth of stories. :unsuresweetie:

I do have my RIL - Recommended list, which is SUPPOSED to be for stories which I'm supposed to read NEXT, but it has gotten rather unwieldy as well. I may end up making a third shelf for "next in line" which I enforce a five story rule on.

And then will promptly break, knowing myself. :facehoof:

RereAd, still a perfect fluttershy

5509560
Always flattering to hear. Thank you! :twilightsmile:

That ending. I love it.

While reading I was expecting the story to fizzle out at the end, but it picked back up and really hit it home.

5574671
I was trying to tie environmental descriptions and motifs into the emotional core of the plot, and it is always nice to hear that the ending worked.

5574808 I can tell. I'll have to utilise that myself some time.

Probably the best Fluttershy story I've read. Very nice.

5668993
Thanks, I'm glad you liked it!

Fluttershy is an interesting character to write.

Have no idea if it's been said yet, but the choice of the breezies as an analogy for anything is stupid.

It is not a case of fear or paranoia. Literally everything in Equestria can kill these things. There is exactly one natural process they can be involved in without dying, and even then they need a delicate, engineered balance to survive!

For comparison, let us say there was a planet where the floor was lava, the air was sulfuric acid, every molecule was a razor blade and 99% of all living things wanted to stab you. According to this story, you are then called a gutless coward for never visiting.

A minor thing to harp on, I know, but it just really stuck out. The breezies aren't cowards, they're china in a bull shop.

This story was very nice, I really liked the discussión with Luna and Celestia and in general, Fluttershy caracterization; though, after this:

Uhm... I was wondering. That room had a lot of magic, and even though I'm outside, it doesn't feel right." She licked her lips nervously. "I was wondering, does it...?" She trailed off, unable to complete her thought. Fluttershy didn't know anything about magic, not really. If only Twilight was here, then maybe she could ask the question right, and not sound silly. Her eyes slid off of Celestia's face, focusing on the grass between her hooves.
"No."

I don't get what it's happening at all. I tried reading it again, but I still can't understand what they are talking about or what that end it's supposed to mean. Maybe I'm just being dense, I infer that has something to be with the "burden" of the responsability but... just, don't :rainbowhuh:

Yeah, so, also, you may noticed I'm in a frenzy of commenting your stories; it's just that I tend to read by author and while I always had know you by your comments and your reviews, I recently discovered ¡gasp! that you are also an pretty wicked author with a lot of fics so... :rainbowkiss:

Login or register to comment