A Little Talk With Mac
A Little Talk With Mac
Big Macintosh was what you'd call a simple pony; he worked on the family farm for as long as he could remember since he was a young colt. He was a big stallion, but kindhearted, and rarely spoke unless he had a reason to. Mac was never one for pointless conversation; and the simple words he used to answer questions were usually just, 'eeyep' and 'nope'.
But, regardless of what most ponyfolk thought, he did speak more then those two words, he just tended to talk more around family because he was comfortable, that and he was a stallion of action.
So, when his youngest sister, Apple Bloom, came up to him with a question that was both simple and even sort of embarrassing to talk about at the same time, he didn't really know how to answer it.
"So ...ya want ta know what, now?"
"Ah wanna know where babies come from," the small filly answered, looking up at her brother.
Big Mac could only wonder one thing at the moment. "Why don't you go ask Apple Jack, Ah'm sure she'll tell you plenty."
Apple Bloom sighed, giving a pout. "She was the first one Ah asked about it, but she ran off sayin' she had somethin' to take care of."
"Did she now." Mac should have expected as much, he knew that Apple Jack loved Bloom just as much as he did. But, when it came do to something like this, she was always the first to take off for the hills; as if they didn't have enough on the farm as is. "What about Granny?"
"She went to take care of some Apple business in Fillydelphia, remember?"
Oh, right. How'd Ah forget that? The red stallion sighed, shaking his head. If he was going to tell his sister about the birds and the bees, Celestia be damned, he was going to be comfortable while doing it. "Alright, then, how 'bout we go into the living room and Ah'll tell you all that ya want ta know," he said, looking down at the filly. Nodding, she smiled and trotted off into the next room.
Macintosh placed the pies he had been preparing into the oven, shut the door, then used his mouth to take of the flour covered apron, tossing it over the back of one of the chairs. He made his way out to the the living room, seeing that Apple Bloom was sitting there, waiting patently for him on the couch.
He took a seat next to her, and felt the nervousness kicking in. How do you tell a filly about where babies come from? It was his Pa who told him, and Granny Smith had been the one to talk to Apple jack about it; so it never occurred to him that he'd be the one to tell his little sister, he just always assumed that Apple Jack would be the one to do it when the time came.
Looks like Ah'm the one doing it, now. Maybe, I should just tell her the same way Pa told me, plain and simple, she'll understand, Ah'm sure.
"So, are you gonna tell me?" Apple Bloom asked anxiously, she was getting a bit restless with all the waiting and stalling everypony seemed to be doing. It made her wonder if the whole 'how babies are made' thing was that serious. She, for one, thought that parents would buy babies from the hospital with bits; they went in, then a few days later they came out with a baby. Though, she never understood why the mare's stomach got so big before that.
Big Mac let out a breathe, and scratched the side of his cheek with his hoof. It was now or never. No lies about a stork or something like that, just cold facts and hard truth. Just the way Pa did it. "Okay, baby sis', yer nine-years-old, old enough to find out about these types of things, and it might seem a bit ...gross. Celestia knows Ah thought it was at first, but bare with me."
"Alright, Ah'm listenin'."
And so, Big Mac started off The Talk, the same way his Pa had done with him. "Okay, when a Stallion and a Mare get together, sometimes it's fer different reasons. It could be love, like when their married or with their special somepony, or lust, depending on the two ponies involved. It starts off with kissing most of the time, then it escalates into what's called the heat of the moment; and when that happens, ponies will do something called sex. Now, sex is when-."
XxxxX
"-Then white stuff, called semen, comes out of the stallion and gos into the mare, and if the egg is fertilized, months later, maybe half a year, and a baby's born into the world kickin' and screamin'."
There it was, he did it.
Big Macintosh felt a bit of pride, the talk took about ten, maybe fifteen minutes tops, with questions in between, but he got through it. He wondered if this was the same way his Pa felt; knowing that the one you cared for was growing up into a young mare with the whole world ahead of them.
"So, ya got anymore questions?" Mac asked.
Apple Bloom had been sitting there quietly ever since her brother had began telling the last bit; all the stuff he had told her, she had no idea it would sound so weird ...and gross, Big Mac was right about the gross part. But, she wanted to be seen as a responsible young filly, so she wasn't about to voice it like most ponies her age would. "Ah can't really think of anything," she said, looking up at the red stallion. "Ya answered all the things Ah wanted to ask."
"Good," Big Macintosh said as he stood up off the couch on all fours and headed towards the front door. "Well Ah've gotta go handle somethin' in town, the pies in the oven should be done in about two hours. Ah should be back by then, so yer the mare of the house until Ah get back."
"Yay~!" Apple Bloom exclaimed, hopping off the couch, doing a dance. "Who mare of the house! Ah'm mare of the house! A to the P to the ...hey, wait a minute," the little filly stopped in mid-dance, looking over at Mac. "If the pies gets done before ya come back, can Ah take it out of the oven?"
"Nope," the stallion said, simply.
"Aw, please, Ah promise Ah'll be careful!" Apple Bloom begged, pouting and giving him the puppy dog look.
"Fine," Big Macintosh sighed, smiling a little. "If by chance the timer gos off before Ah get back, then fine, ya can take it out."
"Yes! Ah won't let you down, big brother!" Apple Bloom said, giving him a hoof salute.
"Ah know you won't, Apple Bloom."
Big Mac walked outside and closed the door, hearing the cheers of the little filly come through the front window. He looked up at the sky; his was sure his Pa would be proud of him for the way he handled things with little Bloom. Taking a deep breathe, he started down the steps and headed towards the dirt trail leading to Ponyville; his marefriend, Cheerilee, had told him take she had some type of news to tell him that afternoon, sent via, his sister, AJ.
Little did the red farm pony know, Apple Bloom wasn't the only one who had something to say about a baby.
Big Macintosh was in for the surprise of a life time.
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I really liked this, it was a cute story! You did a great job!
This was great (: The ending was especially cute!
To say the truth, I wasn't expecting anything from this one. Since I found it accidentaly... Now I finished reading it and I'm happy to say that I leave with a smile... Good job, loved it!
I thought AB would already know plenty about reproduction because she lives on a farm...
That was sweet.
I don't mean to sound harsh, but I want to leave some real honest feedback.
It's a cute little story, but everything was way too rushed. You pretty much skiped over the actual conversation, which was kinda dissapointing and made the story feel very empty. The cliche plot didn't help either. A bit of elaboration during the sex talk would have made the story a lot more interesting and given it a bit of a spark. Without that it's just a dull retelling of a generic story that's been done a million times before.
There were also some grammar errors, but nothing too major. Very simple stuff that could be caught by a proofreader.
I'll still give you a thumbs up for effort though, despite the flaws I still enjoyed it. No hard feelings
Aw so cute! Short and sweet, just how I like it!
I like the ending !
Good hook. Curious what ch2 will open up.
4089316
It's marked complete.
Dear celestia i cant believe this
there was no more
but itwas still good but please make more
4089116
Last I checked, apple trees don't @#%$.
4090510
They also raise livestock, duh....
Whoever downvoted this needs to join a support group
Accepted into the Sibling Story Stockpile.
Utterly adorable and funny!
I think you need to go over once again the importance of showing as opposed to telling.
This would have greatly increased reader engagement and involvement with the phenomenon. As it is, it's a cursory glance at an event that's already been told a great number of times, with nothing to really spark the reader's sympathies.
This is coming from a fellow who also wrote a story wherein "The Talk" takes place. To make it unique I made it so it was Spike, rather than a fully developed adult, who had been shoved into the hot-box in order to tell the CMCs about the changes that were occurring to their bodies. It was a crass and lurid comedic piece, but I made sure to develop each point in turn, and made sure to show each of the character's reactions. The hemming and hawing of the mane six as they tried to pass on the duty of telling three fillies about the facts of life, before in a gleeful shirking of responsibility, they decide to let Spike, still relatively young but already knowing about reproduction from Twilight's tutelage, teach the CMC instead. Then I show the worry, fright and discomfort Spike has with taking on a very adult responsibility, and he manages to pull it off. Then I show, though admittedly through a veil of my own that leaves a small amount to the reader's imagination, the CMC's reaction to the news, and the dissonance of their own body's reaction.
This story glazed over all the details that could have made it click. You don't get to see Apple Bloom interrupt with new questions, shiver at implications of her discovery when she connects them to the rest of her life, or frighten Big Mac with her candid acceptance of the facts.
And besides this, I honestly have to agree with 4089300 's statements. Though I'm not a generous upvoter. I took the time to read this and left feeling mildly disappointed. I wish you the best of luck in continuing to improve your writings.
4091846
I don't disagree with you, but as a bit of critique to your critique, I have to point out that it's generally considered bad form to directly compare your work to someone else's. By all means, point out what should have been done, say what you try to do in your own writing and so on, just don't say "I wrote this same thing, but better." It's not only rude, but it damages the objectivity of your critique.
4092697 I had a choice in how I approached this, give a specified example of something remotely similar, to better explain where improvements might be introduced, or go with a purely abstract explanation.
I went with the more concrete approach. The comparison was mostly on the basis of them being stories about "The Talk" rather than anything beyond that, and in writing the critique I focused specifically on the issue as much as I could with my own experience serving as contrast, that is, showing the character's reactions, as opposed to telling it.
That's just my approach. If I have a concrete example, I'll use it to inform the theory. If the author takes offense, then they can tell me.
You missed a brilliant opportunity to call your chapter "A LIttle Talk with Big Mac"
Anyhoo, my opinion is a little meh. The ending says this story isn't done, but I'm not sure what context we're going for. We skipped the sex talk bit (which I think was wise), Mac gave her the wrong number of months for a pony pregnancy, and then it was kind of left hanging. I'm not sure what you're trying to say as an author--
Will this be a story where Applebloom disbelieves what he said and goes to other ponies for wisdom? Is this a story where Applebloom shares this knowledge with everypony she knows? I'm interested to see where it goes, but you've gotta plot where a ship is going before you head out to sea, y'know. That is the purpose of the first chapter. I'm left not knowing if I WANT to know more. Give us a hint, give us something, write ONE MORE paragraph at the end to tell us what breed this story will be, and it'll be a perfect opening chapter.
Keep writing!
~Aegis
Cute, fresh.
Needs a little clean up for spelling and such.
I would like to see 'Big Mac's Big Surprise' as a follow up.
Write on dear author, write on.
4092996
Yea I saw that too. The average gestation length in a real mare ranges from 320 to 362 days. To use any other quantity in a story as short as this will feel off since, estimating a pregnancy length for native equestrian ponies is a rather advanced steep in world building, so it feels like it was careless writing when used without other inferences to support the idea that it was intentional.
My dear author about many user pressuring you for a continuation; I would like to add that while this story tends to leave readers unsatisfied, that's not necessarily a bad thing. Professional artist recommend to always leave the audience wanting more, as that's how they stay in business.
Also, I on the other hoof, felt that your story stands well on it's own, and that ending was a nice touch to the overall story; so don't feel like you have to continue it just to please your readers; as this ended in a strong note. I believe that ending in a strong note, and leaving the readers to speculate is better than elaborating indefinitely until the plot starts to get dull.
This was a nice story,
~Leonzilla
Dis needz sequel
We need a sequel with Mac's family learning the good news. Especially Applebloom realizing what they did and yelling, "You put your *Beep* in her *Beep*?" at the dinner table as Applejack just took a sip of something for an epic spit take.
see this is a cute little slice of life story. the type the fandom needs. if someone had gone "AH WILL SHOW YA HOW BABIES ARE MADE" this story would get 10 times the views and thumb ups from all the perverts that have flooded the fandom. Have a up thumb for a good clean story about a not so clean subject
4098613 YES!!!
I... well, it was cute in a sense. Not a "d'aww" sort of cute, but a nice slice of life depicting what every parent (Because who doesn't realized Big Mac is in a sort of parental role of sorts?) has to talk about at some point in life.
I don't think its appropiate for a male to impart this wisdom to a female, even if the male in question is a relative.
Bad AJ, abdicating your obligations!
Also... he seems to forget where he lives. Equestria! Where storks, peaches, and cabbages are more then clever ruses of flustered adults.
Oh. My. Bucking. God.
BIG MAC! She’s nine. Nine, Big Mac.
4101904
Or at least they should…
I read about some of the basics around age ten or eleven (I think) in a book my father’s mother gave me that described it in terms of how cows, dogs, and some other domesticated animals reproduce. After all of these years I don’t remember the title or author of the book, though. I remember it described some basic anatomy including some of the key functions of the heart, lungs, spinal cord, brain, stomach, intestines, etc. It also included some diagrams and it would have been published no later than the mid 80s. It was not a book about sex, but it was (somewhat vaguely) alluded to when it comes to animals and how they reproduce.
I would hear the rest of “the birds and the bees” in health class about three to four years later. My parents never actually told me about “the birds and the bees” (not even indirectly in terms of the cabbage patch or the stork). This may be in part because when my mother tried to explain it to my sister she didn’t understand the explanation she was given (probably because she was a few years younger than Apple Bloom is in this story) and she just assumed that I wouldn’t understand it either.