• Member Since 2nd Jan, 2014
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Quillamore


I’m cuckoo for Coco Pommel!

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Source

Despite what one might think, Big Macintosh has been head-over-hooves in love with Trixie since she first came to Ponyville due to her (over)confidence and how she doesn't swoon over him like some other mares do. So when she ends up running late for a show while taking a temporary residence in Ponyville, Big Macintosh offers to return a book she borrowed from Twilight's library. However, Trixie implies that the legend written within it has a secret connection to her and her life, and Big Mac can't help but check out the book for himself in hopes of finding out more about her past. And that's when the questions start to pile up: just how is Trixie connected to Cantiolanus, the soldier in the book? Is being with Cheerilee so often to dissect the story making him think of her as more than a friend? And most important of all, how can someone like him, who's tethered to his land, possibly be with an artistic nomad like Trixie? Who will have to make the big sacrifice?

Inspired by a movement within the fandom to create more "eccentric" shippings. Each part begins with a portion of the Cantiolanus legend so that the reader can truly interact with the story. A rom-com for English nerds and hardcore bibliophiles.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 20 )

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4081445

Precisely why I called it that. That's one of my favorite songs, and I thought it suited it. At first, I was wavering about whether I should call it that, and as I thought that and walked into a restaurant, I heard it playing. Glad you noticed. ::yay::

Interesting concept, and it's an interesting way to explore the ship. Although Trixie and Mac have been shipped before, most of the times it's her going after him and primarily for his physical qualities. Seeing him wanting to court her, for the individual she is - recognizing that she's likely a decent pony underneath, and that her sins cannot be so great that she doesn't deserve some respect - is an intriguing approach. It might also serve to deepen his intellectual qualities; he's commonly seen as intelligent (thanks to that 'fancy mathematics' line from Applebuck Season, which wasn't supposed to be taken that way anyway) but it's rarely shown how.

The story seems a bit rushed, though. There's a lot of stuff that we could have learned better from showing, not telling. For instance, the fact that Mac is crushing on / in love with Trixie. He basically comes out and tells it straight off. You could easily have padded it out with more scenes, like (off the top of my head) a scene in the marketplace where she walks by and he gets all flustered or nervous or needs to look impressive or whatever in response. I want to see him be in love with her (and why), not just get told.

Also, Trixie's dialogue seems a little forced. She basically walks out and spews a torrent of words at him without provocation. I understand the point - she identifies with the plight of the book's main character, and Mac needs to catch this and realize that he'd like to know more - but it feels forced and unnatural. I can't see Trixie spilling her heart to a pony she's not really close to (and the story gives the impression that they will grow closer in time). If I could make one bold recommendation: after he's offered to return the book, she thanks him and is about to go, when he asks why she likes it so much. He'll be a bit surprised at himself for speaking up like that, and she, secretly happy that somepony is taking an interest in something she likes, mentions how she identifies with the character. That would feel a bit more natural.

Also, Trixie isn't speaking in third person. That is unacceptable. It's one of her most common traits, after all. :trixieshiftright:

All in all, interesting story, will follow.

4082044

There's a reason why Trixie seems to be acting a bit OOC in this part, which'll be explained later. Basically, there's a whole different side to Trixie, and the one we think we know is a facade. The real Trixie is a lot different, still with the same sort of cockiness, but some of her mannerisms (like the third person) are just things she does as part of the "character" she played in her life before reading the play.

4084146 Well, that is interesting. In that case, I retract that part of my criticism. (I wasn't too serious about it to begin with, though.)

I still contend that it feels a bit rushed, but I'm confident that you know what you're doing.

Ja, Continue, Bitte.

over all I like it, but i do have some criticisms. The main one is Trixies little speech about how she relates to the book. the speech as a whole does feel forced as mooncalf said before me but that’s not the main problem with it. The problem is it is long enough for me to feel justified in calling it a speech. while it is in character for Trixie to be wordy, her current problem is that she is short on time. Basically, you need to cut it down to her commenting on how she relates to the books hero, and a little about how it would help others get her, sense those are the immediate plot points in there. I would also recommend having her start to go on but cut herself off do to time, if you want to keep that almost rambling feel of the speech. If other details she mentions, such as her reluctance to get her own copy, are relevant find some time in a later chapter to put them in, when Trixie isn’t in such a rush. Anyways, good luck on the next chapter.

"eccentric shippings" YES! :eeyup:Someone who gets this ship! Because I don't like the term 'Crack":yay:

You have stumbled across the ship that Martian turned into my favorite ship.

You're a good person.

If he's going to whom I think he's going to, I have to see how this turns out. Probably something along the lines of this: :twilightoops:)

4794830

I'm working on the second part right now. :twilightsmile:

I look forward to seeing how this story progresses.:twilightsmile:

5171327 Thanks. It's taking me awhile, but I'm working on the second part now. :twilightsmile:

Good stuff :twilightsmile:

What issue number is that My Little Pony comic in the cover art?

6004044

Just looked it up, and it's Issue 9, Larry's Comics edition. There's also one where Cheerilee is in Roman attire. I just thought it suited the overall theme too well to not use it.

An interesting development.

its been forever since you had gone and now im happy to se you are back to writing :D

I want to see more of this just because it's the polar opposite of my Trixie/Mac fanfic

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