Sweetie Angel
It has now been a week since the death of Sweetie Belle. Scootaloo and Applebloom were back to crusading the best they could. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were really grounded and always saddened. Spark Light had not come back ever since the incident, but what about Rarity?
The Mane Six were going to the Carousal Boutique to check on Rarity. She had not set hoof outside for the week. Twilight Sparkle nervously knocked on the front door of the boutique.
"Rarity, you in there?" she called.
No answer.
"Rarity, oooohhhh Raaaaaaarityyyyyyyyy!" Pinkie Pie called.
Still no answer.
Applejack reached out to turn the door knob but found it locked. Fluttershy was growing more worried. Finally, a click was heard. Rainbow Dash opened the door.
It was a sickening sight. Bits and scraps of fabric lay torn up all over the floor. There were shattered dishes in the kitchen. Spools of thread were tangled in knots and strung about.
However, Rarity was the worse sight. Her mane hadn't been touched at all; it lay tangled and split at the ends, with no shine or bounce in it. Rarity turned her head to look at her friends. Her eyes were reddened and dried out of tears. Tear stains in a gray color ran down Rarity's cheeks. Her blue eye shadow was smeared in places it shouldn't be. Her normally snow white coat was gray and dusty from a week of no bathing. She was scarily thin from eating literally nothing.
Pinkie Pie's mane fell flat and her color darkened.
"R-Rarity?" she stuttered.
When Fluttershy saw Rarity, she raced away feeling sick to her stomach. Applejack came closer to Rarity.
"H-hey, you wanna talk?" she stammered.
"Not in the slightest," Rarity rasped.
"Your really don't look good, you should eat something," Rainbow Dash said.
"I-I'm not hungry," Rarity said with a sharp cough.
"But you'll starve to death," Rainbow Dash pointed out.
"Then I'll be with Sweetie Belle again," Rarity said flatly.
"Geez, Rarity! We couldn't stand losin' another pony!" Applejack exclaimed.
Rarity ignored. Fluttershy returned looking very pale. Twilight wrapped one of her large wings around Fluttershy.
"Rarity, I know this is hard to go through. We all know, but isolating yourself away from your friends, having nopony to talk to, and pitying yourself so much can be very dangerous to your health," said Twilight.
"Oh really, how?" Rarity demanded.
"Constant stress and depression weakens your immune system. Worst of all, though, is that your depression is slowly killing you," Twilight said sadly.
"There is no time for egghead topics! Rarity is...is...is she dying?" Rainbow Dash asked softly.
"It is possible, but we can hopefully help her in time," said Twilight.
Rarity faced all of her best friends. She didn't want to go out in her sadness, but perhaps the refreshing air of the outdoors would help. She considered it.
"Fine, I'll go out," Rarity finally decided.
Pinkie Pie cheered. Everypony was very relieved.
"But my mane looks like a phoenix nest!" Rarity cried.
"See, Rarity. You're already gettin' back to normal," Applejack laughed.
Rarity rushed away to fix her, well, everything. It took a long while. While waiting, the ponies talked to each other about all that has happened.
"So much has changed. Ah walked through Ponyville today, and many citizens who had heard about Sweetie Belle's death said that they wanted her back," AJ said.
"I was affected, too. I didn't take a single nap this week," Rainbow Dash said next.
"I was wondering why you were so grumpy. No offense or anything," Fluttershy piped up.
"Yeah, no naps mean I'm not a happy camper," RD replied.
There was silence until Rarity burst into the room, looking fresh and brand new. Her mane was back to its gloss, and her white coat was as bright as ever. Her eye shadow had been fixed. Besides the bags under her still red eyes and a thin body, Rarity looked completely normal and healthy once again.
"Rarity! You look so dashing!" Pinkie Pie chanted.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.
"So, can we go out and eat together? Ya need it desperately," said Applejack.
Despite filled with grief still, Rarity's stomach rumbled. She blushed and smiled for the first time in a while. Pinkie Pie was ecstatic seeing Rarity happier again.
The Mane Six and Spike went out together for a treat. Rainbow Dash preformed some stunts to improve the mood. It worked well. Rarity wolfed down all the food she ordered in front of her. She was not eating like a lady.
"Slow down before ya choke to death!" Applejack laughed.
"NEVER! THIS FOOD IS ALL MINE!" Rarity shouted, proving that she was back.
Sweetie Belle, in the heavens above, smiled down at her older sister.
"Good job, big sister. I'm so very sorry for everything that has happened," Sweetie said in the clouds high above.
----------
Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, and Spark Light were allowed outside again. Many ponies snorted upon seeing them.
"I didn't want this to happen at all," Tiara almost whispered.
"I can only imagine how upset her family is," Spark Light added.
"Now everypony hates us," Silver Spoon said.
"Hello, girls," Sweetie Belle all of a sudden said.
The three looked up to see a glowing, translucent figure. It was Sweetie Belle without a doubt. A angel halo hovered above her mane, and a pair of golden and white wings rested on her sides.
"Sw-Sweetie B-Belle?" Spark Light stammered.
"It's me, you three. You're right," said Belle.
Diamond Tiara felt tears rush down her face.
"We're all so so sorry! B-but...oh, who am I kidding? You'll never forgive us!" she said through sobs.
"Well, it was my decision to jump off Ghastly Gorge, so I'm not quite sure," Sweetie Belle replied.
"Well, we feel just awful! We never knew this would be so painful!" Diamond Tiara cried.
Sweetie Belle smiled.
"Well, if you three feel this guilty, then I'm impressed," she assured.
"Th-thank you, Sweetie Belle," Silver Spoon thanked, refusing the nickname "blank flank".
----------
"So, Rarity, how are you doing now?" Twilight asked.
"I'm doing much better. Thank you so much," Rarity answered.
"No problem. We never let each other suffer alone," Rainbow Dash said.
"She's right, Rarity," Sweetie Belle piped up.
"Oh my gosh! Is that really you?" Twilight asked Sweetie Belle.
"It is me. I'm just a angel now. Big sister, I have to apologize. I shouldn't have blamed you for you dress making getting the best of you," said Sweetie Belle.
Rarity was speechless. She couldn't believe her eyes. She attempted to hug Sweetie, but found she went right through her.
"Rarity, I'm afraid you can't hug me now. I'm a spirit," Belle said.
"Sweetie Belle, I-I miss you so much!" Rarity cried.
"I miss you, too. Don't ever forget that. I must go now, but I hope this last goodbye was worth it," Sweetie Belle said with a smile.
A blinding light glowed. Everypony shielded their eyes. With a flashing noise and a puff of steam, Sweetie Belle was gone. Really gone. Rarity wasn't too sad anymore; she felt better.
"Goodbye, Sweetie Belle, for giving me a great life. I love you," Rarity said as a lone tear fell into the very spot Sweetie Belle was standing in just a moment before.
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Sad...
But the ghost thing really ruins the setting.
One letter
D
and no not for Dicks
D for depressing as all hell!
Love it!!!!! Do more!
I'm starting to tear up (SO MANY FEELS!) curse you and you artistic talent in Sad & heartwarming stories!
Short but sweet
(Sniff)...yes,do more sad fics
One sec, I need to go throw up into a potted fern and then look at pictures of kittens. There's a such thing as a "depressing" threshold, and you god-damn crossed that motherfucker like a finish line.
Fucking sad stories. why do people read this shit
like yeah I'm bored today lets go get sad 'cuz everyone loves being sad
if i was bullied to suicide i wouldnt just forgive them off the bat id set a punishment or something before i did forgive them
Nice way to jump the shark there author
Kay people, I'll fix the scene with the group hug.
(sorry, that's in a different chapter)
4035994 Will do! Prepare your boxes of tissues!
What to say about this story...hmm...it's something. It's definitely something. I can't really say it's great, but it's certainly not bad.
I'll admit, you have an interesting premise a lot of people can relate to, and you have some feelings down pact; but it's really the execution that leaves me wanting more. Everything felt so rushed and distant and the characters almost seemed robotic at times, simply going through the motions. Many were almost entirely pointless and served nothing to the plot. For example, you introduced a new bully for Sweetie and then did nothing to develop her and her history with Sweetie outside of telling us that she was mean. Then she said a mean thing to Sweetie and that was as far as we knew she was as a bully. I know this is such a over used thing to say, but it still rings true. Show. Don't tell.
This story could have been great if it was expanded further. If we could see a little deeper into Sweetie's sorrow. Maybe show us a day or two of Sweetie getting bullied on her own. Detail how she feels and get a bit deeper into it. You're writing a story through a medium of words. Since you don't have visual or audible ways to convey feeling, you have to use your words. Paint a picture, not a doodle.
All in all though, you have a knack for causing feels, but I think it comes more from the premise of your story than the story itself. But with a little work, some care and affection, you could be filling your swimming pool with the tears of your readers. Just something to think about.
A bit quick, especially at the end, but not a bad story. Nice job, hope someday you can expand on the scenes a bit more if at least near the end, too many scenes sort of flew by.
Nice job.
*slams head through desk* why all the feels....
I love the premise and plot, but I wish there was a little more detail... Come to think of it, this is the kind of story I would love to edit.
...........
*keyboard breaks from tear and sadness overload*
I do not doubt your writing talent, it's great and you can achieve the wonderful results, but if sadfics like this pointless one is what you're going to make... I'd honestly suggest you just ignore that talent of yours...
4104313 This sadifc is not my favorite. Don't worry, I'll write different kinds in the future.
4046181 Sorry for a late reply, but you gave me a good idea for a separate story!
Pretty much, it will show Sweetie Belle and her relationship with Spark Light.
4419864 I fixed that.
I'll just be over here. On my ship. Sailing in my sea of tears.
4046181 Oh, and by the way: when I said that I would write a story about Sweetie Belle and Spark Light, I guess wasn't ready. I need ideas, so for now, no story about that.
Really? THAT'S all you can say when somepony dies, Silver Spoon?
You conceited BITCH!!
Let this be a lesson to all of you to never bully. This story is a good example of what could happen if you tease someone over and over again. I have to admit the story is sad. So the moral/lesson of this story is to never bully anyone. Even if they do not seem like everyone else or act like everyone else. This also applies to race, gender, and religion. I hope this story can teach kids a lesson about bullying even though it is rated teen.
I hope Rarity never ends up like this 
ever.
I think you mean "thank you for giving...".
Also very emotional! I really like it; not many people can pull a decent, truly emotional story without making it completely SUCK. Hats of to you, my friend; yet another brilliant masterpiece from JourneyCatMLP! I'm satisfied.
4600086 And I'll be over here. In my Space Battlship Yamato. In the galaxy of tears. Giving a wave motion gun salute.
5161675 I'm honored! Thank you, Majestic!
I really like this story, and I have an idea for a sequel. In it, it's several years later, when the CMC are teenagers. pony-memorial day is coming up, and all of Ponyville is coming to mourn at Sweetie's grave, like they do every year. And every year, Rarity's and the CMC's remaining grief just grows worse. So this year, AB and Scoots are going to try a resurrection ceremony to try and bring Sweetie back. Rarity finds out and gets convinced to join in.
So how about it?
5232358 Oh lawd....resurrection.....I don't know.....
The thing is, when a character dies in a story of mine, they're permanently gone. I wouldn't know how to bring them back.
(Also, I have yet to learn how to link prequels on sequels.
)
4035692
You comment on every story I read!
I agree with onagamail, that the story was too short and rushed, to do it justice. the characters were acting very uncharacteristic to there canon selves. their reactions seemed to be kind of glossed over, which kept the feels generator in first gear. rarity perked up too quickly, to seem as devastated as she was supposed to be. one second she was on the verge of suicide herself, and the next minute she was too much, back to her old self.
You magnificent bastard!!
You made me cry..........
5784439
It's been years since I've written this, and I can do much better now.
But honestly, I've had an issue with writer's block for a long time now.
5161675
A masterpiece. Wow. I'm flattered.
I'm very humble by nature, so this is quite a comment.
this was truly inspiring, even if it was a bit saddening but it was still good
I like this story but is kinda fast, it feels like seeing an unrealistic car accident to the point where it's seems comical, but is showed in a video constantly reminding you that you're supposed to be sad, so the emotions combined results in nothing.
Besides that, good story.