Sweetie Belle's Suicide
Sweetie Belle awoke. She rubbed her stinging eyes then exited her bedroom. She turned and took one more look at her bedroom before retrieving a piece of paper and pen from a cabinet. She crouched down and wrote:
Rarity, my big sister,
I cannot live anymore, for bullying gets to me more than anypony else. I can't let it out through anger and rampage, nor fighting back. All I can do is drown in a bottomless sea of guilt, pain, sadness, and displeasure. Rarity, despite the fights we always have, I will always love you, no matter what happens. The dresses you make are beautiful. You put so much time and effort into making them perfect. You're not just generous, but patient.
I must leave this cruel world now. I serve no purpose. All I do is whine and cry about bad situations. Sure, I guess I sing well, but I could never sing in front of ponies. I would be obviously scared, which would make them laugh. All I can say is, goodbye forever, Rarity.
Love, Sweetie Belle.
When Sweetie Belle was finished she got another sheet of paper and wrote a note to Applebloom and Scootaloo.
Applebloom, Scootaloo, you must read this,
I have decided to end my dark life. I mean it, that wasn't a typo. Everyday I'm ridiculed for both lacking the ability of magic and the fact that I'm weak and helpless. More than you guys, believe it or not, bullies come to me, but this is when you are not around. Nopony notices my sorrow; my pain. I try to keep a positive attitude. I love both of you like sisters. You're not like most fillies who laugh and point, you care about me.
I hope you guys get awesome cutie marks some day! When you pass, I'll be happy to see them. Scootaloo, learn how to fly well, and Applebloom, grow strong.
From, Sweetie Belle, your PFF and a fellow Cutie Mark Crusader.
A tear dripped onto the floor. Sweetie Belle wasn't kidding about being bullied daily. Unicorns especially would boast about being able to teleport and levitate heavy objects easily. One day, a unicorn who loved targeting Sweetie Belle the most saw her let out mere sparks while straining to pick up a little book. This pony's laughter made Sweetie Belle quit and lose faith. Ever since then, she refrained from practicing magic, meaning she's not good at it today.
"Sweetie Belle, are you awake?" Rarity called.
Sweetie Belle quickly stuffed her notes inside the cabinet in the very back where Rarity wouldn't reach back to. She couldn't give Rarity hers just yet.
"Yes, Rarity!" Sweetie called back.
"Let's eat breakfast before you're late for school," Rarity said with a smile.
Sweetie fake grinned. She followed Rarity into the kitchen. Rarity hummed Winter Wrap Up while cooking some eggs while Sweetie Belle waited. Belle rubbed her hoof across the table for the last time.
"Is something bothering you, Sweetie?" Rarity asked.
"N-no! Nothing is going on!" Sweetie Belle lied.
Rarity didn't think she should take her sister seriously, but she decided to shrug it off.
I'll just clean up any mess Sweetie Belle made after she leaves for school, Rarity thought.
Sweetie Belle ate breakfast slowly. She wondered how the other Crusaders and Rarity would react to this.
I have to admit that they would be hurt a lot, Sweetie thought.
After breakfast Sweetie Belle brushed her teeth and packed her saddlebags. She waved to Rarity before setting off. She had left the note for Rarity in her bedroom because she didn't go there often. She was most of the time in her work room.
"I'll give Scootaloo and Applebloom their note after school lets out," Sweetie Belle said to herself.
----------
The school bell rang just as Sweetie Belle sat down. Her ears fell.
Oh yeah, Scootaloo isn't here, she thought.
Applebloom showed up a moment later. She waved to Sweetie Belle then sat down. Cheerilee was at her desk grading some language arts worksheets she forgot about. After everypony made it inside Cheerilee cleared her throat.
"My little ponies, I'm going to be passing back your language arts papers from yesterday," she announced.
When Sweetie Belle got hers, she discovered she had a C. Applebloom had a B+. Sweetie mumbled. She always did better than this. Sweetie Belle was now wishing she had written a farewell note for Cheerilee. Cheerilee very much enjoyed having her in class.
I'll just write a note for Ms. Cheerilee during lunch or recess, Belle thought.
----------
At recess, Sweetie Belle wrote a note saying her goodbyes to Cheerilee. When she finished she sniffed and wiped her eyes.
And I know Ms. Cheerilee would be upset, too, Sweetie Belle thought.
The school seemed to drag by much slower than yesterday's. The bell rang. Everypony crowded around the exit into freedom. Applebloom caught up to Sweetie Belle whom had run ahead.
"Sweetie Belle, why did you run away?" Bloom asked.
Sweetie Belle didn't answer, she just reached into her saddlebag and pulled out the note she wrote. Cheerilee's was on her desk.
"Here, give it to Scootaloo after you read it," Belle said before trotting away.
Applebloom stared, then went to go get Scootaloo. Sweetie Belle paced along Ponyville's street one last time. She stopped at Ghastly Gorge. She looked down. It was such a far drop that Sweetie Belle felt dizzy looking down it. She had never liked heights.
"Look, there's Sweetie Fail!" somepony exclaimed.
Sweetie Bell looked up. She was horrified. It was Spark Light, the name of the unicorn who loved to hurt her, along with none other than Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Belle lowered to the ground, her hooves glued in place.
"So, Sweetie Fail, want to show us how you do 'magic'? Spark Light said with a hoot.
Sweetie Belle backed up to the edge of the cliff.
"No, I'll show you this," she said, those being her last words.
Sweetie Belle threw off her saddlebags and jumped off the cliff's edge. She did not scream as she fell, she just braced for impact in case she didn't die right away. The three bullies at the top were hysterical. They looked down at Sweetie Belle growing smaller and smaller.
THUD!
Diamond, Silver, and Spark winced. They peeked down again. A tiny white blob could be seen inside an even bigger red blob. Silver Spoon vomited on the spot. Sweetie Belle at the bottom screamed from immense pain before finally being embraced in the relieving blackness of death.
"Dear Celestia...this is all our faults..." Diamond Tiara trailed off.
Many ponies were attracted by the ruckus going on next to Ghastly Gorge. There were voices everywhere. Spark Light was weeping loudly. She never expected this. The police were called quickly. They showed up and an officer talked to Diamond, Silver, and Spark.
"So, you saw her jump off?" he asked.
"Y-yes, sir," Tiara answered.
"I admit it! We were jerks to here and we really hurt her feelings to the point of doing...this!" Spark Light admitted.
The cop nodded. Still there was commotion. Applebloom and Scootaloo were rushing everywhere with tears filling their eyes. They constantly called Sweetie Belle's name. Finally, they came across a mob grouped around Ghastly Gorge. They were shocked to see Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara there.
"What's going on?!" Scootaloo asked impatiently.
Silver Spoon raced up to AB and Scoot.
"You guys, Sweetie Belle jumped off of Ghastly Gorge! I-I think she's dead now!" she said.
This sunk in to Bloom and Scoot.
"N-no...this ain't real," Applebloom moaned.
Scootaloo pounded her hooves on the ground in fury.
"And...it was mine and..." Silver Spoon stuttered.
"And our faults!" Diamond Tiara cried.
Spark Light stood next to her.
"W-we were picking on her...and she jumped off," Spark said flatly.
Scootaloo and Applebloom could see the guilt on the bullies' faces. However, Scootaloo refused to be in anyway sympathetic.
"Seriously, you guys made Sweetie Belle do this to herself?! I can't believe you!" she snarled.
The bullies felt worse; they backed up. Applebloom's face hardened.
"Ya'll turn yer flanks and scram! We'll never ever forgive ya!" she added.
That's just what Diamond, Silver, and Spark did.
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NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!
4035411 yyyeeesss!!!!!!!!!!
No!!!!! Sweetie died!
I was on the verge of tears when all of a sudden, my mom calls me to unclog the toilet.
R.I.P Sweetie Belle; you will be missed.
So as I was reading I was drinking water,ya...almost choked
[youtube=MS91knuzoOA]
Listen to the lyrics, or look them up.
really? they pick on her enough to jump of a cliff and you hug them? wheres the anger? wheres the violence the screaming and yelling you dont just go up and hug your friends bullies/killers
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H61hy7irX4M
I dedicate the above song to Sweetie Belle. Rest In Peace little one... *begins crying*
*Growls as Golden Tears form in my eyes*
Hmm.. I wonder what does raw Bullies taste like?
I'll take a moment to rip apart this craptastic fanfiction! Normally, I don't do first impression comments until I read it to the end, but there are some things I need to address.
I wasn't drawn to Sweetie Belle's emotional trip because the story itself is a scribble of mess trying to be artsy. No disrespect to the writer, but if you want to have her act broken, at least go past beyond petty bully antics. Okay, Spark was a nice addition, but she's so ungodly bland and one dimensional. She has no character, no speech pattern to call her own, and no personal flaws. She should be centered as Sweetie's breaking point and given character. You could have done so much with her dialogue. Maybe she stutters, has troubles pronouncing certain vowels or consonants. I don't know!
And oh my God! The pacing! One minute I'm reading Sweetie Belle dialoguing with Apple Bloom in school, and in the next paragraph, she's at Gastly Gorge with her tormentors! WHAT?! You... could have expanded the transition between school and after school time! Have her tell her tormentors she'll perform magic at Gastly Gorge. They'll met with her there! Even the plot was rushed! How did Apple Bloom and Scootaloo know where to find them? Lack of information, JourneyCatMLP
Those are my problems. You should have centered Spark as Sweetie Belle's breaking point, give her personality, and fill in gaps between paragraphs. As an avid reader, I've been picking up on problems like these, trying to offer the wisdom I bear and earn.
The point is, JourneyCatMLP, this story is a scribbled mess of art. I don't expect you to fix them all, but keep this in mind for your future writing?
Give me a reply if these ideas are helpful. Lest you find problems with my critiques, send a private message. I'll talk to you there.
Feels, feels, and more feels.
.....
..........................................................
(Endless crying.)
I can't hold it back, I must..........
I CANT BELIEVE IT! SWEETIE'S GONE!
Fist-feels, meet me-face.
Also: Im not sure how, but it kinda feels a lil fake. Its good, dont get me wrong!! But......well....
Press F to pay your respects. (Just kidding)
But still, heartbreaking. Sweetie is my favorite of the 3.
Farewell Sweetie, farewell.
fare well sweetie belle u shall be missed
I remained dry-eyed and unmoved.
....
I think I'm a monster.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO SWEETIE BELLE!
