(Story rewrite incoming in the near feature.)
Victoria is hanging out at a convention for a game she knows next to nothing about, only there to enjoy the time being spent with her best friends. While there she's given a small blue ring from a vendor, pokes fun of some cosplayers, eats a lot and over all enjoys the atmosphere the convention as to offer.
It's only when she wakes up as a bird the size of a small falcon with no memory as to how and where she is, does Victoria break down and begins crying for help. Her cries are answered in the form of a young phoenix named Philomena.
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(Story Theme)
Story concept (human enters Equestria from a magical artifact) is inspired by the Humans Acting Villainous group
This story takes place after the season 3 intro.
Credit for this fantastic image goes solely to its creator Charaki
Actually, this story does not fit into the League of Humans Acting Villainous group's paradigm, since the human in question was transformed rather than merely being in costume. So, it's more along the lines of Humans Turned ??? or other groups dedicated to transformations that aren't strictly human-to-pony. That in itself was a minor bandwagon a while back that was kicked off by Seriously? and similar stories.
———I can't believe I know all of this.
3999852
Haha its ok man XD To be honest I wasn't sure if it fit in the group at all other than the concept of a human buying an artifact and ending up in Equestria. I have a lot of the back story planed and everything but like I mentioned in the authors note, I wrote this to get it off my mind and see if there was any real interest before investing more time into it.
And thanks for mention that group to me P.T, I wasn't aware it existed.
3999871
Multiple of them exist.
...For some reason.
—Even though they all serve the exact same purpose.
3999880 Everybody either doesn't look to see if it already exists or they just wanted to be in charge. It's people after all. :)
4000439
Listen, I'm just going by the rules posted in the group. That I'm not even a part of nor even have interest in.
I can't help but give this bird the appearance of Blackfrost Anivia from LoL.....
But this is damn interesting.
4001707 Thats because the image is Black Frost Aniva and Victoria was "cosplaying her before entering Equestria. Since there is an interest in the story I'm going to be investing the time to write it out. The only reason they're refer to her by Victoria the Frost Phoenix is because she doesn't really know Anivia's lore and gave them her name when she first met them.
Plus I'm assuming the ponies wouldn't know what the term cyro would mean anyway.
4001807
Now I look at the image carefully I can see it is Anivia. And you are continuing to write? EXCELLENT.
Please continue
She is kinda like black frost anivia then.fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/130/2/6/blackfrost_anivia___render_by_veina2-d64ro1k.png
4037037 Correct, at this point I'm not sure if I'm going to either have Victoria's back story fully explained or just give bits and pieces thought out the story. But if I forgo explaining her backstory than I did plan on possibly making a prologue story chronicling Victoria's first years in Equestria.
Not sure if people would like reading her back story or would they prefer vague details and just fill the rest in on their own?
4040884 Hint the back story and give away parts at a time. Going back and straight out explaining it means that you can't change what happen in the past as you go, so if you get a really good idea you can't change the story to add it. This is why just reference it makes it easier and better. You can also do the whole 'Celestia will pay for what she did' thing but only hint to what she did rather than explaining it, making people want to see what Celestia actually did to make Victoria as angry as she is (Which you can explain fully, later in the story).
Explaining a back story can also be very hard to do, and going back to do it is usually not very useful. Obviously the first few days are confusing as all hell, but we don't really need the details.
All in all, just hint at it and maybe throw in a couple of memory's but don't go and straight out explain it. At least not until the end where everything will start to make sense.
I'd rather the tragedy tag not be there, but what I see so far is pretty good. Looking forward to the story.
4042163 To be honest that tag is just there since I'm unsure what to use. I don't think this would classify as an adventure and for sure won't be a comedy but given certain events in the characters past I thought the tragedy tag would be the best choice.
4042216 ...Uhm...Slice of Life? Drama? ...So far it isn't crossover because I don't see another character from a separate fandom, (because an OC dressing up like something else isn't that character), and there isn't anything sad so far as to warrant the tragedy tag.
4041300 Very insightful and thank you for posting it. By explaining the backstory, what I mean is I'm trying to avoid how the other villain stories would have nothing but talking, a flashback and then are free with god mode powers.
I like detail and description but most of all I love it when a story is able to make its self believable without coming off as one sided. So going to the memory thing it is becuse of that logic I'm not sure if I should stop a scene to have a memory or just sprinkle the back story to keep the story moving without interruptions. I understand what you are saying and I agree with it but I kinda like when I have to work to find out what happened. :)
4042225 true on the crossover tag... I only added because most stories had it as their tags( which is actually a poor excuse) but a s.o.l tag? I never would have thought about using that since I figured the story be the standard flare where good wins.
I'll have to think about this more, thank you for the idea.
4042266 Good tags are about a quarter of the battle.
was sombra her partner?
4069226 I'm going to go on ahead and answer this question because I feel this question won't be answered within the story.
After Victoria's death, Celestia called on her allies from the Crystal Empire to watch over and house the egg. The current Knight at the time was Sombra who took a personal role in guarding it, but fell under the influence to the lingering dark magic around it. The reason this won't be mentioned is because the ponies still don't recall anything under his reign over the empire, except before and after.
And for those that may have seen an update for the story but now can't find it, I apologize for that. I'll admit I rushed over this chapter to get it out, and overall wasn't to happy with the pacing and way the chapter went. So I'm going to do the right thing and fix this chapter.
4040884 it really it all depends on how you do the back story, taht make people like, dislike or are infifferent to the backstory
I'll follow on the hope you follow with more
I like it. The world is just one big canvas for her and she is painting it with snow and ice. I can believe this and that is what I like about it.
Ok....so a sort of 'upgrade' release?
4243800 Not sure what you mean by a "upgraded" release. If you mean Victoria going around and freezing everyone than its because she sees them as easily being corrupted and to prevent that unwanted chaos, she thinks covering the world in Ice is the best way to stop it.
Mostly because all life would be preserved and her idea of "true" peace will be possible.
I dislike both Shining armour and Cadance in this fic, is this on purpose?
Also:
The metallic helm of the biggest...motorbike?
4244914 When you highlight the sentence like that, I can see how awkwardly and unclear it reads. I'll fix it right away, but Victoria is based off Black Frost Anivia and because of that I'm not sure how else to describe her helmet.
As for Shining Armor and Cadance what about them don't you like? This world is an alternative world so some of the characters may differ than their show counterparts. Than again for this chapter/story I felt the pair after what they went through at their wedding would have left it a bit changed. Mostly they're still the same but they value an open relationship and any hidden secrets "grind their gears" so to speak.
Plus I've never really wrote for Shining Armor or Cadance so I'm going back and forth trying to figure out how they'll react.
4244070 No...basically the chapter we had, only improved technically, rather than an add-on to the story in general.
4245817 Oh ok I understand what you mean now. Yes, I did release this chapter before but a couple of comments it received had pointed out spelling errors, and also reminded me that I want to release quality chapters and not rushed chapters. So I took it down and did some polish to the chapter(adding an intro, removing a scene for later use,ect) and I'm happy I did.
Overall I'm much happier with the chapter and while polishing up I even planed out the story's plot and started writing chapter 2.
4245892 There are still some things in it, but on a technical front it's a lot better than how it was before. I had wished there was an actual update to the story itself, but this may help in ways you didn't expect. A more polished chapter tends to be better received than one not.
4245154 Actually, I found a typo, It should be avian, not anvian. Or at least, I think so.
And I don't know, they come down to order Knight around, while Knight is much more familiar with the vrystal empire. And then they get pissed when he tells them to step back and let them do their job. Or I just plain don't like royalty, bunch of power abusing idiots.
4247648 I see what you mean, but they're not really abusing their power. Shinning was mad because his job was to protect them and instead of asking for their help, he brought both with them so he could have their magic at the ready. Cadance's point, again was he could have done his job and told them just what going without waiting until the last minute.
4247839 I guess my problem with them is that Celestia came in, knocked their dictator off his throne and said "Look, we knocked the dude off his throne, so we get to pick your next undisputed rulers" and bam, new leadership. Then they start bossing everyone around and the crystal ponies are supposed to just stand there and take their shit. I'm in favour of democracy, and the peoples revolution and shit, so my opinion is a bit biased.
interesting update
except that creepy Law&Order bit that show shitty enough but to ponify everything? that's just creepy
4310744 Haha! I wanted to give a small snippet of her past with Luna(which I may expand upon with a prequel story of sorts later) but at the same time I wanted to show a bit of the old Victoria was still left. So I figured a small scene with her subconscious telling her what she just did felt right.
Im so lost, I have no idea whats happening in the story
4320419 Yep, sorry about than. When I write stories I don't like flat out telling people whats happening or giving back story if its not important at that moment. The reasoning for this is because I want the readers to have that sense of "Oh, I wonder what happened." The chapters from this point forward will be more liner because the "prologue" is finished.
Is this story dead?
8297910
Hello Glad, the story isn't dead and I actually have the next 3 chapters (1 finished, 2 partially) written. The problem other than focusing on life is that I'm going over the current chapters(slowly) to tidy them up a bit; on top of that I've been thinking real hard on Victoria's backstory to the point of even writing an outline and two chapters.
The reason for this is when the story is finally finished, I want to make a prequel story about how she came to Equestria and the series of events that made her into the 'villain' she is today. To get a comment on this story honestly surprised me since I assumed most of this story's readers had forgotten about it, given me further reason to take my time on it. If you're really waiting on this to update, than I could shift focus from my other stories and put a little more time into One Bad Egg.
8297927
Thanks. I was gonna ask if you were gonna give some more information on how Victoria and Luna met. Also I'm glad to actually get a response. A lot of authors don't seem to care to respond to questions. So I've started being very blunt and to the point lately. I'm curious about Victoria when she was with Luna. Was she a carbon copy opposite of Philomena or something else? I have a bunch of questions about a few other things as well. Thanks again for responding. I look forward to the next few chapters.