• Member Since 21st Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen Yesterday

DaudRuhn


Comments ( 226 )

It's funny how I've been searching for a clopfic like that just now.

You encounter a strange and unfamiliar creature in the middle of nowhere. What do you do?
:rainbowlaugh: Let it screw you and multiply inside your body, and then bring it along with you to the town so it can repeat the process?
:facehoof: Oh, Dash...

I liked the story overall :twilightsheepish::twilightsmile: I only hope that, given enough multiplication cycles, the blobs will adopt some traits from their hosts, because amorphous, voiceless blobs of goo aren't really that appealing--at least for me. As for the grammar department... the story could use some polishing :trixieshiftright:

Firstly, you should check THIS, because most of your "said tags" are wrong.
And now the errors that I have noticed:

“CANNONBALL!” She yelled as the pegasus hit the surface

"Dash" and "she" would sound a lot better in this case.

“I don't remember see any houses or roads nearby when I came down.”

seeing

Dash closed her eyes to help her mind focus, her thoughts wandering to Soarin.

I think you could expand this notion here--for example into something like this: "her thoughts wandering to a certain pie connoisseur who also happened to be a very handsome Wonderbolt." And then you could write a paragraph about Dash visualising Soarin expertly working on her "pie" with his magical tongue, or something like that. And then another sentence or two to smoothly transition this into the already written paragraphs where Dash visualises Soarin mounting her.
This is not something you need to do, but it would further flesh out the scene, which is always nice :twilightsmile:

despite its mailable form

malleable

I am looking forward to the next release :twilightsmile:

Excellent job! It's really fit my fetish. :rainbowkiss:
I wish I could write some articles too. But my English sucks. XD

Keep up the good work!

Christmas came early.


......


:trollestia:

3677465 Thanks for pointing those out. Ill try to get them edited in a bit. I don't have a proofreader so its no surprise I had some errors.

3678278 Well... I've seen similar things before but that blob thing reminds me of this far too much for me to ignore :rainbowwild:

3678604 Never played Final Fantasy so any similarity is purely coincidence. :derpytongue2:

I was pleasantly surprised by this story. I don't get to see too many slime/goo sex stories on here, and this one was well done. The introduction of the creature was good, and the lead up to Dash getting off on her fantasy about Soarin was hot. I think the only issues was the scene that included the slime and Dash. It got unclear just what the little guy was doing and how it was doing it. I'll be very interested to see how this continues.

3678672 I plan to explain how the different creatures work in coming chapters.

Yes... Let the impregnation begin:pinkiecrazy:

need more:rainbowwild:

liked and faved:pinkiehappy:

I feel sudden, inexplicable fear. This reminds me of that time where one brilliant mind crashed an Ultima Online server before killing everything in the server with endlessly replicating slimes.

I liked that quite a bit. It was right inline with a certain fetish of mine, and it was executed beautifully. There's really nothing I can say to suggest improvement, as it's, so far, the only chapter. But, one thing I might say is that you should see if you can find a editor. There weren't too many mistakes, but a few small ones caught my eye. If you decide you want to continue this, I'd be happy to lend you a hand. You've just gotta ask. :twilightsmile:

That was hot. Almost makes me wish I was the other gender.

I haven't read it yet. All I know is that I saw the author's profile picture and thought "Dear god, Littlepip's writing fanfiction again."

Into the read later list, for when I'm browsing on not-my-computer
3676746
That user name...no, it has to be a coincidence...

3684767 So totally read this in his voice by the way.

Let me start off by saying this: you only have SEVEN followers! Well, eight now. I know this is all new and stuff, but still, it was amazing. I'm not exactly sure what it is about the way you write, but even though this isn't exactly my thing, I still enjoyed it more than you had any right to make me. I'll admit that if it wasn't for the promise of more/varied monsters, then I would probably lose interest in this fic over time, but that isn't the case, so I'm sticking around.

Well, that was certainly original.

Where can I find this tumblr blog you based your story off of?

3686287 Due to posting rules I can't link the site directly, but you can find it at hankofficernsfw.tumblr :twilightsmile:

3685797
I'm watching because of the possibilities. I'm getting Ultima Online flashbacks because of this, except the method of reproduction just involves less stabbing and more sexy ponies. Just think about it: cities in flames just because ponies want to get laid.

3686331: that's alright; the source link in your image lead directly to it.

For a first clop story, this is surprisingly not bad.

Can I have some more of this? I hate to say it is a fetish, but what the hell. I enjoyed this...a lot! I would love to see what happens next. :pinkiehappy:

Comment posted by Nightingale deleted Dec 29th, 2013

3695242 More is on the way. Hopefully by the end of this week.

Given how obedient they are, I cannot help but picture the ponies as uing them as sexable pets.

Interesting to say the least. I wish for you to expand on this; my curiosety is piqud.

I.. erm... things... you writing more?

3732205 Yes, I do plan on writing more. I am currently working on the next chapter as I type this. Should be up in the next couple of days.

A lot better than most other fetish-y clopfics on this site. Bravo, and congrats on your first story.

3732286 :fluttercry: You posted that a week and six days ago. The amazingness of this story does not allow :twilightangry2:
Story's Awesome btw :twilightblush:

3801928 if you look at my blog post on my page I will try to make regular updates there. I'm currently proof reading the next chapter so you will see it up this weekend.

Huzzah! The slimes have been doubled once more!

I have a raging hard on now.

and then out pops a pony shaped slime?

i1216.photobucket.com/albums/dd375/ghostdeli/tumblr_m3fu03rgGz1qi2onn.gif

Once again, I applaud you for this sexy chapter. Can't wait to see who is next. :pinkiehappy:

I haven't read the second chapter yet but I notice the CMC tag.

Please tell me this means what I think it means. :rainbowkiss:

3815974 Its what you think it means. Just not in this chapter:ajsmug:

dear celestia I want more chapters please!!!!!:fluttercry:

3896682 Don't worry, they are coming soon.

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