Guest Chapter written by Eakin
Cheerilee sashayed down the street humming a cheerful tune, skimpy blue evening dress swaying in time with her hips. At long last, things were beginning to look up. These last few months, and all the romantic disappointments they’d heaped on her, were in hindsight painful-but-necessary lessons in being more discerning. So when she’d seen the personal ad in the back of the newspaper that seemed too good to be true, her first instinct was to assume that’s just what it was. Still, she’d responded. Cautiously at first, with an anonymous letter sent through the paper’s editor. But then he’d written her back.
He’d admitted up front, and with good humor, that he’d been trying to put his best hoof forward in the ad. He was a few years older (‘but only a few!’) than he had initially suggested, but then again Cheerilee was only in her ‘early twenties’ under an extremely generous interpretation of the word ‘early.’ Cheerilee had almost put the letter down when he’d also admitted that he was on a tail end of a marriage that wasn’t doing so well, and both he and his wife had come to a friendly agreement to try seeing other ponies. But if those were the only nasty surprises, and he was willing to be upfront with her about them, they weren’t necessarily deal breakers.
Then she’d read the second half of the letter. Or more accurately, she’d read the third quarter of it, put it down to take a very long and very cold shower, then finally managed to get through the rest. Romantic without being eye-rollingly over the top. Suggestive and flirty without being crude. Well-written and eloquent without devolving into purple prose. Her trained teacher eye had read each paragraph three or four times (for proofreading purposes, of course) and hadn’t spotted one spelling or grammatical error. Even his penmanship was florid and refined. Maybe there was something to be said for more... experienced... stallions.
But Cheerilee had been let down after good first impressions before, so she decided to exchange a few more letters before making up her mind. That way if he turned out to be a creep after all she could just stop writing and he’d never even find out who she was. A few more letters passed back and forth through that newspaper office as the two became pen pals. He was a perfect gentlecolt, and her jaw had dropped open when he’d mentioned seeing his daughter at the school, her school in fact. That had alarmed her. What if this stallion was the father of one of the fillies she taught? Silver Spoon’s mother and father had seemed a little terse with one another at the last parent-teacher conference she’d held, although at the time she’d attributed that to the lecture she’d been delivering about their daughter’s behavioral troubles.
Cheerilee wrote half a letter asking who the filly was, but then crumpled it up and threw it away. She repeated the process three more times before forcing herself to step away from her writing desk and let the matter go. If it was a filly in her class, she didn’t trust herself not to treat her differently in the hopes of currying favor by proxy, or pressing them for personal details and giving the game away entirely. The question still gnawed at her, though, and at that point she made up her mind for certain; she was going to meet this pony.
The last letter she wrote, after three glasses of red wine, laid out in no uncertain terms just how interested she was. She nearly collapsed into an embarrassed giggling fit as she laced every sentence with erotic innuendo, stopping just short of straight-up smut. She wanted him to know, in no uncertain terms, that she was a mare of the world. A mare who knew her way around in the bedroom and just what she wanted from him, should he care to charm her over dinner the following weekend at a cafe Cheerilee had always wanted to try, but was saving for a special occasion. He’d recognize her by the white lily she’d have pinned to her chest.
She sent the letter and found herself repeatedly glancing out at the mailbox for the next three days, eagerly awaiting the mailmare and the news she might bring. After the third day without a reply, she began to doubt her decision. Had her letter been too risque? Had she stepped over the boundary of good taste and come across as some kind of slutty whorse? She turned the letter over and over in her head trying to remember the exact phrasing, the exact word choice, that she had used and if there might have been a better one she could have chosen instead. But on the fourth day her despair turned to excitement when she discovered a short note among the bills and junk mail she always received. When she tore it open, she was overjoyed to discover that, why yes, the stallion would be positively delighted to meet with her at the time and place she’d suggested. Just look over by the bar for the stallion with a rose sticking out of the pocket of his blazer.
So she walked, right on time, down the street towards the cafe. She gave in to the temptation to give a little hop in the air and clap her back hooves together before she landed again. How long had it been since the last time she’d felt this optimistic? Stepping into the upscale cafe, she passed under the glorious crystal chandelier and turned her jacket over to the coat check. She took out the carefully-wrapped white lily she’d spent a half-hour picking out that morning, ignoring the flower vendor’s increasingly-obvious impatience as she went back and forth looking for the perfect flower for the perfect night. Pinning it to the strap of her gown, she stepped over to the bar to meet her date.
The bar was crowded with stallions and mares laughing, flirting, and generally having a wonderful time together. She scanned the ponies for any sign of a rose, and then, at the other end of the bar, she spotted it. Their eyes met and they recognized one another at the same time, anticipation morphing into shock, and then horror.
“Dad?”
oh god........oh god man!
Awkward!
What a twist!
Time to have a long talk about the state of your parent's marriage, Cheery. Also, I would pay Twilight a visit and ask for the memory spell in reverse.
That's daddy's little girl!
Poor Cheerilee. Here you go, compliments of House Coyote.
images1.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/b/b0/Brain_bleach.jpg
Light and laughter,
SongCoyote
Sounds like that would hurt!
I had a blast writing this. Thanks for letting me do a guest chapter!
3556449 The honor was all mine!
*spittake*
And here's to you, Mr. Cheerilee,
Twilight loves you more than you will know,
Whoa whoa whoa.
Tia bless you please, Mr. Cheerilee,
Heaven holds a place for those who pray,
Hey hey hey, hey hey hey.
I'm hoping someone besides me gets that.
As for my initial reaction, well, I think Rarity summed it up best:
Here's what I felt in order:
This can't possibly go wrong!
Naughty Cheerilee!
It's really going to happen this time! She finally caught a break!
.....Wat.....
Oh my god!
But wait....that letter she sent.....oh god....
3556602
Whoops!
3556611 That letter will haunt her dreams. Well, I guess all of these are going to haunt her dreams, so no biggie...
Yep. This has Eakin's handprints ALLLLLLLL over it.
And you managed to get him to do one? WIN in my book!
~Skeeter The Lurker
Heh.
3556942
It was my idea. Plus with the 1,000 word target I had the whole thing finished in 2 hours from concept to completion
3557035
And you know something?
I can believe it, too.
But, what made you want to throw a chapter in this? If I can ask.
~Skeeter The Lurker
THIS IS GREAT!
3557069
Got a kick out of the first three chapters, and had plenty of ideas pop into my head. When I saw the author's comment about maybe having guest chapters in the future, I tossed out the offer on impulse. Last weekend Jug took me up on it.
I'm happy to do guest chapters for stories I like, especially when there's not much of a time commitment involved.
3556324 Can't believe that didn't dawn on me at first. That akward moment when you sent a rather kinky and saucy love letter to your father (or mother), mistaking him (or her) for a romantic partner. /
3557202
Hah, nice!
Respect, chief.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Oooooh, that's rough.
This what I did when I saw the last word. So many implications, and I think Cheerilee learned a lot about her father. I have a huge grin on my face.
Can't.... breathe... must... reach... favorite... button... *gasp*
Their eyes met and they recognized one another at the same time, anticipation morphing into shock, and then horror.
“Dad?”
HOW could he not had understand WHO she was? HOW many teachers do they have in Ponyvill?!
And he was only A FEW years older than he origanally had written that he was?!
WHY did the chapter end here!? WHY!?
3558711
He probably didn't mention that his daughter was a teacher, just that he 'saw her at school.' They were both trying to stay anonymous, after all. And as for why the story ends there, well, I had a thousand words to work with and the next several hundred after this would have been assorted high-pitched and unintelligible noises from both of them.
3557699 I've never seen it, so any connection is coincidence. There was a movie with forced pet adoption leading to injury? I guess there really are no new ideas under the sun…
I am so glad that this fic is a thing that exists.
Thanks! I've been weirdly obsessed with that face you see at the cover art since I saw it in Hearts and Hooves Day. I just knew that there must be some really, really great stories as to why Cheerilee was alone and trying to convince herself that she was alright with it. I just kept thinking of dumb reasons why she didn't have somepony and eventually it gave rise to this.
I've been apologizing ever since.
Love this fic, please continue dude!
3559776 I'm having a great time with this story, so it will be continuing for quite some time. I have my doubts about getting to a thousand, but I'm pretty sure it will get to at least one hundred.
Thanks so much for reading it! I'm pleased that you've enjoyed it thus far!
3557207
Be glad you didn't.
I figured out what was coming pretty quickly and spent the rest of the story cringing.
See? Our parents can still scar us for life after we've left the house!
Anyway, this chapter was hilarious. Gratz to the guest author~!
-The Believer-
Did any of those letters mention that Cheerilee like Pina Colatas and singing in the rain?
That. That was a thing. Most definitely a thing. Not one hundred percent sure what kind of thing, but it was certainly a hilarious thing.
I knew with a title like that it'd be awkward. I didn't know who, but I knew it would end in shock and embarrassment for both of them. Congrats Eakin, you've got this one good.
3558841
No, but she mentioned she was a teacher, didn't she?
3559697
Me too!!!
EVERY character likes this, see?
3565283 Thanks! I really liked that chapter. I was happy that it was absurd, but it also had a little emotional element to it. I'm glad it resonated with you.
Oh good lord, I started reading this a while back, and I easily think this is one of the best chapters.
And it managed to reach that status with just one word.
"Dad?"
Brilliant.
I've been holding off on hitting "favourite" because this story still is fairly young, but after this I'd feel like a major twat if I didn't. Thanks, Jugs and Eakin.
Well... this is just awkward, isn't it? I mean, it isn't as if Cherilee is a Unicorn noble for whom marrying one's father is considered normal!
Ohgodwaht. XDDD Poor Cheerilee.
Sorry girl, but your suffering is amusing me.
3557202
It reminds me of that scene from "Must Love Dogs."
In this story, the role of Cheerilee will be played by Diane Lane...
PFF!
DEAR LORD, I'M CRYING! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Not a date that ended well.