Previous Chapters Next
Close
Date One - A Trip to Sugarcube Corner1,042 words
Date Two - Hot Stuff1,045 words
Date Three - Lowering the Bar1,080 words
Date Four - A Flight to Remember1,072 words
Date Five - Striking It Rich1,188 words
Date Six - What The Duck?!1,358 words
Date Seven - The Will to Succeed1,068 words
Date Eight - The Deepest, Darkest Date1,182 words
Date Nine - Pet Peeves1,196 words
Date Ten - It's All Relative (Guest Chapter by Eakin)1,091 words
Date Eleven - The Scent of a Stallion1,130 words
Date Twelve - Just Hanging Around1,100 words
Date Thirteen - Lepidopterrifying1,154 words
Date Fourteen - A Royal Pain in the Aft1,238 words
Date Fifteen - Check, Please1,134 words
Date Sixteen - A Vision of Loveliness1,341 words
Date Seventeen - A Jarring Experience1,143 words
Date Eighteen - Roomhates1,144 words
Date Nineteen - An Affair to Forget (Guest Chapter by Jondor)1,240 words
Date Twenty - An Instrument of Destruction (20th Date Double Sized Extravaganza!)2,228 words
Date Twenty-One - The Captive Heart1,385 words
Date Twenty-Two - The Flavor of Defeat1,170 words
Date Twenty-Three - Rottomaton1,824 words
Date Twenty-Four - Cruisin' For A Bruisin'1,480 words
Date Twenty-Five - A Quiet Night In (Guest Chapter by BronyWriter)1,239 words
Date Twenty-Six - A Moussed Connection (Guest Chapter by Seether00)2,257 words
Date Twenty-Seven - Blue Belles and Green Mushrooms1,158 words
Date Twenty-Eight - Closed Encounters2,357 words
Date Twenty-Nine - Fan Fiction1,177 words
Date Thirty - Smother (Guest Chapter by Eakin)1,512 words
Date Thirty-One - Unreported (Guest Chapter by Eakin)2,282 words
Date Thirty-Two - Things Better Left Unsled1,309 words
Date Thirty-Three - Oh, Deer 1,602 words
Date Thirty-Four - Speed Dating (Guest Chapter by Metool Bard)1,694 words
Date Thirty-Five - Batmare Ends (Guest Chapter by BronyWriter)2,727 words
Date Thirty-Six - Come With Me If You Want To Love1,931 words
Date Thirty-Seven - Savings and Groan2,079 words
Date Thirty-Eight - Disenchanted1,208 words
Date Thirty-Nine - Terms of Ensnarement1,533 words
Date Forty - Lightening the Mood1,271 words
Date Forty-One - Adding to the Problem1,469 words
Date Forty-Two - The Cold Shoulder1,267 words
Date Forty-Three - Movie Scars1,443 words
Date Forty-Four - Love's Just Not In The Cards1,619 words
Date Forty-Five - The Right End of the Wrong Stick (Guest Chapter by InquisitorM)1,798 words
Date Forty-Six - Full of Hot Air1,291 words
Date Forty-Seven - A Secret Affair1,368 words
Date Forty-Eight - Halt, Criminal Scum (Guest Chapter by Georg)2,542 words
Date Forty-Nine - On The Ledge Of Disaster3,412 words
Date Fifty - Tact and Harness (Guest Chapter by Skywriter)2,512 words
Date Fifty-One - The Laws of Attraction2,131 words
Date Fifty-Two - Takes A Licking...1,331 words
Date Fifty-Three - Join the Horde!2,181 words
Date Fifty-Four - Love's The Best Policy2,163 words
Date Fifty-Five - Un-Appetizers2,794 words
Date Fifty-Six - Let's Talk About Sects1,672 words
Date Fifty-Seven - Rolling With The Punches2,477 words
Date Fifty-Eight - Deviating From The Program3,083 words
Date Fifty-Nine - You Can't Spell 'Now' without 'Ow'3,086 words

Date Seventeen - A Jarring Experience

Cheerilee licked her lips nervously as she shifted from hoof to hoof. They’d only been out for an hour, and Pectin was already asking her to come back to his apartment. When he flashed his winning smile again, Cheerilee swallowed loudly.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” he said with a little laugh. “I didn’t really think about how that sounded.”

“It was a little forward,” Cheerilee replied, grinning weakly.

“It’s just that, well, I have this…” Pectin’s voice trailed off as he looked away, twirling his hoof vaguely as he searched for the right words. “Oh, I don’t know how to put it.” Suddenly he grabbed Cheerilee’s hooves between his strong, grey ones, squeezing them gently as he stared deep into her eyes. “I’ve… I’ve found something! Something amazing!”

Cheerilee flicked her eyes left and right. Ponies passing by on the street were beginning to stop and grin. Oh, Sweet Celestia! she thought, sighing. They probably think he’s proposing!

“It’s totally changed my life, and I want to share it with everypony, starting with you!” he continued, grinning widely.

“Why me?” Cheerilee asked, pulling her hooves free. Nearby, several ponies groaned and continued on their way, disappointed.

“Well, why not you?” he replied. Throwing his hooves wide, he stood, turning slowly in a circle as he threw his head back. “I feel absolutely amazing, and I want you to feel the same way!” Pectin placed his hooves on her shoulders. “Believe me, this is worth it.”

“Uh…”

Pectin dropped his gaze, nodding as he bit his lip. “I’m sorry. I know this probably seems really weird right now. I’d feel the same way if I were you.” He sat, sighing. “I just can’t help it, though. I’ve never felt this way before.”

Is a little normalcy just too much to ask?! Cheerilee thought, her brow furrowing as the stallion continued to oscillate between a sort of bizarre, hyper-focused joy and shame-faced melancholy. Isn’t anypony just a regular Joe anymore?!

Thinking back, she supposed it might be her fault. She’d gone shopping and run into him by the fruit stall. Literally. She’d been so absorbed in checking items off of her list that she trotted face first into his side, bruising her muzzle and splattering him with ink.

She’d begun to apologize immediately, but was surprised to find that he hadn’t seemed to notice. He’d had an orange in one hoof and had been turning it over and over, inspecting every inch of it. She’d contemplated just walking away, but she’d felt terrible about the ink and he was rather handsome.

Finally, after several seconds of tapping him on the shoulder, she’d managed to draw his attention from the fruit. She’d been relieved that he laughed the incident off, and she’d been taken by his easy-going nature. When he asked what she was doing later, she’d leapt at the chance.

When will I learn? she thought as stallion turned back to her.

“Look, I promise this isn’t some ploy to get you into my bedroom,” he said, his expression earnest as he rose to his feet again. “I just think this will change your life for the better, like it has mine!”

“Well, what is it that we are talking about?” Cheerilee said, growing impatient. “You’ve been alluding to whatever this is for almost half an hour, and to tell you the truth, it sounds pretty fishy!”

“I know, I know!” he said mournfully. “That’s because it’s not something you can really describe. You’ve got to see it. You’ve got to experience it!”

Cheerilee sighed again, shaking her head. Well, you have to take some chances in life, right? she thought. It can’t be worse than being trapped in a volcano. Rising, she dusted herself off and squared her shoulders. “Okay, show me whatever this is.”

The stallion ran rapidly in place for a few seconds, grinning. “You won’t regret this!” he cried, his voice traveling a few octaves up the register. “It’s the greatest thing ever!”

~~~

Cheerilee wrenched her head away from the door as the cloyingly sweet scent of fruit and sugar erupted from the house. Beside her, Pectin leaned into the wind, smiling beatifically as the candy-scented breeze blew through his hair. Reaching inside, he flipped the nearby light switch.

“What in Equestria?” Cheerilee said, shying away. As her pupils shrank to mere pinpoints, she scanned the room, turning occasionally back to Pectin. “Is this some sort of joke?”

Inside, the room was filled with rows and rows of gigantic jars, each filled with a different jam or preserve.

“Isn’t it amazing?!” Pectin cried, bounding into the house. “So which do you want to try first?! I suggest the marmalade, but maybe it’s a little bitter for a newbie! Perhaps this lemon curd!” He turned suddenly and began clambering up the side of a jar labeled as blackberry. “Oh, just pick any of them, really! They’re all fantastic!”

Cheerilee stood, frozen. Part of her wanted to run as quickly as she could from this, but she found herself hesitating, held by a morbid fascination. “What is going on here?” she asked in a small, stunned voice.

Pectin lifted himself over the lip of the jar. For a moment, he stood there, grinning manically at the schoolteacher before stepping into the jar. As his body sank into the slurry, he cried out in ecstasy.

“Oh! Oh, Cheerilee!” he yelled, thrashing inside the jar. “I’m in the jam! I am the jam!” As his head lolled from side to side, Cheerilee could see that his eyes had entirely rolled back. “I’m a blackberry! I’m just a little blackberry in a sea of sticky syrup!”

Cheerilee jumped as Pectin slammed his body forcefully into the glass wall, grinding against it. For a brief moment, he disappeared, then resurfaced, covered in fruit.

“Oh, Sweet Celestia!” Pectin screamed, thrashing even more vigorously. “Sweet mother of us all! It’s so amazing!” Arching his back, he thrust his hooves to the ceiling. “The jam is entering me! WE ARE ONE!”

I’ve got to get out of here! Cheerilee thought as the stallion trembled, taut as a piano wire. This guy’s lost his mind! Taking a few steps backward, Cheerilee was reaching for the doorknob when he locked eyes with her.

“Okay,” he panted. “Your turn.” His smile stretched tightly across his face as he began to climb out, his eyes never leaving hers.

Scrambling backwards, Cheerilee slammed the door closed and pounded down the street, vowing to never go back to that market on a Saturday ever again.

Author's Note:

For Wade.

4,971 views

851

Previous Chapters Next