“Look, all I’m saying is that I took a chance on you!” Cheerilee said through clenched teeth. “I don’t normally date mares, you know. I’m taking a big risk here. It would be nice if you’d do the same!”
Daring tried to stretch out her wing, but her knees buckled as she attempted to flap. “Looks like I’m grounded again. How does that always happen?” Approaching slowly, Daring Do eyed the quicksand, dipping her front hoof into the slimy pool. “Brrr!” she said, shivering. “It’s… kinda cold.”
Cheerilee thrashed a bit, managing only to sink in further. “You don’t say?” she replied, giving the adventurer a flat stare. “I would’ve never known.”
“Look, I’m sorry!” Daring said, pacing back and forth fretfully. “It’s just… well… I have this thing about quicksand. It makes my skin crawl!” Daring began fishing through her explorer’s knapsack. “If I could just find that map, I could go get you some help!” she muttered, tossing items aside in the hunt. Cheerilee winced as a canteen, several days’ rations, and a compass bounced off of the nearby tree and rolled into the pool.
“You traded the map to those natives for the feathery head-dress two days ago!” Cheerilee yelled. “Perhaps you remember it? It’s when I was telling you that you were out of your mind!”
“Oh, yeah!” Daring said, perking up. “I love that thing! Look!” Daring scooped the mask out of her bag. Straightening a few bent feathers, she placed it on her head, leaping back and forth in a bizarre mockery of the tribe’s ritualistic dancing.
Cheerilee grimaced as she slid thigh deep into the muck. “Look, will you just throw me a vine or something?!” she cried. “You’re supposed to be taking me on an adventure- and romance-filled jungle tour, but so far, we’ve been nearly eaten by a tiger, attacked by crocodiles, had to eat bugs because you thought you’d lost the food, even though it was in your pack all along—”
“Oops!” Daring replied ruefully, lifting her pith helmet to scratch behind her ear.
“Which I might add just sank into the pool here!”
“Huh?” Daring replied. “When?”
“Just now!” Cheerilee shouted as she pointed to the spot. “Right there!”
“I don’t see anything,” Daring said, shrugging.
“Of course you don’t! That’s because it sank, never to be seen again! Just like I am, so get me out of here!”
“Look, I…” Daring said, waving a hoof vaguely at the lush vegetation. “I’m just not all that good at this jungle-y stuff.”
“What do you mean ‘you’re not good at it’?!” Cheerilee screeched as the quicksand slid up to her stomach. “You’re Equestria’s authority on exotic locales and dangerous situations!”
“I am?” Daring said, tilting her head to one side. “Since when?”
“Since you’ve had a long-running, best selling series of books written about your death-defying adventures!” Cheerilee said, wishing badly that she had something to throw at Daring Do.
“OH!” Daring said, breaking into a relieved grin. “You’ve got it all mixed up. I’m not that Daring Do. I’m from Las Pegasus. Ponies mix us up all the time.”
“WHAT?!” Cheerilee said, her eyes flying wide.
“Yeah, total coincidence. We’ve got the same name, and we look a lot alike, but I’m not her!” Daring frowned at Cheerilee “You know, you really should have made clear which Daring you wanted to go out with from the beginning. Now I’ve wasted five whole days.”
“You’re wearing a khaki shirt and a pith helmet! You wanted to go hang out in the jungle! Who else was I supposed to think it was?!”
“What, I can’t wear something because somepony else does?” Daring said, throwing her hoof wide. “Do you just go out onto the street and yell at everypony who’s wearing clothes you’ve seen somewhere else before?” Daring turned away, sniffing. “You sure are one critical mare!” Daring turned to glare at Cheerilee over her shoulder. “Plus you’re the one who was all ‘the jungle must be so fascinating!’ What was I supposed—”
“WOULD YOU JUST TOSS ME A VINE OR SOMETHING, PLEASE?!” Cheerilee screamed as the quicksand made its way up to her shoulders.
“Um, are you sure you want a vine?” Daring said, eyeing the nearby vegetation nervously.
“I DON’T CARE WHAT IT IS, AS LONG AS IT GETS ME OUT OF HERE!”
Daring picked up a small stick, poking at the vine. “It’s just that it might be a snake. Some of those snakes back in that cave we got trapped in were pretty sneaky. I’m not sure I would trust this thing.” She turned to Cheerilee, chewing on her lower lip. “What if it bites me or something?”
“It’s just a vine,” Cheerilee said, trying for calm where panic had failed to motivate. “See, it has leaves on it.”
“Oh, yeah!” Daring said, grinning widely. “You should be the jungle explorer!”
“Well, one of us has to be,” Cheerilee replied, gritting her teeth before whimpering. The quicksand was up to her neck. “Now, just throw it over here and we can get back to town and forget all about this and each other.”
“What if it has caterpillars on it?” Daring said, her voice quavering. “They totally creep me out.”
“That's it!” Cheerilee said, beginning to thrash in place. “I’m going to make it out of this quicksand, and then I’m going to throw you in here!”
“Hey, that’s no way to talk to a pony that’s trying to help you out!” Daring said in a hurt tone. “I could have just left you here, you know!”
“Yes, you could have left me here and gone to get some help!”
“But then I’d be lonely!” Daring said, her brow furrowing. “I hate being alone.”
“Yes,” Cheerilee said, lifting her chin as she sank further into the mire, “I can’t imagine why more ponies don’t love your company.”
“Well, if you’re going—”
Cheerilee missed the rest has her head finally slipped below the surface of the pool. She desperately kicked out in every direction, praying for some sort of purchase. No! I don't want to—
It was all that she could to do stop herself from taking a deep, steadying breath as her hooves sank into a thick layer of rotting leaves and clay. Step by step, she began climbing the shallow basin, trying not to think about her lungs as they screamed for air. If Daring Do has two brain cells to rub together, she'll be long gone by the time I get out of here! she thought, hoping that her head would break the surface soon. But then again, if she had any sense, I wouldn't be in this mess in the first place! As images of revenge flashed through her mind's eye, Cheerilee trudged on.
wow just wow
3533537 Dude! How did you read that so fast? I put it up like twenty seconds ago!
3533544 .... i was posting a blog post, saw this update, quickly read it, and then posted a comment
Daring Do? More like Daring Done.
I feel like that should be 'that's it' or something other than what you've got there.
Oh Cheerilee, even in your imagination you can't get away from your bad luck. Did you kick a leprechaun when you were younger or something?
Princess Luna: My word. It seems all of these bad dates have taken a toll on this poor mare. I probably should- *sees a child's nightmare about losing her father* Oh for the love of My Sister. *sighs* Maybe next time, Ms. Cheerilee. *leaves her dream*
On another note, you might wanna close that italics tag.
3533581 Oops. Good catch. I'm correcting it now...
3533587 Yup, I noticed that a minute or two after I posted it. Stupid formatting...
3533537 Yeah, that pretty much sums up my thoughts.
Cheerilee needs to stop eating ice cream before bed. Or was it cheese? Apparently the type of cheese you eat can affect dreams.
Loved this one! So is the next one Luna giving her a pity date after seeing that?
3534376 Maybe pity as in "It's a pity her date with Luna ended up with Cheerilee accidentally stranded on the moon."
This never fails to bring a smile to my face
3534225 I think she might be haunted…
3534554 He's just get low self esteem! And no job...
3534905 Well, i'm pleased to please you!
Wow, you'd think one of the first things you'd say were something along the lines of "So you're the famous adventurer from all those books?"
It was a dream...
Oh my god that was clever.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3534379 Ooh, or the date doesn't have to be with her. She's old fashioned, she can send one of her batponies. And be all, here, date a real stallion! (Real stallions have fangs, right?)
3535764 Oh, I don't know about that. If I found myself sitting next to someone who looked like Harrison Ford, and I said, "Hey, are you Harrison Ford?" and they said yes. I probably wouldn't follow it up with "You know, the guy who was in Star Wars and Indiana Jones?" Looking like Harrison Ford and saying that they were Harrison Ford would pretty much seal the deal for me.
3536276 I felt a little bad about the dream thing. It's one of the great story cliches, but Daring Do is a fictional character (I guess) after all, I felt like I tipped people off because the encounter obviously wasn't real to begin with.
3536343 Twist: The stallion is gay and is only trying to do his duty. The date devolves into an awkward mess as Cheerilee madly pursues that which is unattainable.
*Dies laughing* oh god poor Cheery just can't catch a break.
3536492 I'm not sure how long I can actually keep this up. At some point, it's going to be like kicking a wounded puppy. I'm going to have to write a few chapters where she's to blame for this stuff to balance it out.
Why Cheerilee I never knew you could rhyme. Maybe you should try dating Zecora next, she can't be any worse then your other dates.
3537136 I can see it now. Cheerilee is hanging out in Zecora's hut, but drinks a potion used for shamanistic mind expansion instead of the light cocktail that Zecora made her. As Cheerilee's mind explodes with hallucinations, she runs out into the Everfree Forest, and into every bizarre, magical plant in the area.
"Cheerilee, what did you drink?! I use this potion to help me think! But I'm here to hold your hoof. I'll see you through this crazy—oof! Hey, come back here!"
3537236 Ahhaha, hillarious!
3537276 Dang it! I messed up my rhyme. I fixed it now...
Ha ha, YES!
3538452 I thought you might like that one. I had a Fluttershy chapter, but it didn't really work out. I'm thinking about taking bits of it and adding it to this new idea I had today.
3538753 Thanks! I'm glad you are enjoying it!
3538777 You're on a roll, so don't tell me! I want to read it without any knowledge of it.
Ohh! Came home from a trip over the weekend and found TWO new chapters! LOVE this story!
3540620 I'm thrilled that you are into it. These stories are really fun for me to write.
3543303
I see why, they are hilarius!
You have earned a stalker!
3545345 Thanks! I'll try to keep making good stuff for you to read.
I can only at this one. Rainbow will be the first to tell Cherilee that one must not accept cheap substitutes for awesome!
BWAHAHAHAHA! There has to
Be a date where she meets the real Daring Do!
4342095 But that date would probably go well!