Date Thirty-Two - Things Better Left Unsled
Cheerilee barely had time to register the snow-covered spruce as they whizzed by it. They’d been close enough that she could have reached out and touched the bark, if she hadn’t minded losing the hoof in the process. By the time she was even aware of the trees, they were gone.
In front, Downdraft tugged at the toboggan’s reins, trying to elicit some level of response. Despite pulling left and right with all of her might, they seemed to only be traveling in one direction: straight down the slope.
“I think we’re going to have to bail!” Cheerilee yelled over the wind.
Downdraft shot her a panicked glance over her shoulder. “Did you say something?!”
Cheerilee leaned as far forward as she could manage, cupping her hoof around the pegasus’ mint-green ear. “I said we’re going to have to bail out! We’re going way too fast!”
Down stiffened, whipping her head around. “You’re crazy! We’ll be torn to shr—”
Both mares screamed as the toboggan hit a hidden stone, lurching to the right and leaping into the air. Nonononono! Cheerilee thought, leaning as hard as she could to the left. We’re going to—
Cheerilee’s teeth slammed together as the toboggan hit the hard-packed snow with bone-rattling force. Stunned, she shook her head vigorously.
“Knock it off!” Down called over her shoulder. To Cheerilee, it seemed that the pegasus’ eyes were roughly the size of dinner plates. “This is hard enough without thinking that you’re falling off back there!”
“I’m not the one who sent us down the Mountain of No Return!” Cheerilee snapped, glaring at the pegasus. “You said we were going on the bunny slope!”
Cords of muscles stood out on Downdraft’s neck as she hauled the toboggan’s steering cable to the right. “This—ergh—is the bunny slope!” The pair leaned as far as they dared, and the toboggan barely missed a thicket of gnarled shrubs. “This is where Cloudsdale trains for the All-Equestria Winter Games! It’s the warm-up course!”
Cheerilee was thankful that she was holding onto the toboggan so tightly. The urge to throttle the pegasus was growing. “Are you crazy?! You took me on a professional course?!”
“I didn’t think it was going to be like this!” Downdraft yelled, her face equal parts terror and embarrassment. “I just wanted to get our blood stirred up, you know!”
“Well, you’ve done an outstanding job!”
“Look, I really don’t appreciate your—”
The mares screamed and threw their hooves around one another as the toboggan slammed into something hidden in the snow. For a brief moment, they were spinning, sliding sideways around whatever they’d hit. Cheerilee found herself staring at the rapidly receding lodge. They were traveling full tilt down the mountain while facing uphill.
“Fly us out of here!” Cheerilee screeched, burying her face into the back of Downdraft’s parka.
Down shook her head. “I can’t! M-my wings never fully developed! I can only glide a little bit!”
“Okay, okay!” Cheerilee yelled, her breath coming in increasingly ragged gasps. Panic was threatening to overwhelm her. “We need to do something or we’re going to break every bone in our bodies!”
“I’m open to suggestions!”
Cheerilee whipped her head around, trying to look everywhere at once. It was almost a relief that she couldn’t see where they were going anymore. Well, until she allowed herself to think about it. We’ve got to get turned around! If we don’t, we’re going to hit something eventually!
On instinct, Cheerilee thrust her hoof into the snow. Snow flew into the air as she fought to keep her leg from being torn from its socket. “Help. Me,” she growled, clutching her other hoof around the hoofhold of the toboggan with all her strength. “We’ve got to try and spin this thing around.
Downdraft plunged her hoof into the snow, gasping as the mountain threatened to dislocate something. Together, they cursed and grunted, showering themselves in snow.
“This isn’t working!” Down called back, lifting her hoof from the snow. Cheerilee could see it throbbing from the intense friction.
“Yes it is!” Cheerilee whooped as the toboggan finally began to swing around. It had taken a while for the momentum to shift, but with a stomach-lurching twist, the sled had finally relented and turned to face back down the hill.
Just in time for the pair to see the approaching drop.
Cheerilee’s pupils shrank to pinpoints as she watch the precipice approach. Desperately, she looked for any place for them to ditch the sled, but they were far off the established course, and it seemed like bone-crushing boulders were everywhere. “Okay, okay! Let’s—”
“Sorry!” Downdraft called back, launching herself into the air.
Cheerilee stared after the fleeing pegasus, her mouth agape. “Hey!” I thought you said you couldn’t fly!”
The pegasus stopped, turning in midair. She twisted her hooves around one another as she flushed. “Um… well… It’s just that I’m not a very strong flyer. If I tried to carry you, I-I might drop you. Or… or maybe—”
“I’LL TAKE THE CHANCE!” Cheerilee cried. Twisting back around, she could see the cliff’s edge approaching more rapidly than she’d dreamed was possible.
Down fretted, massaging her hoof. “Yeah, but now my hoof is all hurty from that snow. I probably won’t be able to grip all that well.”
“I’LL DO ENOUGH GRIPPING FOR THE TWO OF US! JUST COME DOWN HERE AND GET ME!
“But… but what if—”
Cheerilee’s screams cut off whatever Downdraft was attempting to say. Suddenly, the earth pony was in flight. Despite the logical part of her mind emphatically telling her to do no such thing, Cheerilee leaned to the side, taking in the open space between the toboggan and the ground far below.
Everything seemed still. The teacher barely felt the breeze as it rustled her mane. Below, she could see curious birds in the trees staring up at her. Nearby, an elk chewed thoughtfully and watched her arc overhead. It all seemed absurdly tranquil, and Cheerilee jumped when something tapped her on the shoulder.
“Um… if you make it, come by and see me, ’kay?”
Cheerilee lunged for the pegasus, but missed as Downdraft fanned her wings and caught a thermal. Rising, the pegasus curled her hoof to wave a tiny good-bye before angling away.
~~~
Cheerilee’s eyes fluttered open, but she wished that they hadn’t. Everything ached.
“You okay, down there?” a voice called out.
“No, not really,” she answered faintly.
“Well, don’t you worry none. I’ll have you out in a jiffy.”
Cheerilee smiled weakly, the sounds of frantic digging drifting down from somewhere outside the snowy prison she found herself in. At least she wasn’t going to have to extract herself from this mess. Packed in as she was, she couldn’t assess the damage, but if what her body was reporting was accurate, it was far less than she’d feared. “How is that even possible?” she muttered as the scraping sounds grew closer.
“Darnest thing I ever did see!” the voice called out, much closer this time. “You just came a-slidin’ off that hill and plunged straight into this huge pile of snow. They probably saw the powder flyin’ up into the air all the way in Canterlot!” The voice cackled briefly. “I’ll bet my antlers they did! Okay, almost got you outta there.”
A bright beam of sunlight lanced in, causing Cheerilee to squint suddenly. She grinned as the elk brushed away more of the snow. “So,” she said, spitting out a glob of snow that had fallen into her mouth, “have any plans later tonight?”
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Well, it's certainly not the WORST idea for Cheerilee to consider going stag from this point.
4175539 Oh, man! I totally applaud you for that one! That was one great comment!
You been watching ask king sombra
COME BACK SHELF
Ah, nothing like the Inter-Speices-Holy-Cow-I-Almost-Died-Because-My-Date-Was-A-Jerk rebound. I hear it's becoming more popular these days.
I'm calling it right now: That bit with the elk is a setup for a future date. I'm most interested to see where that one goes.
Downdrift is so dead when Cheers gets her mites on her.
The resulting rage melted all the snow in a 10 mile radius.
And what happened then? Well in Ponyville they say. Cheerilee's broken heart grew three sizes that day. And she vowed never to touch a toboggan ever again. The end.
Elks are better than ponies.
4175752
Yeah, ponies will beat you and curse you and cheat you! Every one of 'em's bad... except Twist.
Later, there was a mysterious death in Canterlot as an unnamed pegasus was found choked to death on five-hundred pieces of #2 chalk while standing in front of a blackboard that read, "I will not take a date on a sled ride without providing them a working parachute."
An excellent addition to the series, but there were a few proofreading errors/sentence mistakes that distracted me from the story.
I can't believe that the stupid mare actually flew away from her.....I guess the snow made her more coldhearted ;)
4176201 I'll go back and take a look. I never do catch all the errors the first time around.
4176252 I'll PM them to you :)
Background music while reading this chapter:
[youtube=RzC7wvEuMBw]
I do hope that Cheerilee reports Downdraft to the authorities. I'm pretty sure she's broken a few laws (as well as old, old Pegasi traditions) by not attempting to rescue her date.
Yay, Elks!
4175906 yeah, and obviously Sweetie Belle doesn't count; she's a marshmallow shaped like a pony.
As readers of the Austraeoh series know, elks have to talk all full of spit and glimmer, yes yes?
4179813 I'm left confused and terrified by this comment. Mostly because I haven't read Austraeoh.
4179818 Minor spoilers from the third book, I'm afraid. If you ever do start, you'll see what I mean.
Awesome chapter.
4179824 Thanks! I've had this one in mind forever. Well, one with her sliding down a mountain, anyway. I wasn't sure what I was going to do with it, but I rarely am. I just have a vague direction in mind and I let my fingers go to it. I end up in some strange places…
Well, it sure does a good job warning against stupid things that you can do to ruin your date. And believe me - although it's a comedy it's also not that far from reality. Which is pretty amusing and helpful. Thanks!
Wait, Cheerilee ends with the prospect of a NICE date?
If she ever turns serial killer, she'll have one hell of a list to use.
~Skeeter The Lurker
4179818
4179813 What unspark! Boomer of the Naught Jugger never glimmer to see Nancy Jane tale? Floydien has mind to right that!
4203072 I've been thinking about a Discord date for a while. I just don't have the right scenario yet.
I was listening to damage inc. By metallica when I read this, it was Awsome.
4222286 One of my favorite Metallica tracks. That was my high school theme song, along with every song ever created by Gwar.
Hmm... Twilight, and/or Discord making things so Cheerilee doesn't die?
What's with the lots of spaces at the end?
7192388 I'm not sure why all that space was there. I guess I must have had a bunch at the end of my Gdocs and it carried over.