• Published 15th Nov 2013
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Cheerilee's Thousand - xjuggernaughtx



Cheerilee goes on one thousand terrible dates.

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Date Forty-One - Adding to the Problem

Cheerilee fished out a compact from her bag and gave herself a final, pre-date once-over. Hair’s good. Eyeliner’s perfect, for once. No blemishes. She nodded, then closed the compact with a definitive snap. I hope you’re ready, ’cause here I come! Grinning, she knocked on the door.

“Um… just a second!” a slightly surprised voice called from somewhere inside.

“Sorry!” Cheerilee replied through the door. “I might be a little early.”

The door handle jiggled a few times. “Oh, for the love of—sorry, I’ll have to bite it. One more second, please.”

Cheerilee craned her neck, peeking around the door as it opened. On the other side, a somewhat flustered blue stallion had his teeth locked on the doorknob. His forelegs were covered in soapsuds, and behind him, a trail of bubbles led deeper into the house.

Noteworthy held up a soapy hoof. “Sorry. I couldn’t get a good grip.”

Cheerilee’s eyes widened, and she covered her mouth with a hoof. “Oh, I’m way too early, aren’t I? I am so sorry! I knew I should have asked Twilight what time it was when I left the library.”

“No problem at all. I’m just finishing with the dishes.” Stepping aside, he frowned at the slippery patches on the floor. “Come on in, but watch your step.”

Picking her way carefully through the foyer, Cheerilee followed Noteworthy into a spacious kitchen. “Do you have a hoof towel? I’ll wipe this up while you finish your dishes.”

Noteworthy held up his hoof. “No need, Cheerilee. Just have a—”

“No, I insist,” Cheerilee replied, shaking her head. “It’s my fault that you tracked water through your house.”

“You sure?” When Cheerilee nodded, Noteworthy opened a drawer and tossed her a towel edged in tiny bass and treble clefs. “Well… thanks! I only have a couple of plates left. I’ll come help you after that. Share the load, you know?”

Cheerilee caught the towel and stepped back into the hallway. “I wish you’d come teach that to the foals. They’re so mean to each other sometimes.”

The sound of sloshing water floated out of the kitchen. “It’s something I really believe in. We need to be more community-minded. I mean, Ponyville’s actually pretty good about it, but we could be a lot better.”

Humming, Cheerilee mopped up the first of the small soapy pools. Can’t leave any residue. This hardwood will get slippery. She ran a hoof over the wood, nodding when it squeaked. “So what’s the plan tonight?” Cheerilee called back over her shoulder.

Noteworthy trotted into the hall with a towel draped around his neck. “I thought we’d head over to Deal-icious Dizzy’s for a bite to eat. Then I figured we could talk about where to go next. Pellet just opened up a paintball arena on his property. That could be fun. Or maybe karaoke, if we’re not feeling up to it.”

“Dizzy’s?” Cheerilee’s brow furrowed. “The all-you-can-eat place? Isn’t that a bit much for the two of us?”

Noteworthy knelt down beside Cheerilee and started on another puddle. Their shoulders were nearly touching, and she could smell a hint of cologne mixed with a certain natural spiciness that cause her to shiver. She felt herself flush when he smiled at her.

“Well, you see, that’s just it. We—”

There was a knock at the door.

Noteworthy hopped up. “Just a sec!” Dropping his towel onto another puddle, the stallion trotted to the door.

Golden Harvest beamed at him as the door opened. “Hi! I hope I’m not too—Cheerilee!” Golden tilted her head to the side, blinking at the teacher for a few seconds. “I didn’t know you were doing housecleaning on the side.”

Cheerilee held up a hoof. “No, it’s not like that. I just felt bad for making Note track soapy water all over his hallway because I got here too early.”

Golden’s eyes hesitantly tracked back and forth between the two ponies before settling on Cheerilee. She licked her lips nervously. “Oh, okay. So, uh, what brings you here?”

Cheerilee pursed her lips. Something didn’t feel right. “Well, Note and I are about to head out for a date, and—”

“What do you mean, you’re going out with him? I’m going out with him!”

Both mares swiveled their heads in unison, glaring at the stallion.

Noteworthy smile spoke of desperate, but fading, hope. He licked his lips. “Well, I got to thinking the other day that if I can show one mare a good time, then—”

There was a knock at the door.

“Just a second!” Noteworthy pointed a spot next to Cheerilee and grinned at Golden Harvest. “Sorry, but could I get you to scoot in a little bit?”

Golden stared back at the stallion for a moment before stomping to Cheerilee’s side.

“Thanks!” Noteworthy pulled the door open.

“Hey!” Daisy said, tossing her mane out of her eyes. “So nice to—hey, girls!” Daisy stepped inside and dropped her saddlebags on the floor. “What are you two doing here?”

Golden Harvest’s eye twitched.

Cheerilee gave Noteworthy a flat stare. “Really?”

“Really what?” Daisy said, her smile fading.

Cheerilee rolled her eyes. “Oh, nothing. Noteworthy here’s just really into sharing. He’s so generous that he’s invited every available mare in Ponyville out tonight.”

Daisy’s mane bristled. “What?!” she said, her voice ratcheting up a few octaves.

Noteworthy backed up a few steps and held his hooves up. “Hey, now! Let’s not get overly excited. I just thought we’d all have a great time out together.” He turned to the teacher, tilting his head to the side. “Of all ponies, Cheerilee, I’d think you’d understand. Historically, ponies have lived in herds, and—”

“Yes. Yes, they did…” Cheerilee threw her hooves up. “Eighteen centuries ago!

Daisy advanced on the stallion, teeth bared. “Are you out of your mind?”

A bead of sweat rolled down Noteworthy’s brow and hung off his jaw before dropping to the floor with a soft plip. “Well, I don’t see what the big deal—”

There was a knock at the door.

Noteworthy wilted under the frosty glares. “Just a sec!”

Daisy skipped back as the door flew open. “No need to fuss. I’ll show m’self in.” Granny Smith’s knees creaked as she stepped inside. “Reckon I’m a little early, but that just means we can get goin’—” Granny Smith froze. “What in tarnation are y’all doin’ here? Don’t y’all know a date when you see one? Skedaddle!”

“Oh, don’t worry,” Golden Harvest replied, glancing sideways at the sweating stallion.

Cheerilee nodded. “Yes, I think he’s all yours.”

“Darn tootin’, he is!” Granny Smith edged her way in slowly and planted a peck on Noteworthy’s cheek. “Awful funny time to have company over, but I guess the apple falls different from every tree.”

Daisy sat and crossed her legs tightly across her chest. “I spent thirty bits on this mane cut, you know,” she said, shooting daggers at the stallion. “Thirty. Bits. Just for tonight.”

Granny Smith squinted at the mare. “Sounds pretty fancy for just droppin’ by. You got designs on my stallion, young’un? Well, back off!” She rose on unsteady hind legs and balled her hooves before her. “I don’t cotton to date rustlers!”

Daisy threw her hoof out beside her. “Well, he asked me out tonight!”

“And us, too,” Cheerilee said, passing a hoof back and forth between Golden Harvest and herself.

Granny Smith whirled and fixed Noteworthy with a single beady eye. “That so?”

“Heh-heh,” Noteworthy said, scratching his mane. “The more the merrier, right?”

Granny Smith balled her hoof again. “I wonder if that holds true with bruises, too…”

Noteworthy backed away from the advancing mares until his rump hit a corner. “Now, if you’d all just keep an open mind, we could—”

There was a knock at the door.

Cheerilee stomped a hoof. “Sweet Celestia… How many mare’s did you ask out?”

Noteworthy swallowed hard. Sweat ran freely down his cheeks now, forming yet another puddle on the foyer floor. “Um… Twelve…ish…”

Daisy threw her saddlebag over her hips, and then wrenched the door open. “Well, I think you’re probably down to eight, at least.”

Sassaflash blinked back at her. “Uh, what?”

Cheerilee edged past the mares. “You here for a date tonight?”

Sassaflash nodded slowly, her wary eyes moving from mare to mare.

Cheerilee pointed to Derpy, who was just trotting through the gate. “Well, take a number. There’s a lot of that going around.”

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