Date Forty-One - Adding to the Problem
Cheerilee fished out a compact from her bag and gave herself a final, pre-date once-over. Hair’s good. Eyeliner’s perfect, for once. No blemishes. She nodded, then closed the compact with a definitive snap. I hope you’re ready, ’cause here I come! Grinning, she knocked on the door.
“Um… just a second!” a slightly surprised voice called from somewhere inside.
“Sorry!” Cheerilee replied through the door. “I might be a little early.”
The door handle jiggled a few times. “Oh, for the love of—sorry, I’ll have to bite it. One more second, please.”
Cheerilee craned her neck, peeking around the door as it opened. On the other side, a somewhat flustered blue stallion had his teeth locked on the doorknob. His forelegs were covered in soapsuds, and behind him, a trail of bubbles led deeper into the house.
Noteworthy held up a soapy hoof. “Sorry. I couldn’t get a good grip.”
Cheerilee’s eyes widened, and she covered her mouth with a hoof. “Oh, I’m way too early, aren’t I? I am so sorry! I knew I should have asked Twilight what time it was when I left the library.”
“No problem at all. I’m just finishing with the dishes.” Stepping aside, he frowned at the slippery patches on the floor. “Come on in, but watch your step.”
Picking her way carefully through the foyer, Cheerilee followed Noteworthy into a spacious kitchen. “Do you have a hoof towel? I’ll wipe this up while you finish your dishes.”
Noteworthy held up his hoof. “No need, Cheerilee. Just have a—”
“No, I insist,” Cheerilee replied, shaking her head. “It’s my fault that you tracked water through your house.”
“You sure?” When Cheerilee nodded, Noteworthy opened a drawer and tossed her a towel edged in tiny bass and treble clefs. “Well… thanks! I only have a couple of plates left. I’ll come help you after that. Share the load, you know?”
Cheerilee caught the towel and stepped back into the hallway. “I wish you’d come teach that to the foals. They’re so mean to each other sometimes.”
The sound of sloshing water floated out of the kitchen. “It’s something I really believe in. We need to be more community-minded. I mean, Ponyville’s actually pretty good about it, but we could be a lot better.”
Humming, Cheerilee mopped up the first of the small soapy pools. Can’t leave any residue. This hardwood will get slippery. She ran a hoof over the wood, nodding when it squeaked. “So what’s the plan tonight?” Cheerilee called back over her shoulder.
Noteworthy trotted into the hall with a towel draped around his neck. “I thought we’d head over to Deal-icious Dizzy’s for a bite to eat. Then I figured we could talk about where to go next. Pellet just opened up a paintball arena on his property. That could be fun. Or maybe karaoke, if we’re not feeling up to it.”
“Dizzy’s?” Cheerilee’s brow furrowed. “The all-you-can-eat place? Isn’t that a bit much for the two of us?”
Noteworthy knelt down beside Cheerilee and started on another puddle. Their shoulders were nearly touching, and she could smell a hint of cologne mixed with a certain natural spiciness that cause her to shiver. She felt herself flush when he smiled at her.
“Well, you see, that’s just it. We—”
There was a knock at the door.
Noteworthy hopped up. “Just a sec!” Dropping his towel onto another puddle, the stallion trotted to the door.
Golden Harvest beamed at him as the door opened. “Hi! I hope I’m not too—Cheerilee!” Golden tilted her head to the side, blinking at the teacher for a few seconds. “I didn’t know you were doing housecleaning on the side.”
Cheerilee held up a hoof. “No, it’s not like that. I just felt bad for making Note track soapy water all over his hallway because I got here too early.”
Golden’s eyes hesitantly tracked back and forth between the two ponies before settling on Cheerilee. She licked her lips nervously. “Oh, okay. So, uh, what brings you here?”
Cheerilee pursed her lips. Something didn’t feel right. “Well, Note and I are about to head out for a date, and—”
“What do you mean, you’re going out with him? I’m going out with him!”
Both mares swiveled their heads in unison, glaring at the stallion.
Noteworthy smile spoke of desperate, but fading, hope. He licked his lips. “Well, I got to thinking the other day that if I can show one mare a good time, then—”
There was a knock at the door.
“Just a second!” Noteworthy pointed a spot next to Cheerilee and grinned at Golden Harvest. “Sorry, but could I get you to scoot in a little bit?”
Golden stared back at the stallion for a moment before stomping to Cheerilee’s side.
“Thanks!” Noteworthy pulled the door open.
“Hey!” Daisy said, tossing her mane out of her eyes. “So nice to—hey, girls!” Daisy stepped inside and dropped her saddlebags on the floor. “What are you two doing here?”
Golden Harvest’s eye twitched.
Cheerilee gave Noteworthy a flat stare. “Really?”
“Really what?” Daisy said, her smile fading.
Cheerilee rolled her eyes. “Oh, nothing. Noteworthy here’s just really into sharing. He’s so generous that he’s invited every available mare in Ponyville out tonight.”
Daisy’s mane bristled. “What?!” she said, her voice ratcheting up a few octaves.
Noteworthy backed up a few steps and held his hooves up. “Hey, now! Let’s not get overly excited. I just thought we’d all have a great time out together.” He turned to the teacher, tilting his head to the side. “Of all ponies, Cheerilee, I’d think you’d understand. Historically, ponies have lived in herds, and—”
“Yes. Yes, they did…” Cheerilee threw her hooves up. “Eighteen centuries ago!”
Daisy advanced on the stallion, teeth bared. “Are you out of your mind?”
A bead of sweat rolled down Noteworthy’s brow and hung off his jaw before dropping to the floor with a soft plip. “Well, I don’t see what the big deal—”
There was a knock at the door.
Noteworthy wilted under the frosty glares. “Just a sec!”
Daisy skipped back as the door flew open. “No need to fuss. I’ll show m’self in.” Granny Smith’s knees creaked as she stepped inside. “Reckon I’m a little early, but that just means we can get goin’—” Granny Smith froze. “What in tarnation are y’all doin’ here? Don’t y’all know a date when you see one? Skedaddle!”
“Oh, don’t worry,” Golden Harvest replied, glancing sideways at the sweating stallion.
Cheerilee nodded. “Yes, I think he’s all yours.”
“Darn tootin’, he is!” Granny Smith edged her way in slowly and planted a peck on Noteworthy’s cheek. “Awful funny time to have company over, but I guess the apple falls different from every tree.”
Daisy sat and crossed her legs tightly across her chest. “I spent thirty bits on this mane cut, you know,” she said, shooting daggers at the stallion. “Thirty. Bits. Just for tonight.”
Granny Smith squinted at the mare. “Sounds pretty fancy for just droppin’ by. You got designs on my stallion, young’un? Well, back off!” She rose on unsteady hind legs and balled her hooves before her. “I don’t cotton to date rustlers!”
Daisy threw her hoof out beside her. “Well, he asked me out tonight!”
“And us, too,” Cheerilee said, passing a hoof back and forth between Golden Harvest and herself.
Granny Smith whirled and fixed Noteworthy with a single beady eye. “That so?”
“Heh-heh,” Noteworthy said, scratching his mane. “The more the merrier, right?”
Granny Smith balled her hoof again. “I wonder if that holds true with bruises, too…”
Noteworthy backed away from the advancing mares until his rump hit a corner. “Now, if you’d all just keep an open mind, we could—”
There was a knock at the door.
Cheerilee stomped a hoof. “Sweet Celestia… How many mare’s did you ask out?”
Noteworthy swallowed hard. Sweat ran freely down his cheeks now, forming yet another puddle on the foyer floor. “Um… Twelve…ish…”
Daisy threw her saddlebag over her hips, and then wrenched the door open. “Well, I think you’re probably down to eight, at least.”
Sassaflash blinked back at her. “Uh, what?”
Cheerilee edged past the mares. “You here for a date tonight?”
Sassaflash nodded slowly, her wary eyes moving from mare to mare.
Cheerilee pointed to Derpy, who was just trotting through the gate. “Well, take a number. There’s a lot of that going around.”
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Noteworthy, you're being way too generous. You can't date twelve mares at the same time. You gotta choose the fairest one of all, and then you stick to it.
But more importantly, what does the Apple family think of Granny Smith being offered a date? I doubt it sits well with them.
At least he didn't ask Twilight, Rarity, Rainbow Dash or Applejack out at the same time. One would buck him to the moon, one would introduce a rainbow boom in the middile of his house, one would make a chinse straight jacket version, put it on them and leave him there to starve, and one would recreate the battle with Terik at full power with Noteworth being Terik and Twilight taking the attack while the mare would be the one was the one on offensive. I'm not sure what would happen if Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy.
Great chapter though I think it would be funnier if Charliee leaves with one of the mares as her date, it may not last but aleast it would be somewhat normal despite how weirdly it ended. Sort of a silver linning.
I'm guessing this is what Noteworthy wanted to happen:
But instead, he gets the tar beaten out of him. Yeesh, poor guy. He's just into polygamy, girls. Is that really a crime? I suppose to a mare trying to find The One, it is. Personally, I ain't judging him for it.
Noteworthy would make a great Mormon.
And then Noteworthy died
The fact that this is maybe the BEST date she's had so far says a lot...
Hey - plenty of single mares right there. Go with one of them!
4523364 Granny's takin' what she can get these days. Mac's not really one for speakin' up and Applejack's just going to let it play out and see what's what.
4523442 Oh, but that would just lead to a disaster further down the road. Poor Cheerilee just isn't made for romance…
4523443 I think he woke up a few days ago thinking that he had the best idea ever. Sometimes, your best idea every doesn't live up to its potential.
At least he's inclusive! He was after Granny Smith way before Trenderhoof.
4523649 Oh, he's fine. Nothing three or four weeks in the hospital won't fix up.
You know, the hospital ought to get Cheerilee a gift basket or something. They've been doing gangbusters business since she moved to town.
4523890 They are all too disgusted at the moment, but perhaps down the road...
4523449 He also makes a great punching bag!
4524112
I wonder if the Mane 6 have a harding time dating then Chrilee as not only do they have wacky adventures, thay are powerful mares that probably itiminate others but also their own personality is working against them.
Twilight: panic attacks and OCD that she is more likly to turn down dates for she puts herself down
Applejack: straight arrow that is more concern about family to even think about dating.
Rainbow Dash: insecurity over herself that she is probably too afraid to commit
Rarity: too vain about herself that she compare others to being perfect or she does not believe she is good enough
Pinkie Pie: too much of a scatter brain to be a long term date and maybe too much of a giver to try and make ponies smile she can't keep her thoughts focus.
I was really hoping this chapter would end on "There was a knock at the door." after ramping up to sheerly ridiculous levels.
I was expecting to see Luna or Celestia at some point. At first I thought that was AJ not Granny. I expected him to get a beatdown. Lol.
Clearly Noteworthy didn't take lessons from Sugisaki on how to create a successful harem ending.
The only thing that would have made this better was if Celestia and/or Luna had come there, expecting a date!
FOAL FREE PRESS
10th June, 4ARL
By: Crime Correspondent
LOCAL CITIZEN FOUND ASSAULTED
Ponyville (EF) -- Local historian and town archivist Noteworthy is currently being treated in Ponyville General Hospital after being found, badly beaten and hanging by his rear hooves from the flagpole in the town square.
Town Sheriff Copper Badge says that investigations have been complicated by the number of different individuals that were apparently involved in this attack. "There seem to be at least a dozen different hoof-prints," he informed this reporter. "It's as if he was suddenly set upon by a gang of hoodlums who simply intended to cause the victim as much pain as possible without actually causing him permanent, disabling injury. The Sheriff confirmed that Noteworthy has been unable to identify his attackers. "We're keeping an open mind as to the motive at this time," the Sheriff added, concluding that anypony with information on this matter should contact him privately.
A Ponyville General Hospital spokespony said that Noteworthy is in a serious but stable condition. Sources speaking on the condition of anonymity have added that he appears to be delirious, simply repeating 'The mares! The mares!' over and over again.
Further reporting in section A5
4524226 What about Fluttershy?
4525285 Whose to say they weren't? Not all of them showed up.
4526312
True....
4524716
4525285 I thought about having Celestia arrive instead of Derpy at the end, but I decided that was just too much. Plus, I have a Celestia thing planned in the near future.
4524895 When it comes to family to anger, the Apples are problem near the bottom of the list, right above Twilight's. A family with a history of kicking things for a living is a bad choice for crossing.
4526275
Yeah I forgot about her.
Fluttershy: extermly shy that she is more likly to run then date. Also, possible explosion of emotions that make her go Hulk like.
4523449
Nah, even we Mormons always had the dignity to only ask out one girl at a time.
(In all seriousness, old joke is old and misinformed.)
4528711
You're right, no more of that from me.
So many single mares, so little time.
Cheerilee, quick! Turn this into a positive. You've got your pick of single mares, find one who swings both ways and nab her.
And have another disastrous date.
Hell, we didn't even get to the date this time.
Noteworthy is either incredibly naive or he has some giant cojones.
4550465
There was another named Bambo, I got them confused.
Also, I'm starting to think my parents had no idea what constituted a "Video Game".
4526383
ASDFJKL;;;
WRITE FASTER JUGG
WRITE FASTER
4553916 I'm currently trying to get my mind around it. It's kind of a vast story, so I haven't figured out how to wrestle it down into a workable form. It's complicated because I don't have very much personal time right now, and I really need solitude in order to write.
But I have a lot of scenes in my head. I think it will be good if I get a chance to tell it properly.
Well... That sure was noteworthy.
I didn't realize I wandered into a harem fic.
5135991