Daring Do and the Treasure of the Serpent Amazons

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Comment posted by ZerOAimi deleted Apr 30th, 2016

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Onlyicanhear

Onlyicanhear #5 · Dec 9th, 2013 · 1 · ·

So much fetish appearing out of nowhere, but beside that it's a good story overall

Alticron

Alticron #6 · Dec 9th, 2013 · · ·

Nice story, but there's some stuff you may want to edit. First, is the villain's name Nadira or Alecto? You seem to go back and forth on that. Next:

She giggled as she moved behind her and began to lick her hoof's, causing Daring to giggled slightly before she unhinged her jaw and began to stuff the mares back-leg's into her mouth.

That should be "hooves" and "back-legs" respectively.

your body ssshall be wracked with orgassmm after oragssm...I want you to cum buckssss of your deliciousss cum to fill my sssstomach...

I'm pretty sure that should be "orgassmm" and "buckets", based on the dialogue.

She said as her coils forced her to look up just as her tail mouth raised higher into the air before slamming down and quickly swallowing her up to her knees in a few large gulp.

And lastly, that should be "gulps". I really look forward to more.

Blissey1