it's the year 3044 in the ruins of america. a war is brought upon earth as each country fights for dominance over rights. since then a law was passed which children even after birth are force to be taken by the government and sent to camps for to be trained as soldiers.
on man refuses to allow it but ends up in a slow and gruesome death. upon dying he wishes for his daughter to be sent somewhere safe and to be taken care by a loving family. his wish was granted and his daughter was sent to equestria and discovered by the party pony of poniville.
pinkie takes the child in as her daughter and given her a new life she deserve. over time the little human girl grows anxious on her real family and asks pinkie about her real parents and why they given her up. how will pinkie and the mane six explain to her about her parents demised and how would she react to it?
this is my first time writing a story of children of equestria.
Capitalize !
Capitalize !
CAPITALIZEEEE !!!
So far, very good, and there were a couple or few spelling errors but other than that I like how this story started.
This fic isn't going anywhere good with grammar like that, bro(ny).
With grammar that bad and a plot that incomprehensible, I can only assume the author is either a non-native speaker of English, or is very young.
Either way, the only way to save a story this troubled would be with a team of experienced editors and pre-readers working with the author. That of course assumes the author can take the harsh criticism necessary to explain in detail what is so wrong here.
Capitalisation is key. Grammar is off, but the storyline you seem to want is beautiful. Just, try a little harder.
yes a mama Pinkie story i've found a few but they are ether bad or way out of date so good luck on your story
3419436thanks man after seeing her with the cake twins i couldn't help but think she would make a great mother.
3419472
not a problem its still gonna be hard seens it is pinkie pie
3419528yup but then again it's always to all mothers
3419436 I couldn't say it better. I read a lot Storys where either one or another of the mane six becomes a mother. But just a little few where Pinkie was becoming a mother. Thats why I'm Happy to read this Story ;)
3419548 i agree i mean most are fluttershy and twilight and sometimes applejack and rarity too heck even rainbow being a mother has a few more stories then pinkie pie. i mean come one why not enough of pinkie pie. she's funny, energetic and with the cakes she will know how to take care of the baby and give her a life she wants
3419648 Poniville ponyville
You may want to find someone to fix the many mistakes you made with the Old English.
wolfman93 when will the next chapter for this story to come out
3619864hopefully without any delays in my way i will post it on christmas
3620340 ok
3653669i understand but thank you
i love it and i forgive you
A couple of grammarical errors here and there, but I'm not enough of a grammar nazi to pick them out.
All in all, very well done, but I must say I am surprised Twilight didn't send the father's letter, or at least a copy, to the princess.
It really needs a lot of work when it comes to grammar and correct word usage. It also would be great if you could try to write more descriptively.
This was weird. It was like two people were writing the story, I came to this fic expecting to leave a bunch of pointers...but I can't. Your spelling and grammar is perfect at times but hugely inconsistent. I'd recommend another editor as well as your friend Marcus. I'd be happy to look through for you! I have to say that the first section of this story was top class, but the quality dropped a little afterwards due to the SPaG (Spelling, Punctuation & Grammar). Don't be disheartened though. I will be keeping travk of the story...just fix the basics though! :)
FINALLY!!! I found a Story where Pinkie Pie is the mother for a little human. I really hope to see soon a update. The Story is AWESOME so far.
Update?
The waiting was worth.
Just a thing I saw: Names are capitalized like "Hope" or "Twilight". I just saw it at the beginning.
Update?
update?
UPDATE!
6809726
i concurer there seems to be a lack of update that is sorely needed