• Member Since 4th Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen Last Thursday

draygan


Comments ( 55 )

My.... god. no. Rainbow....

That was highly depressing

To be honest, I miss proof-reading for you, though this was. . . disturbing, to say the least.

Saw a couple things that could be fixed too, though I don't think I want to read this again.

Christ, why does everybody dislike rape?

turned to one one of annoyance
Rainbow Dash groaned at the feeling of the first two small eggs slipped past her anus and vaginal lips.
She could feel the toxic liquid as it rushed through her veins again, which caused her to twitch again.Sa
The sound of the started again
It things didn’t change,
and twilight would be able to use her magic stuff
cottage cut on. had she
At first it felt like the the biggest
Sure, Twilight. I sure hope she’s ok.

Ok... this was... the BEST fetish clop I've EVER read! I love it so much! This was just perfect! (could have used a bit more details concerning what happened to her uterus and privates but it's awesome as it is). I was waiting for someone to write a gore\vore\parasite story like this for like 2 years! Wasps were one of the predators I imagined too =P
Fluttershy was kinda stupid here, but oh well... The idea of one of your best friends who you thought was going to save you make it even worse by accelerating the process is so hot that it was totally worth it! =)
Feel free to hit me up if you need any help with any other stories like this one! :rainbowdetermined2:

:rainbowderp:
my reaction: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5772052 That's so ODD. Those double words weren't in the original document... And thanks for the compliments! I went with the angle that Fluttershy wasn't aware that Rainbow had been transformed. How would she have known there was a problem?

5771274 My next story is going to be more tame I'd say. Nothing really fetishy so you might enjoy it a lot more

5772224
Breezies from the show had cutie marks... Furthermore, ONLY the ponies-turned-breezie had them. So it should have been obvious after so many odd similarities for even the dumbest pony to realize who she was =P
Maybe you should incorporate the line that for some reason her CM was missing or was obscured\damaged?

Plus could you tell me what size were the wasps compared to RD? I kinda had a hard time imagining the scene without any size comparisons...

And damn, I wish you would write something else like this! THere is not even remotely enough stuff like this... In fact, this is the first story ever that hit the spot perfectly for me! I never saw anything as fascinating before, it was amazing =P
I wish it was a multi-parter or a series of one-shots where M6 venture into the forest and get picked off one-by one or in groups by various beasties like Spiders and Mantises... That would have been awesome! ^_^

The characterization is nonexistent, people do stupid things for no good reason, the scenario is contrived, it's needlessly cruel and it has far too many spelling errors. This story deserves every dislike it gets.

5772240 I must have forgotten about the cutie mark thing. Whoops. Anyhay, as for a size comparison, here's the picture that really inspired this story: https://derpiboo.ru/736250

That gives a good reference at the sizes.

5772266
And you are one of these pussies who seek out such stories and then start rumbling that they are contrived and overly cruel thinking that someone cares about what they think. You have been warned beforehand that this story is going to be gory, so it's only your fault for reading it if you don't like these topics.
I'm sick of people like you posting this BS on every fetish clopfic ever. Don't like it - don't read it! And definitely don't post shitty comments without any real proof or explanation of what you didn't like.

Plus if you think that characterisation, plot and grammar in this story is bad, then you haven't seen the majority of similar stories. This one is heavenly and written VERY well! And if you don't agree with me - spend more than 10 seconds to provide some real arguments and proof instead of that crap that you wrote.
Have a nice day and don't be a duck! :ajbemused:

5772303

I provided reasons why it isn't good. And judging by its low rating, I am not alone. It's not my fault you refuse to accept basic story standards and hide behind the excuse of "it's fetish". That's not an excuse to suck.

And others have done this better, with better writing, characterization and behavior, and good motivations to boot. In fact, here's a short oviposition MLP story :https://aryion.com/g4/view/294149

Komodo did this with ease. And nobody is acting idiotic, out of character or in a contrived way. And there's no gaping plot holes or bad grammar mistakes.

5772314
Ok I'll ask you the same thing that I asked a couple other similar people like you.
You say it is bad. Great. You didn't provide any concrete examples where specifically it was bad, only vague generalized accusations that one could apply to almost any story, yours included (yeah, I skimmed through what you have and didn't find anything outstanding there... And no, it's not intended as an offense)...

So I'll ask you this then: don't try to compare it to other stories which don't have premise anywhere close to what this one has, instead TELL me how YOU would make THIS story better? What you would change to make this story still have all said fetishes and its conclusion but without having the "issues" that you claim it has.

If you can't tell me how to make it better without removing the death or any crucial components then all your accusations are pointless! Some ideas just can't be done in 100% accurate manner, and even if they could, I DON'T SEE any issues with how this story was written. Where exactly the characters were broken? Where the plot was overly-contrived? Tell me please. Prove what you claim this story is lacking! Point it out specifically and tell everyone how it could have been done better! Telling an artist that he sucks without exactly telling why so he could improve is such a pathetic and miserable move.
Otherwise your words are worth nothing and you are just trying to justify that you didn't like the fetishes it contained or the premise itself (in which case it is you who is to blame and you shouldn't have read and downvoted it). So go on, do it.

5772340

Dash just rushing off with nobody else going with her is contrived. Fluttershy not being there also makes no sense. Dash not hearing WASP APPROACHING and seeing where it comes from when it wouldn't be some small thing that a normal person might not notice at first, but something around her size is contrived as well. Fluttershy not realizing that it's Fluttershy or even trying to help is unbelivable and goes against her character, Dash's death is needlessly cruel, and the idea of going as Breezies to begin with and not, y'know, CHANGELINGS if they are capable of transformation spells is also ludicrous. It just comes off like an excuse to do the fetish, and it's needlessly cruel in its treatment of a kickass female.

Is that FUCKING SPECIFIC ENOUGH FOR YOU?!

5772374
The whole point of exactly RD going in exactly as a breezie and why Fluttershy wasn't present was explained in the story.
Didn't you think that Changelings can... you know, FEEL EMOTIONS and probably have a hive-mind? So even if she strolled in as a changeling they would have sensed her instantly? Or maybe that Twi couldn't change her into a changeling since they weren't studied enough?
The only way to do it discreetly was by going in fast and staying unnoticed, for which a breezie was a fine choice. At least as good as any other. Plus while I do find that FT being busy was a bit over-the-top, one should remember that it was supposed to be just a quick covert-ops mission and not another global "Saving Equestria" moment, so all 6 being present wasn't required.

Moving on, hearing the wasp approaching... Well, this point I can give to you, it could have done better. However, it wasn't anywhere long. I assume it was around 5-10 seconds total and she did look on the sides, it's just that it was coming from the back and out of her field of vision. Plus, I bet as a breezie every leaf and insect would sound huge and loud, so it is quite possible that she started filtering out such noises, which can be indicated by her sating that "she must be hearing things AGAIN". In any case, the sudden attack wasn't what brought her down, but rather something to agitate her by its speed and tenacity, which made her act totally in character as she always gets angry and rushes into problem.

Next one, Fluttershy not realizing it is Dash IS WRONG, I agree. I already pointed out this to the author and it should probably be addressed by at least mentioning that she didn't have her cutie mark in order not to stand out from the usual breezies if caught by changelings. However, her not helping a creature seeing as it is ALREADY DEAD is totally in her character. She cares for all wild life and it was her phrase that "nature is fascinating" while a couple of beasts were competing to death over who had the right to eat M6. If RD was a usual breezie, no one would be able to help remove the eggs out of her, so the moment she got infected, she was a dead mare. Plus Fluttershy didn't even knew that Dash had been turned into a breezie, so if not for cutie mark it could have been quite close to what she would have done in such a situation.

it's needlessly cruel in its treatment of a kickass female.

And here's our real and biggest problem. I bet no matter what I say won't have you change your mind because you simply didn't like the gore part of the story, which was one of it's main fetishes as stated in tags and story description. Well, you HAD been warned about the gore, so it's your fault and downvoting it is stupid and mean. Personally I loved the ending sequences since there is NO OTHER story like this as far as I know. It was all I wanted to see in the end and I wouldn't change it for anything. Next time you see a gore tag or warning, I'd suggest not reading the story. I'm tired of people like you downvoting decently made stories just for the content they have. So tolerating, wow. Anyway, it wasn't even an overkill, you know? It's not like the author just made up the sickest scenario out of thin air to troll people like you. No, there are people who like this, people like me. And the scenario and events are taken from real life, where stuff like this happens every day. So no, it's not needlessly cruel, it is accurate to what happens IRL.

P.S. Did you write the same stuff about "Cupcakes", "Rainbow Factory" and other famous gore fics? I hope you did, we wouldn't want you being inconsistent now would we? :raritywink:

5772416

Yes. I did. Those stories are dark for the sake of dark. Grim for the sake of grimness. And have the same poor character behavior and choices. They bastardize the source material and are PURE. GARBAGE. In fact, I hated the author of Cupcakes so much, I made him an antagonist in one of my stories, "Serge.N.Sprinkles", get it? Who got in trouble with the law for doing horrible things to fillies in a fraternity that involved guts. It was my "take that" against his mindset.

5772416

And Changelings don't have a hive mind, nothing has really indicated that in either the show nor the comics. So that's another strike, I'm afraid.

5772464
Your "take that", how nice... You must be proud of yourself! And thus you've just proven what I thought from the very beginning. You are nothing but a sad excuse for a "shining knight" who seeks out stories knowing he won't enjoy them just to leave a hateful comment afterwards. I see people like you from a mile away.

How pathetic and childish... I would even say how sorry I am for how miserable of a being you are but I don't like to lie...
If you don't like the genre, it doesn't make it bad or "pure garbage" - there will always be people who like this stuff. But attitude like that makes YOU garbage. "I don't like it so much, that I'll go and spread my hate on anyone who dares to write something that I don't like!". Pff, grow up already and stop embarrassing yourself and this fandom. People like you are the tumor of this society and the main reason why I don't call myself brony anymore.

Have a nice day, I hope one day you will realize that what you are doing is wrong.

5772472
Even so, don't you think they would have outposts on all entrances to the hive and at least some special procedures or a common greeting to indicate that the drone in question is not mind-controlled or not from another hive? All insect species have ways to determine intruders in their nest after all.

P.S. I hope you DO realize that if a person writes a gore fic about RD being turned into cupcakes, it doesn't meant that this person is bad and would go on a killing spree IRL. We all have hidden fantasies and desires, and it would be much worse to keep them bottled up inside instead of venting them in some way. I'm sure that none of us chose which fetishes to like, so accusing and hating someone for this is retarded and only stupid people with overly-high self-esteem would do that.

5772483

Yeah, because they were so smart before-OH, WAIT. No. They weren't.

5772509
Oh noes, you downvoted me! Surely this makes you the winning party! :ajbemused:
Downvoting stories like a pro because turning Dash into a breezie instead of a changeling like you wanted is a crime! Oh, and did I mention that it has GORE? Clearly gore stories shouldn't exist since you don't like them!
It should have been a changeling instead so that this whole story couldn't exist in the first place! Let's write a story about Dash disguised as a changeling going in the hive of "stupidly retarded" changelings, getting to the protected area without knowing any traits and then going back to Ponyville with the necessary item! It would be so interesting! How brilliant, you have my applause, bravo! :facehoof:
If you haven't noticed, wasps and breezies were the core elements of the story and without them it wouldn't be itself anymore!
Seriously, don't bring my esteem of humanity any lower, please. Just go to your dark corner and cuddle Derpy or whomever you worship till the end of your miserable life. Let adequate people do and write what they like without annoying schoolboys like you. Thanks!

5772483
5772472

WELCOME TO: FLAME WAR!!

5772532

You're going to complain when you downvoted my comment, oh hypocritical one? The story is terrible, your defense of it lacking, the end! I SAID GOOD DAY, SIR!

5772556
The only problem here is that it wasn't me who downvoted it. And sure, if you say so... Clearly my arguments are "lacking" and yours are just the best thing this site has ever seen.

5772595
5772556 Both of you, please apply ice to thine nipples and calm down. Arguing won't do you any good at this point. As for the characterization and contrived-ness of the plot, as well as the grammatical errors here and there, I sadly must agree with ngrey--it's...shall we say, mediocre at best.

Rainbow Dash, Equestria's Fastest mare. She's been chosen by Twilight Sparkle for an undercover mission. The mission is simple enough: Disguised as a Breezie, she's to infiltrate a local Changeling hive, locate and retrieve a green orb, and return with it. Rainbow's mind might wander to perverted thoughts in her new form, but she's loyal to the mission. Unfortunately, something seems to be following after her. Will she be able to finish her mission, or will she get caught by her pursuers?

I say unto thee, nay.

...or "Stung by an Egg-Celent Plan"

Nay!

Warnings: Gore, Oviposition, Vore

Nay! Nay! And a thousand times more, I say nay!

I very much enjoyed this story. It aligned well with some of my hideous perversions, which is always a delight to see. I see there are a few complaints and some disputes about the quality of the story and I figured I'd just toss out my two cents. I hope you don't mind a little critique and some suggestions.

I love the story in general, in terms of fetish fuel. That's great. It went right to the point, and beyond. It actually touched on the themes of the cruelty of nature, and how Fluttershy can support some truly horrible things in support of the natural order. I wrote a sadfic about that myself. I can totally agree that it is fascinating to have a pony who's so sweet and timid who actually cares for voracious carnivores like snakes and bears as pets—something normally reserved shaved headed gentlemen with neck tattoos. I had suspected you would have taken that theme even further, where Fluttershy may have realized it was Dash, and been wracked with a terrible dilemma: save her friend, or save the lives of innocent baby wasps? How even more bitter that feeling of betrayal would have been if Dash realized that her sweetest, most kind-hearted friend was knowingly dooming her to a painful death? But... that's neither here nor there. I write depressing fics with a lot of terrible emotion and that's not what this is. This is just fetish fuel.

Which is fine! Don't get me wrong. I saw someone complaining about 'grimdark for the sake of grimdark' and I don't think that's a complaint in and of itself. After all, there are a lot of stories which are funny for the sake of funny, or epic for the sake of epic. Depth is not a requirement, and may in some cases be a detriment.

However, I also have some sympathy for the position that 'fetish for the sake of fetish' has hurt this story in terms of how the scenario was orchestrated. I agree, there was quite a bit of contrivance in how things got set in motion. We are forced to swallow a lot of peculiar things without any attempt at hand-waving (hoof-waving?) from the story. Nobody explains why Dash has to go alone. It was required for the plot, sure, but what motivated the characters to do that? And why a breezie? Why not a Changeling? In this thread, that question was addressed and a lot of post-hoc explanation got presented like 'Maybe they have a hive mind.' If only one of those was in the story, the entire feeling of arbitraryness could have been avoided.

Even when an explanation was put forward, it seemed lazy to me. The search for the green orb was mentioned once, and never mentioned again. This is like painting a big red target on the climactic elements of the plot and saying, 'Everything else is an excuse for this! None of this is developing organically!' It's an example of Chekhov's Gun going disastrously unfired.

My suggestion for how to address that would be to just cut off the beginning of your first act entirely. The part where Dash gets her mission, and there's a bunch of cute exposition from Twilight explaining what's going on, you could have started in the middle of the really interesting bits, and just provided the explanation for how she got there as brief back-story expositions peppered in sparsely and delivered only as the narrative called for it. In other words, just acknowledge that the reasoning why she ended up out there isn't what's important to the plot, and as such doesn't deserve to be addressed in detail. In fact, you could even directly integrate that into the plot. Dash could lament how pointless her original mission seems, in light of her predicament, and how she's traded her life for something that now seems so insignificant by comparison. Or perhaps the reverse? Perhaps she'll be proud of her sacrifice for Equestria? But either way... I would never recommend pointing a camera directly at the McGuffin, as you seemed to do. At most, just show us its green glow when someone opens the suitcase.

My final suggestion would be to slow down the important bits a bit more. The really emotional, really significant, really fetishy important bits of the story need to be given the most detail. I think you understand this already because you did a good job of it. I noticed that the introduction, and the bits where Fluttershy takes Dash home and puts her in the box to be incubated were rushed through, and Dash's rape and later her grisly death were much more detailed and seemed to progress slower. I just think, personally, that effect should have been amplified even more. I would have loved to see even more of the important stuff, and even less of the unimportant stuff. I saw another complaint about that in here, too, saying that someone wishes they heard more about what happened to certain reproductive organs. So I think I'm not alone with this suggestion.

I hope I'm not being too negative. I really did enjoy the story. In fact, the only times I write lengthy complaints are when the story fires my imagination. :pinkiehappy: Thanks for writing it! :pinkiehappy:

5772991
Now this is a decent review\reply! None of the folks before this managed to give any useful information whatsoever. I agree with most of what this person says.

That was me who asked for more details too... Though I think that shortening anything else (except maybe the beginning) is unnecessary since I liked to see how Fluttershy was basically preparing and setting up the deathtrap for Dash. Oh, and these descriptions how she nurtured the little critters inside Dash with warmth and moisture... SO HOT. And the final part where she disposes of what little remains of the pegasus... I loved it too.
On a related note, <WARNING, DISTURBING PERSONAL NON-STORY RELATED CONTENT AHEAD> that was the first clopfic that I just couldn't resist and finished before the actual ending... Right when her eye started itching, it was just too much to resist!

Your idea about incorporating introduction into the later parts of the story (maybe as random memory flashes when she's lying incapacitated on the ground staring at the sky above) would indeed probably work better. But personally I feel that the overall quality of descriptions and the story, and more importantly the events that it featured were so great, that I would still love it even if the exposition part was the crappiest in the world!
All downsides are just SO INSIGNIFICANT compared to the actual fetish fueled content this story provides! I love it more than any other clopfic I've ever read! Sure, Xenophilia has better characterisation and stuff (it's a whole lot bigger due to it too), but it doesn't have ANYTHING close to what this fic has in terms of fetish content! And that's exactly what I came here for. In the end, I totally got what I wanted and even more, so I'm VERY happy with this story =)

P.S. Does anyone know of any other stories like this? I need more! <WARNING, DISTURBING PERSONAL NON-STORY RELATED CONTENT AHEAD> I wish I could erase my memory and clop to this gorgeous story every time I need it =P

5773078

Yeah when I think about it more, maybe shortening the unimportant stuff isn't needed. It was pretty short. Maybe just lengthening the important stuff some more.

Actually, you bring up a few good points about the story. Let me respond as best as I can.

5772991

We are forced to swallow a lot of peculiar things without any attempt at hand-waving (hoof-waving?) from the story. Nobody explains why Dash has to go alone. It was required for the plot, sure, but what motivated the characters to do that? And why a breezie? Why not a Changeling?

I thought, perhaps foolishly, that the explanation at the beginning of the story was enough to tell the reason for her going alone as a breezie (Speed plus size would make her nearly undetectable by the hive). I actually had not thought of reasons for not being a Changeling, and perhaps I should have added a part explaining that as well. Granted, it was AFTER the fact that there were discussions about it, but I do ascribe to the "Changelings have a hive mind" headcanon to keep up with who is actually a disguised pony or changeling. Another reason for the breezie is that Twilight's done the spell before. Who knows how complicated a changeling TF spell would be? Describing and explaining, in character, the reasons for choosing the breezie I felt would have been unnecessary.

I had suspected you would have taken that theme even further, where Fluttershy may have realized it was Dash, and been wracked with a terrible dilemma: save her friend, or save the lives of innocent baby wasps? How even more bitter that feeling of betrayal would have been if Dash realized that her sweetest, most kind-hearted friend was knowingly dooming her to a painful death?

I didn't even think to take the story that way, mostly because I forgot that the Mane 6 breezies actually had their cutie marks. Plot hole in my story, I know.

I noticed that the introduction, and the bits where Fluttershy takes Dash home and puts her in the box to be incubated were rushed through, and Dash's rape and later her grisly death were much more detailed and seemed to progress slower.

A small problem I have with my writing tends to be in the pacing, I've seen. I am actively trying to work on it, but it's hard to know if I'm being too short in parts, or too long.

5772416

Didn't you think that Changelings can... you know, FEEL EMOTIONS and probably have a hive-mind?

Actually, that's an interesting point, and another thing I hadn't thought of. Since changelings feed off emotions, would that mean that changelings themselves don't have emotions? That would be a dead giveaway that the 'changeling' wasn't who she said she was, if that was true.


5772374

It just comes off like an excuse to do the fetish, and it's needlessly cruel in its treatment of a kickass female.

Just a note, I've written stories that have killed off most of the Mane 6 already. I don't discriminate and I don't care if someone dislikes a story because I wrote something bad happening to their 'special' pony. Don't like it? Leave a downvote, move on, and don't be a dick about it. I'm leaving up your posts for now, but please, please, please, don't start flame wars.

And judging by its low rating, I am not alone.

Actually, most of my stories end up with more downvotes than upvotes, and most of those downvotes aren't even from people who read the story. They see a theme they don't like, not read the story, and downvote it. Downvotes and upvotes don't translate to how the story's turned out. I really only look at the number of times the story's been read, or how many have put it in their favorites.

Just a note, I've written stories that have killed off most of the Mane 6 already.

I can back is up, as well as becoming a sex toy from what I have read.

It's not as bad as I thought it was...

IT WAS SO MUCH WORSE! I'M AN IDIOT! TRIGGER WARNINGS ARE THERE FOR A REASON!

Thank you for reading my comment :D


On the serious side, it was a good story (for people who like this stuff) though there are some inconsistencies. At one point you say that Fluttershy no longer considers Dash as a living being. Yet, you repeatedly show that she acknowledges that she can think, feel and is aware.
(Also, while I'm unsure what Fluttershy would do if she found a live nest, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't take it away from where it was, probably just move it to the safest nearby place.)

Also, was Fluttershy not informed of what was happening? That's the idea I got at the start, that she was told what was happening but just couldn't come.

There are other inconsistencies but my iPad doesn't like me right now.

5776369

Also, was Fluttershy not informed of what was happening? That's the idea I got at the start, that she was told what was happening but just couldn't come.

Again, i figured it would be implied that she was unaware of things going on because it was an emergency and she was going to be gone for a while with little to no contact to the mane 6. I suppose I should have done a better job establishing that the emergency happened before the idea of the mission even had started, and therefore had left before any talk of the changeling hive had started.

5776640
Yes, you should have =P
But the story is not set in stone, you can spend 30 minutes and fix most of the inconsistences and plot holes that were noted in the comments. Personally I would really appreciate you making this awesome story even better! ^_^

P.S. I sent you my suggestion on the whole cutie mark dilemma via a message. Not sure if you saw it or not...

Damn near made me cry...

I was somewhat cautious reading this story, seeing the number of downvotes. I can clearly say that I was wrong about that. This story does NOT deserve the number of downvotes its been given. Despite Fluttershy's WAY out of character moment, this story was damn good, and as someone who loves oviposition porn, I say it was a good read. ( The vore, gore and death wasn't really my thing, but still good.)

A decently written clop story. Definitely not my thing, but meh, I'm into weirder shit than this, so I'm not going to judge. I find down voting for content to be a weakass practice.

I was tempted to downvotes for not making a joke about this: i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/012/564/fluttershynature.png

So much angst over this fic

5780848
Like I said earlier, downvotes don't translate into quality of a story in most cases. Yes, there are some really poorly written stories out there, but most users tend to use the downvote as a way of saying they didn't read the story because it was a theme they didn't like. I've had that happen on most of my stories, so I don't really care about the downvotes.

5781070 I was wondering when somepony would do this. I was thinking about putting this up, you just beat me to the punch!

And does anyone know where I can find more stories like this? Egg laying, hatching, consuming the host?

Quality wise, it was well written, so I'll refrain from downvoting it. (also because I knew full well what I was getting into, dammit) and while I'm sure this subject matter appeals to some people, I myself apparently, am not amongst that group of people. I fully regret reading this, since I <3 Rainbow to pieces, but at the same time I can admit that it was well written.

WHAT DID I JUST READ?:rainbowderp:

I very much enjoyed reading this story, I could have done with a little more detail, but that does not distract from the narrative.

xD i love it;) sufficiently dark yet pleasurable to read. Fav'd.

I'm honestly shocked at Fluttershy's reaction to parasites. She can't even say 'kill'. And her stupidity. The only time breezies are in Equestria is when they're gathering pollen. And Dash retained her color scheme. How did Fluttershy not put two and two together? And besides, breezies are sentient. Wasps aren't. She let a sentient being die for bugs. She helped slaughter a larger and smarter species(though it was met with failure) just because her friends wanted her to. I was also surprised by how quickly the eggs developed, and the ending(though the ending can be excused on account to darkness). This was not at all what I expected. I originally though she would be impregnated by the changelings, after being discovered and changed back, or by breezies. I'd actually like to see the second one.

6068236 I actually did a little bit of research into parasitic wasps and how long it takes for eggs to develop. According to the article, it takes three days.

the story is great.........but the lack of felling make its weird :pinkiesick:

Fluttershy's reaction made this story one of the most horrifying things I have ever read on fimfiction... I'm not sure why she wasn't told in TWO DAYS that Dash had been turned into a Breezie.

I just...

What did I just see?

5782536
At this point I wouldn't even mind something of good quality outside the MLP fandom... Damn, this stuff seems to be rare =\

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