• Member Since 18th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen 4 hours ago

OnionPie


I'm nothing special, but I am trying.

T
Source

After many hard years of living with weak and stunted wings, Scootaloo finally decides to end her life. On her way to her grave, she wanders through a snowy Ponyville night, reflecting on the past that has haunted her life. But despite her determination, some friends are too stubborn to see that there are things too broken to fix, too proud to lay down their belief that you can be more than is possible. Some friends are just too loyal to let you go.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 90 )

I'm glad you finally published your fic. :pinkiehappy:

2902082
Only took seven drafts. Here's hoping people will like it! :pinkiesad2:

So? Where's the rest of it?

I mean what possible gift could Rainbow have to make up for all the years of patronizing and wasting Scoot's time? Obviously she never adopted her.

2902218
That's the end. I wanted an open ending that beamed "Life goes on". It's a theme, you see. :twilightsmile:

As for your second question: that's for you to imagine.

Well, I don't care what others think. I like it. Because of your awesomeness, I award you-

Five mustaches!

:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

Enjoy your reward!

2902331
That's a lot of mustaches! Thank you! :pinkiegasp:

I must say, as I read the description of her terrible descent into that gorge, I expected her to see the rainbow and fly to its end, leaving the reader with no certainty: did she hit the ground first?

Nevertheless, I think I enjoyed your own ending more.

2902590
That is an interesting idea. And I'm glad to hear you liked it.

I loved this story!!:pinkiehappy: please write another :twilightsmile:

2902987
Will do! Hopefully my next one won't take as long as this one did. I went through seven drafts, if you can believe it! :pinkiehappy:

2903030 i cant wait to read your next one :pinkiehappy: if you need someone to proofread it for you id be happy to :twilightsmile:

It was sad and i loved it it was so sweet :heart: :rainbowkiss:

2903043
I might just take you up on that offer sometime. Thanks! :twilightsmile:

2903051
I'm glad to hear you liked it! Thank you so much for reading.

wow, this was depressing until the end. Good job! :pinkiehappy: have six staches :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

2903105
What's with the 'staches, is it a form of currency now? Also, you still owe me one more 'stache, so pay up! :pinkiecrazy:

2903094 anytime, if you want check out some of my stories. im working on a one shot right now. would you like the password to view what i have of it now?

2903216
Sure! Go ahead and link me in a PM. I might not be able to read it tonight, though; it's getting a little late in Europe right now. Heh. But maybe I can check it out tomorrow :twilightsmile:

2903129 the staches are the new bits :raritywink: also the sixth stache was my pics stache

I'm usually not a big fan of depressing Scootafiction, but this was still very well done. The imagery, the voice, the flashbacks, all finely crafted. And the ending... well, I won't spoil anything for any curious onlookers.

Suffice to say, I'm glad I stuck through it.

you are now officially my favorite author on fimfiction
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:
10 moustache X 10

Damn. That.... That was impressive.

Really well done, and I quite liked how it ended.

~Skeeter The Lurker

2903348
2903462
2905995
You guys are far too kind, but thank you! It always makes me feel happy inside when strangers take the time out of their lives to read my silly scribblings.

2906212

Kind? I'm being sincere! It was excellent.

~Skeeter The Lurker

2906218
Oh shush. :pinkiesad2:
I like how you sign all your comments with your name, by the way. It's cute and makes you seem all professional.

2906873

Professional? Hardly. Just a thing I do, you know?

Most get annoyed that I do that. You didn't. Thank you.

~Skeeter The Lurker

2906878
Love and tolerate, I say. A lurker should be allowed to sign his boots if he so desired. :pinkiehappy:

2906886

HAHA! That's clever!

You.

I like you.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Scootaloo and Rainbow. Sad tag? Eh, par for the course. Nice writing overall. Expected. Curtain fall? Somewhat akin to The Sopranos finale end scene, which also had reasonability in its purposed theme. Not technically disappointing, but still doesn't quite allay that distinct feeling of 'huh?'

Your previous story did something similar, but had at least ended at the final stretches of the falling action. This round, the ending felt as if it happened in the juncture between the climax and falling action. It was a roller coaster ride, for sure, but the abruptness flung the reader(s) into a trajectory that, well, felt kind of like this at 0:19. The reader(s) sort of had to experience the rest of the falling action themselves (kinda like Coyote. See? Imagery!), instead of doing so vicariously through the characters. Does that make sense? In any case, take that as you will. And yes, that is you at 0:31. :trollestia:

2907785
Very interesting use of metaphors there, hehe. In hindsight, I do agree with what you are saying; I could have stretched on a little further to really tie everything up thematically. I suppose a too open ending might not have worked for everybody. Thanks for the feedback! :pinkiehappy:

Edit: I just noticed you're 'Mister One-Hundredth Follower'. It's nice to hear from you.

I really like the picture you chose. It goes well with the story. :yay:

Very good! I enjoyed the read, job well done. I can see you put much effort into it, and it certainly payed off. :pinkiehappy:

2912459
I can't complain. Thanks for proofreading it!

Comment posted by Myrandall deleted Jul 25th, 2013

2912541

I look into the ruby eyes of the mare

They were described as being magenta a moment ago...

2931147
I fixed it. Thanks for pointing it out. :twilightsmile:

Congratulations; this story has good enough grammar to be added to the Good Grammar Directory, a comprehensive directory of grammatically correct stories on FIMFiction.

2980094
Many thanks, comrade.

Beautiful, a true work of art.
~N

Really awesome writing, so much emotion! :raritydespair:

3166110
You are far too kind. But thank you! :twilightsmile:

I enjoyed this
Have some stash
:moustache::moustache::moustache:

3197875
That's a lot of 'stash! :pinkiegasp:
Thank you!

This story was amazing and very touching, Liked and faved. :twilightsheepish:

3250769
Thank you so very much! It is tremendously inspiring to hear that you liked it.

I cannot even describe my feelings in this story. This was amazing, and it is going into my "Top Favorites", right next to "Survivor Shy".

3598383
Wow! Thanks! I'm glad you liked my silly scribblings. More is on the way if you're still feeling hungry. :twilightsmile:

This doesn't have all of my yesses but it does have a large majority:eeyup:

This was wonderful, a great read! You sound like an amazing author and one of the few that actually takes the time to make sure there are no errors, respect man. I would give you like a thousand moustaches right now if I could just figure out how to access the pony emojis on my phone... :D I hope a smiley will suffice!

3634203
A smiley face will more than suffice! Thank you so much for reading and offering your kind words. More stories are on the way, so feel free to hit that 'follow' button if you're interested. :twilightsmile:

3633390
Thank you! I take this as meaning that I'm doing something right, but should keep working to improve my writing, which I will! :pinkiehappy:

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