Epilogue: Successes, Parties, and Princesses
Epilogue: Successes, Parties, and Princesses
Vigil almost dropped the bolt of cloth he was carrying, as he heard Rarity squeal. He quickly put the cloth down on the workbench, and raced into the shop. “Are you alright?!”
“I’m better than alright! Look!” She levitated over a letter to him. “Fancy Pants accepted every one of the designs! I’m going to be the biggest name for stallions’ apparel in the Crystal Empire!”
He scanned the letter’s contents, and looked up at her. “This is great! Congratulations!”
She playfully bopped him on the nose. “You played a major part in this. Without your help I don’t know if I could have finished the project, much less have completed it by the deadline.”
“I didn’t do much at all. They were your designs from start to finish. I just tried to keep from under hoof.” He gave her a self-depreciating smile.
“You modeled for the creation of the designs and for Fancy when he came to see them in person. You’ve done countless things around the shop and for me. You made sure that I’ve eaten properly, exercised, and rested instead of running myself into the dirt. You even convinced me to go with Fluttershy to the spa when I had decided to skip, which would have been horrible for both her and me. You have been a marvel! Don’t sell yourself short.”
“It’s nothing compared to what you have done for me. I owe you so much.”
“You said something like that when we were in the Empire. What do you think you should be doing or accomplish to repay me?”
The question struck him in an odd way. He couldn’t even think of a clear answer. “I’m not sure. But I have not saved your life, restored you to the good graces of a country, and then fought an opponent twice my size for you.”
“You crazy stallion,” she said, as she kissed him on the nose. “You’ve already repaid me.” She patted her necklace, where the gem set in a silver setting on a matching finely wrought chain. “You gave me your heart.”
“I don’t know if it’s enough.”
“Are you saying I’m lying to you?” Her tone sounded hurt.
He hugged her and kissed the side of her head, as he told her, “Absolutely not!" His voice lost a little confidence in himself, as he told her, " I guess I’m afraid that I haven’t done enough to earn the love you have given me." He sighed with regret. "I haven’t courted you properly, I haven’t gotten you gifts, and I’ve failed as your coltfriend utterly. Nothing has happened the way I thought finding the mare of my dreams would go.”
She leaned against him, put her head under his chin, and softly laughed. “You know, I once lived with the fantasy that I would marry a prince. He and I would fall in love at first sight; he would sweep me away to his castle to lively happily ever after, all that foolish and empty nonsense. When I did have the opportunity to meet a prince, he turned out to be the most repugnant individual I had ever had encountered.”
She leaned back so he could see her eyes. “I’ve found a stallion much better than anything my dreams ever showed me. You are a knightly Lancer who cares for who I am and what I do. You support me in every way, however and whenever you can. You put up with my drama fits, my self-doubt, and raise me when I need it most, even when I make it difficult for you. Real relationships should never be based on ideals, foals stories, and society’s baseless assumptions. Just being who you are is more than enough to earn my love.”
He hugged her to him tightly. “You certainly are a priceless rarity.” Just as they were about to kiss, a knock sounded on the shop’s door.
Rarity muttered under her breath, “Oh come on.”
Vigil chuckled and lightly nipped her ear with his teeth. She gasped in surprise, and blushed a wonderful shade of pink. “We’ll just have to continue our moment later.”
Rarity lightly swatted him on the shoulder. She headed back to the workshop to grab her measuring tape. “Would you be a dear, and invite them in? I’m not really sure why I have an open sign; ponies never seem to just walk into the shop.”
He opened the door, and was greeted by Pinkie handing him an invitation. “You’re invited to a ‘Come Back Soon’ party. It won’t be as fun as the one I threw for you and Rarity in the Crystal Empire, but it’ll still be fun!”
Struck by inspiration, Vigil motioned Pinkie closer. He whispered some news, and a couple of ideas to her.
Her ears perked up, and she nodded vigorously when he had finished.
He grinned conspiratorially. “That would make for a happier party, don’t you think?”
Pinkie bounced up and down with enthusiastic energy. “You betcha! I’ll even change the invitations!”
Rarity came to the door, and stood beside Vigil. “What was that darling? I thought you said something about changing invitations.”
“No time to explain. Party planning, preparation, and procurement work needs to be done. See you two later!” With that, she was gone in a blur of pink.
Rarity cut her eyes over to the stallion at her side, before asking, “Vigil, what did you just do?”
“All I did was suggest a little more lighthearted title for the party. She seemed to like the idea.”
She didn’t buy it for one second, and hummed a disbelieving note. “Darling, I’m not that gullible.”
He gave her a quick peck on the nose. “I never thought you were. However, it’s mainly the truth. We’ll both have to just have to wait to see what she comes up with.”
“That’s somewhat of a scary thought.”
*****
Vigil managed to slip in a trip to Berry Punch’s store, while running an errand for Rarity. He made sure to get a couple of bottles of Rarity’s favorite wine, as well as a good variety for the guests that would be arriving in the evening. He had trouble sneaking the bottles into the boutique, as they would clink together in his saddle bags as he moved. It took a couple of tries, lucky timing, and quietly putting them one at a time through the kitchen window, but he managed it.
As he hid the wine in various places around the kitchen, Pinkie appeared at the open window. The pink pony whispered, “Hey, Vigil, come here.”
He checked to see if Rarity was close by, and then stealthily made his way over to the window. He quietly asked, “Is everything alright?”
She nodded. “Yep, project Toast the Seamstress is proceeding as planned. I just wanted you to know that you’ll need to wear a suit.”
He gave her a surprised look. “Sure, but may I ask why?”
Pinkie did a remarkable impersonation of a high Canterlot accent, as she replied, “You may ask, my good stallion, but I shall not answer." She raised her nose in the air, assuming the attitude of a Canterlot elite. "There have been a couple of additions to the guest list for our little soirée. Plans have been changed to accommodate them, and to better fit with the evening’s theme. I merely wanted to present you with ample time to make what adjustments you see fit.” With that, Pinkie yet again sped off in a blur.
Rarity walked into the kitchen, as Vigil shook his head at the whole conversation and shut the window.
“Vigil, why are you shaking your head at the window?”
He shrugged and gave her a lopsided grin. He answered simply, “Just Pinkie being Pinkie.”
Rarity nodded in understanding. “Say no more.”
*****
That evening, a soft knock came on the boutique’s door well before the party’s official start. Vigil let the waiting Elements in, and helped them bring in the supplies and food for the party. They had all worn their Gala dresses, and he thought they all looked marvelous.
Twilight whispered to him, “Where is Rarity?”
Vigil took a moment to put the bag he had been carrying with his mouth onto the counter, before answering, “Upstairs getting ready. She doesn’t suspect a thing.”
Applejack nudged him. “We got it from here, sugar cube. You’ve got a little gettin’ ready to do yourself.”
He quietly slipped into the workroom, and put on one of the suits that Rarity had created. It had been her favorite of the bunch. He smiled as he recalled her telling him, “It goes so well with your eyes.”
As he was adjusting his tie, he heard Rarity’s surprised voice. “What are you girls doing here? The party is not supposed to be for another hour! Not that you don’t look lovely, but why in Equestria are you all dressed up? This wasn’t supposed to be that kind of party.”
Taking Rarity’s words as a cue, Vigil stepped out from the workroom. “There was a slight change of plans. This evening has been turned into a celebration for your success with the Crystal Empire designs.”
She quickly turned to him, as the realization of what had happened hit her. “This was supposed to be for you!”
“A ‘Come Back Soon’ party for me seemed a little inappropriate when compared to your good news.”
Not caring what it did to his suit, Rarity hugged him tightly. She whispered in his ear, “This is exactly what I meant. Only a heartless nag would refuse the love of a stallion that would do a thing like this for her.”
Rarity, feeling under-dressed, took a minute to slip into her own Gala dress. She made it a point to still wear Vigil's gem. She gave Vigil a smile, when he noticed she had not taken it off. He did not say anything, but the smile he returned was all she needed to know that he was flattered by the gesture. The cheerful group talked, shared gossip, and enjoyed the food and each other’s company. Pinkie’s ears suddenly turned towards the door and she bounded towards the shop’s entrance. “They’re here!”
The gathered ponies looked at her in confusion. Rarity, unable to contain her curiosity, asked, “Who do you mean, dear? Nopony has even knocked on the door.”
Pinkie opened the door, much to the surprise of Luna, whose raised hoof had been ready to knock on the door.
Celestia strode past her shocked sister, as if nothing out of the ordinary had occurred. “Hello, my little ponies. I hope we’ve arrived on time.”
“You’re right on time, princess.” Pinkie grabbed Luna’s still outstretched hoof, and guided her into the shop.
After the obligatory greetings, and everypony settling back down, Vigil went into the kitchen to pour the princesses some of the wine. As he began to tilt one of the bottles over a wine glass, an aura of magic stopped him.
“Stalwart Vigil, I need to speak with you.”
Vigil swallowed, and turned to Luna. “Yes, princess?”
She levitated the wine from his grasp, and returned it to the counter. She regarded him with an unreadable expression. “Have you packed in preparation for your return trip?”
“Not yet. I was going to in the morning. The train to the Empire doesn’t leave until late tomorrow afternoon.”
“That is good to hear. You will not need to do so.”
His heart fell. A number of horrible thoughts flew through his mind. What did I do? What didn’t I do? Did I insult the princesses somehow? He carefully asked, “Have I conducted myself improperly?”
Seeing his dejection, she smiled and shook her head. “Nothing of the sort, my sister and I have found a suitable post for you. The official details of your new duties will come by a special courier on the morrow. You are to meet them at the train station at noon.”
He knew this would be coming, but being reminded that he would have to part with Rarity for a time was painful. “May I know where I will be stationed and what my rank will be?”
She lifted her nose as if insulted, but her barely contained laughter made it clear she was not serious. “Stalwart Vigil, I have to follow the rules, just as my sister does, you’re well aware of that. I cannot divulge the particulars of your orders in a setting like this, it would violate protocol.” She leaned close, and quietly told him, “I will let you know this much, you shall remain at the rank of captain.” She drew back from him. “We shall not talk of such things any more this night. Doing so would spoil the festivities. I just wanted to spare you the effort of packing when it would not be necessary, for a while at least.”
He slightly bowed. “Thank you for your consideration.”
“Sleep soundly this night, and tomorrow will play out as it will. Or perhaps, you should choose to not sleep at all, and entertain the company of a certain mare that you have been dreaming so passionately about of late.” Vigil’s blush reached his ears. He stammered, as he tried to find something to say in response. Luna pointed towards the bottle of wine, and playfully pointed out, “I believe that you were going to pour me and my sister some wine, before I interrupted you.”
*****
Even with the comfort that Rarity’s guest bed provided, Vigil found he could not sleep. He kept trying to find some hidden meaning or hint in Luna’s words. Luna had always had a bit of a mischievous streak to her. Knowing that Celestia had been involved in whatever was going to happen added a new dimension to the puzzle. Celestia was even worse than Luna, and was known to pull pranks on unsuspecting ponies.
He made his way to the window, and looked out at the moon. “Why did you tell me anything? You knew I would never let this rest. Should I look forward to whatever is going to happen tomorrow, or dread it?”
“Darling, you’re talking to yourself,” Rarity said, from the doorway.
“I was actually talking to Luna. Well, the moon really.” He pointed to the pale orb. “I think she’s playing with me, but I don’t know why.”
“She likes you. While that is a good thing in one way, it makes you a target for her odd sense of humor.”
She was wearing the red and gold kimono again, and the sight of it made Vigil smile. “You look stunning in that.”
She looked down at the kimono in disbelief. “What, this old thing? I was thinking about getting a new one.”
“Don’t do that. I have fond memories of that kimono. It was the first thing I saw you in, after you freed me.”
“You remember that?” She arched an eyebrow. “I thought I saw a spark of jealousy when you met Fancy. Just how long have you harbored your amorous thoughts for me?”
He guiltily smiled. “Before I could even saw you, I had feelings for you. While I was trapped in that mannequin, I felt the face of a mare who helped me when I needed it most. I didn’t need to see to know that you were a special and rare beauty.”
She blushed. “You say the most wonderful things to a lady. Are you a poet as well as a Lancer?”
“With you as inspiration, I would be willing to give it a try.”
She shook her head. “You silly, romantic thing, you should get to bed. You’re going to have a big day tomorrow, whatever happens.”
“I won’t be able to sleep. Luna’s words are bothering me too much.”
Rarity went over to the bed and lay down. She patted the open space beside her. “Come here, and lay down.”
He did so, and she wrapped her forelegs around him. She kissed the top of his head, and then put her cheek on it. “If they ship you off to Appleloosa, I will be right here waiting for you to get back.”
He nuzzled her neck. “I know. Thinking of you is all that is keeping me from going up the wall.”
She nipped his ear, and he jumped at the unexpected tease. She whispered sultrily in his ear, “That was for earlier. We never did get to finish our ‘moment,’ did we?”
*****
Vigil stood on the Ponyville platform, and watched as ponies departed from the train. Rarity and the other Elements waited with him, all on the lookout for the pony who would be delivering Vigil’s orders.
They were all shocked when a pair of familiar ponies walked towards them, both hitched to a luggage cart each.
Wind turned to Brass. “I told you they’d all be here. You owe me lunch.”
Vigil looked at the pair of Lancers in complete confusion. “What are you two doing here? Where is the special courier?”
Brass grinned. “That would be me, since I outrank our friend here.” Brass momentarily unhitched himself, and rummaged around in his luggage. “Here you go, not even wrinkled.” He hitched himself back up, and shared a grin with Wind.
Vigil took the envelope, and hesitated. His hoof paused mid-way, as reached for the royal seal.
Rarity poked him in the shoulder. “Go on. We’re all on pins and needles.”
He quickly broke the seal, opened the envelope, and pulled out a beautifully penned message. He quickly read it, and smiled at its contents. He reread the message for all to hear:
To captain Stalwart Vigil:
A new post has been created in the town of Ponyville due to the heighted number of threats that the town has faced since Nightmare Moon’s defeat. These threats have ranged from parasprite swarms to rampaging dragons, so your experience and unflagging courage are needed for the new position. Your personal belongings are being shipped to Ponyville, and will arrive shortly. A recent recruit to the Lancers has been assigned to your command. Arriving with him will be a volunteer from the Lancer’s ranks. Till informed otherwise, you will still be considered Lancers under my command.
All patrol schedules, training times, reports, and all other guard functions and forms should comply with Lancer protocols.
Your commander and princess,
Luna
Vigil swept Rarity up in hug, and spun her around. “She played me like a fiddle!” He put Rarity down, and shook hooves with Wind and Brass. “I’m glad you’re here. From what I understand about this town, we’re going to have to stay on our game.” He paused and looked at Brass. “What is this about a ‘volunteer’ from the Lancers?”
Brass started to say something, but when his eyes met with Rainbow’s he found that he had lost the ability to speak. Wind smiled, and answered for the tongue tied Lancer, “After seeing how poorly one particular Element fared in her lancing skills, he felt obligated to come and give her personal lessons.”
Had Brass not strapped himself back to his cart, he would have tackled Wind to the ground and pummeled him. Vigil laughed at the pair. “I can tell you two are going to need me to work on your discipline.”
As he began to return his orders back into the envelope, he noticed a smaller message tucked at the bottom of the envelope. It bore no official seal, but was held closed by a plain dab of wax that seemed to be the kind that had been on his orders.
Rarity leaned over his shoulder, and examined the smaller piece of paper. “What is that?”
“I don’t know.” He broke the dollop of wax, and unfolded the paper. He read her the message:
Dear Vigil,
Luna and I wish you the best in your new position. Ponyville has been the center of many of Equestia’s defining events, thanks to the presence of the Elements of Harmony. If things unfold the way that my sister and I believe, your post will become vitally important. There is a possibility that more of the Guards, Wonderbolts, and Lancers will be stationed there, and placed under your command. We feel much more at ease, knowing that a captain with your experience and dedication is in Ponyville.
Take care, and give Rarity and the rest of the Elements our love. We wish you all the best.
Your princess,
Celestia
P.S. If we fail to receive wedding invitations in the relatively near future, we will ship you to the most northern, frozen lookout post in Equestria.
Rarity giggled. “Luna must have written the post script. Look at the change in the style of writing; it matches the script for your orders. When shall we set the date?”
It took him a moment to recover from the shock of how casually she said it. “I haven’t even asked you yet! I don’t even have a ring to give you!”
“You’ve given me something better than any ring.” She touched the gem hanging around her neck. “And I believe you said that my accepting the shimmer meant we were all but engaged. Let’s just make it official.”
He kissed her heatedly, not caring about the comments, whistles, and catcalls from the other ponies. As they ended the kiss, he smiled, and looked into her eyes. “Nothing would please me more.”
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D'aaaawwwwwwww... *Patrick voice* Happy Ending...
Good epilogue. A good way to end a great story.
2762791 Thank you for the comment! I certainly do not take constructive criticism as being rude or hateful at all. I'm always pleased to see that my writing has caused someone to really think about my stories enough to form such opinions.
I have just posted an epilogue to this story that gives Rarity and Vigil's relationship a little more to it. It also show's Rarity's personality much more, and explains why she so readily accepts his affections. However, I agree that my portrayal of their relationship is one of the weaker aspects of this story.
As for the Vigil's return to the Empire being a bit on the easy side, I really bounced back and forth as to how to handle it. Making it difficult for him would take the story in a direction I really didn't know if I wanted to go. Making his return too easy (no Stone or the council) and the story would be soulless. I kind of shot for the middle. As small as the Empire comparatively is, I reasoned that the ponies there would have known what had happened with Vigil and the horn with much more understanding and forgiveness since they literally would know Vigil and had lived in the same conditions that forced his hoof than the general population of Equestrian would know what occurred with Luna, particularly since the events would have only happened a few months ago to them. I see your point completely, but I'm not exactly sure how to tackle it without completely changing the dynamic of the story.
Thank you for your thoughts,and your kind words. I'm not sure if I have talent, but I make up for with dogged determination. Feedback like this is what has made me into a much better author, and makes me keep on writing. I greatly appreciate it.
write about their wedding! please~
Awwww. Good story.
Only one thing left to say: Sequel! Now!
...please?
2765122 I would not even know where to begin with a follow up to this story. I've also kind of painted myself into a corner by hinting that Vigil could become the head of the guards assigned to protect princess Twilight. Without more material from the series to work with, I'm kind of toast. I don't do well fabricating stories on my own, but I love to take pieces of established worlds and tie them together in interesting and odd ways. The only possibility that I can see of a real continuation of this story is that I I have an very, and I mean very rough idea for a side story that tells about Rainbow's and Brass' adventures in the Empire during their little side trip. However, I'm trying to get away from OC stories, since they have such a horrible stigma of being of poor quality and I've been pushing myself to work with characters than already have established personalities. I really don't see the side story going anywhere at this point, so this is probably it for this story.
2765066 As much as I loved writing this, I'm not sure what i would do to continue it. I think I have done all that I can with this story, and I want to leave it as is. (Barring fixing grammar mistakes and the like.) The only wedding scene I have attempted (a brief description of the chaos during Cadence and Shining's marriage) was in my story "A Swift Message," and that was due to the fact it was such a pivotal moment in my story. Trying to complete a whole wedding, preparations and all, would be beyond me. Thank you for wanting more of the story, it's a flattering complement.
2767203 Aww
Just bingeread the whole thing and I do not regret it. Loved the backstory and Rarity's fights and everything.
2773431 Whoa, that's a ton of reading in one sitting. Thank you, that's quite a complement in itself.
I love playing with different aspects of stories that need a little filling in. Sombra is such a blank canvas that he is just great to mess around with. (This is my second time using him as a main character, but for this one he's the good guy.) The Crystal Empire itself is just a playground waiting to be explored. Questions need to be answered, and I love to try to in a rational way. Are crystal ponies just earth ponies, or are they a breed all to their own? How did they make their structures (homes, palace, etc.) out of crystals? Why put the Crystal Heart in the most northern region of Equestria, when Canterlot is much more in the center? What were the politics behind that, if any? Is the shimmer crystal ponies have just an neat side effect of the Crystal Heart's magic, or something more? So many questions, too few hours in the day.
I'm glad you enjoyed the fight scene, I didn't know if I did that justice or not. I'm not very good at action oriented sections of stories, but I gave it my best shot.
Great story, I hope it really opens the way for more fics with the King SOmbra and Rarity pairing, there is just something about those two that I believe just feels right.
And I hope you seriously consider giving this pairing a revisit in the future. As I was reading this story, I was expecting some kind of angsty love triangle relationship between Stalwart Vigil, Rarity and Princess Luna.
Luna feeling herself attracted to Stalwart because the two were similarly corrupted and purified...Rarity feeling herself inadequate and jealous of the princess...and Vigil just plain torn between the two mares. You didn't went there, which is fine, this tale was one of pure love and happinness, but I what I am trying to say is that this "crack" pairing can give us many more awesome stories with little to no changes to your personal headcanon. 
Not to mention, there have been some recent developments in the IDW comics concerning Rarity (that would be spoilerish to mention directly)...but that made her even more of a perfect match for King Sombra.
This was great! It had an original plot that kept me reading and giving Sombra a back story like he was corrupted like Luna and wasn't born evil was intriguing.
An interesting characterization of Vigil/Sombra
. His old school style of courting and gentlecolt behavior fits nicely as a romantic partner to Rarity and her tastes.
The relationship between the two flowed nicely and had a good feel to it though I feel that an expansion on their time together in Ponyville could have really improved the story and showed a deeper link between the two. I really liked how you depicted the crystal ponies (I'm really big on the crystal ponies) in this and the little snippets of their society.
Overall this was a great story to read and shows your creative strength of taking what little information is given in the show and making an interesting story line and characters. 
A most impressive story, you give much needed and rather surprising depth to Sombra (aka Vigil). I had not even considered the possibility he could be redeemable, let alone a good match for Rarity... yet it really does truly work the way you write him. He makes a perfect partner for her, and really, she for him. The story could have been longer or more complicated but really I felt it was wrapped up very nicely in the end, its a great happy ending for a tormented soul and his new bride-to-be. Plus, there's countless potential for a sequel.
Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
3061514 That's a high compliment indeed. Thanks for the offer, but after a couple of very rough rejections from ED, I don't often submit anything to them.
Don't get me wrong, I like ED, but their pre-readers tend to be jerks. They have made some improvements with them here lately, but I'm still a little gun shy due to their past treatment.
That was impressive. While there were a few errors in continuity and grammar the story itself was compelling and engaging. Well done
3076144 Thank you kindly. I have been meaning to go back through and really hammer out all the errors that I missed, but time has not be a friend of mine here lately. I appreciate the feedback.
3179841 I will confess, next to Pinkie, I find writing for Spike is very difficult. I do feel kind of bad just mentioning the little guy once and never really bringing him into the story, but I didn't know what to do with him without it making things complicated with the situation between him, Rarity, and Vigil. However, if I revisit this story in some form, I think that Spike will play a much larger part in it.
I must confess I went into this story with modest expectations. A crack ship for a laugh.
However, this turned out be completely delightful. I have rarely seen anyone "get" Rarity to the degree you do in this story. That alone made this story an absolute pleasure to read. That you then managed to create a believable backstory for Sombra, and a sympathetic one at that was just sweet icing on the cake. Well done.
3262657 Thank you very much! This story started off as a wild idea in the back of my head. Then I saw the Crack Ships Inc. challenge with Sombra and Rarity and said, "Why not?"
I have to admit, I like writing for Rarity. There is just something with her character that I find appealing. There is such an odd mixture of girly girl mixed in with a manticore bucking, diamond dog manipulating, dragon staring down lady that she is just wonderful character to work with.
I absolutely hate they have done nothing with, and are not planning to, do more with Sombra. So much potential wasted. I want more details about him and the Crystal Empire, yet we get nothing! At least it gives us authors lots of untouched material to work with.
3278900
Indeed, Rarity is, if she is allowed to, probably the most versatile of the Mane Six. That mare has range.
As for Sombra, look at it as an opportunity to write the Silmarillion (or part of it, anyhow) for Sauron
Well that went by fast, not the length of the chapters mind you,
but the speed at which they progressed. It just feels like there
could have alot more to this story. I for one would have liked to
see more character development, such as reckoning with ones
past and regaining the trust of his friends. Also a relapse back
into Sombra would have been cool. But over all this was a good read.
3282004
So, does that mean that Sombra had another name before he was drawn in by MLP's Morgoth/Melkor equivalent?
Fuck it, I liked that a lot!
3890207 Thank you! The story started as a random idea in my head about Sombra's origins. The next thing I knew, the story just poured out.
3895093
Heh, aint that ow all the great ones start? I for one approve of SombraXRarity! Hoora!
Lovely, Darling! I ADORE anything RarityxSombra, but this was an unexpected and pleasant surprise. Your characters were perfect, and I was fan-girling the WHOLE TIME.
One thing I really enjoyed was your level of "seasoning." Some people over spice their stories, and it becomes thick and tasteless. Some people don't put enough, and it gets really bland. But you have created a perfect balance, neither burning my palate or leaving me high and dry. :rarity wink: Great job!
An excellent story that was interesting and well written. However I sometimes felt that the dialog between Vigil and Rarity was sometimes repetitive. Vigil feels guilty and indebted to Rarity and Rarity shows her typical generous nature by placating him. This is not a bad or poorly written transaction, it just seemed to happen a lot. It might be interesting if Vigil moved past this guilt to a point and became more comfortable accepting generosity. By adding some new topics for the characters to discuss you make the characters more dynamic. Please note that this is just my thoughts and opinions and in no way has to be taken seriously. You have a wonderful story here and should be proud of your work.
Sequel, sequel, sequel, sequel! PUULEEEAAASSSSSEEE??!
5731462 Thank you very much. I am glad you liked my odd little take on Sombra and Rarity. In some odd part of my mind, it seemed that they might go well together.
I hate to say it, but I am not really planning on doing a sequel to this story. Where it ended felt natural, and I did not want to pull the story too thin by keeping it going without really having a plan for it.
5476073 Thank you very much.
Sorry about the delay in getting back to you. The system just dumped a whole backlog of messages into my inbox all at the same time, and I am doing my best to make sure that I answer them all.
I completely agree that I put it on a little thick with Vigil's guilt. There are a number of tweaks that I would do the story, if I had to write it over again, and thata would certainly be one of them. I would also flesh out Vigil's and Rarity's romance quite a bit more.
4760886 Thank you so much. I am glad that you enjoyed the story. It is very difficult to get the right balance of elements (no pun intended) so that the story comes out right.
Sorry about the delay getting back to you. Evidently there was a hiccup in the system, and I have been getting messages that were posted almost a year ago. I am doing what I can to answer them all.
Take care, and thank you again.
This great story really inspired my WIP Sombra fimfic!
Interesting take on Sombra very enjoyable story
6892904 Thank you very much. This was my first attempt at a more epic storyline. For a bit, I did not know if I would be up to the task of finishing it. I am glad that you liked it.
6673474 Thank you! I wish you the best on your story. When you post it, I would appreciate a link to it. It is always interesting to read other authors approaches to characters.
Smooooooooooooooooooooooo-whoa!-*CRASH!* ... Dang, that was so smooth I slipped off my chair.
(In Dexter's voice:) "LUNA! STAY OUT OF MY DUHR-EAMS!"
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story and the wonderful comments. I am glad you liked it. It's one of my older stories, and has some rough edges, but it's one of my favorites.
What a great story! I enjoyed every word of it.
It was nice to see a redemption story for Sombra, and a happy ending to top it off.
This was a refreshing take on Sombra, Rarity, and Sombra ships. I really enjoyed it and wouldn't mind seeing more of these two.
It was fairly entertaining but all too easy.
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Thank you for the comments. I tried to have a few serious moments balanced out with few funny and heartwarming. I hope that I succeeded.
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Poor Sombra gets kicked around a lot. I kind of like him not having much of a background in the cannon. It makes it fun to work with him.
For all that I put my characters through, I always try to give them a happy ending.
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I thought a fallen old time royal and Rarity would work. I was glad that my intuition was right.
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Thank you! I like fluffy pieces, with just a little danger. I write to escape the harsh bits of life, and tend to leave such concerns outside my warm, fuzzy writing cocoon. There are a couple of my other stories that get a bit on the grimmer side, but they are the exception rather than the norm.
Awesome story!
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Thank you! This was my first try at writing a quasi adventure story and I learned a lot from pulling it together. Being able to write for Rarity was a blast. Her personality has such a wonderful range and no matter what she is embroiled in she almost always acts a lady. When she does not act a lady it is even more fun to write for her.