• Member Since 21st Dec, 2011
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Random_User


I love getting feedback and constructive criticism. Please feel free to comment. If you take the time to comment, I will take the time to respond.

T
Source

Marble Pie had planned for a simple trip to Ponyville. She needed to complete some business for her parents, sure, but then she could relax and visit with Pinkie Pie. After volunteering to help an injured pony, she finds herself with the opportunity to realize her aspirations of becoming a cook. She also meets the professional, yet personable Horte Cuisine. With the date of her return to the family rock farm looming, she begins to question whether she should return to the gray world she has always known, or stay in Ponyville and pursue her dreams and newly formed relationship.

Written as part of the Crack Shipping Inc. July writing contest. Enjoy!

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 28 )

I am intrigued! Please continue. Cuisine better be careful. Pinkie is watching.

Nuts, looks like this fic will win the contest.

Good show, Random_User, good show.

This is quite interesting.:trixieshiftright: I love stories that focus on background ponies.:pinkiehappy: Let's see what happens next. :pinkiesmile:

2931143>>2925513 Thanks for the kind comments. I try to make my romance stories a little on the fluffy, tender side without getting too sugary. I'm glad your enjoying it.

2921035 Thank you!

2918821 I'm glad you have enjoyed the story so far. I will try to have this story completed in time to enter the July Crack Ship Inc.

2918876>>2925265 It's great to see you enjoying one of my stories again! I don't know if I'll come out on top, there is going to be some stiff competition. Your story with Cuisine and High Style was good. There are a couple of other authors using the headless horse, so there is going to be a wild variety of entries this time. Good luck to you.

2938188 Thanks! I like writing stories with background ponies. There is just enough information to give you a baseline to work with, and then it's all free game.

2938021 Thanks for taking the time to read my story. Thanks too, for telling me how you found this. I often wonder how readers come across my stories.

Oh no now I am curious to see who Pinkie may have dated...

Comment posted by alexanderhunt88 deleted Jul 26th, 2013

Your pacing and characterizations are incredible. I do hope that Pinkie's plan works.

An absolutely wonderful chapter.:twilightsmile: The dialog and characterization is top notch and pacing has a gentle flow to it that makes the story soothing to read. :pinkiesmile:

Can't wait for the next chapter. :pinkiehappy:

BTW you get a fav.

Random_User, you stories never cease to make me smile

2941281>>2941281 Thank you! I've struggled with dialog, and have worked diligently to get it up to par. I'm glad that you enjoy my new approach to it.
I can't take full credit for my characterizations. I take aspects of personalities from people I know, and slip them into the characters I'm writing. (If a couple of my friends knew what personality traits I lifted from them and what characters I used them for, they would probably beat me into a pulp.)
I'm glad you like my pacing. I often worry I skip scenes a little too often.

2947405 I'm sorry, but this is the end for this story. I can' t think of anything more that I could do with the characters that wouldn't stretch the story thin. If you liked this story, I have a couple of more that are in the same vein. "Davenport's Secret" and "Rare Gems Embracing Shadows." If you don't mind a little action thrown in with romance, and you don't mind OC's, "A Swift Message" is one of my older stories that has gotten some positive feedback.
I plan to keep entering the Crack Ship Inc. monthly contests. I don't know what my next story will be, thanks to the random selection of ponies to write about, but it should be similar in flavor to this one.

2947382 I can't tell you how much your comment means to me. When I think of readers, in my mind's eye, I too often see people narrowing their eyes, scrutinizing my every comma placement, and triumphantly pointing out every flaw in my work. (Can you tell that I've submitted a couple of my stories to E.D.?) Having the image of someone smiling and enjoying my stories is a welcome and refreshing thought I will definitely hold onto.

2938737 I think you'll like what I've got planned for the last chapter, when it comes to Pinkie.

Loved your story. It's an unusual pairing for sure (which I guess is the point), but you managed to make all your characters seem lively, fleshed out and likeable. All the sister-bonding and antics between Marble and Pinkie was heart-warming, too. The story is rich in little details in both descriptions and dialogue that make it a pleasure to read. Hope to see more stories from you in the future.

Again I have to say that pacing and characterization was right on the ball.:ajsmug: The interaction between all the characters was a treat to read and made the story flow so smoothly. Thank you for the wonderful story and I hope to see more of your writing in the future. :twilightsmile:

Weird as it still feels hearing them as marble and limestone rather than blinkie and inkie this was really cute and fun. You've likely got my vote n_n

Caramel.

Also, you complement a meal with an appropriate wine. You pay another person (pony?) a compliment.

3009871 Thanks! I should have caught those. I appreciate it!

Excellent story, thank you for writing this. :twilightsmile:

And they end up banging each other in the bedroom, nice haha.

Okay, review posted, here. Thanks for letting me use your story for the first 1k hidden treasures review. :pinkiehappy:

This is like the third or fourth time I've read this great story, but the first time since I've watched the Hearthswarming episode with Pinkie Pie and Applejack's families sharing the holiday. For the record, that version of Marble was LAME!
Your version is vastly superior in every possible way and I consider her canon!

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