I put on my Walter face on as I get my swag on in my I hate baby ducks t shirt and my Make America Great Again hat.
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Ponyville's playmare becomes friends with a local bartender.
This is a a side story to my other story The Three Knight Errant. Thanks to Chengar for his archetype, and Brony Assassin and maskedferret with editing
Note: I have made references to three of my favorite authors in my story. Can anyone tell me who?
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WOW I expected Starcraft, but nevertheless, I was not too disapointed.
>has been playing AC for hours
>thinking about an erb between the head of ubisoft and the pope
>saw the "no-one expects the spanish inquisition" clip
2640048
Oh god... Is that why people read my story
2640083 Oh no I just play SC more than I play AC, so that was my thought prossess, but no need to feel bad this is an intresting story.
2640095
I don't. I was just being silly^^ Thanks for the read and comment
I am... relatively indifferent about this premise.
You could use a new proofreader. Whoever you're using now missed several things. I didn't actually think to make note of them when I saw them, but if you can't find them yourself I can go back and look.
Also, your transitions could use some work. The story, especially in the first parts, felt more like a loosely associated set of shorts than a coherent tale.
2640459
Gah! Shit... I know >.< Thank you for the read and comment. I need all the help I can get
2640467
Nah, you're doing pretty well, compared to a lot of stuff I've read anyway. Sorry I couldn't be more specific in my critiques-- have a bit of a headache, and it's making constructing thoughts difficult.
2640505
thanks, im still working at it though. and your critique was helpful^^
Usual HiE rubbish.
Tip: If I wanted to read about humans there's a lot of better books at my local library. Write about ponies.
2640912
Thank for the read and comment^^
2640912 I understand you're not interested but why did you feel it was worth calling it rubbish but not explaining *why* you think it's rubbish? So y'know maybe the author could improve?
And if you dislike HiE why are you reading it to begin with? It just seems odd.
2648127
Huh?
2648132
He's trying to put a virus on your computer. It's complete bollocks. Just avoid those things when you can.
2694844
Thank you^^
Hmmm... Came here via the Winningverse group page. It's not bad. Oh, a few grammatical clunkers here and there that could stand to be cleaned up by a proofreader with a Manual of Style close by, and the narrative is a bit difficult to track when one comes into the sub-universe cold...
But, for all of that, I kinda like it. Not enough to give you the thumbs up (sorry), but I see some intriguing things here. I hope you haven't File-13'ed the continuation....
3381124
Oh no, not at all^^ I plan on continuing it, just been a bit busy. Thanks for the read
1) Who's like us? Damn few(Renegade Interrupt)! And They're all Dead!
2) Let some-one get that close, they just use a shorter knife. Hmm, just what games do you enjoy play? Sheperd, Wrex?
I'll keep an eye on this.
3414526
I'll give you three guesses, but you'll only need one!
3414535when is more?
3570790
This arc is finished. Talvisota is the second
4163209
Glad you like it