Definitely one of my favorite Fallout: Equestria stories. This was simply amazing. I do not have enough words in mind at the moment to express how much I loved both endings. The first one seems more fitting, but the epilogue gives you that feeling of completeness.

In short; loved this story.

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Thank you, I appreciate the comment! The first ending is the one that 'fits' her. The second one is my apology to Nevermore for making her life so harsh. That, and I still like a happy ending. ^^

I must say, this story is a hidden gem in the FO:E universe. The way you wrote Nevermore is likely one of the best first-person writing I have ever seen. Every line just feels like her.

While some might disagree, I really enjoyed the epilogue. After so much darkness and sadness, I could finally see some happiness in her. Yes, maybe a dark ending would be more fitting to the wasteland, but after so much... I just needed to see her happy, just once.

I hope to see more of your work in the future.

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Thank you! I really appreciate the comment. It means a lot to me to know that others appreciate my story! I'm not planning to be done with writing yet, but I'm probably taking a break for a bit at least!

I prefer this epilogue over the "Other" Ending.

In short, an amazing prequel! Written by an amazing author!

The story of her Captain's Return follows her achievements, the return of the Captain who would dare challenge Hades, the Ghoul King. If you don't want Nevermore's story to end, feel free to pick up the sequel, written by yours truly! Characters from this story are in the sequel; Nevermore included.

So, it seems that Nevermore's friends went out of their way to catch her and give her her memories back. After bringing a dead pony back to life, returning sentience to a ghoul must have been child's play. Overall, a very happy end for her.

The red mane bobbing? Who exactly is this filly the child of?

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Nevermore has relatives. x3

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Thank you very much for your kind comment ^^

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Applesnack has a more positive outlook than Nevermore?

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Thank you for your kind comments, and I'm glad you didn't mash Nevermore's head in. She had enough issues already! But thank you again for reading, and the kind comments. ^^

Gah, such a heart wrencher through and through.

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Thank you for your comments~ It means a lot to me that people still read and enjoy my story. Thank you!

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Sorry you didn't enjoy it, hope you find stories that you do enjoy out there, thank you for reading it though. ^^

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Thanks, and yep.

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Feedback good or bad is what helps a writer grow.

You try writing in a empty box. It doesn't end well.

6467667 You can't be serious. Authors are people, not these creative heroes to be placed on pedestals for worship. They're not above or below anyone, and criticising them is not something that takes gall. Furthermore, have you ever looked at any creative processes? Or real literature? Do you even know what the publishing process is like? Criticism is absolutely a vital component to any creative endeavour, because that's how the creator gets better. Nobody is born a talented writer (or artist), creativity and talent don't just magically precipitate within individuals selected by fate, they are developed through work and refinement. If somebody doesn't know what's wrong with their writing, they're never going to correct it and they're never going to get better.

And what's more, the people who create things and then duck away from criticism have no business doing that because they're not seeking talent or improvement, they're seeking cheap attention, insincere emotional fulfillment, or financial gain. In some cases, maybe all three - I speak in broad strokes here. Shirking critique with claims like "that's mean" or "who are you to be critical" or other crap like that is the mark of a child and someone with no actual commitment to what they're doing. This author is not one of those people, but white-knights like you encourage and help perpetuate the ones who do think and act like that.

And for the record, doing this:

kid.(meant In a disrespectful and patronizing way.)

is the perfect way to make an insult toothless. In fact, it sounds more like a way to describe yourself when you put it like that.

Hey guys, please no fighting on my wall. x3 I appreciate criticism and critique, as that's how I grow as a writer. So I appreciate the fact that people are willing to spend the time to comment on my story, and read it, and appreciate the fact that people are willing to defend it as well. I understand that not everyone is going to like it, and that I have a lot of room to improve. But thank you all so much.

welp, time for me to jump into this story. So far, not bad at all.

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Thank you for the kind comment.

Your book has been advertised on the new facebook group page: https://www.facebook.com/groups/foebooks/ :)

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Oooh, cool, thanks!

finally back to reading this, and finished ch5, I got to say that the alicorn bit was an interesting little twist. Why the goddess would give two shits about the MC, I can only assume that it's because over the near two hundred years, she has had quite a few friends be taken by them, making her well known to the goddess.

Okay, fist off, that's one way to get nailed. Now that's over, I can't say I like Nevermore all that much, a but on the over-bitch side, but I'm not going to stop reading now, ch9 is next on the list.

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She can be a bit hard to like.

7044681 at least she is not as bad as Frosty K Winds, was as bad as Frosty, She would have killed the Zebra on sight and then asked for a hoof bump.

But still, as pirates go, She is far more likable then Thorn. And if Steel and I ever get back to the idea we had, Nevermore would have a fucking rage fueled explosion if she Knew what Thorn had done. BTW Thorn in my story's is another war hero, but of the Equestian Navy, and survived the end of the war. Sadly she was an evil pony.

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Well, I'd be hard pressed to classify Nevermore as anything 'good' either. Honestly, I'm a bit surprised people still read this, since it's been a while.

7046749 well I'm planning on reading "Fallout Equestria: Second Wind" after this. Did the same thing for Better days, reading the two story's (and Burnt Feathers) before getting to it. The more backstory, and context I have, the better a story feels. No you don't need to know the history of the Cross family, but it's a nice tip of the hat to any reader who has read Gama's work to see them appear in my story's. Same thing for the Dead-Mare that appers in Better days, I dodn't know what was up with that pony until after talking with Chrome.

So ya, I like Related fics.

up to ch15, and woot for the Burnt Feathers reference. Just wich that guy would update more then one chapter a year.

And done. It's not bad, and like the characters. But the story got relay hard to follow near the end, how it jumped from one character to the next was quite jarring, and the mellow-dramatics was not relay my thing. But overall it was a fun story, and I did enjoy myself. Good Job.

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Thank you for the comments, I do appreciate the feedback. I was working on trying to ease up on the transitions on other stuff I was writing, but... yeah. But thank you again. ^^

7114702 ya, from what I've read, transitions from one character to the next in a first person perspective story, can be real tricky. So-far the best I've seen it done is with Occupation Hazard, and it's sequel Empty Quivers. There the writers keep to a max of two characters for the FPP, gives two rounds which they tried off on, and each transition comes with some art.

I'm planning on doing something like that for my next story, though I might have them trade off chapters, or even story arks. but I think the idea with character transitions is "Less is more"

7229602 Thanks!

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You might be entirely right! The reason for Nevermore is- HEY LOOK A PARASPRITE! *runs away* That, and in my head canon, C.Ghouls are dead...ish. Not dead dead.

So I finished this story a while ago, after I had read all the current chapters of Second Wind, and I just want to say that I loved it, and that there is still so much to these two stories that I still don't know. I got a bit confused with the constant jumping back and forth between characters and memories, but eventually I got used to it. In general I just loved reading this story, it told me a lot about what the hell was even going on in Second Wind, and had lots of other fun stuff.

just finished reading
gotta say i like Nevermore, she's a great character (unique and i like the dark theme)

the ending is....i swear i've been trying to think of the word to describe this story the entire time i read it...Morbid? Dark?

well anyway, this story is great especially because, while so many fallout equestria novels say "the wasteland destroys heroes", you rarely feel that way with most stories cause they all have satisfying ending.
but this one actually keeps the theme of the wasteland as dark, depressing, and cruel. (even with the epilogue making it a...sorta happy ending)

yeah idk how to word my comment for this. i guess the summary is, loved the novel. really love the character Nevermore.
but i hate that its over. i know it had to end at some point, but Nevermore was just that character i want to read more and more about

defenitly one of my top 3 favorite characters in the fandom. thank you!

Oi Requiem, about what time does your story take place i comparison to Littlepip and her journey?

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I appreciate your comment, and I'm sorry for the super late response. I've been... kinda not around for a while.

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Her story takes place about 100 years before Littlepip I believe.

And again, sorry for the late/lack of responses. It still touches me that people read this, and that they at least somewhat enjoyed it.

Wow. One of my fav FoE and most fav from pre Pip story.

The last chapters when you know who gets dusted came out of no where so suddenly it punched me right in my heart.
Then the first end got me again...
The epilogue, in my feeling, should be cut and left as a tragic ending.
Nothing has to end happily in the wasteland.
Great work, spot in my favs. Well done.

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Aw, thank you! I appreciate it, and the fact the people are still reading and commenting on my work!

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We should all be so lucky.
Keep up the great work.
👍🏽

Oh...my...
I have just finished False Dawn, it was beautiful. Heh, I know, 'beautiful' shouldn't explain something as horrific and gory as that, but it does. I love the writing style, it was different from all the other FoE fics, which are quite narrow. Overall this fic was quite enjoyable.

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Thank you, appreciate the kind comment.

btw if you ever print this in physical. i want to get one =)

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Aw... I really appreciate that! I have no plans for that currently though!

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for the record. that poem is still my favorite. its just so dark and yet realistic. can easily imagine it from a soldier who's been in the trenches for months

A beautiful ending for a tragic story. Yeah, the former ending fits the tone better, but I'm a sucker for a good happy ending after a hard story.

This was really good. I know it's eight years on, and my critique is mostly pointless, but I'd like to say that Tik and Vusi kinda felt extraneous. They joined out of the blue and proceeded to not do much over the course of the story. Maybe they're in reference to something though, I don't know. That's my only complaint though. Otherwise, this fic encapsulates the feel of the Fallout Equestria world in a way few do! Thanks for having written this.

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You are completely correct, unfortunately, I introduced them... then proceeded to do nothing with them. If I was to rewrite, I would not include them in the story at all. But thank you, I always appreciate advice!

Hey Nevermore. It's me! Hiya :D

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Hi~