I would love to write stories, but i'm afraid they all suck.
Vita-Irae, or just Vita for short, is a long lost rogue Jedi. After eluding the Sith, and abandoning the Jedi Council, he finds himself slowly wandering unexplored areas of the galaxy.
Unfortunately for him, the Sith are not done with this 'All-powerful' Jedi.
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Star Wars/MLP crossover. Keep in mind, this takes place during 'Star Wars: Knights of The Old Republic'
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I really should read this.
The character for the Princesses is kind of hard to believe... they act more like Fluttershy than princesses. That's a little bit hard to believe.
Aside from that, though, there's just some minor spelling and grammar errors.
634984
I agree, the beginning was really quite awesome, but at about the point where he restrained two millenia old beings at the same time, is when it started getting a bit far fetched. And then when the princesses started acting, well, like Fluttershy is also something that had me raising my eyebrows. Having lived for as long as they have, they would have much more composure than what was shown. Think about it. They each move a celestial body. If you're going off the premise of magic is just the Force under a different name, then I think they would be more than a little capable of holding their own. Seeing as how the most any force user has ever really pulled with the force was when Darth Vader pulled a Star Destroyer out of flight, and even that pales in comparison to the Moon or Sun. If you're going off the idea magic is something completely different to the force, then I can see how this could possibly be plausible, as it's a power they have never encountered before. But even then they would have at least kept their composure, I could maybe understand Luna showing her nervousness, but Celestia has a poker face chiseled by thousands of years of practice. Just you know... food for thought, it's a really interesting fic.
635057 When did Darth Vader pull a Star Destroyer out of flight?
635096
My bad, it was actually Galen Marek who did it.
So according to this, an OC Jedi has appeared and in next chapter is about to board the rape train and dominate those sorry sons of bitches.
Seems legit
Sounds awesome
635057>>634984
Wall of text, but alright...
Thanks for the advise, i'll be sure to make it better next chapter.
If a jedi moved a death star with the force, would that stack up with what tia n luna does......
Celestia's reaction irks me seeing as she most definitely has a stone poker face but not big deal for me , its all good....
635057
Nah, I don't think Luna and Celestia acted that OOC.
Luna especially acts more like a teenager than a thousand year old being in the show and I don't think Celestia is that cold and calculated either.
I mean she is a more setteled character, but she appears to be more motherly than godlike.
And regarding there powers, they can't be that great if the unicorns managed to raise the sun and moon whithout them.
Come to think of it we haven't really see them in action anyway, the most powerfull thing we saw Celestia doing was that energy beam in the last episode.
636517
But that's the thing. It took the entire populace of unicorns in Equestria to move the Sun and Moon.
A good chunk of the Sith is after this guy...
Yeah. Equestria's in some deep shit now.
637916
How do yo know that?
It's not like they explained how they did it and for all we know it could be done by on or two ponies, like the king or queen, or some sort of council.
641463
I'm fairly certain at some point in Hearths Warming Eve they showed all of the unicorns having to focus at once to move the sun, could just be my imagination though.
Get to writing man. This is gold.
643178
But Freelance...! dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/sillyfilly_Twilight_Sparkle.png I like procrastinating. dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Twilight_Sparkle.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png
641544
Nope
Must have been your imagination. There was only one unicorn with a golden crown.
643191
Well I do too but, pleaasssseeee!
I like where this is going, and you definitely improved Celestia and Luna's characterization. I give my thumbs up, for whatever it's worth.
I also like where this is going, make sure to write more chapters!
A few grammatical errors here and there, and my eyebrow was slightly raised from Revan's characterization. But that is probably just me being overcritical. Overall a good chapter.
Good chapter, and I was also a little surprised about how Revan was acting, but it added some story line!
I say cool
ALL HAIL THE KING
Yes, very quaint. This chapter was meh, well actually it was more like
SWEET!
I didn't realise that Vita was Elvis...
But in all seriousness, this is one cool story. Love to see what happens next.
-Jorofrarie
Revan was the one who CREATED the damned Sith Academy, he specifically only destroyed planets that were corrupt and were leaching off of the Republic, He strove to create Balance in the Galaxy, he also never did anything without a damned good reason. also you've created a major Gary Stu
Hey guys, hope you enjoyed it. The ending was really depressing to write, but I got it done. Hope you enjoyed it.
Name the two songs I referenced to in this chapter, and I'll give you something special.
I think that I'll just go and jump off a bridge now...
But in all seriousness, great story. It was really fun, if not a little short. Good work and keep writing! I'll like to see what happens for you next!
-Jorofrarie
the ending was sad but great story
and i almost cryed
Damn awesome. Also touching.
Very touching man.
Btw Dat WoW refrence
Only 5 chapters? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
You know the difference between a tragedy and a comedy?
In a tragedy you only realize what you have once its too late...
By the way, I just noticed that this has both 'Sad' & 'Tragedy' tags, which are mutually exclusive and they ask authors not to label stories with both...though it doesn't seem like they enforce it?
Sad is just a good tear-jerker. You know little Timmy's dog gets hit by a car, or X pony comes down with an incurable disease.
Ex. The Unread Letter
Tragedy is when your (main) character's life is torn apart around them, usually because of their own failings or shortcomings - a true, classic Tragedy will always end with them worse off than when they began.
Ex. TAC: The Fall (Yes, this is a shameless plug...)
From what I have read here, this story could be labeled as either...personally, I would call it a tragedy, since the main character ends up fighting to the death and only after does his friend realize what he's lost.
beast mode on. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bI23230Xqe0
Sad story makes me sad
...STAAAAARRRR WAAAAARS!