Rainbow Dash works the night shift at Freddy's for five terrifying nights.

...Except she doesn't.

Now with added Pinkie Pie!

Cover image belongs to Gardelius.

It's official. Twilight Sparkle is dead.

Better luck next time, I guess.

This is your typical, stereotypical HIE story exposing all the HIE stereotypes, but like, compressed and crammed into one short chapter, making the pacing extremely awkward and fast. Yeah that's pretty much it.

*Disclaimer, I don't hate HIE stories, I actually love them. Don't sue me. Also, I'm so sorry for this.*

Big thanks to Flutterpriest for the narration! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z_Tb9JOfjQ!

This got featured on 9-26-2016... Why? I have no clue, but thanks!

Can Twilight Sparkle stop the new menace that's suddenly taking control of her beloved home?

Spoilers: No

Garble has won the Gauntlet of Fire and taken the Bloodstone Scepter. Upon hearing of this, Celestia, determined to stop the bloodthirsty Dragon Lord in his tracks, challenges him to a one-on-one duel for the fate of Equestria and the Dragonlands. An immortal alicorn capable of moving the sun with millennia of experience under her belt versus a teenaged dragon with no experience at all.

Garble accepts.

Stupider things have probably happened, but it's hard to say how.

Cover art is taken from this comic by Niban-Destikim.

The Unity Day party at Sweet Apple Acres goes awry after surprising accusations are leveled at Applejack, on account of some difficult-to-discern lyrics.

Find Iron Wolf's dramatic reading of this story, in a super cool Polish accent that kicks the whole thing up to 11, here.

Princess Celestia has something to tell Sunset Shimmer.

Something about her parents.

It's nothing strange at all.

Yep.

Rated Teen and Sex for a very brief mention of how babies are made.

Rainbow Dash turns thirty, and it's just like any week, month, year, or decade of her life.

The 19th Equestrian Alicorn Council is now in session! The Council is the current ruling body of Equestria, on which sits every alicorn in the country.

There's just one problem. The council is currently comprised of 84% of Equestria's population.

Princess Sugarcoat, the official speaker of the council, investigates just exactly how this state of affairs began.

Turns out, it's all Cadance's fault.

Trigger warnings: Alicorns making fun of Twilight Sparkle and Cadance.

Rated Teen and Sex for a giant pile of sex-related idiocy.

Rainbow Dash finally decides to tell her friends that she is gay.

This news comes as a surprise to absolutely no one.

Rated Teen and Sex for discussions of homosexuality. A lot of homosexuality.

Written for F*** THIS PROMPT #12: "Rainbow Dash is a Lesbian."