One does not simply blaspheme the princess's tits.

Consequences may include, but are not limited to, snuggling, court-martial, and third-degree burns. And not necessarily in that order.

Entry for the Comedy (Is Serious Business) contest.

The selected prompt was "We learned something hot."

In an attempt to promote the 500 HP 2020 Mustang, Ford puts 500 Super Bowl tickets in a shipment of Matchbox Mustangs and sends them to Canterlot.

Unicorns don't really understand American Football, but they do understand supporting a team . . . perhaps a little too well. Especially after a few beers.

Every three years, Ponyville holds a festival celebrating beer and wine, which means this particular townwide party is going to be Spike and Twilight's first. As such, the mayor would truly appreciate it if they took an active claw and hoof in the proceedings.

Because when you're having an alcohol festival in a town populated by magically-capable individuals with dubious judgment skills, there's no possible way anything could go wrong.

...well, more wrong than usual. Or perhaps even wrong by design...

(Part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group: new members and trope edits are welcome.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Cover art by Harwick.

Twilight Sparkle gathers her friends after receiving a rather distressing letter from her mentor, Princess Celestia. She's not happy about the contents, at all.

It seems her friends all went on some magical adventure without her. And now they're all in a lot of trouble.

Sex tag and Teen rating for some crude humor.

The Equestrian Inquisition have taken Twilight Sparkle for questioning. Usually, they would be deliberating over how they might conquer the strong princess's mind and force her to confess, but this time they have an ace up their robes.

They happen to be aware of her rather strong affinity for chairs.

Inspired by a certain scene in Triple Threat, as well as the Monty Python sketch of the same name.

Dismayed by worse than expected results in the skies over Vietnam, the US military began to study the problem.

The Department of the Navy decided that the issue was inadequate training for close-in fighting. A cadre of experienced F-8 Crusader pilots led the charge to reform air combat maneuvering.

Their mascot helped, too.

Rainbow Dash has rather a poor reputation when it comes to her workload. Everypony always thinks of her as the pony who takes three naps during daylight hours, and four on weekends, and always seems to be looking for something to do to pass the time. All of this is true, of course. But ponies seem to think this means that she must not ever get very much work done.

Can the weather captain for all of Ponyville really be as lazy as she seems? Is that the only explanation for Rainbow Dash's free time and constant napping?

The weather is a full-time job. Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. And the worst weather happens at night.

So weather ponies have strange sleeping habits.

Set before the events of the show.

Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi on DeviantArt.
Audiobook reading by My name is R on Youtube.

This story is a sequel to Just Girls Talking Dirty

As an adorable little baby with powerful magic, Flurry Heart was a lovable, if chaotic, ray of sunshine.

As a teenage princess who seems to be vying for the title "Princess of Lust", she's a constant source of exasperation for her parents. Her latest stunt--accidentally turning herself into an "anthromorph", as Princess Twilight calls it, and getting stuck that way--is just another misadventure in a long string of teen hijinks.

Now, Flurry has somehow managed to accidentally teleport herself to another dimension. With a whole new world to explore and an "auntie" she rarely ever sees to aggravate, plus new friends to make (and aggravate), Flurry decides to stick around for a while and turn Canterlot High upside down.

A continuation of this chapter of Just Girls Talking Dirty, toned down (slightly) to a strong Teen rating for innuendo, insinuation, naughty behavior, and a princess who doesn't especially care where and when she's naked.

Warning: Extremely horny and mischievous teenage Flurry Heart incoming!

(Base image used for the cover created by Dashie116, used with permission.)

During the course of a sleepover at Ponyville Castle, it is revealed that neither Twilight nor any of her friends have ever kissed a stallion. Things quickly get competitive, and soon Spike, the only male within striking distance, is forced to run for his life.

EDIT: WOW! Already featured only a few hours after publishing 6/20/17! Thank you all!

At the heart of the enemy's stronghold! Surrounded by the enemy host! Outnumbered by hundreds to one!
Negotiatons breakdown! Diplomacy fails!
War!
War is declared!

Come at me, breezie.