The graffiti did not bother her. The art of vandalism was, in some form or another, as old as civilization itself. The content, on the other hoof, was an entirely different issue. “Princest Is Wincest,” it said. Bad grammar and spelling were one thing, but this was an attack on the Equestrian language.

Luna frowned. She would have to ask Celestia about this at the first opportunity. Perhaps there were spare funds for a literacy program. If nothing else, Tia might be able to explain what exactly the phrase meant.

Thanks to Wade and Sereg for prereading. Thanks to Burraku_Pansa and especially Midnight Rambler for editing.

Dramatic reading, courtesy of CaptainBron3y.

It was a surprise that Dash offered a kiss as a prize at the charity auction. It was a surprise that the colts were as "enthusiastic" as they were. It was a surprise that Dash didn't leap on the colts and beat them for their comments.

But, the biggest surprise of all was which one of her friends bid on her kiss... and why.

Since her return and rescue, Princess Luna has been looking for some way to properly honor the six mares who saved her from herself, but nothing she has been able to think of has seemed meaningful enough to repay her saviors.

Nothing, at least, until she spends Nightmare Night in Ponyville, and gets to actually know the six ponies to whom she owes such a great debt. She realizes she enjoys their company, and wishes for them to spend more time with her, that she might grow closer to them.

So, in accordance with many fine and ancient traditions, and after thinking it over for a good...couple of hours, easy, she proclaims that she shall marry all six of them. Oh, and that Twilight will be marrying Celestia, too.

Now would be the appropriate time for everypony to panic.

--Cover Art Courtesy of Zemious--
--Editing Graciously Provided By BronyWriter--

NB - The sex tag is in place for sexual situations and suggestions; the story is, and shall remain, free of explicit sex.

Applejack has brushed her mane, put a ribbon on her hat, and there's a sway in her step. Most ponies just want to know who the special pony is.

Rainbow Dash doesn't buy it. Love is mushy, and AJ isn't mushy. Love means liking somepony more than her friends, and AJ would never like another pony more than Dash. Love means missing a game of horseshoes to go tell a pony that she's in love with them, and if there is one thing Dash is sure of, it's that AJ is not going to miss that game... no matter what Applejack thinks about it.

Like a stallion terrified of having children, they pulled me out of retirement. I was the best Special Agent they had, which was saying a lot, because I'm about as effective at my job as a mime having a stroke, and only half as hilarious. But I've been called upon to serve my nation again, and like the gift of surprise fellatio, I am bound to serve my nation well, and hopefully without any of the implied sexual humiliation. So I gotta buckle up and prepare for survivor's guilt, just like the time I had to go up against those racially-biased SAT questions involving graphic violence, adult language, and some sexual content.
When you're in a noir situation like mine, you could only think in metaphors and similes.

Celestia wakes up in human form and at an insane asylum where similarities between the world she is in now and the world of Equestria cause her to wonder if Equestria even exists or if she simply made it up to escape her human life. Does she try to hold on to her memories of her Canterlot life or does she let them go and accept them as nothing more than stories? Who is she going to trust? Who is she anyway?

This is only the beginning...

TV Tropes Page

Cover Art by blahblahaha123 (with some altering by me.)

Reading by Phantom Brony

Editors:

Csquared08, DarkPheonix, Gweat and Powaful Twixie, HenryAnthonyCourtler, Kaidan, KartalTheWriter,ZeroOmega

My unicorn parents called me a worthless mud pony. They pushed me every day to overcome my lowly status. When I woke up one morning with my cutie mark, I thought they would love me. I couldn’t have been farther from the truth.

It was not destiny or enjoyment that led me to discover the cello and composing. My parents made that decision, deciding before I was born I would continue their family legacy of famous musicians.

They did not realize what that decision would cost them.

Special Thanks and Links:

Cover Art: Dreampaw. The inspiration for the story.
Dramatic reading of Act I-III by Malao567. June 2013
Reading with music by ObabScribbler. June 2014
Song: Hooks and Strings by Reverb Brony. May 2014

Style inspired by H.P. Lovecraft
TypeWriterError: Editor & Rating Board
Gage of Grandiloquence: Editor
The11thWonder: Pre-reader
Nharctic: Pre-reader
Breath of Plagues: My Pinch Editor.
ArgonMatrix: Bad Grammar Exterminator
Daemon of Decay: Advice, also inspired me to write fan fiction. Blame him!

Dearest Shining Armor,

By the time you read this, I’ll be long gone.

Originally a one-shot written during a very trying time, but many people asked for a continuation. You can read the first chapter by itself if you wish, and that may even be advisable, but I still hope that you'll enjoy the rest.

Featured on the front page at release, for the full four days possible under the site's heat system!

Celestia leaves to deal with a foreign crisis, giving her sister a chance to rule alone and become more attached to the modern world. She calls on Twilight Sparkle to advise Luna, hoping her student will be able to draw Luna out of her shell. With two major threats to Equestria already defeated in the past year, it seems like the perfect time to let Luna gain some confidence and experience in the modern world. After all, what are the chances of a third disaster occurring?

Now comes with complimentary tropes.

Celestia has a secret: She hates her job. It's not like she can quit, though. After all, what would her little ponies do without her? But then Luna returns from the moon and provides a whole new perspective on modern Equestria, and Celestia starts to reconsider everything. Does Equestria really even need her anymore? Only one way to find out!

[Note: This story takes place after The Best Night Ever. Seasons 2 and 3 are not considered canon unless otherwise noted.]