Alone with the Voice in Her Head
Envious, dark clouds had separated the sky from those who lived beneath it for at least another two weeks, darkening her room when the lights were off during the day. The city outside her window still continued. She tossed her head to get a strand of ever-lengthening hair out of her eye. It had grown at least three inches since she had been here. Perhaps four. Of course, she still had no clue what color her eyes were.
The lights of the bathroom reflected from the enamel faucet handles to sparkle in her eyes. Each hand rubbed the other furiously, sliding the soap off before she continued her task.
Half of the letter on her shower wall was gone by now. She had written it in liquid soap for some reason. She still didn’t remember doing it, but the message was still there. If they found out, her soap would have to be controlled again. They had finally trusted her enough to give it back in small rations and here she was using it to write notes to herself!
“Good morning...” Dr. Cruebel said cheerfully before his voice trailed off. “Celeste, why are you crying?”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry...” she whimpered as he stepped into the bathroom.
“Dear Princess Celestia... Oh no...” he groaned. She looked up at the letter, supposedly from Twilight. It was shorter this time.
“Dr. Cruebel, I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t worry—“
“I don’t even remember—“
“Of course, you didn’t. This was just a relapse. How did you sleep last night?”
“Every night I go to sleep it’s a nightmare,” she said with a sniff, wiping her eye with the unsoapy back of her hand.
“Would you rather we go back to the sleep medication we gave you earlier this week?”
“No. I don’t like being drugged just so I can sleep.”
“I understand.” He withdrew a piece of cloth from his lab coat and wet it under the faucet after the woman moved her hands out of the way. “Who was this note supposed to be from?”
“Twilight. The student.”
“I see,” he said, wiping the cloth across Dear Princess Celestia to remove it, “and this was all she wrote?”
“Yes,” she said, glancing at the words as he paused to shake his head at them.
“I’ll be there soon. Sounds almost like a threat to me.” He turned his face back towards her and she looked towards her bare feet. “Celeste, don’t let this scare you. This will stop eventually,” he assured her. Her feet traced the tiles as she chewed her lip. “Something else is bothering you? You said something about nightmares?”
“They’re different categories. Sometimes I run through the woods, trying to find someone before it’s too late. Other times, it’s an attack on Equestria. I had a dream where I watched you morph into Discord while we were talking...”
“I have a feeling there is something else?” he asked, gently after she paused for a long time. He stood next to her and she could feel his kind eyes looking to meet hers.
“Sometimes. I fall asleep and all I see is black. It’s cold. There’s a screaming wind and I feel a shard going through my chest. A shard of ice and crystal. It’s part... thought from Equestria. Memory, maybe.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Are you sure?” she asked, keeping her eyes on the tiles beneath her.
“I think it will help you this time.”
“It’s... it’s from King Sombra. The day Luna and I overthrew him. He struck me and I felt it go through me without physically penetrating me. Every time I feel him close it flares up again...” His eyes felt like a small push on her, gently prodding the story from her grasp. “This nightmare though... when he came close it didn’t hurt as much. I wanted him close to me.”
“Did he touch you?”
“We almost did. I almost took his hand when he offered it to me. He promised to make the lies go away. He promised to take me to Equestria. He told me he would never fight me again if I helped free him from Discord. I could feel the warmth of his hand. That was how close I was to taking it.”
“What stopped you?”
“He called me his Queen.”
“Why did that stop you?”
“To be a queen I’d have to lose...” She rubbed her scrunched forehead, keeping her eyes closed tightly. “Why are you making me tell you this?”
“I’m sorry. I was just concerned about what was making you so upset.” He ran the water in the sink. “Here,” he said, handing the woman the piece of cloth. “Why don’t you wipe off the rest of the message. Imagine yourself wiping away the nightmares while you do it.”
She wrapped her thin fingers around the wet cloth and pulled it from his hand. Her eyes scanned the message one last time as she wiped it off in one clean swipe. It felt like an accomplishment of sorts. She ran the cloth under the water and used it to help her wipe the soap from her hands. The faucet choked closed as the handle turned the water off and she began to squeeze the water from the cloth onto the enamel sink.
Dr. Cruebel caught her before her legs gave out completely in her daze. She saw in her mind dark hair; beautiful dark hair clinging to a pale set of lips under an open pair of blue eyes. Water dripped onto a tile floor.
The patient’s hands gripped her shoulders almost painfully as she curled up into herself, shaken from some memory. Dr. Cruebel knelt with her. Her mind kept on that face. She had to hold onto that dead face. It was important somehow. She knew the face she saw wasn’t always dead.
“I knew her. ”
“You remember something?” he asked, letting her back rest against the counter. Her mind remained on the memory. The more she tried to hold it, the easier it slipped from her.
“I almost did.” He felt her forehead when she shivered.
“You’re feverish. Can you stand?”
“I’m cold.”
“Can you try to stand up?” She shook her head. His arms cradled her as she was lifted up and carried to her bed. He deposited her there and wrapped the blanket around her shaking shoulders.
“What’s happening?”
“I think a memory came back. Your brain is trying to reconcile the memory and it’s confused. Just hold that blanket over yourself. I’ll get you some Tylenol.” He flew from the room or perhaps it just seemed that way. Almost as soon as he left, a darkness bent over her.
“You didn’t answer me.” His voice was distant despite being whispered close to her ear. She closed her eyes tightly and shrugged his face away.
“Leave me alone. I’m sick.”
“Ha! Sick? You’re only sick because you want to be. Look at me, Celestia. It’s his fault you’re suffering here and it’s his fault that you’re lying to yourself.”
“Just leave me alone.”
“What about my offer?”
“Shut up! I’m trying to remember something!”
“I could help you.” His fingers almost graced her cheek. She quickly smacked his hand away.
“I’ll get out of here myself. Patient or princess, I don’t know yet. Either way, I don’t—“
“You need my help more than you realize!” he hissed close to her face. She shivered again. “Or do you want everything under your control—”
“Even if you were able to, I doubt you would be so generous as to help me.”
“You don’t—“
A strike of lightning cut him off. She could feel his body tense as he raised himself off of her. She opened her eyes to see him look towards the window. Thunder shook her moments after the lightning.
That’s a fast storm she mused, raising herself up. Sombra was gone and she was no longer chilled from his presence. Had he run away? Or never been there?
She felt inside her pillowcase for the baseball and rolled it from hand to hand as her feet touched the floor. She kept the steady motion up while advancing towards the window, her eyes fixed on the swirling clouds. Her door opened.
“Celeste, there is going to be a tornado. Come with me.”
“Isn’t this safety glass?” she asked, pointing at the window.
“Just a precaution. All the patients along the outside walls are moved to inward rooms. You’ll be back once this blows over. It should only be a few minutes.”
Noise filled the hall behind him as he held out his hand towards her. A blur of white ran across the door. Other patients...
She held the ball tightly and took his hand. He turned right outside of the room, closing and locking the door before leading her swiftly down the corridor in the line of rushing patients and staff. After the door, the group snaked left along the wall into another corridor, almost identical to the previous one.
Patients were filed neatly into their new rooms, few protesting and some unaware of their surroundings. Some gave her looks that left her feeling disgusted before Dr. Cruebel opened a door and led her inside. Her temporary room was half the size of the other one. There was only enough room to stand in between the head of her bed and the wall. The bed was the only thing within. An open door led to a bathroom. She was glad she had her baseball.
“I’ll see you in a moment,” he said casually, closing the door behind him in his exit.
“I almost wonder if you believe him...”
“Shut up,” she groaned, “Just get out of my mind...”
“I’m always here, Celestia. You wouldn’t send me away now would you?” Sombra asked, reclining on her bed as she turned and leaned against the wall.
“You’re only here because my mind is playing games with me right now.”
“Really? What’s your name then? Celeste Marlowe?” he laughed to himself, his face pointed towards the ceiling. “Of all the names he could have given you, he had to call you something so silly—”
“Will you stop it?”
“Well if you bothered to answer my question—“
“I’ve answered it multiple times already. The answer is no. I’m not going to trust you and help you get out. I honestly don’t even believe you’re here.”
His laugh darkened the room.
“Come here, Celestia.”
“No.”
“You don’t like my company anymore?”
“Just leave.”
“I can’t. He’s locked me in here.”
“Except you’re not real.”
“And you can’t get rid of me?”
She hurled the baseball at his face and it hit him straight on the nose. He wisped away again. A frustrated sigh hissed from her lips.
She couldn’t react before he grabbed her arms from behind.
“That almost hit my face!”
“You’re ugly enough, a broken nose wouldn’t have done much to change your—AH!“ she cried out as he twisted her right shoulder forward while holding her left arm still. A sharp stab entered behind her right shoulder blade and stayed there as he held her.
“Oh dear, did I hurt you?” His tone fell into a sharp hiss. “Or did you forget that I’m not some prince, but a king?”
“Whatever you call yourself, you’re not a leader!” She gasped sharply as he pushed her left shoulder forward and pulled her right one back. She had felt this pain once when Nightmare Moon had tried to rip her wings off. A blast of magic had shot her off. She had no magic now and everything told her that Sombra should not be able to do this to her. Yet the pain was real.
“And what make you the authority on leadership?”
“Let go.”
But when he did, it wasn’t voluntarily. Both of them were shaken off-balance and fell against the concrete floor. Something had hit the hospital. The light in the ceiling went out. In the dark a slap resounded as Sombra “accidentally” put his hand on the woman’s arm. Some scuffling preceded a growling cry of pain as the woman’s hand found a spherical object to bring down on the figure she sensed close to her. It hit somewhere that gave like a mattress.
“Stop hitting me! I’m moving.”
“Good. Now stay over there.” Silence made her somewhat uneasy. “And keep talking or making noise!”
“I could sing.”
“No, you can’t, Sombra. I’ve heard you.”
“Your sister liked my singing.”
“Leave Luna out of this! She wasn’t entirely herself when she knew you...”
“Ah, yes. Your little plan worked surprisingly well.”
“Shut up.”
“You enjoyed it, didn’t you? Your 1,000 years as Queen?”
“Of course I didn’t.”
“You could have stopped it at any time.”
“You know I couldn’t have.”
“Were your advisors really so powerful?”
“That’s enough.”
“I thought you liked to hear me talk.”
“Well, forget what I said. I’d rather not have to listen to you.”
His laugh tightened her grip on the ball.
“Oh, and I suppose you’ll say next how all the damage done to her is my fault?”
Rising on her knees, she heaved the ball in his direction. Her cheeks burned as the ball bounced off the wall.
“Shut up! Shut up! You did more damage to her than I could ever do!” Her hands gripped the knees of her pants and she shook. “Say something,” she begged him, knowing he was gone. She was screaming at empty corners again. When the lights flickered on again she didn’t need to look up to see that Sombra wasn’t there.
He had hurt Luna. He was the start of jealousy; the first mistake that Celestia built on. Luna’s first rejection. Neither knew then what he would be. Even if Celestia had known, danger was exciting back then. She didn’t realize betrayal was eternal.
The foreign noble he had been: mysterious, daring, thrilling. As a noble he was eligible for a contract in the form of marriage. Why had he not chosen Luna? The one who enjoyed his company? The one who took him through moonlight and showed him the stars? Why not her?
Power. That was all. It wasn’t because he couldn’t stand the night, as he had claimed. He wanted the sun to do his bidding.
“I hate you.” She spoke alone in the echoing room. She had given him exactly what he wanted. In exchange, he took everything. It was her fault. She wanted to be a good Queen, right? She thought he would make her just that: a good queen.
“Is little Celestia crying?” Sombra taunted in her ear.
“Leave me alone, Sombra. I don’t want to be Queen.”
“It is easier than you think. Just help me and I’ll—“
“Shut your twisted mouth, Sombra!”
The struggle was pathetic. In this world, brute strength overcame elegance at a moment’s notice. He pinned her in his arms against his chest, no amount of struggling freed her. She squirmed completely and kicked with her legs while her arms remained locked under his.
“Get off!” she screamed as the door flew open. She looked up at Dr. Cruebel, her arms behind her back, held by no one. He looked at her, pityingly.
“Celeste. When you’re bored play with your baseball. Don’t imagine yourself fighting someone. I’m afraid you’ll hurt yourself one of these days.”
She hugged herself, looking at the floor in shame. He retrieved the baseball then held it out to her. She took the worn plaything from him and gripped it tightly in her hand as she followed him back to her room.
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yay! New chapter.
This chapter is
sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/47718_10200247313412475_862867496_n.jpg
(you're featured! I saw it!
)
2318931 Celtic? nah that'd be a boy's name... how about... Tia? my best friend's name is Tia so it'd be a real name... i'm just helping out with a possible artist...
also, GREAT read... i don't think i've ever liked a humanized fic before... they're always so... choppy... but i need to get back to workin on my lil fic... been awhile snice i posted a chapter and i really don't wanna lose watchers... but again this fic has truly caught my eye... LIKE AND FAV AHOY!
and a row of stachies
Featured again, as you should be. A great work, and... my my my, Celeste's giving in. How will this progress, I wonder?
Regardless, I took your advice, and now the story's focus is Twilight, Celestia, Luna, and Shining. I've actually put it all into one little rant to myself here and linked back to you, because I am a writer of my word...
Will likely do the same if I can get a chapter published. Back to your story, however; I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for more, and... jeesh, things are progressing in a way I didn't expect...
Not necessarily a bad thing though.
2321297 STACHES! I love staches!
Ah, crap. Hang on. Forgot the link here.
2321299 ok! Thanks!
2321303 Liking what you got there. I really want to read it now! lol
And officially dumbstruck.
Wow...just...wow.
I'm very very impressed Madame, this is deserving of its feature. The characters are great, the development is solid, the setting is amazing, and overall the story resonates on a very eerie core, which I enjoy. It's unlike anything I've ever read, and I want to read so much more. Keep it up!
2321424 I'm glad you're enjoying it :)
When is the roller coaster of psychological bullshit going to be over for poor Celestia?
I'm really liking the story, don't get me wrong, I just can't stand to see someone as graceful, regal and majestic as Celestia in such a varying predicament. And now, of all the characters that could have entered the fray, SOMBRA had to pop his ugly mug into the viewfinder? Wherever will we go from here?
I'm liking your version of Sombra in this, he actually has a shred of a personality and a bit of a mysterious relationship to Celestia and Luna prior to all this shit (meant in the best possible way, of course) happened. Hope to see the next chapter soon. But I must ask this: Since you're re-writing the story (from what I can tell to bring it up to cannon and to further fudge our minds) is anything that we read prior relevant? That's something that you may want to clear up. Just so things aren't TOO confusing. Being too confusing will just piss people off.
Still happy and still happily reading!
I would love to see Curebel have her interact with another patient, just to see the social aspect of her condition. 
2326982 Basically anything important from the original story will be changed over to this version. What I try to do is go through each chapter and write as many of the basic events as will keep the story somewhat on track. But at this point the original can be considered unimportant.
Glad you're liking Sombra!
2328202 So your saying we DO have to re-read this shit?
2339244 if you just want to read the original epilogue and forget about this version, the original story is here.
Okay. I just checked out that you put your original story (the one I remember) on google docs. This is a much different story. While there are parts of it which I like more than the original, there are a few things that I'm not so fond of. However, I believe those feelings arise from dwelling on the old story too much. It's important to remember that this version is almost like a whole new story, not just an edited version of the old one. With that in mind, it's a great story so far and I'm really sucked into it!
...she totally killed Luna in this version of reality, didn't she? It's the logical human-world equivalent of the 1000-year banishment
Another correction:
> the authority on leadership?.
There's a period behind the question mark.
Oh Sombra can't sing huh? Tell that to SkyBoltsMusic on Youtube.