She didn’t really know what to expect out of death. When she made her decision to leave, she knew what to expect out of the act of dying itself: piercing cold that chilled her to the bone and completely alone until her heart just stopped beating. She wasn’t disappointed there at all. After that was a mystery.
She’d heard all the theories from those who wished to know the answer, and a few sermons from those who pretended to know the answer. She thought that death was simply ceasing to exist, though not many shared the sentiment. The most popular was that some hidden realm called Elysium existed in opposition to Tartarus, an asylum for the saintly virtuous instead of a prison for the irredeemably wicked. For all she knew, they were right; everyone knew Tartarus was a real place, after all, though nobody knew if the evil dead roamed that wretched place along with its living inmates. Nobody dared to check.
It hardly mattered. If there was an Elysium, she knew she’d never earn the right to call it home.
And yet… she remembered finally collapsing in the snow. She remembered getting buried as the wind howled and shrieked in her ears. She remembered closing her eyes for the last time. She remembered the feeling of death’s grip strangling her heart until it went still.
And the next thing she heard was the crackle of fire and its heat on her chilled, frigid skin. Tartarus; had to be. Simply ceasing to exist would’ve been a kindness.
She groggily opened her eyes to greet her new eternal jail. What her eyes were met with was not what she expected an otherworldly prison for history’s greatest murderers and tyrants. A thick blanket against her skin, a cushion beneath her, marble floors mostly covered with an Arabian carpet, a roaring hearth before her with a portrait of herself and Shining on the mantle…
Her eyes snapped open with a gasp. She was home. She was back in the palace. She was in her den, safe and sound. Chilled to the core on every inch of her body, but she was still very much alive.
“Took you long enough,” said the last voice she wanted to hear. Her eyes snapped over to see Shining Armor, eyes drooping and bloodshot, looking at her lifelessly from his perch atop their lounging couch by the sofa, just to the side of the fire.
Tartarus would’ve been a far, far greater kindness.
“N-no,” was the first slurred word out of her frozen lips. “No, this wasn’t how it was supposed to happen!” She shifted her legs to try to scramble away, try to run, but instead she fell onto the floor with a yelp and the clank of chains. After her vision cleared from the sudden blow to her head, she looked down to see two pairs of shackles keeping her legs too close together to walk, covered in magic runes to keep her from using her magic.
“Did you really think I’d let you in the palace unrestricted?” he asked coldly, practically leering down at her. “I’m not letting you go until you tell me where Cadence is.”
“Wh-what?” she sputtered, shivering from the loss of her blanket. “Shining, I a-am Cadence! I’m the Cadence you know a-anyway. I t-told you that I don’t know where the real one-“ She shook her head. “Why are we even talk-king about this? Why didn’t you just leave me to die?!”
“You said it yourself,” he muttered. “Who would ever expect the damsel in distress?”
She felt like her heart was going to stop all over again. “No… Shining, please.”
“I have no way of knowing whether that letter was real, or you’re just a convincing fake to distract me while the real Cadence is being dragged to who knows where,” he spat. “The guards are tearing the city apart right now, and I already sent a letter to Celestia to set up a border patrol if she’s being taken south.” He slid off his perch and trotted over to her with a threateningly calm, steady gait. “If this is another changeling trick, you’d better come clean, or you’ll spend the rest of your wretched life in the dungeon, do I make myself clear?”
She shut her eyes and covered her head with her forelegs, unable to take the look of sheer hate he was sending her way. “Please, Shining, I was t-telling the truth!”
His hoofsteps stopped. He was right over her, powerful, in control, angry. “Prove it.”
“I can’t!” she practically wailed, cold tears sliding down her face. “Why do you think I just want-ted to wander off and die? Finally telling the truth to our partners never works out f-for us; for all you know, w-we’re still just lying!” She dissolved into pained sobs, a dull ache in her chest as she labored for breath. “P-please, if you’re going to hang me, just do it; I can’t stand you hating me like this…”
“How can I trust you?” he muttered, the sharpened, hateful edge to his voice gone. “If you’re lying, I shouldn’t. If you’re telling the truth, I shouldn’t.”
“I know,” she muttered, curling up and screwing her eyes tighter still. “You never should have; I never deserved it. I’ve been lying to you and Twilight and your parents and Spike for years, and…” She took a few deep, ragged breaths. “Please, just let me die, please. It’s hard enough talking to you; I couldn’t stand seeing Twilight’s h-heart break like this.”
She heard the soft hum of his magic, followed by the harsh scrape of a sword sliding out of its sheath. “Are you sure you want that?” he asked, voice lifeless.
“Just m-make it quick,” she sobbed, tensing up and removing her forelegs from her head, bearing her neck. “I’m so, so sorry, Shining… for everything. I love you, and I’m sorry it ended like this.”
There were a few moments of silence betwixt them, only the fire daring to say a word.
There was the rush of steel through air.
She closed her eyes tighter and braced for death.
The blade stopped right against her neck, not even cutting into it.
She panted heavily for a few seconds before opening up her eyes. Shining was standing over her, tears in his eyes and running down his face. He shook his head with a barely repressed scream and tossed the sword to the side with a clatter.
“I thought that if I got this far, that if you’d actually let me get that close to killing you, I’d know you were really Cadence because a spy would want to live and do their job,” he admitted, scrambling backwards, “but… but now I’m just more confused than ever! Maybe you were just sent here to die and mess with my head, or just make me go absolutely nuts from trying to figure out what to do. If that’s it, then it’s working!”
He sat down and cradled his head in his hooves, screwing his eyes shut and sobbing through gritted teeth. “I don’t know what to do! And no matter what I choose, for all I know I’m getting Cadence killed or making her life miserable! I’m a soldier who’s completely cracking under pressure and can’t even protect my own wife, so what good even am I?!”
She couldn’t get up. She couldn’t walk. She couldn’t use magic. She certainly couldn’t fly. But she could crawl. So crawl she did. As much as her deathly cold limbs would allow, she inched herself towards Shining with the light shuffle of her chains.
“Shining, please, please don’t cry,” she muttered as she edged forward with strained grunts. “You’re better than that; I know you’re better than that. And I don’t blame you for being confused. I don’t blame you if you hate me.” She reached his feet and with a strain of effort pulled her head onto his lap. He gasped and paused, looking down at her as tears fell down onto her frostbitten face. “I… I just wanted you to be happy, and thought that in the long run you’d be happier without a fake like me.”
He brought a foreleg down, and she felt him run a hoof through her hair. “Cadence, I… I mean, if it’s really you, I’m… I’m sorry that I almost… that I even threatened-”
She disarmed him with a weak giggle. “Apology accepted, though you don’t seem to get that I don’t blame you for any of this, do you? You’ve always been such an apologetic goofball at heart.” She smiled when she saw a small one creep onto his face, but hers quickly faded. “But no, the whole point is that I’m not the real Cadence. I never was. I don’t… I don’t think I deserve that name, if she’s still…” She took a deep breath. “If she’s even still alive.”
The two shared a few more moments of silence, Shining idly running his hoof through her mane. “Still, if you’re telling the truth,” he finally said, “you’re still my wife… don’t I deserve to know your real name, at least? Maybe see your real face?”
Her gaze hardened, though she glared at nothing in particular, avoiding eye contact. “I’m not proud about my name, or my face, or anything about who I ‘really’ am,” she muttered. “I hate being a changeling.” She took a deep, bracing breath. In a small flash of green fire, her disguise was gone, leaving the insect underneath. “But if you really have to know… Mother named me Crypsis.”
Shining let out a small gasp. “You… you look like…”
“A lot like Mother, I know,” she mumbled with a scowl. “I keep my mane pink like this to set myself apart from my other high-born sisters and Mother, but… other than that, yeah, this is what I really look like.”
He stopped running his hoof through her mane, but only for an instant. “Well, for what it’s worth, I think you’re prettier than the evil old hag… no offense to your mother, I guess,” he chuckled nervously.
“Mother doesn’t get offended, she gets even,” she snorted. “And you’re just saying that. I’m a lot younger and look younger, yeah, but I can’t be ‘pretty;’ that’s just not something changelings are.”
“I don’t think so,” he said with a shadow of a smile. “You’ve still got cute little dimples, a kissable muzzle, pretty eyes, and a nice… ‘physique,’ shall we say?” he added with an adorable attempt at a suave smirk.
She giggled in spite of herself. “Now you’re really laying it on thick, but… thanks.”
The two exchanged much needed, genuine smiles, if only for a few seconds. Shining’s died when he said, “I really want to believe you, Cade-… Crypsis, I really do, but I still can’t take any chances.”
Her smile died as well. “I know.”
He sighed, shaking his head and nuzzling against her. “I’ll unlock your restraints, but until we get this sorted out you’ll have a guarded escort to keep an eye on you, okay?”
A twinge of fear made her heart skip a beat. “How many ponies did you tell about this, exactly?”
“I told the rank and file guards that you were kidnapped and that there were probably changeling fakes running around to distract us, but they should be brought in anyway,” he explained. “Only Black Ice, Night Veil, and White Winter know the full story, and that’s because it’d be a little impossible to coordinate a search if the captain of the guard didn’t know what we were really looking for, and Night Veil and White Winter found out because they read the letter as I was having a total mental breakdown after I first read it. It’s kind of hard to hide things from our personal guards. Once my letter arrives, Celestia, Luna, and Twiley will also know.”
Her ears flattened. “If you told anyone, I’m already not safe. Some of my better trained siblings are probably already in our ranks to keep an eye on me, but I have no idea who, and I know there are changelings still in Canterlot. Mother and I have argued a lot lately, and she probably expected me to try something sooner or later. I don’t think she’d kill me even though I’ve committed high treason, but she’s not above abduction. If – when – she gets wind of this, I’ll probably actually get kidnapped, and once I’m caught she’ll never let me leave the hive unless I somehow see things her way, and I’ll never be able to look for Cadence. I… look, it’s a long story, but as bad and suspicious as this sounds, I need to stay with you tonight; you’re the only one I can trust,” she pleaded.
Shining’s ears flattened as well and he opened his mouth to respond, but she didn’t let him get in a word in.
“Look, I know that sounds really bad,” she added hastily, “but if Mother still wanted you dead, we wouldn’t be talking.”
His ears and eyebrows shot up. “What do you mean still?”
She bit her lip and suppressed a sigh. “I said it’s a long story. Short version is that I got a tip from a sister I really trust that Mother thinks that I’m dangerously attached to you; up to this point, she thought it was a phase and that in the end I’d get over it like ponies get over lost dogs.” She let out a soft, disgusted hiss. “That means that I was going to get reassigned, forcibly, and you’d probably get replaced just like Cadence was, while one of my sisters or Mother herself took my place as Cadence. I don’t know if Cadence is still alive since she’s an alicorn with mastery of love magic; she’d be an important trump card to have. You?" She scoffed bitterly. "To Mother, you’re replaceable and a threat to my wellbeing, so there isn’t a doubt in my mind that she’d kill you.” She let out a slightly relieved sigh and added, “But now that the plan is out in the open, replacing you would be pointless and not worth the effort, so you should be safe. I know how Mother thinks.”
Shining rubbed his temples with his free hoof. “But if she could replace me this whole time, why wasn’t I a long time ago?”
Her face fell and her wings softly buzzed. “Because I love you so much that I begged for it. Mother was going to let me stay with you until you died of old age, until we started… disagreeing.”
“About that,” he started, “what were you arguing about?”
“That’s an even longer story,” she groaned with a small shiver.
Shining’s horn sprung to life, and her shackles unlocked, sliding harmlessly to the floor. He propped her up and held her tight, levitating her forgotten blanket and wrapping it around her. “You can tell me tomorrow,” he whispered. “It’s been a long, long day, for both of us.”
She hugged him back, a warmth beyond the strongest fire spreading through her as she relaxed in his arms. “But… where do we go from here?” she mumbled.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “We’re going to have to tell the princesses, Twilight included. From there… from there we should try to look for the real Cadence. Can I count on your help?”
“Haven’t backed down from saving the day a single time yet, have I?” she chuckled weakly. “Some of my siblings are pony sympathizers, though they’ve been too scared to help me in the past. If I, if we, can get through to them, maybe they can help us track her down, or at least figure out what happened to her.”
“Good,” he sighed with the smallest of smiles. “That’s good…”
The two sat silently in their den, holding each other close, for what felt like forever yet not nearly long enough. After letting the dying fire have its turn to talk, Shining finally nuzzled against her and muttered, “I love you.”
She held him tighter and nuzzled back. “Now I know you’re just saying that… but I love you too.” She pulled her head back and gently kissed him on the cheek, a soft blush coming to his face as he held her tighter.
She always knew Elysium was beyond her reach. But for even just a few minutes, a blink of an eye in her lifetime, she felt like she had something so much better.
Great chapter, but I feel as if it's strayed from what the story was originally intended to be. Nowadays, too many people opt for the happy ending. Not that I have a problem with that, but I just think this would have been better left alone as a short, sad ending. The idea of the 'real' Cadence being a fake was what made the first chapter interesting and dramatic, and it just seems too milked out at this point.
A new chapter.....
AAAAAHHH
Less poetic, sure, but the story! The story only gets better!
And now I wait for the next update
Sooo~ goood~
3056391
It's still marked incomplete.
Besides, nuts to tragedies.
Hmm. Not too bad at all.
~Skeeter The Lurker
3056391
Well... yes. You're totally right. I said about a dozen times this was intended to be a one-shot at first. But the original is still there, and it's not like I'm forcing anyone to read beyond it, and even if they do they can still prefer/revere the stand-alone beginning. And... happy ending? It... this wasn't the ending.
3056397
Good luck with getting your brain replaced.
3056431
Well, thanks! I couldn't really think of any way to keep up the letter format of the original, and if I did I think it might get gimmicky really fast. And I was sort of worried that the continued story might not be as good as the original. Bottom line, I know I have big shoes to fill.
3056452
Thank ye!
3056457
Well, still no guarantee of a happy ending - but I'm not going to keep it doom and gloom all the way down.
3056518
Heresy; my work is perfection! In all seriousness, thanks; still not sure what exactly I'm doing right that's getting all this attention.
3056573
You made us a good story with a good plot.
Keep it up.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Oh yes!
3056573
You're writing a good story with nice character interaction, and an original basic concept.
This gets really interesting. I am glad you continued the story. While your one-shot was the bigger surprise, what you are currently weaving has way more depth. So far you have added nuances to Cryptis, Shining Armor, and Chrysalis, that the first chapter had not. I am definitely following this further.
Oh, update.
Awesome name, works really well.
Oh snap. Can't wait for the next chapter, feel like shit's about to get real, and powerful peeps 'bout to be powerfully angry and confused.
Glad to see more of this, though I do wonder a little if it wouldn't have been better as a full on sequel instead of a continuation. Either way, I'm definitely looking forward to seeing where this goes.
thank you so much for continuing this.
I can't wait for the next chapter, this story is really interesting.
3056580
A certain word in there makes me want to make a really bad joke, because apparently somewhere in my brain I'm still 14. But thanks!
3056583
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mda3w1RRJK1rpn610o2_400.gif
3056591
Bit vague, and that describes most of my stories, but thanks.
3056634
Thank you very much! Though it's Crypsis, by the way.
3056725
static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Jenga+Real+Shit..+OH+SNAP.+SHIT+JUST+GOT+REAL_572f74_3590258.jpg
3056768 3056793
Hope I don't disappoint.
3056797
Lemme guess...
Plot?
You're not the only one.
~Skeeter The Lurker
I can't wait for more, this is a great series.
I really like the story!
Can't wait for the next one
While I agree that this is going in a completely different direction from the first chapter, I like the fact that you're continuing it!
Ladies and gentlemen:
Yes.
That is all.
I salute this chapter, that's all!
3056832
How did you know?!
3056966 3056968
Thank ye; hope I don't disappoint.
3057044
Yeah, as I said, not sure I could keep it in the original format without it getting grating or gimmicky.
3057049
Sometimes the cheap jokes are the most satisfying.
3057075
I could do the Rainbow Dash saluting meme... but I think I'll restrain myself this time.
3056797
My day just got made
My criticism of this chapter:
Shining gets over things too easily and too quickly. The story is set up for a very intense, lingering reaction from him, but that doesn't happen. He moves form wanting to kill her straight into "I love you." and telling her she's beautiful after just a few explanations a few minutes of angst. That's not realistic to me. (Yes, I know, magical cartoon horses, but let's say 'psychologically realistic".) Even if Shining is willing to believe that this creature is the Cadance he knew, she still broke his trust in a huge way, and it should take more than this for him to start treating her like his wife again.
Now, the author clearly made a good attempt at this transition - it's just not enough. It needs to be longer and more gradual, spread out over the majority of the story rather than condensed in one chapter like this. Shining shouldn't say "I love you" until at least the halfway point of the story.
Just my (not so) humble opinion.
3057248
That picture tends to do that.
3057292
I... can't really disagree with you. Tried to imply that Shining's just emotionally desperate, a bit in denial, and trying to avoid anything rash in case he's not being lied to, but I know that probably wasn't enough. I just don't know how in the world I could keep it emotionally resonant and not make Shining seem heartless. Because really, the only other way I could've seen this ending is Shining continuing to not trust her at all and throwing her in the dungeon. And, well, lying and false pretenses aside, once your spouse throws you in jail, your relationship is pretty much over regardless of whose fault it was. I tried a sad story that very realistically stayed pretty sad throughout in the form of Dear Spike, but that got draining for my readers over time to the point I got complaints, just as things were starting to look up. I feel I'm caught between a story path people would actually read, and one that is darker, less pleasant to write, less likely to get an audience, but ultimately better constructed.
3057349 Here's the thing: You do not need to mire this story in darkness in order to keep it realistic. You can seriously say that "the worst is over", but have the recovery process be more gradual.
There's a halfway point between "nuzzling" and "throwing in jail". If I were writing this story I'd say that the appropriate reaction from Shining would be: "I'll remove your shackles, and get you some food if you're hungry, but you're definitely sleeping on the couch tonight. And tomorrow. After that... we'll see. Married or not, I need to know who you really are before I let you get close to me again." Harsh, but hopeful.
3057292
It seemed like enough to me, but I admit I may have read into it when someone else might not have.
Or maybe I'm just trusting that Cryptis is telling the truth when she tells him he's just saying stuff like that, because he is. He doesn't love Cryptis; he loves Cadance, or at least what he believes is Cadance.
He doesn't think she's beautiful; he thinks Cadance is beautiful.
But he's been with Cryptis this entire time, so he reasons that these things must all be true, because lying to himself about it is easier than working through the dissonance that otherwise comes out of it.
Meanwhile, Cryptis' heart is constantly breaking in two because she knows he lying, and he can't be convinced he doesn't mean any of it.
This story might, eventually, have a happy ending, but it's not a happy story. It might be bittersweet, but we're gonna be chewing through a whole lot of bitter before we get to the sweet.
3057444 Fair enough. I suppose there's a lot that lends itself to subjective interpretation here. We're not seeing Shining's thoughts, so there's probably a lot going on under the surface that's not immediately apparent.
It's just the impression I got that Shining was being too accepting too quickly. In my view, he should be significantly more guarded.
And don't forget, I'm a guy on the internet with an opinion. That means I must be right.
3057640
Ah, but my opinion was voiced more recently, and is therefore the currently accepted one.
3056797
I was trying to complement you dammit. Guess I'll just smear the whole jar of complement on you.
3056797 hehe, "plot"
3057437
Hm... wouldn't think that that would be enough either, but that does sound better. And it's not too late to do that; Crypsis said that she needed to stay with him to be safe, didn't say that it'd be in the same bed. Could have that without having to change anything in this chapter, I think. Yeah, think I'll do that, and I'll keep it in mind next chapter. Thanks for the honest crit.
3057444
That's what I was going for yes, thank you. But he does have a point, and it's only the second chapter, so I'll be keeping his criticism in mind.
3057640
Thank you so much for being civil about this. Been having trouble lately with a critic or two that just don't get that sometimes an opinion is just an opinion.
3057923
S-slather? At least ask me out on a date first!
3057981
b.vimeocdn.com/ts/212/118/212118341_640.jpg
3058113 YEEEAAAHHHHHH!!!!!
I wanna cry, I just feel the emotional backlash and the feels.... Oh the feels
Shining, Best you succeed with that princess in your hooves. And save Cadence, once and for all!
3057349
I have to agree with Softy8088, if possible I think it's worth considering a rewrite/reworking later as long as future story isn't disrupted. That is to say that a little less happy, touchy-feely and a little more suspicion would be a good thing for one. Also, if Shining thinks she's lying at all he shouldn't have trusted that letter at all earlier.
DAWWWWW...
The reunion of Shining and Cadence was great.
I can not wait to see how Twilight will react to it.
Well done sir. I look forward to seeing where this story is going towards.
3056391 Don't you mean, too few stories have a happy ending?
3058113
Hey, it's easy to criticise.
Fun, too.
Seriously, I think this story's got a lot of potential. I really liked the one-shot. I just don't want the continuation to fall over with trite tropes and two-dimensional characterization.
But you are correct that storytelling is a subjective medium. What makes perfect sense to one person can be unrealistic and unbelievable to another.
Hope you don't mind me continuing to comment as new chapters come out, and thank you for taking my comments in the vein they were intended: as honest, non-hostile commentary.
3056391
Who says it will be a happy ending? Celestia, Twilight, and Chrysalis HATE 'Cadance'. You can never predict how the story will flow…
3058202
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3058610
Got another flood of tears incoming!
3059290
Hmr... think you may have skimmed over or neglected some pieces in your specific assessment, but if that's your opinion, it's your opinion.
3059805
Prrrrrobaby not too well.
3060049
And I hope it's worth the wait!
3060154
Depends on what ya read, I guess.
3060374
Well, I'd like to think that it isn't looking two-dimensional so far? And by all means, comment away; you seem to be a critic with both a good head on their shoulders and a solid grasp of courtesy and perspective (which is sadly not a given), so I'm not gonna stop you.
3060556
Eh, sometimes predicting me is a very safe bet if you know my work.
3060947 Predicting the unpredictable is a very predictable way to analyze a precitable story line, predictably of course. Unless your predictablity becomes unpreictable, I know the predictable outcome of a story you predictable will end predictably... Help I don't know what I am writing!!
3061393
Funny enough, this is how I feel too. And it has nothing to do with the quality of writing. I just... took it as a one-shot initially, and would rather have it that way.
3061050
Welcome to the club!
3061393 3061643
Um... okay? I mean, if it's not your thing, it's not your thing. Holding that against you would be akin to saying someone is stupid for not liking the horror genre. It's just silly to create hostility over purely subjective taste, and it's not like you're telling me that it sucks just because it's not your thing. No need to make a big deal about it; go forth and read stuff you like.
3061688
Right... sorry if my comment was offensive. In retrospect, it sounds a little offensive. Was it offensive?
I was just... Hmm... You know how you just agree with someone and blurt that thought out without really thinking?
Your story is good. I enjoyed reading the first chapter when I read it. And... why am I still speaking? I'll just... I'll just leave...
Uhh... sorry if I was rude?
I'm wondering if Crypsis will turn out to be a better pony than the real Cadence. That would be an epic twist for this!
3060947
Oh, of course it'll be worth the wait. This is one of your stories we're talking about.
3060947 (O_O)' Maybe?
...
I can already see this turning into yet another grimdark.