• Published 16th Dec 2012
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Six Brides for Two Sisters - Equus Pallidus



After spending Nightmare Night in Ponyville, Luna decides on how to reward the six mares who defeated Nightmare Moon and saved her from herself: Marriage.

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Chapter 2

Spike blinked at Twilight's outburst, his ears ringing from the volume. “I was just reading the letter, Twilight. It says–” Before he could repeat the contents of the letter, he was unceremoniously shrugged from his seat on Twilight’s back, and landed rather uncomfortably on the floor.

“What…? No, this doesn’t make any sense. How am I suddenly engaged to both princesses? Did something happen last night?” She began to trot in place, her steps high and nervous. Spike took a step away from her, recognizing by now the signs that she might not be in the most lucid of moods anymore. His retreat was interrupted as a red-violet aura surrounded him, and he found himself pulled through the air, face to face with a slightly deranged looking Twilight. “Spike, did my friends and I all get drunk with Princess Luna last night and then engage in wildly inappropriate behavior?"

He considered his options. Part of him, a very small, stupid part, wanted to tell her that yes, they had all gotten wasted and had an orgy right in the town square while everypony watched. The look on her face would almost be worth his subsequent death as she went on a panic-induced rampage. A larger, growing part of him wanted to focus on that mental image for a moment, particularly Rarity’s involvement in the proceedings. A dopey smile began to spread on his face as he indulged himself briefly, until a violent telekinetic shake brought him back to reality. Sighing, he settled on the truth. “I don’t think so, Twilight. After the town party broke up, the Princess said good-bye to Pinkie, AJ, and Dash, then the two of you went off so Luna could thank Fluttershy again, and she left. So unless she came back after I fell asleep…” His voice began to trail off at the end as he one more imagined the potential scene.

Twilight dropped the fantasizing dragon, nodding nervously to herself as she left him to smile blithely at nothing. “Okay… okay, good. Good, that’s what I remember, too. So I didn’t lose my virginity to the Princess of the Night or any of my friends while I was too drunk to remember. That’s… comforting, I suppose,” she muttered to herself as she began to pace in a circle, her mental state quickly deteriorating. “Focus, Twilight, have to focus. Think of the facts,” Her left eyelid began fluttering nervously as she tried, unsuccessfully, to not panic. “One - Princess Luna wants to marry you and your friends. That’s bad. Maybe some of them will think it’s fantastic. Not important right now. Two - you also ended up publicly engaged to your mentor, somehow. That’s… let’s reserve judgment on that for the moment. Three – an unknown number of reporters, though presumably at least four, are waiting outside of your door, blocking your only means of escape. At least one of them is saucy.”

“Uh, Twilight, can’t you just teleport past them?” Spike asked, the distracting fantasy losing some of its appeal as Twilight began to devolve into madness.

“Four – a baby dragon is in the living room making helpful suggestions. Keep him handy; he might be useful, if only as a projectile later.” She enveloped him in her telekinetic aura again, and yanked him towards her as she sat, catching him and wrapping her forelegs around him tightly. “Thanks for the reminder, number one assistant.”

“No problem,” he replied, his voice muffled by the lavender fur pressed against his mouth. He really needed to learn to stop trying to reason with her when she was like this.

“Okay, so here’s the plan. First, teleport around, gather up the others. Second, run away and assume new identities as far from Canterlot as possible. Third, if running fails and Luna catches us, cast ‘Want It, Need It’ spell on one of the others and hope it distracts Luna long enough for the rest of us to run.” She nodded to herself, considering her options. “Rainbow Dash or Rarity as preferred target. They seem like the kind to enjoy it, don’t you think? Yes, definitely. They’ll probably thank you. Any objections from anypony?” Her ears flicked nervously as she looked around the room, having laid out her “plan.”

“Yes, several,” the dragon offered as best he could She was squeezing him tighter the longer she went on, and he was already beginning to have difficulty breathing.

“Good, no objections from anypony,” she announced, emphasizing the final two syllables. She ignored the groaning dragon clutched in her forelegs as her saddle bag floated to her. “Emergency supplies, including scrolls and quill to correspond with the potentially less insane princess, check. Off we go.” Before Spike could try to voice another complaint, the pair vanished in a flash of light.

****

Fluttershy smiled as the first rays of the sun shone through her bedroom window. The morning after Nightmare Night was, quite possibly, the timid pegasus’ favorite morning of the year, for she recognized its true significance; it was the morning furthest away from the next Nightmare Night. Hearth’s Warming morn was a distant second, for as much as she loved friendship and togetherness, it simply couldn’t compete with the of peace of mind of having a full year until the next Nightmare Night. Her absolute refusal to sleep on Nightmare Night had the added benefit of leaving her too tired to be frightened, so all in all it was a pretty good day for her.

She slowly walked down stairs, smiling gently, and made her way into the kitchen. She filled a brass kettle with water for her tea and morning oats, and set it on the stove to heat. Last night had been particularly stressful, even by Nightmare Night standards. It was bad enough to see foals running around dressed as monsters, but Nightmare Moon herself appearing on her doorstep had put even more of a strain on her already frayed nerves. Of course, once the initial shock of a Princess appearing at her doorstep, accompanied by the secondary shock of the enthusiastic hug she’d received as thanks, had passed, Fluttershy had been forced to admit to herself that Luna seemed nice enough overall. That didn’t stop her from being glad that she was unlikely to see the Princess of the Night again for a long while. She shuddered at the thought of what it would be like to be in the overwhelming alicorn’s company every day.

The whistle of the kettle drew her from her reverie, and she carefully removed it from the heat, the worn surface of the wooden handle comfortable in her mouth. She finished pouring the water into a porcelain teapot, the hot water seeping into a strainer of chamomile tea. She was about to pour the rest into a bowl for her oatmeal when she heard a knock at the door. Curious, she set the kettle down and walked out of the kitchen and across the living room, as quietly as possible to avoid waking her sleeping animal friends, and gently cracked the door open.

“See, I told you I heard somepony moving in there,” a powder blue unicorn mare said to the pale green pegasus beside her. She then turned to look at the puzzled mare. “Miss Fluttershy, yes? I recognize you from your modeling work. I’m Quick Quills, a reporter with Canterlot Daily New. My associate and I were wondering if you might like to make a comment regarding your forthcoming wedding to Princess Luna?”

The door closed quietly, leaving two very puzzled ponies on the outside, and one very much in denial pony on the inside. ‘What strange ponies, just stopping by to say hello for no apparent reason,’ Fluttershy thought to herself, a forced grin on her face. ‘I’m so glad that’s what they said, and didn’t suggest that I’ve somehow become engaged without my knowledge. Because that would be bad.’ She nodded happily as she stepped away from the door, only to be greeted by a flash of light.

“Hi Fluttershy,” Twilight said to the pegasus, noticing the look on the other mare’s face; other than the coloration, mane, facial structure, and, of course, horn, it was like looking in a mirror. ‘So, that’s what I look like when my mind breaks. Interesting,’ she reflected. “Guess you already heard the news, then?”

Fluttershy nodded. “Oh, good morning Twilight. No, I haven’t heard any news. Especially no news about weddings. That would be so funny if I had.” She forced herself to laugh. “I do think I’m having a nightmare, though, which means I must be asleep without realizing it.” With that, she promptly collapsed in a twitching heap as her brain shut itself down rather than acknowledge that she was not, in fact, having a nightmare.

“That went well,” Spike deadpanned. Twilight ignored him as she bent over and gripped Fluttershy’s tail in her teeth. She briefly wondered why it tasted like vanilla before the trio vanished again.

****

Big Macintosh sat at the kitchen table, waiting for his sister to descend the stairs with the hint of a grin pulling at his lips. He and his family had a rule about Nightmare Night: nopony in his family asked him where he went after the public festivities ended, what he did when he went there, or how many mares were involved in that doing. For his part, he let the mares sleep in the next morning, and tried to keep the answer to the third question to ‘less than six at any given time.’ He was a stallion of his word, at least as far as the first part of his promise, and wouldn’t wake his sister up early for anything short of a life or death emergency, regardless of how badly he wanted to. He settled for rereading the front page story in the Canterlot Daily News for thirteenth time in the past half hour. Somehow, it hadn’t stopped being funny yet.

He was getting ready for read-through number fourteen when Applejack stumbled down the steps, bits of straw from the night before still stuck in her mane. “Mornin’, Big Mac,” she greeted with a yawn. “Good night last night?” She glanced over at him expectantly as she pulled a chipped, brown pottery mug from the cupboard.

“Eeyup,” the stallion replied simply as he watched his sister fill the mug with black coffee and carry it from the stove to the table, head titled awkwardly as she held the handle in her teeth. She sat on the bare floor of the kitchen and set the drink down, nodding towards the paper her brother had laid a hoof over.

“Anythin’ interestin’ in the paper today?’ she asked, placing her hooves on either side of the mug and lifting it gingerly to her lips to take a sip. She grimaced as the too-hot liquid flowed down her throat, and set the coffee down to let it cool.

“Eeyup,” he answered, a hint of humor creeping into his voice as he slid the paper across the table. His sister noticed the picture of Princess Luna first, followed by the headline.

“Well, Ah’ll be,” she said, impressed. “Spend one night socializin’ and she’s already fixin’ to get hitched.” She set the paper aside, unread, and tried another sip of her coffee. Still too hot. “Is it somepony from Ponyville?”

“Eeyup,” he confirmed, his smile growing wider.

“Anypony we know?” she questioned, eyebrow quirked. She could have just read the story herself, but she still felt too tired for that.

“Eeyup.” The smile was taking up most of his face by this point, and Applejack was beginning to become annoyed. She was used to her brother’s economy of words, but he normally wasn’t quite so cryptic.

“Well, are you gonna tell me who it is, or are you gonna make your poor sister wait until she’s awake enough to read it for herself?” She frowned at him in annoyance as she moved to take another drink from her mug..

“You,” He began to laugh, and his sister rolled her eyes angrily.

“Fine, then. Don’t tell me,” she snapped, and turned her attention to the article, her annoyance serving as a far better stimulant than caffeine ever could. As she read through the article, that annoyance quickly drained from her, as did most of the blood from her face. When she finished reading, she looked up at her still grinning brother. “Big Mac… is this payback for that time Ah poked you in the chest when yer ribs were bruised?” The stallion shook his head. “Those times Ah left you to mind Apple Bloom and Granny while Ah was off havin’ some kinda adventure with ma friends?” Another shake. “Any kinda joke at all?” A third shake. “Well, Ah suppose Ah’ll just be running for my life and honor now, then.” She stood shakily, wishing she’d brought her hat down. No time to retrieve it now, though. “Give mah love to Apple Bloom and Granny.”

“Reporters right outside,” he casually informed her as she turned, freezing her midstep. “Whole bunch of ‘em.”

“Ah see,” she said, sitting slowly back down. “Well then, Ah guess Ah’d better learn how to please a mare,” she muttered, head hung low. “And figure out a way to fake mah own death, so Granny doesn’t try to kill me for real when she hears about mah new ‘immoral’ lifestyle.”

“Got some books you can borrow, might help with the first thing,” Big Mac offered, unable to hide his amusement, despite his sister’s state.

“Ya’ll are enjoying this too much, Big Mac,” she groused, and then grimaced as a realization struck her. “Ya’ll been thinking about mah friends… bein’ with Princess Luna, haven’t you!” She sprang back to her hooves, glaring daggers at him

“Eeyup!” he enthusiastically replied, refusing to let himself take such an impossible situation seriously. He was about to admonish her to relax and realize it was probably a misunderstanding somepony had had, when a filly’s scream pierced the air.

“Ah need an adult! Ah need an adult!” Apple Bloom screamed from upstairs. Both her siblings were up the stairs in a flash, other issues forgotten as their baby sister called for help. Big Mac’s longer legs carried him ahead of his sister, and he burst through the door, nostrils flared, ready to defend the filly against any intruders… at least until he saw those intruders.

Twilight Sparkle sat on the small bed to one side of the filly, muttering something unintelligible as she tried to speak through the long pink tail in her mouth; the tail extended across the bed to a still catatonic Fluttershy. Frowning, the unicorn spat the tail out of her mouth. “Apple Bloom, I am an adult." She turned to the sound of hoofsteps just as Applejack walked into the room. “Oh, hi Applejack. Heard the news yet?” Her eyes were twitching in an alternating rhythm as her friend nodded.

“Twi… Ah think that Ah need an adult, too,” Applejack said, running a hoof slowly through her mane as she wondered at how surreal her morning had become.

“Well, as I just established, I’m an adult, and I’m planning to run away with all of our other friends until this all blows over. Or we’re all dead. You know, whichever happens first.” She shrugged, as if either option was equally agreeable. “Want to come with?”

“Just let me get mah hat,” the other mare replied flatly, and left the room to retrieve the garment, leaving the others in silence.

“So… Big Mac, good night last night?” Spike asked to fill the void, voice still muffled as Twilight held him against her chest. The stallion nodded, the movement just visible to the dragon. “Good, good.” Applejack walked back into the room, worn Stetson settled comfortably on her head, and stepped over to Twilight, placing a hoof on the unicorn’s shoulder. Twilight bent over and took Fluttershy’s tail in her teeth again. “Well, guess we’re going. Have a good day, buddy.” With a flash, the quartet vanished.

The remaining two ponies stared at each other, blinking in confusion at the morning’s events. “Big brother, can Ah get a restraining order against Twilight Sparkle?” the filly finally asked, weariness more than fear provoking the question. “That’s the second time she’s just randomly showed up near me with that creepy grin, and something weird’s happened both times. Ah’m worried it’ll warp mah fragile little psyche if it keeps happenin’, and Scootaloo’s been pushin’ ‘Cutie Mark Crusader Shock Therapists’ something fierce lately.”

The stallion shook his head, and settled down beside his sister’s bed to explain that the unicorn was just a mite high-strung, and that getting a restraining order against their sister’s… joint… wife-in-law would make their lives even more complicated than they already were.

And then, he had to explain what he meant by ‘joint wife-in-law.’ The day, which had started off so well, was quickly going downhill.

****

Mr. and Mrs. Cake both peered out from behind the counter at the pink mare sitting, stock still, with her back to the main door to Sugarcube Corner. She was just sitting there, staring into the middle of the room with an enormous smile on her face. Neither of them was entirely sure what was going on. All they knew was that their tenant/assistant/pseudo-daughter had burst into the bedroom slightly after dawn, announced that her Pinkie Sense had signaled, quote, “The Doozy to End All Doozies,” and then bounded off, leaving the couple to begin panicking in private. When they had nervously descended to the first floor several minutes later, they had been mentally prepared for nearly anything, up to and including some manner of rebellion by the day-old baked goods as the assorted confections rose up and began devouring ponies in revenge. Instead, they simply saw Pinkie Pie, sitting in place, a large box tied with string at her hooves.

They had taken cover immediately, husband and wife exchanging a look that expressed they would have preferred an uprising by the parfaitariat. At least then their deaths might have been swift and painless.

“Pinkie… dear,” Mrs. Cake began slowly, ready to duck back behind the relative safety of the display case, “this, uh… 'doozy’ of yours… any idea what it might be?” The younger mare cocked her head to the side, briefly thinking before she enthusiastically nodded her head, smile still fixed on her face.

“We were just wondering if we’d be safer here, or fleeing for our lives, is all,” Mr. Cake added. “Mind giving us a hint about that?”

Pinkie opened her mouth to answer, but before she could speak there was a brilliant flash of light in the center of the room. “Oh, hi girls,” she said instead, greeting her newly arrived friends. “Oh, and Spike. How’s it going?”

“Princess Luna’s fixin’ to marry all of us, so Twi’s rounding us all up so we can run away like cowards to maintain our dignity and pride,” Applejack explained, completely serious. “Guess she decided to pick you up next. How’re you?”

The pink mare’s eyes shone with glee. “Well, I was doing pretty good to begin with, since I had a massive twitchy-twitch. I mean, it was so intense I could barely see straight afterwards." Her smile, already wide, grew slightly manic. “And now I know what it meant… all of us? Like, all six of us at the same time?” Applejack nodded grimly. “We are going to need so many parties to handle this."

Twilight tried to say something, her words rendered unintelligible by Fluttershy’s tail still gripped in her teeth. “Twilight wishes to remind everypony that you’re in a bit of a rush,” Spike helpfully translated, having learned long ago to interpret her barely comprehensible requests. With a nod, Pinkie bent forward, grabbed box by the string with her teeth, and stepped over to the assembled group, throwing her forelegs around the two conscious mares dramatically. Another flash, and the quintet vanished, leaving the Cakes to stare in confusion.

“Honey… remember when this town could go months without something insane happening?” Mr. Cake asked, trying to work out what, exactly, had just happened. His wife simply nodded, wishing desperately that she could have a stiff drink right then and there.

****

Twilight Sparkle, even in her less than rational state, remembered Rainbow Dash’s habits well enough to anticipate that the pegasus would still be in bed, and so teleported the steadily expanding group directly to her bedroom. She had miscalculated the destination slightly, resulting in the party appearing directly over Dash’s bed. More importantly, she had forgotten a fairly significant detail of the bedroom in question; specifically, that it was made out of clouds. As a result, gravity promptly took control and sent them plummeting through said clouds, the combined weight of the earth ponies, unicorn, and dragon enough to drag both of the pegasi through the soft material along with them.

“Teleport us again! Teleport us again!” Spike shouted, barely audible over the roar of free-fall and the three screaming mares. As the ground rapidly rushed up to meet them, he made peace with Celestia, and declared his intent to haunt Luna for prompting this mess. The sextet vanished again five feet from the ground. Several news pegasi looked over the edge of Dash’s cloud house towards the ground, wondering what had just happened and if there was a story in it.

****

Sweetie Belle lay on the soft carpet in the main room of Carousel Boutique, looking through some of the fabric remnants her sister had given her permission to use. She was awake far earlier than she normally would have been, having been stirred from her slumber by what had sounded like somepony screaming ‘What!?’ as loudly as she could. She had briefly tried to fall back asleep, but a combination of both lingering excitement and lingering sugar from the night before had caused her to abandon that attempt after a few minutes. It was still too early to wake Rarity to get permission to go outside and play, and she was explicitly forbidden from further attempts to cook, so she contented herself with the fabric, trying to think of something nice to make to thank her sister for making Nightmare Night costumes for her and the other Crusaders.

Her efforts were interrupted by the sudden appearance of five ponies and a dragon a foot above the floor. The visitors seemed to hang in the air for an instant, all momentum temporarily arrested by the teleportation magic, followed by a short drop. Luckily, Fluttershy’s fall was cushioned by some of the discarded fabric samples, and Twilight’s, Applejack’s, and Pinkie’s were also cushioned. Unfortunately for Rainbow Dash, her fall wasn’t cushioned, and she served as the cushion for three of her friends. The impacts knocked her awake, and she groaned in pain.

“Seriously, this is the last time I drink on Nightmare Night. I wake up in pain, and I don’t even get to remember the drinking, or going to bed with… hang on, Applejack, Pinkie, and Twilight?” She smirked despite the discomfort of having three of her friends on top of her. “Wow, I guess I had some serious game last night, huh?” Her restored bravado grew as Sweetie stuck her head into view, smiling broadly. “Oh, hi there, Sweetie Belle. Dang, four in one night, that’s… wait, Sweetie Belle?”

The implication struck her with more force than her friends landing on her, and she found the strength to throw the other mares off her, leaping into the air in a panic. “Oh no. Oh, sweet baby Celestia, no. I had too much game last night! Too… much… game!” she wailed. “I’m too awesome to go to prison! Do you know what they’ll do to me in there? And that’s if Rarity doesn’t kill me and turn me into a dress for despoiling her little sister! A really frilly, girly, totally uncool dress as lasting punishment for… wait, why are we in Carousel Boutique?” She frowned as her brain,taking longer than usual to process information as a result of her sudden awakening and minor concussion, finally caught up with her. She noticed her fellow pegasus laying on the floor, partially covered by fabric. “And why is Fluttershy dead?”

“We’re picking up Rarity, and she isn’t,” Twilight answered matter-of-factly, the near-death experience jolting her partway back to sanity. “And, even though it technically wasn’t a question, you didn’t do anything with Sweetie last night, or anypony else to the best of my knowledge, and its sick that that’s the first thing you think of.”

“If you have too many games, Rainbow Dash, could I get some?” Sweetie Belle asked, innocently. “We’ve been having fewer ideas to crusade with lately, and we've had a lot of holes in our schedule. I bet Scootaloo would be willing to try any games you might have that could help us fill our holes.” The four conscious adults exchanged meaningful glances at Sweetie’s statement.

“I retract my previous criticism,” Twilight said dryly, suddenly feeling the need to take a long shower as Dash flashed her a wicked grin. She also noticed she was still squeezing Spike rather tightly, and released him with a sheepish smile. He simply shook his head and sat down, savoring the ability to breath freely again. “Sorry to barge in like this, Sweetie, but we kind of need to find Rarity and then… well, we need to find Rarity. Is she still asleep?”

The filly nodded. “She usually doesn’t get up until much later, especially after Nightmare Night. Making costumes for most of the town leaves her really tired. And cranky. I… wouldn’t recommend waking her up. The last pony who tried… it didn’t end well.” She shuddered as she remembered that particular morning. So much screaming. Her mood quickly rebounded, and she looked up at the adults, asking, “Anything I can help you with in the meantime?”

“Does Rarity have any wedding dresses on hoof, Sweetie?” Pinkie asked as she untied the box with her hooves. The cardboard top sprang open, revealing a veritable mountain of doughnuts, muffins, and Danishes, several of which she snatched up in her mouth and swallowed whole. “We’re going to need… seven, I think?”

“Eight,” Spike corrected as he grabbed an éclair. “Twilight’s getting married to both of the Princesses, so Celestia will probably need a dress, too.” He bit down on the pastry, bits of filling squirting out and striking Sweetie Belle across the face. The filly giggled, licking up the goo as the adults flinched again.

“No more éclairs,” Twilight commanded, snatching the offending pastry from the dragon’s claw with her magic and throwing it away. “And no dresses, either. We’re running away, remember?” Pinkie shrugged, then leaped into the air, catching the discarded pastry and swallowing it in one gulp, choking slightly as it caught in her throat.

“Wait, who’s doing what with who now?” Dash asked, completely lost by the sudden change in topic.

“I’ve been wondering about that, actually… why are you running away, Twilight? Can’t you just… explain to Princess Luna that you don’t want to marry her? Seems easier than starting a whole new life; especially when you six are all pretty famous." Feeling rather hungry, he picked up a powdered doughnut, sticking his tongue through the hole in the center and licking it clean before swallowing it down. Applejack looked at him, considering the idea.

“He’s got a point there, Twi. Does seem a mite easier than all this running and secrecy and panic."

“Oh, yes, that’s brilliant. We’ll just go talk to Princess Luna and explain to her that no, we don’t want to marry her. Because making her feel rejected and unloved has never ended poorly for anypony in the past, and certainly hasn’t resulted in her attempting to more or less kill everypony,” she deadpanned. “Oh, wait, no, that’s exactly what happened last time she felt that way!” Her voice echoed off the walls of the boutique, her eyes beginning to twitch again.

“I’m sorry, go back… Princess Luna wants to do what now? How long was I asleep for?” Rainbow Dash asked again as she landed and began to nudge Fluttershy with her hoof. Her legs twitched, satisfying Dash that she was, in fact, still alive.

“Alright, fine… but still, Princess Celestia, Twilight. I remember how excited you were the day she just randomly announced she’d marry you, when you were ready,” he countered, rummaging through the pastries, smiling as he emerged with a bit of spotted dick, sans custard, which he proffered to the hungry-looking filly next to him.

“I… I was excited, Spike.” Twilight nodded wistfully. “It was so sudden, but… I was prepared to wear her dress, walk down the aisle and all the rest. And even do the… naughty bits. But I wasn’t prepared for this…” she began, and everypony thought they heard a tinkling of music for an instant, until a band of blue magic wrapped itself around her muzzle, forcing her mouth closed.

“Oh, no,” Rarity said coolly as she stepped off the stairs. “I’ve already been woken up by a screaming pony and forced to make myself presentable at this unholy hour.” She shook her perfectly styled mane for emphasis. “You are not going to break into song right now. Now, you have ten seconds to explain why you’re all in my studio, uninvited, lest I decide to make you model some decidedly uncomfortable ensembles for the rest of the day.” She tapped her left forehoof against the floor. “I’m waiting.”

“Princess Luna wants to marry the six of you, and have Twilight marry Princess Celestia at the same time, and now the town is swarming with reporters so Twilight started freaking out and gathering you all up so you can run away and not get married and that’s why everypony is here and by Celestia you’re sexy when you’re angry,” Spike blurted out, suddenly slapping his claws over his mouth as he realized what he’d said.

“I… see,” Rarity released her magical grip on Twilight, and turned to face her. “That’s all accurate, Twilight?” Twilight nodded sheepishly. “Well, this simply won’t do at all.” A wicked, though not the least bit malicious, smirk formed on her lips. “Everypony, line up, I simply must begin the fittings for our gowns immediately. Thankfully, my own is already waiting.” Her magic wrapped around Twilight’s horn, blocking her ability to teleport out. “Not quite the gender I’d had in mind, but marriage into royalty is marriage into royalty.” She chuckled to herself, and Pinkie joined in, already planning out all the parties she’d need to throw.

The other three wakeful mares, meanwhile, began to panic as their eyes twitched in unison, while Spike and Sweetie Belle sat back to enjoy a pleasantly suggestive dessert.