You're a random human on Earth trying to get some sleep, but these blasted ponies keep appearing in your room. You don't know where they come from, or how they got here, but they insist on sleeping with you in a non sexual manner.

Have you ever wanted to get cuddled by a pony? How about against your will? No? Yes? Either way you are getting cuddled whether you like it or not.

Warning: Adorable cuddling may or may not be suitable for younger readers.
Warning: I can't select all the ponies, but yes all ponies(and other species) are capable of cuddling you. No you're not safe.

Edited by: http://www.fimfiction.net/user/technicscratch

“You know how when you're at a party, and you use what you didn't realize was a magic letter to Princess Celestia to roll a joint?
I guess maybe that's not, uh, a thing, but yeah, I did that this one time. It was at that huge party Shannon and Adam had a while back. You know, Max's friends? …No, Celestia's not one of—They wouldn't know each other...
But anyway, yeah, in case you were wondering why I'm all like, a girl unicorn now, that was kinda the short version.”

Meet Rob, a 27 year old musician who gets more than he bargained blah blah blah
Get a front-row seat in his brain for the Long Version, as he wracks it trying to weasel out of being a pony, or at least not let anything slip by as he takes it one freaky moment at a time.

What will the other lost-weekenders think when they walk in on him passed out on their couch? Will he be able to get through the city and at least back to his apartment, if not to normal? Will he learn anything about REAL friendship along the way and stop being such an insufferable hipster? What if some blowhard fan author just couldn't “turn it off” and ended up trying to write a pony story as actual sci-fi? Will Ahuizotl get the statue? Does P=NPony? Can you grab me another beer while you're up?
And did that letter ever get to Princess Celestia?
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Your standard pony Trip Report, with your standard pseudo-autobiographical narrator, written to flush out my creative plumbing and play around with, uh, like, good...thinkies and word-putting, and because the urge to do it just wouldn't leave me alone, so I just had to get it outta my system. I just really like the juxtaposition of humans and ponies, I guess.

Title is obviously a reference to M-Theory and Tristram Shandy, respectively. Because I can never pick just one thing.

Rated T for Adult Situations, gratuitous overthinking, and fuckloads of swearing. Oh and I guess drug use.

You keep sayin' somethin' about bein' male and "human" before you showed up in Appleloosa. I'm not sure what you're talkin' about, stranger, but I can certainly tell you're pretty darn mad about what happened. Sit down a spell, will you? Tell me more about this "Trask" feller...

Cover art by Trinityinyang.

You're never too young to learn something new.

With computers becoming a new hit in Equestria, Twilight and Spike travel back to Canterlot so that she can learn all she can about these new devices and how they work. Meeting the colorful staff and students, Twilight slowly starts to learn that not all problems can be solved with a solution in the book.

Maybe she should try a video tutorial.

Adrian Parker is a man on a mission. After a strange purple pony from another world shows up at his house, he is determined to forget about it and return to a normal life. But the governments of the United States and the alien kingdom of Equestria have other plans. Will Adrian escape his destiny? Will the Americans convince him to serve his country? Will the Equestrians teach him the magic of friendship? No to all three, but it'll be fun to watch them try.

(Rated Teen for language and brief pony nudity.)

UPDATE: No new chapter this week. Something, something, writer's block, something. Sorry, everypony. :-(

Pinkie Pie has a new friend who just arrived in Ponyville. She sees him every morning, when he orders a plain old breakfast muffin. She's tried several times to surprise him with parties, but he always manages to disappear. Today, however, will be different!

Waking up in an alternate universe in which you are a supervillain can be hard.

Finding out your friends are rebels trying to kill or overthrow you isn't very easy to deal with either.

But trying to solve the situation? That's a real horn cracker.

Reader, in ancient days, the old lords of the world numbered in thousands. Then hundreds. Then even less.
Now, they are found only in tapestries and fanciful ballads.
The creatures are all vanished. All but one.

Rumors say there are more of him, somewhere far away. A young and supposedly gifted mage called Star Swirl, and Heartstrings, a gentle spinster, have joined him on a journey to find the rest.

Featured in The Royal Guard's Fic Spotlight #5
TV Tropes page (that could use more love)

It occurred one peaceful night. Half of Equestria awoke to the sound like a double-shot thunderclap. A percussion heard in the skies and rattling windows from Apploosa, to Canterlot, to Ponyville. Nopony knew what it was or what it heralded for the world as it drew a line across the nation.

For Twilight Sparkle, this isolated incident might have faded from memory after a time, if not for the strange rumors of a creature sitting on the hill on the outskirts of town.

These are her thoughts given written form. These are Sparkle's Notes.

Report EVERYTHING to the Princess.

Banishing Queen Chrysalis was not without complications. Twilight has found herself on the plane of Innistrad, a dark place wrestling with ghosts, spirits, vampires, curses, and other things that should not be. Now she's on a world with no backup, no books and no plan beyond basic survival. Yet friendship is still a powerful thing, even in this new world of gothic horror. Now Twilight must find a way home, while still trying to do the right thing. [MLP:FiM][MtG:Innistrad block][Horror-genre themes]