Adrian Parker is a man on a mission. After a strange purple pony from another world shows up at his house, he is determined to forget about it and return to a normal life. But the governments of the United States and the alien kingdom of Equestria have other plans. Will Adrian escape his destiny? Will the Americans convince him to serve his country? Will the Equestrians teach him the magic of friendship? No to all three, but it'll be fun to watch them try.
(Rated Teen for language and brief pony nudity.)
UPDATE: No new chapter this week. Something, something, writer's block, something. Sorry, everypony. :-(
Chapters (7)
I'll hold off on a rating until I see another few chapters. There's a lot of potential here.
There isn't much to rate here, but what I do see I'm liking. Particularly interesting is a Pony on Earth - they don't seem to be a very common topic, and in fact I've only seen it in My Little Dashie (Also Anthropology, but those chapters aren't out yet). You've instantly broken the rule of keeping it a secret, so I'm seeing a unique and well-planned story. I'm really liking this.
One criticism - and It's an unsure one. Did you really write [REDACTED] in place of the swear words? If so, consider changing it to ****. It's just my opinion, but I think it flows better. Otherwise, I need to find some language filtering options and turn them off...
> Rated teen for language and brief pony nudity.
> Ponies are always nude.
LOLWAT
This is city animal control. how may we help you today?
yia this is Adrian Parker have a little problem a strange creature is infront of my house I think it might be dangerous.
ok what is your position?
south street 3RD amelia.
ok Mr. Parker we will be dispaching a team to asses the situation have a nice day. click
... F**********************************
Magnificent!
It's only the first chapter - and a mite short, at that - but the writing style is brilliant... and I've already thoroughly identified with the main character.
Of course, I have only the vaguest idea of where this is going, but the hints you dropped intrigue me with the promises of comic adventures and reluctant anti-heroes. I eagerly await the next installment with bated breath!
It annoys me how you wont show us the cuss words, but all the the less I liked the whole animal control thing, huge cliff hanger man
226344 I just imagine a (BEEEEEEEEEEEP) every time I see "[REDACTED]"!
About that last sentence: [REDACTED]
DUDE! HOW CAN YOU LEAVE A BRONY HANGING LIKE THAT!! GIVE ME MOAR!!!!!!!!!
I do believe this story has one of the most original concepts I've ever read on this site.
I mean that in the best way possible.
My only lamentation is the length of the chapters... I really wish they were longer.
Luna: 'Tia, why are you going to a different dimension?
Holy crap... You actually played out the anti-hero scenario.
A lot of authors claim to have an anti-hero... whose innermost good nature convinces him to play along and help literally within paragraphs of the meeting. It takes real commitment to the character's persona to have him not only actually try to get the ponies out of his life, but temporarily succeed without succumbing to some plot-required hidden feelings of pity or selflessness.
There's going to be a real, genuine anti-hero in this one... this further justifies my love for this story.
I was speechless at the end. This is wonderfully new and shiny, and I'm going to enjoy every moment of reading it. :)
Sir, do you have any idea how MOAR you were going?
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I have a problem how your not writing any more chapters!
JOLLY GOODSHOW
Major Faust? Yeah, you went there.
The more you write, the more I fall in love with you
...
r writing.
Thiessen? Wootton? Renzetti? Faust? These have got to be the most creative names for people ever! Man, how ever did you come up with them?
Sarcasm aside, this continues to be pretty good. And I agree with Colonel Patterson, the only way to decide on who goes on such a dangerous mission is the time-tested "nose-goes" method. And Lieutenant Wright couldn't be more spot-on with his "wish we could forget about the Nats." And it sure is pleasant to come across what is to be a HiE story where the character is there against his will and wants nothing more than to go home and forget everything. And the prose it nice too. Keep up the good work!
I too find the fact that the main character is a non-brony type who wants nothing to do with colourful, talking ponies a refreshing change! Will be interesting to see whether he stays cranky or is won over by Love & Tolerence in the end...
Also, thank you for coming up with a workable theory for how hooves "work"! I've always wondered about that.
DAMNIT! I HATE CLIFFHANGERS!!!
"Pinkie Pie is different."
It's fun to seen the reactions of a normal dude who simply doesn't want anything to do with the ponies. And the doll-communication was awesome.
Twilight summoned a Japanese tentacle monster... hot
"Her Highness reserves the right to punish such defiance with exile to any of the dungeons she maintains outside Equestrian territory," the guard answered.
I see what you did dar!
I choked on the last line. And our sourpuss of a protagonist continues to just barely make friends in Equestria.
Awesome chapter so far, I think the next course of action is quite obvious. You must post more chapters post-haste!
Parker needs to meet Cranky Doodle Donkey, the one person in Equestria who shares his world view!
381916
Bahaha, I would have sit my drink had I been imbibing any! Oh god, the mental image.
I have to say that it is oh so refreshing to have an intelligent, sort-of friendly protagonist in a HiE story that wants nothing to do with it all.
With the exception of the limitet semi-hostillity he showed Twi in the beginning and his reluctance to walk-and-talk with the ponies, I find that he responds much as I would, if I were worried about the same things that worry him, at least. Such as fame and blame. Though, I wouldn't want the fame, either.
All in all, another excellent chapter, though a bit short on verbosity and "action".
Edit: After looking at the other chapters I realize that this chapter is the same length as the others. It just felt short for some reason.
Where's the next chapter?
Don't worry, I'll wait. 
Good first encounter done LOGICALLY, for once. Look at many, many, many "first encounter" fics. I guarantee you, you will find at least one where
the humans' reaction to another sentient species is "Hey, aliens that are just like us, except in pony form. Let's kill/enslave/murder/wage war/make them mad at us! It'll be fun!
Danny Thiessen, Molly Wootton? I am willing to bet a lot of money that those names were intentionally chosen.
Humanity is the fusion of all opposites. We can be homicidally insane, and calm as a windless pond. We can be more cruel than anything you can imagine, but we can also feed the sick and hungry when it provides no benefit to ourselves. We know of great joy, we know of great sadness. Ask three people a question and you will have six different opinions.
We are a flawed race, but we are trying to correct our flaws. To ask one person to summarize what scholars and philosophers have debated for thousands of years, is an impossibility.
"Her Highness reserves the right to punish such defiance with exile to any of the dungeons she maintains outside Equestrian territory," the guard answered. That was hilariously clever. Well played! Also, the whole cuthulu type spawn thing attacking Pinkie Pie was equally wonderful. I'm enjoying the originality of this story.
McCracken AFB?
The naming is great. If you excuse me, I must google Renzetti and Patterson now.
McCracken?
What is this guys problem? Can't handle a little cognitive dissonance.
"Genetic experiment gone horribly right and implanted with false memories," Danny offered.
"Some child with latent psychic powers turning her fantasies into reality," Molly suggested.
"I was just gonna say 'robot,'" I said, "but I like their answers a lot better."
thats just brilant thank you for that brillant line
Just imagine the looks on their faces when he gets around to nuclear weapons and Mutually Assured Destruction!
I got linked here after someone commented that my own story was kind of similar. I enjoyed my stay!
1598097
I'm helping!
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352353
Or Cthulu. . .
This story is a refreshig breeze in the sweltering sands of fanfiction. good job.
BOUT TO READ A STORY THAT HASN'T BEEN UPDATED IN OVER A YEAR, this is bound to lead to disappointment cuz i'll have nothing new left to read.
Anutha one o' them crazies!
Very good story. Hopefully, it avoids that Humans Are Bastards idiocy that trips up so many.
I just realized something. This guy is similar to Adam Jenson in only one respect:
I am highly amused.
Lots of potential. Really good so far.
Can and will wait for more.
I'm having trouble with the whole "I like being alone" thing. If I liked being alone, I wouldn't mention it unless it was necessary. He's trying to get in and out as quickly as possible, and dropping emotional baggage like that just puts a neon sign over his head saying "Love me." Plus it makes him look like an emo.
Danny and Molly? I'm surprised no one else has pointed this out.
300674 Major Megan Faust. Yeah, he went there.