As Twilight slowly woke, she swore vengeance on Celestia.
Such a thing made her feel like she was little. It had been years since she had wished her mentor any ill. There wasn’t much point in loathing a defeated foe, especially when one had so many real ones.
But today, as the sun poured though the window of her cell onto her, the Lord Librarian was seething in her desire to push the heavenly alicorn into a wood chipper.
Hopping out of bed, Twilight set to checking the perimeter of her cell. It was a laughable jail - the walls weren’t electrified, there were no respiratory-failure causing molds to impede a prisoners long-term ability to maintain a fighting physique, and there were silk sheets on the bed.
SILK!
Twilight snorted derisively as she looked over the plush pink mattress and fluffy covers. No prison of hers would enable a convict to wake up feeling good.
The perimeter was, sadly, secure. Too secure for Twilight’s estimations - Celestia was too trusting of ponies. It seemed that somepony more military-minded had reinforced the cell - and that meant there was a chance that in this dimension, her brother was still free.
Twilight did not like that idea, not one bit.
“ Breakfast!” she barked, banging on the door of her cell before trotting to her desk to work on the dimension-bridging magitech blueprints. She had a lot of numbers to re-crunch before her ‘friends’ returned with the supplies for building the device. It would work, though not in the way Twilight had told them.
With a evil grin, she telekinetically grabbed a compass and slide rule and got to work.
She’d forgotten how easy it had once been to trick ponies. A little white lie, an omission of a fact, and a few flirty manipulations had once been able to get her anything - loyalty, treasure, even power. But as she’d grown, ponies had begun to learn her techniques. By the time she conqured Cloudsdale, everypony knew you could only trust the Lord Librarians word for as long as it took her to get somepony to stab you in the back.
But with these fools...oh, it would be so easy. There wasn’t anypony with a chance of catching her machinations - except for, perhaps, the goody-two-horseshoes dimension version of her brother.
The door opened and she turned, expecting the guard. She sighed and winced when she noticed it was a guard commander. Shining Armor, to be exact - proving once again that the advice from one of her favorite books, “ Tempting Fate - The Classic Mistakes of the Would-Be Villian” was something to follow - should always be followed. Page 27, paragraph two - ‘ Never speak of or think about the one pony who could foil your plans. They will inevitably show up for no good reason.’
“ Hi.” he said awkwardly, levitating a tea-tray over to her and setting it on the desk. It was set with an amazingly pleasant looking breakfast - most of her favorites were on it, from pulpy orange juice to sugared oatmeal. “ How’s it, Evil Twily?”
“ I assume you’re here as some sort of intimidation tactic?” growled Twilight, picking up a piece of toast - burnt on one side, crisp on the other, and buttered evenly - and taking a bite. It was just like her mother had used to make for her, before she’d put Mom and Dad in the salt mines.
“ Yeah. Standard techniques, bring ponies to visit the prisoner to make the prisoner uncomfortable. Celestia also wanted somepony to buff up the spells keeping you here. We’ve moved an entire unicorn platoon to counterspell duty.” he said in a professional, matter of fact tone.
“ Hardly sufficient.” chuckled Twilight, looking over her brothers form. She’d forgotten what he had used to look like. “ So, they tell me you married Cadance.”
“ They tell me you’re a jerk.”
“ The pink pony said you were mind controlled by a bug queen.”
“ They tell me that your deathbot got taken down by the palace gardener.”
“ They tell me that Mom and Dad aren’t slaves in a forced labor camp here.”
They stared at each other for a moment. The focus in Shining Armors eyes flickered for a moment - he was obviously not used to hating his sister.
Then, he cast a tickle spell on her ears.
“ AAA! AH AH AH!” she gasped, collapsing to the ground in delightful agony. “ NO NO! NO - he - NO - ha ha - no! - HA HA HE HA!” The spell was unmerciful, just like when they had been little. He always used this spell to mess with her, one of the reasons she’d taken her brother down early in her plan to seize power. It was her greatest weakness and he knew it.
When he stopped, she lay panting on the floor.
“ Twily asked me to stop doing that a few years ago.” Shining Armor said with an amused chuckle. “ But you are not her. So, I think I’ll use the spell whenever you step out of line. Oh, and I taught it to all of the guards.”
“ I will murder you.” Twilight hissed, trying to struggled back up. Her hooves were still unsteady as she wheezed.
“ Would you do that anyways?” asked Shining with a curious smirk. She scowled - it was rather obvious that she would. “ Well, got to go. I have a long day of watching your every movement ahead of me. Oh, and for some reason, Mom and Dad send their love.”
He trotted out. Twilight wanted to hurl a knife at him, but she both couldn’t - she lacked any knives - and found herself unable to even move. His last line had...stung.
Why had it stung?
Twilight hated her parents! She’d done monstrous things to them while they begged for mercy! Why would getting ‘their love’ via a pithy message by her brother suddenly fill her blood with ice?
With mounting horror Twilight realized that she wasn’t wearing her monocle and that her vision was perfect.
This dimension was starting to corrupt her.
Twilight woke up, her body feeling like it was on fire.
“ Oooooh, Celestia.” she moaned, rolling over. Her bed was lumpy and the sheets felt coarse. As a little bit of consciousness flowed into her brain, she started to remember the events that had led up to her passing out.
Her throbbing strangulation bruises filled the rest in.
Standing on aching hooves, Twilight found herself in a dingy looking tent. The cloth it was made from was dirty and old, as was her bedding, and there were no adornments. Spotting the exit, she trotted over and peeked outside.
A pair of glaring guards met her gaze, causing her to squeak and tumble back.
“ Morning, sleepybutt!” chirped a voice from behind her. Twilight spun and found Pinkie Pie standing behind her, dressed in combat gear like the stealth suit she’d worn in the Crystal Empire. “ How’s my little tyrant today?”
“ I’m...I’m not the Twilight you’ve met.” said Twilight, still trying to wake up and get her bearings. “ I explained it to Applejack and Fluttershy, I’m-”
“ From another dimension? Yeah, we know!” Pinkie Pie hopped around her with a broad smile on her face. “ Me and Rarity figured it out while the assault team were out! The liver squeezings were pretty new, but a little bit of Pinkie Sense Science and we zeroed in on dimensional conbobulation!”
“ Rarity’s here?” Twilight couldn’t contain the excitement in her voice. She’d feel a lot safer around a unicorn. “ Actually, who all is here? I’ve only met Applejack and Fluttershy...is Rainbow Dash around?”
“ You know Dash?” asked Pinkie Pie, sounding surprised.
“ She’s one of my best friends in my world - in fact, I’m friends with you, Applejack, Fluttershy, and most importantly Rarity!”
“ Wow!” Pinkie Pie’s legs folded as she sat back, looking stunned. “ You’re friends with all the resistance leaders!”
“...the resistance leaders?” asked Twilight, taking a moment to process the fact. “ Wait, okay...I’ve seen what Fluttershy’s become...and Rainbow Dash is, well, Dash...and Applejack I can kinda see...but what does Rarity do?”
“ She’s one of the few unicorns with any real magical talent on the rebels side.” said Pinkie Pie with a sigh. “ Some unicorns either joined you, most got mind controlled by that stuff the Flim-Flam Fiends cooked up, or are foals born to earth pony or pegasus parents. And we’ve been losing those - we’ve had a lot of them run away when food was short and join with you.”
“ Not me! I’m good me, not evil me!” said Twilight quickly.
“ Oh, yeah, forgot!” Pinkie Pie replied with a sheepish grin. “ So, I’m supposed to take you to be debriefed by the resistance leaders. Don’t try and escape or I’ll shank ya!”
“ You don’t need to worry.” said Twilight, wincing at the thought of being stabbed by Pinkie Pie - she had no doubt the mare could be an enthusiastic ‘shanker’ if pressed. Pinkie gestured to the door with one hoof...and kept another by the dagger in her belt.
Trotting outside with Pinkie Pie close behind, Twilight found herself in the Everfree Forest. A camp, hidden beneath the trees and built into both the tree trunks and embankments, stretched in all directions. Ponies were at work everywhere, training in combat, repairing weapons, and tending wounds.
Every single eye fell on Twilight within seconds.
With a nervous chuckle she followed Pinkie Pie’s directions. Everypony here looked hungry and weary, which is how Twilight felt at the moment - but she’d only been like that for a day, while the rebels could have been like this for years. To their credit, the dirt ponies looked like they were faring better than the pegasi or very few unicorns - though few had seen enough meals in a long time.
As Twilight passed by one of the training fields, she noticed two familiar dumbstruck faces - Snips and Snails. She had always liked them, even if they were idiots - the fact they were here at the training fields meant they were at least good hearted idiots.
“ Wow.” said Snails as Twilight passed.
“ Heh - I didn’t know evil overlords were your type.” chuckled Snips, nudging Snails with his elbow. “ Thinking of betraying the rebellion?”
“ N-no!” protested Snails, looking shocked. A number of ponies nearby were now watching him as closely as they were Twilight - and a few had looks on their faces that Twilight didn’t like. “ I just like her flank!”
Snips fell over laughing.
“ Oh, come on!” said an aggravated Pinkie Pie, skidding to a halt. She looked to Twilight, then to Snails, then to Twilight’s flank. “ That haybale does it for you? Come on, Snails, I didn’t have you pegged for a chubby chaser.”
“ Chubby?” Twilight couldn’t choke down a snarl as she whipped around to face her friend. “ Chubby? Pinkie, I will have you know that my body-mass index is perfectly healthy! In fact, I’d have to put on a lot of weight to even be considered chubby!”
“ Yeah, yeah, you tell yourself that, cupcake.” snorted Pinkie Pie. “ Come on, do you think anypony is buying that?”
“ Uh...just to be honest and fair...I kinda agree with Snails.” said one of the colts nearby, having stopped practicing with a mace.
“ Yeah, she’s not fat. She’s actually really pretty.” said a stallion nearby. A bunch of nearby mares shot him hateful looks. “ What? Back before she took over Equestria, all the mares used to look like her!”
“ I have never had hips like that.” said Pinkie Pie, jabbing a hoof at Twilights butt. “ And I doubt that any-”
“ Oh! Wait, wait, wait, I know whats going on here.” said Twilight, cutting her off. Everypony looked to her expectantly. She explained in a slow, easy to follow tone. “ Years of calorie anxiety and hunger have made everypony here a lot leaner than normal. Mares, when they have lower than healthy body fat, tend to lose their curves. What we’re seeing here is a comparison between a society of undernourished individuals and one pony who’s been on a more secure diet.”
Everypony blinked, then muttered quietly.
“ Uh, and Pinkie Pie...” said Twilight, trailing off as she looked to her friend, who did not look convinced at a thing Twilight had just said. “ In my world, you’ve been on a diet for two weeks because you ate so many cakes that the doctors said that you were risking creating a gravity well in your tummy.”
There was a short silence.
“ What kind of cakes?” asked Pinkie Pie, a curious look on her face as she gestured again towards the rebellion commanders tent.
“ All of them.” said Twilight with a sigh, returning to the task at hoof.
“ Even carrot cakes?”
“ Uh, yeah.” Twilight replied, caught a bit off guard.
“ Guess I’ll have to tell my husband I like him even in parallel realities!” said Pinkie Pie with a giggle.
Twilights brain stopped, as did her body, as she slowly processed that thought.
“ Y-you’re married?” Twilight said, turning to Pinkie Pie in shock.
“ Well, duh, how else do you think I had a foal~” laughed Pinkie Pie, but she stopped a moment later. “ Oh, wait, I’m not married in your world? Oh no, that means your version of me never met my Carrot!”
“ Carrot?” said Twilight, brain entering overdrive. It ran down a list of ponies that would possibly be romantically compatible with Pinkie Pie AND had the name Carrot and only came up with one. “ D-did you marry Carrot Cake?”
“ Yep! He hee - I must know him in your world, right?” Pinkie Pie looked excited as she pressed for information. “ I met him a little while after I ran away from my families rock farm.”
“ You ran away?” asked Twilight.
“ Yeah - I got sick of rocks. I wanted to have some fun.” said Pinkie Pie, looking confused. “ I thought you said I was your friend - did we never talk about that?”
“ My Pinkie left the farm when she got a cutie mark for throwing parties and moved to Ponyville because she heard it was a fun place to live.” explained Twilight.
“ A party cutie mark? That sounds amazing!” said Pinkie Pie, plonking into the air. “ I mean, I love to party! I always thought that’d make more sense than the Recon and Intel cutie mark I got!”
“ Wait, you have a combat cutie mark?” asked Twilight, looking to Pinkie Pies thin and bony flank. A pair of goggles and a trenchknife were there, set against Pinkies pink coat. “ Oh...wow.”
“ Yeah, it’s not a fun one, but it’s a good one to have.” said Pinkie Pie, looking at her cutie mark proudly. “ You should see Dash’s, though. It looks so badass - she didn’t get it until the first time she took down a squad of Shadowbolt’s - it a lightning bolt striking a skull!”
“ Wait, so she didn’t get a cutie mark for doing a Sonic Rainboom?” asked Twilight.
“ A sonic what?” Pinkie shook her head. “ No, nope, nosireeno. She got one for aerial blitz tactics.”
Twilight then looked to her own flank. Her stars were still there.
“ Uh...what is my cutie mark here?”
“ It looks just like that.” said Pinkie Pie, gesturing to Twilights flank. “ Huh, why do you have the same cutie mark in both worlds?”
“ Because I got my cutie mark for magic....but in my world, at the same time as I got mine, Rainbow Dash did a Sonic Rainboom - it’s a really advanced flight trick that causes a huge rainbow. It spread throughout Equestria and we all saw it - you, me, Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity!”
“ Huh.” said Pinkie Pie. “ That sounds really neat! We were all connected! We’d have to have become friends!”
“...which means I might know why Evil me became evil!” said Twilight, realizing the link. “ We were linked! We didn’t know it, but we were! Without you guys, I must have turned evil because I was always alone - even though I didn’t have any friends in my world, there was that underlying connection!”
“...so the only reason you didn’t try and take over your world...” Pinkie Pie trailed off.
“...is because...of you guys.” said Twilight.
“ Wow. Heavy stuff!” giggled Pinkie Pie. “ I bet you lose a lot of sleep over this tonight!”
“ Yeah.” muttered Twilight.
“ Now march, prisoner.” grunted Pinkie Pie, jabbing Twilight with a hoof. “ Lets get back to the whole ‘save the world’ thing before anypony in Canterlot realizes you’re gone.”
Elsewhere...in darkness...a pair of glowing blue eyes open.
“ LordLibrarianScan.exe has failed. Target_Lord_Librarian is not within acceptable bounds.” announces monotone voice. The darkness fades the eyes brighten, revealing a gleaming, armor covered cybernetic stallion. Hisses fill the air as power and oil hoses begin to disengage from the mechanized being, falling to the ground around him.
Ten feet away, a pair of mule janitors look around in shock, desperate to find whatever switch they just bumped.
“ What did you do?” howled one, fumbling with his broom.
“ I don’t know! I didn’t touch anything!” protested the other.
“ BROBOT online.” announced the synthesized stallion, stepping free of the machines that once refueled it. “ Beginning LordLibrarianSearch.exe.”
“ W-we need to go report this!” said one of the mules, looking to his co-worker. “ We need to get out of here!”
The mules froze as two baby-blue beams of light fell upon them.
“ Are either of you aware of the location, possible clues as to the location, or ponies who may know the location of the Lord Librarian?” inquired the shining stallion, taking heavy, pounding steps as it advanced on them. “ State your answer clearly or you will be annihilated.”
“ No!” cried the mules in unison as one hopped into the others forearms.
“ Very well. You may go.” announced the cyborg. The mules hesitated for just a second...and then fled from the room, knocking a stack of books that were by the door.
“ Running ExasperatedNagging.app.” announced the BROBOT, it’s mithril-coated horn glowing for a second. “ Dang it, Twily, stop leaving your books everywhere!”
Several seconds later, ExasperatedNagging.app terminated and the BROBOT resumed the search for it’s master. It got to the top of the stairs before it tripped over another pile of books Twilight had left haphazardly lying about, causing it to tumble down the stairs and run ExasperatedNagging.app again.