It has been four years since Equestria Online was first released, and it is now the most widely-sold video game ever to exist. Millions of people worldwide log on every day to interact with each other under the constant watch of the beautiful Celestia-AI. But as a faction of humanity spreads allegations over what they believe is a secret plan to enslave humanity in the games digital realm, a young man known simply as The Loner resolves to put a stop to Celestia-AI once and for all.

I thank my Dear Castortroy for all the help she has given me in writing this story both for what she has done and what she will do to help make this story a good one.

I have decided to make this a stand alone one shot story since I have decided to start over with an entirely new one one that will realize the potential this one lacked. from now on this should be considered a practice fic.

“You know how when you're at a party, and you use what you didn't realize was a magic letter to Princess Celestia to roll a joint?
I guess maybe that's not, uh, a thing, but yeah, I did that this one time. It was at that huge party Shannon and Adam had a while back. You know, Max's friends? …No, Celestia's not one of—They wouldn't know each other...
But anyway, yeah, in case you were wondering why I'm all like, a girl unicorn now, that was kinda the short version.”

Meet Rob, a 27 year old musician who gets more than he bargained blah blah blah
Get a front-row seat in his brain for the Long Version, as he wracks it trying to weasel out of being a pony, or at least not let anything slip by as he takes it one freaky moment at a time.

What will the other lost-weekenders think when they walk in on him passed out on their couch? Will he be able to get through the city and at least back to his apartment, if not to normal? Will he learn anything about REAL friendship along the way and stop being such an insufferable hipster? What if some blowhard fan author just couldn't “turn it off” and ended up trying to write a pony story as actual sci-fi? Will Ahuizotl get the statue? Does P=NPony? Can you grab me another beer while you're up?
And did that letter ever get to Princess Celestia?
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Your standard pony Trip Report, with your standard pseudo-autobiographical narrator, written to flush out my creative plumbing and play around with, uh, like, good...thinkies and word-putting, and because the urge to do it just wouldn't leave me alone, so I just had to get it outta my system. I just really like the juxtaposition of humans and ponies, I guess.

Title is obviously a reference to M-Theory and Tristram Shandy, respectively. Because I can never pick just one thing.

Rated T for Adult Situations, gratuitous overthinking, and fuckloads of swearing. Oh and I guess drug use.

A young woman awakens transformed into an Equestrian pony - yet no other human being can perceive her new body in any way whatsoever. With clumsy hooves, but a bright mind, Gregoria Samson must trust in herself to discover the incredible, monumental truth behind her impossible change.

This book is available to purchase on Amazon (Link)

♥ As Featured On Equestria Daily!

Set in the "Friendship is Optimal" universe, this is a one-shot story examining a throwaway line in one of the last chapters of the original - what happens when an implacable, ruthless and overall efficient Celest-AI meets something which isn't just dead matter, but doesn't qualify as human? This is one possible take on it.

Hello, I'm Mary. I'm a mother of two, married to the most wonderful man I could hope for and live what I consider to be, the life I've always wanted. So... why oh why, in the wide, wide world of whys, did this happen to me?

This is my story, for better or for worse, about how things in my life became beyond unbearable.

While walking home from work, through a thick blanket of snow you find a little filly name Luna laying in the snow. Would you take her home or leave her alone to freeze in the snow?

Note: The format is messed up on Monospace and Courier New

A foray into the Optimalverse.

The powerful, world-spanning AI Celestia has but one goal: To satisfy human values through Friendship and Ponies. But for those humans, is it worth sacrificing one group of friends for another?
And what's really so dang great about satisfaction, anyway? For those who value knowledge, is happiness ever worth self-deception?

Lyra has always fantasized about becoming a human, and walking amongst their culture. One day, she decides for the dream to become a reality, and become one with the people. When she convinces Twilight to preform a powerful spell on her, the unexpected happens.
Chapter 4 is currently being written!

Hey, guys. The name is Jaden Keller. I'm a regular every day brony just like you guys! Unfortunately, I work with another of our kind who just happens to be a science nut that is obsessed with inter-dimensional travel. His craving for a scientific break through into getting to the pony-verse gets him to the point where he makes this special machine that leads me to my new life of insanity. I'm not saying that being a pony is rueful, it's just, kinda hard to think that I actually have hooves. The only other normal pony in this world I know of is Doctor Hooves because he talks all time about how he cant use his hooves to pick things up. Anyways, I actually love my new life here in Equestria! The only thing is, every now and then, I wonder if I'll ever get back home. Well, I guess you cant always have everything you want, right? Am I right? At least I'm hanging out with my favorite pony in this world. All because of a wish I made upon a star. Err, well, something that looked like a star, really.

(Based off of this song I listen to everyday. Youtube video that inspired this fiction:)
[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzPXd5SR4fw]

Leber's Congenital Amaurosis, a genetic disorder that causes retinal dysfunction. In short, it causes blindness. James Baker was born with it. Hearing of a cure, James collected money and set an appointment to cure his blindness. While getting ready, James gets pulled into a whole new world. Equestria.