• Member Since 10th Jul, 2014

smeg


I get fucked up a lot. Sometimes this leads to writing.

Favourites 28 stories
  • Favourites 28 stories - 24 unread chapters
    Created by smeg
    - October, 2014
Found 25 stories in 50ms

Total Words: 1,090,176
Estimated Reading: 3 days

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T
Source

The royal court of Canterlot welcomes its newest member with open forelegs: the human philosopher Voltaire, from Earth.

On Earth, Voltaire is known as the greatest enemy of tyranny in the history of literature, and a legend in his own mind.

On Equestria, the court betting pool is giving him a week before the Princess banishes him to the Moon.


Note: This story doesn't have sequels per se, but there are a couple of short follow-ups set in the present day ("Parade Coverage" and "Secret Histories"), and a prequel of sorts in "At the Inn of the Prancing Pony".


TV Tropes page.

Chapters (46)
T
Source

After eating an incredibly spicy burrito, Rainbow Dash discovers some blood on the toilet paper the next morning. Dash panics and rushes to Twilight, who then accompanies her to the doctor.

Unfortunately, her issue is beyond Doctor Stable's expertise. He refers Dash to Doctor A. Scope, a proctologist, for a more thorough examination.

A parody of "X does Y" stories.

Thanks to ZOMG, Proper Noun, Pyrotechnic, ajvasquezbrony28, ValorlordV5, and Sir Rustbucket for editing.

Rated Teen for... Oh, c'mon, you know what you're getting into!

Chapters (1)
T

*Collab with Bad_Seed_72*
Twilight Sparkle, a mare of notorious street cred, doesn't want to spend the rest of her days gang-banging. Deep down, she doesn't care about the hoes or the money. She just wants peace of mind. Unfortunately, bringing yourself up through the slums is easier said than done. Twilight will need the help of her friends if she ever wants to make it out of the ghetto.

Twilight didn't choose the thug life. The thug life chose her.

And she wants to be un-chosen.

Chapters (2)
T
Source

At 3:15 AM, Adams woke me with a loud knock on my front door.
"Put your boots on," he said when I answered. "There's a biblical monster in my house."

* * *

A Visual Companion, by the author
Interview with the author, from the Royal Canterlot Library.
Audiobook by Robin Jacks and Wubcake.
Audiobook by Scribbler.
In-depth analysis by the Heroic Tales cast.
Literary Analysis by ScarletWeather.
Special thanks to GaryOak.
Reviews:
City of Doors
One Man's Pony Ramblings
PresentPerfect
Louder Yay
Between Lines
Bad Horse

Chapters (4)
T

Scootaloo has a great life. Her mother and father love her, and she adores them in return. She does well in school, even if some of the kids are jerks. Sure, she doesn't really have any friends, but she doesn't mind too much. She has almost everything she could wish for. And with her eighth birthday coming soon, who knows, maybe things will only get better from here. After all, everypony knows if you make a wish on your birthday then it comes true, right?

Please, leave a comment telling me what you think, I love hearing from my readers.

Edited by: Rainedash and Rocinante

Chapters (8)
T
Source

It has been one of the closest guarded secrets of Canterlot's royalty. Deep in a specially constructed dungeon, surrounded by warding spells and powerful magic barriers, exists an enigma. Within a cage that could only be described as something out of a nightmare, it waits and watches all of Equestria. A creature that cannot age, is immune to disease, does not thirst nor hunger, and resists all injury. But, it also holds secrets and knowledge that could safeguard the kingdom. Its powers are frightening, but it is civil enough for debate when patience permits.

Princess Celestia has sought counsel with the creature before, enduring it making deal after deal for its services. The Princess walks a fine line when dealing with it, knowing full well anything could give it an advantage despite its imprisonment. She has had to go back on her word in these dealings, and from this a deep animosity between them has been born. It is a necessary evil as she is convinced this is a being capable of untold evil far and above anything Equestria has ever dreamed of. So long as it remains within the confines of its cell, her kingdom is made safe. So much magic has been woven to ensure that, there is little chance of escape.

So long as the magic holds, there is no danger. So long as the cage remains strong, the nameless creature stays enthralled in his cavernous dwelling. If that were to change--if the magic failed--not even the wisest could say. But one thing is assured, it does not bode well for Equestria.

Chapters (14)
E

Reader, in ancient days, the old lords of the world numbered in thousands. Then hundreds. Then even less.
Now, they are found only in tapestries and fanciful ballads.
The creatures are all vanished. All but one.

Rumors say there are more of him, somewhere far away. A young and supposedly gifted mage called Star Swirl, and Heartstrings, a gentle spinster, have joined him on a journey to find the rest.

Featured in The Royal Guard's Fic Spotlight #5
TV Tropes page (that could use more love)

Chapters (23)
T

"We wear the mask that grins and lies, It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes."
— Paul Laurence Dunbar

It started as a normal Equestrian morning, but doesn't it always? The princesses are frightened, and in Ponyville, a creature from a forgotten race walks into town. His kind hasn't been seen in over a thousand years, but even then he's still far from what he appears to be.

Arc 1: The First Day

Author's Note: Hey guys! This is my first story, so constructive criticism is more than welcome. I'll take this moment to say that I own nothing but my main character, the plot, and a few surprises which will appear later. All other characters and linked music are NOT mine. A word on music. At times I might offer two links to a song. The first is the OFFICIAL version, the second is the closest approximation to how I feel it is sung in the story. Just warning you, because I know some people hate covers. This story is rated teen for occasional language, implied sex, and gruesome imagery (mostly late in the story and in flashbacks). Now with technical out of the way, I wish you all happy reading, and I hope you have fun.

Edit: Bug the writer! He writes faster when you do.

Chapters (7)
T
Source

A young man lost in the hilly embrace of a mountain sleeps the night away under a knot of tree roots. When he wakes he will find himself thrust into a strange new environment, the Everfree Forest. With only his pack and his experience as a Boy Scout to aid him, he must survive, make sense of his surroundings and with some luck, ultimately find his way home. What does one do after wandering beyond the edge of the map? And better yet...

What if you are not alone?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have been reading fan fiction here for a while and wanted to give something back.
My first fiction ever so constructive criticism is welcome. Fair warning, it takes a while for me to write a chapter so expect gaps between updates.

[Hiatus notice: As of 10/1/2022 this fiction is on hiatus so I may focus on other projects and items, will resume at a later date.]

Rated teen for strong language

Awesome cover art by Carnelian. Seriously, the guy has major skills with how fast he drew this up.

and of course ALL CHARACTERS / REFERENCES BELONG TO THEIR RESPECTIVE OWNERS. “MY LITTLE PONY FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC” IS OWNED BY HASBRO

NO PROFIT WAS MADE IN THE CREATION / DISTRIBUTION PLEASE DONT SUE ME OR ANY PARTY THAT DISTRIBUTES THIS WORK (unless they try to sell it, then by all means go nuts)

Chapters (15)