Twilight Sparkles learns a little too much about Fluttershy's personal life. Fluttershy can't stand the embarrassment and becomes frozen in fear. The only way to snap her out of it is for her friends to do some unmentionable things.

A woman gets transported to Equestria. In a strange twist, she's heterosexual. Too bad every pony in Equestria isn't.

Scootaloo's an orphan, let's get that fact out of the way. She lives in a cardboard box and it's rad as heck.

She also does other orphan stuff.

I'unno.

Big ups to Norse Pony for his editing work.

One would think that the wounded Trixie would appreciate Twilight Sparkle taking her in to nurse her back to health. But for some ponies, leaning on someone else isn't so easy. Their crossing of paths sets them both on a journey that neither of them would've expected...

The Royal Guard is an elite force culled from the very best and brightest that Equestria has to offer.
Not convinced? Well neither are the fillies of Ponyville. Thus, the Guard has dispatched its finest troops to show Ponyville Elementary just how competent the Royal Guard can be!

Celestia help them all.

(Rated teen because this story is not mature in the slightest.)

Sometimes, looking good can be hard.

Other times, it's impossible.

Today, for Princess Cadance, it just became impossible.

Literally.

Now, three princesses will confront a world they do not, cannot, understand.

But that won't stop them trying.

She swore she'd left the life. She'd hung up her sunglasses and her rapier wit, trading it for a modest life of attempted world domination followed by a little redemptive pennance. But it was not to be.

With Equestria fallen to a second changeling invasion, and every one of their greatest heroes felled and imprisoned, it will fall to her to raise the mic and attitude once more.

The burn-meista is back.

This story is a sequel to TWILIGHT SPARKLE FIXES EVERYTHING

It was going to be the most awesome party ever.

Pinkie was making her rum cake.

Everypony in Ponyville was invited.

Rainbow Dash had even gotten the most awesome gift in history.

Then everything went wrong.

But it was still the most awesome party ever.

OCCASIONALLY, WHEN RELAXING BETWEEN MONSTER TRUCK RALLIES AND ROCKET LAUNCHES, TWILIGHT "SCREW IT" SPARKLE RELAXES WITH A BOOK BY THE WARM FIRELIGHT OF OTHER LESSER BOOKS. LITERALLY, A BOOK, AS ONLY HER OWN AUTOBIOGRAPHY CAN SURVIVE THE SCRUTINY OF A GOD AMONG GODS-WHO-SUBSEQUENTLY-BECOME-MEWLING-WHELPS-BEFORE-HER-EYE-SEARING-GLORY.

THIS IS HER STORY.

AS IF YOU'D READ ANY OTHER.

(DUE TO A SURPRISINGLY APPROPRIATE WORDCLOUD, COVER ART NOW EXISTS. YOU MAY REJOICE.)

Sunset and Celestia have a conversation.