The Mounting of Rainbow Dash
Rainbow Dash had never done anything like this before. It was a moment she’d waited for all her life. Now that it was here, it deserved to be seen by everyone. In her precious hooves was a letter of recommendation to the Wonderbolts. She was in! Her life’s dream had been achieved. However, she wouldn’t be called up to serve until next season. She had too much left to do with Twilight and her friends in Ponyville. A loyal friend like her couldn’t abandon them for Canterlot so easily, so this was a fair compromise.
Still, this letter was something to be celebrated and that can mean only one thing; Mounting it in a frame!
“Stupid thing! How do I get it to stay straight?!” Rainbow fussed with the letter. It seemed every time she tried to close the frame, the contents would shift. “Phooey!” This was getting her nowhere. She had taken the whole day off to work on this project, but it was noon and there was no progress. It was time to seek assistance. After all, this letter deserved the best mounting of any letter in Cloudsdale!
She packed up her things in her saddlebag and glided down to Ponyville to ask for help.
Rarity was measuring out fabric patterns for different sizes. She put her pen down to answer the knock at the door. It was Rainbow Dash.
“Rarity! Do you know anything about mounting?”
Rarity was taken back. “Why?! What have you heard?”
“I haven’t heard anything, I just have some questions. I figured you’d be the one to ask. Y’know, cause you’re so creative and fashionable.”
“Oh,” Rarity was relieved. “Of course I am, Rainbow Dash. And, by the way, if you hear anything from the Racquetball Club, they’re all liars! Now what do you need to know?”
“Well, I’ve got something I’ve been trying to mount all morning, but I just can’t get it to fit right.”
The white unicorn was confused. “Um whom have you been trying this with?”
“Well, I’ve been trying this alone.”
A demure laugh spouted from Rarity, “Haha! Rainbow you need a partner for that sort of thing!”
“Yeah, I figured! That’s why I came to you!”
Rarity choked on her laughter. The choking turned to panic. With a simple “Sorry-just-remembered-I-have-a-dental-appointment!”, she rushed Rainbow Dash out the door and locked it.
Rainbow was puzzled and a little bit hurt but she continued on her quest for assistance. Later, she came across Pinkie Pie and Applejack sharing a Real Fruit Smoothie at a small cafe downtown.
“Hey, Applejack! I’d like to do some mounting today! Can you help me out?”
Applejack spit her smoothie across the table. “WHAT?!”
Pinkie Pie giggled.
“You heard me. Mounting is something want done today, and I need a partner.”
“And you want me to do it for ya? Just like that?”, Applejack was petrified.
Pinkie Pie giggled again.
Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, “Well, I’d LIKE it to be you, but I don’t have all day.”
“So, is that all I mean to you!?” Applejack galloped off in a fit.
“What’s her deal?” Rainbow Dash questioned.
Bless poor Pinkie Pie. She would have told Dash everything, but all her breath was devoted to rolling on the ground laughing hysterically.
That evening, a frustrated Rainbow Dash visited Twilight Sparkle in her library tree. The purple unicorn and the dragon were there working on checklists, as always.
“Twilight, I really need your help. I’ve been trying all day, but I’ve got no answers.”
“What is it, Rainbow Dash?”
“I need help with mounting. I don’t know anything about it and I have so many questions.”
“Spike, go to your room.” Twilight insisted. Spike complied, but only because he was too tired to argue.
Once they were alone, Twilight consoled her friend. “I know how hard it is ask these things. I have some books that will help.” She turned to get the key for her ‘special drawer’ of books.
“OK, can I do it on this table? I promise I won’t make a mess.” Rainbow said.
Twilight paused. “Wait, what exactly are you mounting?”
“I’m mounting this letter from Princess Celestia in a frame. What did you think I meant?”
Twilight panicked. “Wait, have you been asking everypony in town to help you ‘mount’?”
“Um, not everypony, there was just Rarity, and Pinkie Pie, and Applejack, and Pipsquek, and the Racquetball Club...”
Twilight facehoofed. “You do realize that ‘mounting’ is what it’s called when two ponies get together to reproduce, don’t you?”
Rainbow Dash was awash with a look of horror as the events of the past day were replayed in her mind. “Sweet Celestia!”
Twilight spent that evening consoling her friend over weak tea, and made sure the letter was properly mounted in its frame. An hour and a half later, Rainbow Dash was feeling better, and excused herself to use the little filly’s room. While she was gone, Twilight placed the frame on her own wall to admire it.
It truly was a fine mounting.
Just then Rarity burst into the room. “Twilight! You won’t believe what Rainbow said to me today!”
Twilight smirked, “She asked you to help her with mounting?”
“Yes! How did you know?”
“Because she asked me the same thing.”
“That two-timer!”
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BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Good one.
HAHAHA! so damn awesome. they are so short but still so damn awesome. and those endings; epic as always!
edit:
one thing though, would pipsquek really misinterpret what dash wants, i mean, he is kinda young
Epic, and here I thought this story was complete.....
fortunately.. it isn't
I hope that some day Hasbro will have the balls to do this for an episode. It will go down in history of televison, as the best episode of any show.
Epic.
What about starting up a story as a series of one-shots? I think Fluttershocked should stay a one shot with an epilogue.
wtf? im sorry my brain just shut down......
353051
Nah. I just wanted Dash's revalation to be as mortifying as possible. Plus Pipsqueak is underused.
Ai yai yai, facepalm overload.
Omg hahahaha I can't believe Rainbow Dash doesn't know about it hahahaha it's so funny that I think I almost pissed myself just like Pinkie Pie, but keep it coming please and your doing a great job as well.
BWUAAAAAHAHAHAHHA!!!! Can't stop laughing! ow, seriously! why did RD have to do tht of all ponies?!
I don't EVER say this, but...
Lol.
oh god, your awesome....
Fuck Her Gently - Tenacious D
How many times am I gonna need to repost this on the same story?
Ah yes, the hilarity of misunderstanding, brilliant!
HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT PUNCHLINES?!?!
Good thing she didn't ask Fluttershy, that could have been awkward.
O, man, so funny. Just when I thought this story couldn't get any better, you pull this off.
This chapter has earned this from me:
img.photobucket.com/albums/v146/Gildor_Surion/muffinbutton.png
Thank you for sharing this with us.
.... Wait... the story is still marking incomplete? O my goodness, what sort of craziness is going to happen next?
356630
Indeed... what IS going to happen?
LMAO
this is fantastic please proceed with this awesomeness.
It was SOOOO hard not to burst out laughing in the middle of class when I read this.
You're a god among men sir
Loved it, very funny
BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FU- BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM THIS DESERVES EVER LAUGH IN THE WORLD FOR THE NEXT CENTURY!
This chapter is completely non sequitor with the actual story.
I approve.
OH DEAR SWEET CELESTIA
THIS IS AMAZING
dash.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/133227674613.gif
WAHAHAHAHAHA,
Just then Rarity burst into the room. “Twilight! You won’t believe what Rainbow said to me today!”
Twilight smirked, “She asked you to help her with mounting?”
“Yes! How did you know?”
“Because she asked me the same thing.”
“That two-timer!”
That was an epic ending.
what the f
di I just read?!?
At first I was reading this fic with a toothpick in my mouth, then after the space break and reading onto Rarity's intro then the toothpick feel and was laughing my ass off and my parents had to console me on 'sanity' issues. Then I told them it was the ponies again and they backed away..... just kidding except for the toothpick falling and me laughing my ass off.
I never expected Rarity to have a say on Rainbow being a two timer which by the way was a lovely rap-up for this chapter. More please!
My right eye's tears of laughter were getting in the way half the story
353051
Somebody read redwall
HUR HUR HUR. Tricksy titleses...
That was bloody HILARIOUS!
And Rarity at the end... Yup...
oh my god my insides XD
oH god
encrypted-tbn1.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQlj9SERVHqCDj4BO5hWbyRkNRPeDRG2fzRcCzwAdS0mK3SQimk
AAAAAANNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDD THE AWARD FOR BEST ENDING PUNCHLINES ON ANY FANFIC GOES TOOOOOOO:
FLUTTERSHOCK!!!
HAZE-MAN! COME AND GET YOUR PRIZE!
100 MOUSTACHES!
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CONGRATULATIONS!!! YOU SIR, ALSO GET AN INTERNET AND MY APPRECIATION! TAKE IT HAZEMAT, YOU DESERVE IT!!!
It was truly was a fine mounting.
you should consider removing one of the "was"
681846
When Twilight told Spike to go to his room...
And these endings man-- just...