• Member Since 16th Feb, 2021

Depressed_Tea


What kind of cynical hell is this? I'm just meant to be a Tea-cup!

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Found 169 stories in 66ms

Total Words: 8,917,781
Estimated Reading: 3 weeks

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T

Anon thought he had it made, that his years of looking after and helping Celestia with her day-to-day affairs on the throne were over - unfortunately for him, he was only partially correct. With nothing but time on her hands, and a burning desire to make herself useful, his oversized and overpowered Princess drags him along to pursue more pedestrian professions...

Kinks Include: No kinks - well, there's a bit of unintended and awkward spiciness, but that hardly counts

Artwork by AnonTheAnon (Twitter @RealAnonTheAnon)

If you want to help support me, I have a Tip-Jar/Patreon HERE

Chapters (16)
T

This story is a sequel to Uncle Anon is a Bad Influence


Seventeen-year-old Flurry Heart just wants to live her own life, but her parents have other plans for her. "You're a princess!" "You need to set an example!" Bleh.

It comes as no surprise, then, that her father is more than a little upset to catch her drinking alcohol. To make matters worse, he read a book where something just like this happened, and he intends to give the protagonist's idea a try.

He has no idea how in over his head he is.


Contains underage drinking and foul language.

Written in part as a judge's entry for the Shining Armor is a Terrible Dad 2024 Competition.

Chapters (1)
T

This story is very simple and tart
Zecora tries to win Anon's tender heart
In a world where mares take charge,
and stallions are meek by and large.
Please don't point out the meter, don't be so morose,
it is by accident that I unlearned how to write prose.
Wrong drug and wrong dosage to boot,
Suddenly yielded this weirdly-rhymed fruit.
And if your interest still isn't yet gone,
Then, well, why don't you read on?..

Chapters (1)
E
Source

Rarity and Rainbow Dash's Hearth's Warming Eve movie night takes a hilarious turn when an oversized scarf becomes the center of cozy chaos. Worst of all, cookies are at stake.


Part of Serina's Hearth's Warming Eve Collection for 2023.

Chapters (1)
T

(AU; Trixie, Discord and other characters are different genders; expanded history; Unicorn-centric.)

Trixie Lulamoon, once a child prodigy that attended Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, is now a burnt-out occultist forced to live under the power of his old schoolmate, Twilight Sparkle, and undergo reformation for a crime against the Queen of Equestria.

Only a few months into his sentence, Trixie has been arrested for assaulting another pony at the Ponyville market. After Twilight comes to bail him out, they wrestle with their budding emotions for one another.

(Chronologically takes place near the end of season one.)

Chapters (1)
T

In the aftermath of the Changeling incursion of Canterlot during the marriage of Shining Armour and Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, Equestria gears itself for war against the Changeling menace. Against a foe that can take the shape of anypony, assume their life, and undermine Equestria from within, the Royal Pony Sisters create a new institution to monitor their Royal Guard for any Changeling corruption, cowardice, and incompetence: the Commissariat. As total war rages across the land one hero stands out above the rest; Commissar Blueblood, Hero of Equestria. Or at least that's what the propaganda says. The truth, as ever, is far more complex, as the esteemed Blueblood is merely looking for an easy and sedate life. Unfortunately, fate has a habit of throwing him into increasingly dangerous and suicidal missions, which he must survive with a combination of self-preservation, lying, and sheer blind luck, even if doing so only fuels his soaring reputation!

Equine military fiction in the style of Ciaphas Cain and Flashman.

Cover art done by me.

Proofread and edited by the always dependable Setokaiva.

Chapters (52)
T

Picture, if you will, the most mundane of existences that could ever be imagined on our planet. What you just thought up was probably very much like my own, happy, regular, uninteresting-in-every-possible-way life. Simply mix in a healthy dose of 'staying away from women or romance of any kind at all costs' and you've got it down pat.

Well, that didn't last long.

I guess all that boring-ness was saved up in some cosmic karma pool or something, because I've suddenly woken up in a strange pony land where everything's flip-flopped and I'm treated like a helpless child. And all with a new body, to boot!

Joy of all joys.

Hi, my name's Heath. Here's my story.


RGRE

This narrative is essentially the culmination of everything I've wanted to see happen in similarly-themed stories but never did. It is my belief that perhaps the best reason for writing a story is that you really want to read one that has not yet been written. That was certainly the case for Libero.

In any case, I won't spoil too much, but the purposeful lack of Comedy, Human, or Slice Of Life tags should be indication enough that this fic will not be following the path of its predecessors.

Updates will likely be very sparse, as that's just the kind of writer I am.

Chapters (8)
E

Anon has been living comfortably in Ponyville for a while now, but the novelty has been wearing off, and now he misses many of the entertainment options he had back home. He brings this up to Twilight, and together they arrange for a game night with her friends to try and make Anon feel more at home.

Unfortunately, Anon forgot just how badly human board games can strain or break even the toughest of friendships.

This story was a commission by IHateNumbers

Chapters (2)
T

Twilight is absolutely over the moon that Sunset Shimmer has found her true love.

Now if she could just do it somewhere else...


A dual entrant to Sunset Shimmer x EG/MLP Villains Shipper's Group and Operation: Crackfic-Storm

Featured on 30/3/2023

Chapters (1)
E
Source

The global dust storm of a century, the dying message of an indomitable robot, and a unicorn who just can’t let go of a mystery.





(Now with a dramatic reading by Skijaramaz - Tone Shift.)
(Russian translation available at ponyfiction.org.)

Chapters (26)