//------------------------------// // 5. Spike’s Home for Technologically Traumatized Thaumaturges and Trans-Dimensional Travelers // Story: My battery is low, and it’s getting dark // by Naughty_Ranko //------------------------------// *** Mission Log: Sol 5118 *** *** AOS – undefined *** *** Message Received (Source: null): I’m sorry, Ocellus. You’ll have to come back tomorrow. *** Opportunity watched Spike silently as the dragon talked to the young Changeling at the door. “No, I’m afraid Guidance Counselor Starlight isn’t available either. She seems to have come down with the same bug as Headmare Twilight … uh, bug isn’t offensive to you, is it?” Ocellus rolled her eyes. “Heard it only about a million times since I enrolled. It doesn’t bug me anymore, Mr. Spike.” “Heh, keep it up, kid. Between this and your shapeshifting abilities, you’ve got great potential as a dead-pan snarker. Anyway, I’d suggest trying Ms. Applejack. I’m sure she can figure something out until tomorrow.” “Alright,” Ocellus nodded. “Give my best to Twilight and Starlight. Hope they feel better soon.” “I will,” Spike said, waving goodbye to the student and closing the door behind her. “Alrighty then.” He picked up the tray he’d brought from the kitchen and had sat down nearby in order to answer the door. *** PanCam: Subject 023/B detected *** *** Hypothesis: Subject reacts to IDD movement *** *** Experiment devised *** *** Testing hypothesis *** Opportunity’s robotic arm moved slightly forward as Spike walked in. The dragon, without even thinking about it, made a fist and bumped it against the robot while walking past and setting the tray on a workbench. *** IDD: Impact detected *** *** Logging test result *** *** Conclusion: Insufficient data *** *** Preparing to repeat experiment daily *** Spike turned towards the sorry sight in the corner of the workshop which had Twilight Sparkle and Starlight Glimmer, two of the smartest and most powerful mages Equestria had ever seen, sitting in a fetal position and covered in blankets while their bloodshot eyes twitched in irregular motions. The objects of their scorn, two unassuming black boxes, lay in front of them. “It’s taunting me, Starlight! What’s a DirectX? Is there an indirect X? And why would it need a specific letter to display a picture?” Twilight moaned. “At least yours isn’t making those Tartarus-damned noises.” Both ponies jumped as Starlight’s computer made a high-pitched whining sound, indicating yet another failed recovery operation. “Ugh, it’s like it’s boring into my skull! I’ve turned off all sound. I even opened the thing up and disconnected the speakers! How can it make that sound!?” “Not again!” Twilight almost cried when she lightly moved the mouse and was greeted by yet another blue screen. “What do you want from me? I’d be happy to restart in DOS mode, whatever that is, if you gave me any indication on how to do that.” Spike sighed. “What a sad sight.” He poured a cup of chamomile tea for Twilight and black coffee for Starlight. Leaving them to cool for a minute, he fished a regular rock from a mixed bowl of stone and gems and laid it in front of the rover. “Eat up, Opi.” Opportunity swiveled its PanCam to the rock in front of it, then watched as Spike picked himself a nice emerald out to snack on. Noticing the stare of the camera, the dragon paused. He moved the gem closer to his mouth. The camera eyes followed. He moved it slowly away. The camera eyes followed. “Oh, come on!” he complained, clutching the treat protectively to his chest. “I shared my quartz cereal with you just this morning.” Opportunity didn’t blink. The staring contest continued until a buzzing sound could be heard from the other end of the room. “Oh, alright,” Spike grumbled and placed the gem next to the rock while moving over to pick up the glowing and vibrating journal. “Enjoy.” *** PanCAM: Sample detected *** *** IDD: Extending Instrument Deployment Device *** *** RAT: Preparing for core sample *** While Opportunity was happily grinding away at the emerald with its Rock Abrasion Tool to get at ‘the good bits,’ as Spike would have put it, the dragon read the new entry in the journal which he recognized as Sunset’s handwriting. Hello Spike. Sorry I couldn’t get back to you earlier. Twilight (human Twilight, that is) was still at her club activities. But I’ve got her for you now. Hello? Testing … This is Twilight Sparkle … Human Twilight. Hello, Twilight. This is Spike. Appreciate the long-distance tech support call. Starlight and Twilight (pony Twilight, that is) have just completely shut down. I guess it has to do with those boxes Sunset gave them. Oh, wow. This thing really works! This is so weird! I’m talking to an alternate universe version of my dog through a magical journal! How does it work? Is it quantum entanglement? Would it still work if you put three journals together? Does it have any features that … Twilight! Focus! Oh, sorry. That was incredible! There’s usually no stopping her when she gets like this. How on Earth did you do that? (This is Sunset, btw.) Practice, Sunset. You gotta pinpoint the hyperventilating pauses that pop up mid-rant. It’s hit and miss, though. Better to spot a Sparkle rant from a distance and cut it off before it happens. You’ll get the hang of it. Now, in regards to my problem? Right, let’s get down to business. Sunset didn’t really give me a lot of info on the laptops she picked up for you. What kind of OS are we dealing with? What’s an OS? Okay. I’d like you to get on one of the laptops please. I can do that. Starlight just hid under her blanket with a shriek, so I guess she’s not using hers. Alright. I want you to press the button that looks like a little window. Keep it pressed and then push ‘R.’ In the prompt that opens, type in ‘winver’, hit Enter and tell me what it says. I don’t see … oh, wait there it is … okay. It says Windows ME at the top. … Twilight? Still there? … Oh, dear. Opportunity retracted its instrument arm and looked around. It took in the sights that seemed to be becoming familiar now. Considering past mission days, something felt different. There hadn’t been any shortage of interesting things to look at, yet it hadn’t moved for days. This was highly unusual. It also logged certain subjects it had tagged in different locations. This was even more unusual. Opportunity had become accustomed to going out and finding new things, not have new things popping up out of the blue. The machine watched Starlight rocking back and forth under her blanket. Unsure what to make of the sight, it did a panoramic sweep of its surroundings and noticed something, specifically two steaming cups, one that said ‘Best Princess’ and one that said ‘I hate Mondays’ on the side, standing forgotten on a workbench while Spike’s attention had been taken up by the journal. It turned back to the two ponies. Opportunity, having already reached the conclusion that its mission parameters were changing, reached another conclusion. Things that were supposed to be together were apart. It had observed these subjects in specific constellations before. And the ponies always seemed calmer while being in close proximity to their respective mugs. Was there anything in its programming that could rectify this? Anything to help them feel better, as they had done for the rover in cleaning it, charging it and giving it commands? *** Experiment devised *** *** NavCam: Calculating path *** *** IDD: Calculating vectors *** *** Message Received (Source: null): What do you mean, I need to update the drivers? This thing doesn’t even have wheels! *** *** PARTIAL COMMAND RECOGNIZED: Drive / Wheels *** *** Powering up electrical motors *** *** Drive mode engaged *** *** Testing hypothesis *** The whirring of electrical motors startled everyone in the room, making the two ponies stand up and take notice, even though the sight remained just a little comical with the blankets draped over their heads. “What’s it doing?” Twilight asked with her jaw taking off towards the floor as Opportunity jerkily moved forward slightly. The rover rocked slowly back and forth, testing the ground after being stationary for so long. It reoriented itself towards the workbench with the tray and took off at its blistering top speed of one centimeter per second. “I think he’s getting your drinks,” Spike said after hastily scribbling a ‘Call you back’ into the journal. Every ten seconds, Opportunity paused to get its bearings until it finally arrived at the workbench. In a series of intricate and precise maneuvers, it lifted the tray with its instrument arm and turned, without spilling anything, around to the ponies and dragon. They stood transfixed while Opportunity closed in, stopped and offered the tray to the ponies. “Thank you,” Starlight managed to utter while picking up her coffee in her magic, her eyes never seeing the cup and remaining on Opportunity instead. Twilight simply took a long drink. Opportunity set down the tray, turned to look at Spike and moved its arm to retrieve his emerald from the sample bin. Having finished with it and having logged the data for later upload, it pushed the gem back towards Spike for him to enjoy. Spike gobbled it up in one crunch, then gave the rover another fist-bump. “Thanks, Opi. If you only take a nibble, I suppose it’s fine if we share.” Then Opportunity reviewed what it had learned and made sure to commit it to memory. *** Experiment concluded: Status nominal *** *** Logging test result *** *** Conclusion: Starlight – likes coffee – hates Mondays *** *** Conclusion: Twilight – likes tea – Best Princess *** *** Conclusion: Spike – likes gems – shares samples ***