Short Shorts

by Coranth

82. Your Human And You--How I'd Do It (YHaY + Author SI)

"Your Human And You"; an Alternate Version of some scenes. How my SI would handle things when he's... mostly... not being nasty...

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At the Spa...

“How bad was the injury?” Twilight asked, allowing Aloe to push her gently back onto the table. “Nothing permanent I hope.”

“No, nothing permanent. Just some slight pain every now and zen,” Lotus sighed, absentmindedly stroking my back with a hoof. “It’s just zat ever since zen, I have been rather nervous around humans. I realize zat not all of zem are violent, but-”

'That won't do...' I thought. Sitting up, I gently pushed Lotus away from me. As Twilight looked on in apprehension, I got off the table. Carefully, I wrapped my arms about Lotus, picked her up and set her down where I had just been. Then, as all watched on, I unwrapped her bandages that I might assess her injuries myself. 'Hmm...' I thought to myself as I gently felt beneath her fur, 'bruising, cause: broken ribs. That human sure did a number on her. Fortunately, they've been properly dealt with--but I can finish the job.' With that thought, as Lotus lay before me, wide-eyed and trembling, I placed my hands upon her body then pushed my power into her, my hands glowing gently with cerulean light as I set to healing what remained of her injuries. As the warm healing light of my psionic power permeated her body, Lotus gasped... and then, she slumped, boneless, her eyes closing as she groaned in sheer bliss...

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Twilight and Golden Ingot

“In fact,” Golden said, shoving his face right into Twilight’s, “the only reason you even became Celestia’s pet was because she felt sorry for you when she saw you couldn’t control your powers! The only reason you are where you are today is because you were a complete and total fail--YARRRGGH!" Golden Ingot had screamed like that because I'd had enough. Before Twilight - or any pony - could do anything to stop me - I picked up the arrogant stallion the way a Russian Weightlifter lifts weights! Then, as he screamed in terror, I turned my body, spinning him around, and around, and around... Some fifteen minutes later, when Golden Ingot was thoroughly dizzy and disoriented, I tossed him down to the ground where - after he managed to get to his hooves - he stumbled over to a nearby garbage can and vomited into it until there was nothing left, yet still he continued to retch and heave...

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At Sugarcube Corner

After some time, maybe ten minutes or so, (I wasn't exactly paying attention) I felt the sensation of something gently poking my leg. Not wanting to open my eyes, I remained still and tried to ignore the feeling. Unfortunately, the culprit had something else in mind. Soon, I felt something climbing up on my lap, then felt two small things poking my chest. Opening my eyes, I saw that one of the foals - the little unicorn filly - was standing in my lap, her little fore hooves pressed against my chest. Her blue eyes were looking up at me with curiosity.'Oh, Adun... hnnngggh...!' I thought.

Moving with the utmost care, I placed my hand on top of the foal's head and started to pat and rub her mane in a friendly manner. The filly, Pumpkin as everyone was calling her, started to giggle and laugh at my action, making it harder for me to keep a straight face. That's how cute she looked. At that point, I just couldn't help myself; I seriously cuddled that little filly, letting my hands roam where they would! I ran my hands over her neck and back, combed my fingers through her mane, gently scratched her behind the ears, then gently rolled her over such that I could massage along her forelegs and gently cup her hooves in my hands; then I stroked and caressed her chest and barrel for a time before moving lower to bury my hands into her fluffy tail.

All the while that little filly giggled and cooed, and laughed. 'I don't care what they do!' I declared silently. 'They can filch me for foal fondling! They can punish me for pony petting! But I will! Keep! Petting! This! Foal!' I never thought a little filly could actually, purr... but Pumpkin did as she became little more than blissful putty in my hands...

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The Train

“I’d like two tickets to Canterlot please,” I said, pushing magic through my horn and placing the bits on the counter with a soft ‘clink’. The stallion behind the counter glanced down at the bits, then looked back up at me. His eyes then flicked over to Max for a brief second before he shook his head, his bored expression never changing.

“Sorry Miss, but we don’t allow humans to ride in any of the train cars unless it’s first class,” he sighed, sounding like I was wasting his time. Nodding towards Max, he continued in the same bored manner. “Your human will have to travel with the baggage, with all the other garbage, just like all the other humans. No exceptio--GHHHKK!"

A terrified scream left my throat as my human - his eyes glowing brilliantly with his power - slowly clenched his hand into a fist... and as he did so, I could see the rude stallion's neck begin to crumple inward. The stallion... he was being choked! As he coughed, wheezed, and struggled to breathe, I whirled about to face David. My human stood there, a look of chilling indifference upon his face. "What are you doing?! Let him go!" I shrieked. "Please, let him go!"

But David didn't obey me. He wouldn't, not until, "... he can come with you!" the now terrified stallion gasped. "He can... go... on the... train. Let me... go! GHHKK!" With those words, finally, David did; he released the stallion and - as the pony sucked air into his deprived lungs - my human just stared at him with chilling cold disdain... before a cruel smile split his lips. A chill ran down my spine, then, as I realized that David had only released the stallion because I had been there, because I had asked him to. Shortly thereafter the stallion fled, and we boarded the train.

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The Warehouse/Fighting Pit

“Come on boy, that’s it! Carve him a new one!” a voice cried out, barely discernible in the noise of the crowd. Quickly glancing up, I felt my anger growing as I identified the speaker. Golden Ingot leaned over the edge of the pit, sneering down at us. He happily puffed on a fat cigar as he watched the spectacle below him...but not for long. With a touch of my latent power, I wrenched the shiv from the other human's hand... and then sent it - with psychically enhanced speed - flying at him. Before the wretched stallion could breathe, blink, or even hope to make any sort of movement at all, Golden Ingot died swiftly, choking upon his own blood as the makeshift blade lodged in his throat.

The ponies around me began to scream in terror and then all attempted to flee... but I didn't give them the chance. With Psionic Storms, Blasts, and powerful Assaults, I laid waste to the warehouse, the humans, and the ponies within. As I exited the warehouse, I made sure to psychically seal and lock the doors on my way out. Then, as I walked away, I immolated the place with psionic fire so bright that Celestia would be sure to see it even from Canterlot. The screams of neanderthal humans and vile equestrian ponies dying within were as music to my ears, and a balm to my soul as I stayed to watch the place burn. Then, once it was done and the Warehouse was little more than dust and ashes, I discovered that I was in some kind of old Market District on the northern edge of Ponyville. Duty-bound, I sought the psychic 'tag' I had placed on Twilight, and started to make my way back 'home' to her library...

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Sweetie Belle (non-canon)

As Rarity looked on in wonder, gently, I caressed little Sweetie Belle's right ear, using my psionic power to reshape the tattered flesh I saw there until it was whole once again. Then, I turned my attention to the scar on her right flank and her bad right hind leg. 'This won't be too difficult' I thought as I worked, 'just need to reshape that scar, repair the muscle there, transfer a bit of flesh about from here to there, and... done!' The light of my power faded and I gently removed my hands from Sweetie's body.

+You're done, little one+ I wrote on my notepad. +The only thing I couldn't fix was your eye. If I could get back in contact with the Weyr, though...+ Suddenly, I was tackle-hugged to the ground by first a grateful Rarity, and then a tearful Sweetie Belle as she bawled into the cloth I wore. Humming softly, once again I couldn't help myself and seriously petted that little filly; she cooed and wriggled and leaned into my touch. "Anything," Rarity whispered, awed, "anything you want of me, it's yours, darling."

Comments

[MadMaxtheBlack]

AH HAHAHA! Brilliant! I love it! Especially the scene with Sweetie Bell.

[Oddboy]

There is something immensely satisfying about problem solving utilizing psionic power, muscles and pure human "fuck you, I'm not taking your shit" attitude towards assholes. Especially if you do it in a way that lets you keep the moral high ground, because then they can't even accuse you of being an asshole like they are, which is even more satisfying.

Feeling that way probably makes me at least a bit of a bastard, but It's hard to care.

...I'm almost convinced that the ponies are actually part cat or something. They're too cute not to be, and I'm pretty sure at least Pinkie actually would purr if you pet her enough.

[Coranth]

4032654 These were scenes in "Your Human and You" where I either facepalmed very hard, or thought, 'Why doesn't he DO something or (Re: Gold Ingot) do something more???" Augh! It was driving me NUTS! So I had to write this counter-fic...

[Oddboy]

4032765 As counter-fics go, it was pretty good. Especially spinning Golden Bit around so much he threw up xD

[Captain Absolution]

Now, this chapter was way better then the last one. No asshole Gary/Mary/fuckifIknow Stuness. Good, good.